Channeling Erik®
  • Bipolar disease
  • May14th

    26 Comments

    I’ve noticed that a lot of blog members struggle with not-so-nice spirits hanging around them. Erik gives up great advice on how to handle them. If you like this post, please share!

    Me: One blog member wants to know this: You said that once a psychopath passes, they’re relieved of their condition. That’s nice to know. So, we can presume that dementia and bipolar disease disappear, too. Is that right?  She goes on to say that Ted Bundy was cool about having spiritual contracts to kill those women. She’s wondering if some spirits are stuck in an earth memory phase, but, for her, it doesn’t appear to be so. What about evil spirits who torment us? They can seem to by psychopaths from our perspective, so are the latter not suffering a latent memory lapse of their previous human state—not psychopathic, but rather making a personality choice to be bad because that’s still the stage their spirit is in?  So basically she’s saying Ted Bundy passed over and was fine because what he did was part of a spiritual contract and had meaning. So, why are some of these spirits evil torment us?

    Erik: They obviously haven’t crossed over, Man. Like, you die; you have a choice. Do you stay on Earth in the lower dimensional planes or are you going to cross over to where your natural state of being would be, cuz you don’t have a fucking body? So, if you were crazy and didn’t believe in God and all that shit and you die, then guess what? You’re not—

    Erik (to someone else):  Yeah, I know.

    (Pause)

    Jamie: Who are you talking to? I didn’t say anything.

    (Long pause)

    Jamie bursts out into laughter. I’m left hanging.

    Jamie: Wow! Some other person in spirit was telling him, “Don’t put it that way.”

    Jamie (to Erik): Oh my god! Did you just get in trouble?

    I gasp.

    Erik: No, but it was a good point. I didn’t want to base the concept of going to Heaven on the belief in God.

    Me: Oh, yeah. Right.

    Erik: Cuz that’s not what gets you there.

    Jamie (to Erik): Who was that?

    Erik: No, don’t worry about it.

    Jamie: He’s giving me these hand signals like, “Shut the fuck up.”

    (Pause)

    Jamie (to Erik): Uh uh. You put me on the spot all the time!

    Me: So, it’s your turn, Erik.

    Jamie: Your turn, Buddy!

    (Pause)

    Jamie: It’s an archangel that watches him. He calls it part of his team.

    Me: Oh! Okay.

    Jamie (laughing): The team that’s helping him be a better spirit! A better person.

    Me: Aw.

    Jamie: And this was all formed because of his growing character on Earth.

    Me: Oh.

    Jamie: Yeah, because he has, uh (to Erik) you’re right. You do!

    Erik: Because I have a huge opportunity to teach people a simple truth not based in any religion. But, you know, sometimes you fuck up and say those things. That’s why I have them there. They’re like my autocorrect.

    Let’s hope it works better than the iPhone autocorrect. My brother in law, Jim, texted somebody about virtual reality and it ended up as “Vaginal reality.”

    Me: That’s good, Erik. Are they like your supervisors?

    Erik: Yes.

    Jamie: I looked at him and go, ‘You care!’ And he goes, “Of course I do!” But, you know, he just plays it off as if he’s some tough, rough kid, and then all of a sudden when you see that side of him, you realize how much work he’s putting into it.

    Me: God, yes. You work so hard, Sweetie.

    Jamie (with a slight quiver in her voice): That’s so awesome.

    Me: But sometimes you have fun doing it. It’s good that you are having a good time.

    Jamie: Aw, he just leans back in his chair and goes, “Ah, I love my job! This is me.”

    Me: That’s so awesome.

    Erik: So, yeah, you don’t have to believe in God to get to Heaven, but, if you had no belief about the afterlife and you were an asshole, you’re going to be an asshole still, just without a body. It’s in the higher dimensional—

    Jamie: I like that. “Higher dimensional.”

    Erik: –dimensional planes where those lower vibrational emotions just don’t resonate. So, of course when you cross over, all that bipolar crap and, you know, the need to kill people and to fuck people up—it’s just not really there. I mean, you can have those thoughts; you just can’t pass it on; you can’t really act on it. They just go flat. So, if they’re dead and they’re having those thoughts; you can pretty much say that son of a bitch hasn’t crossed over. They’re hanging in the lower dimensional.

    Jamie (giggling): Dimensional! I like that.

    Me: He’s got the lingo down!

    Jamie: Yeah. Dead people lingo. The dimensional.

    Me: Sounds like a TV show. The Dimensional. Or a band.

    Jamie: Oh, wouldn’t that be fun.

    Erik: Ahem. So, if you’re hanging out with a spirit that’s a little tweaky-tweaky, first of all, I’d say. ‘What the fuck did you do?’ You’re obviously not protecting yourself. You’re entertaining this kind of interaction.’ So, I’d say, ‘Shame on you!’ cuz you have more power than Mr. Crazy Dead Person! I would tighten that up, and then I would start laying better boundaries for that shit to get away from you, and if you are the “chosen one” to help Mr. Crazy Dead Person cross over, then fucking man up! You know, do it! Do your job. Help it. Who knows why the crazy dead person picks that one person who probably has no fucking knowledge about how to help a dead person cross over. It could just be this living memory of who they used to be.

    Me: Exactly. Wait; let me tell my sister to get the dog. She’s barking. She’s a little Yorkie puppy. Weighed 12 oz. when we got her, and she’s still so tiny. She wants to play with the cat.

    (I try to call my sister, but she must be outside.)

    Me: She’s supposed to be watching her. Okay, go ahead.

    Erik: I was wondering how long you were going to take that barking.

    Me: I know. Okay, go ahead, Erik.

    Erik: I don’t remember where I was, cuz I went over to the house to see the dog bark.

    Me: Okay. Anything else?

    Erik: Nah. Just tell that person that if they have someone like that around, they’re the ones who are fucked up. Set the boundaries. Tell them this is not what you’re looking for; this is not what you’ll allow.

    **************************

    Be sure you share all of the pranks and visits you’ve received from Erik on our new “Erik Visits” page by clicking on the appropriate tab on the top menu of the homepage or on the link below. Even if you experienced a whopper in the distant past, don’t keep it to yourself!

    ERIK ENCOUNTERS

    Take this POLL whether or not you’ve had him spook you!

    **************************

    This is a very short YouTube of Erik sharing some of the struggles we have as humans. If you are human, you need to watch. If you’re not and you’re eavesdropping and thinking, “Nanny nanny boo-boo. It must suck to be human,” go back to your alternate universe!

    HUMAN EXPERIENCE, PART THREE

    *******************************

    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

    Love and light,

    Elisa

     

  • October23rd

    39 Comments

    I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for the results of the innie/outie poll with baited breath, so without further ado, here they are:

    Outie: 91%

    Innie: 9%

    Please know that this was all in jest. Whether you have an innie or an outite and nothing to do with those little tornadoes and stumpy things. I think it’d be fun to have more of these polls with our entries, though. Maybe y’all could come up with some suggestions as long as we keep religion and politics out of it! :-)  Let’s start making a list. I also think if we have these polls it might encourage everyone to share the Channeling Erik site on Facebook and other social avenues. You thoughts? Now for some Erik:

    Me: Erik, Where would you rather be, the earthly plane or where you are now, your mission not withstanding? Pretend like you don’t have the mission you have now.

    Erik: And I had to be myself?

    Me: Well, yeah! What other choice would you have?

    There’s a long pause throughout which I can hear Jamie’s quiet but raspy laugh.

    Erik: Come on, that’s just—

    Jamie: Erik, just answer it.

    Erik: I guess I’d rather be in the spiritual plane.

    Me: Okay, why?

    Erik: Cuz of the difficulties I had while I was alive. If I could come back without the mental disorders, I’d do that.

    Me: Yeah, okay, so what if you could come back without the mental disorders, the tics, the teasing from your peers and all of that?

    Erik: Okay, I’d come to Earth again.

    Me: So, what would you like better, the afterlife without your mission or the earthly plane without the mental disorders?

    Erik: I’d go back to Earth without the mental disorders. But I’d stay in the afterlife if the mission was a factor.

    Me: Wow, interesting. I wasn’t expecting that. I thought the spiritual plane was so much cooler! So, what do you like about Earth that you can’t have in the afterlife?

    Erik: Pot.

    Jamie (laughing hard): No!

    Me (laughing): You can get that same high over there, Erik! C’mon!

    Jamie continues to laugh.

    Me: Think of all the pizza you can manifest over there, too. And nachos. Cheese dribbling down your chin. No cheese slap pain.

    Erik: Exactly! Earth! There’s just this physical element, this physical experience you can’t replicate anywhere else.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: That makes the suffering increase ten-fold, you know.

    Me: I know. But I bet when you transition back to the afterlife, you think, “Look how trivial those hardships were. Why did I get so bent out of shape about it? I was whining for nothing!”

    Here’s another poll, just for fun. (I’m turning into a Monkey Survey junkie.)

    Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world’s leading questionnaire tool.

  • August6th

    18 Comments

    I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I had a great time doing absolutely nothing. Ah! Today, Erik is going to talk about two subjects: the aggressive bipolar person and money. An eclectic duo. Truth is, both pieces aren’t very long, and I didn’t want you to feel short-changed. As I review the entries over those months this last winter and spring, I do see that I could have gotten more in depth, asked Erik for more detail. Sometimes I have to push him a bit. But I got in this rut of just feeling pressured to get through the list of questions quickly. Part of that pressure, of course, has to do with the fact that I pay with all of these channeling sessions. Don’t get me wrong. These sessions are just as much for me as for you. They are a crucial part of my healing process. Plus they’re so much fun. But lately I’ve been taking a deep breathe and, with each question, probing into more nooks and crannies. Sometimes it’s like pulling eye teeth, so to speak. (Sorry, Erik.) But it’s so much more satisfying and doesn’t leave you wanting for more. (Erik uses a different term that I can’t use. Let’s just say the initials are B.B. Sigh.) Anyway, I am trying to get out of that frenetic rut and I hope you notice that soon when we get to that part of the transcription queue. Of course, I slip up from time to time, but… Also, there will be times when Erik simply doesn’t have anything else to say on the topic either because we’re not meant to know the details or, more likely, he doesn’t know them. (Again, sorry Pumpkin.)

    As you can see from the first part of the post, this is the beginning of a channeling session. From April 20th to be exact.

    Me: How are you, Erik?

    Jamie: He’s doing great, and he has his humor pants on today.

    Me: That could mean trouble. Are you going give us a ride for our money?

    Erik: Could be. That’s how my day’s been so far.

    Me: Good! You in a good mood?

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: Okay, we were talking about Bipolar Disease earlier, but I forgot to ask about those who, when they’re manic, get very aggressive and angry. What about those? They don’t seem, um, unlike the others, how could they be connected to Source during their manic phases?

    Jamie: He’s giving me a visual that I don’t even know how to explain! It looks lie a person who’s stuck in a piece of artwork. It’s very dark on one side and very colorful on the other side, but the person is stuck in the middle. There appears to be a bubble or an outline where the person cannot touch the color and cannot touch the dark, so they cannot interact in either dimension or either side.

    Erik: There’s nothing to ground themselves in except real dense human vibration which is anger force, jealousy. That’s where you really get a huge mind fuck. That’s where you can’t feel. You can’t feel anything, Mom. You’re being robbed of that sensation and, you know, you don’t sit around like a baby lamb and say, oh, look at me. I’m so helpless. Come hold me. Come love me. Cuz you can’t even feel that. You don’t know what to ask for except to get angry at everything, even inanimate objects. You get angry at them, and they haven’t done anything to you.

    Me: Yeah. How terrible for them.

    Jamie: He gives me such a cool visual. I wish I could explain it more.

    Me: Well, I get a good idea. Anything else about that?

    Erik: Nah. Next question?

    Me: Okay, let’s talk about money. Why does money come so easy to some people and so hard to others? Does it come back to the whole thought creates reality thing? Is it a karma or past life thing? What’s it all about, Erik?

    Erik: Well, if it’s a karma thing, you first have to believe in karma and you have to believe in past and future lives and believe in a linear time frame.

    Me: Well, that’s true. Karma is a human construct.

    Erik: Yeah, so let’s just shit on all that.

    Erik: Really, it’s just wrapped into the lesson that they’re trying to grasp. It’s based on the way people perceive money. If—

    Jamie (Erik): So that goes together?

    Erik:based on how you perceive money and what your lesson is on how money will play a role in your life—that same way as with relationships. That same way as how you perceive relationships is how it’s going to show up in your life again. If people love money and embrace it and have a healthy relationship, it tends to show up more often, and it can show up as gifts where it’s given to you or you work for it or as opportunities. Different, different, different ways. But those who say money comes so hard to them, that they can never make it, and they struggle in life for it, they feel like they’re being robbed or taught a lesson in life to be in poverty—trust me, even if they are in poverty, they haven’t felt it yet, because they won’t let themselves see their own reality. They keep the hope glasses and they victimize other people—”It’s other people’s fault that I’m this way. They don’t like me.” It’s just because they won’t look at themselves. It’s so true, Mom! You watch it; you see it in other people. They blame other people for exactly what they’re doing.

    Me: Yes, I do. Exactly. 

    Tomorrow we begin a four-part channeled series on religion and related topics written by blog member, Ash. You’ve seen her comments. They’re stellar, insightful, full of wisdom. I hope you all enjoy! Have a wonderful week.

  • July17th

    18 Comments

    As I sit here next to my mother who is hours away from her transition, I was overcome with the urge to reach out to you all with a post. When I saw what subject was next in queue, I realized that synchronicity was at work, as always. You see, my mother suffers from dementia and is now dying because of blood clots in her lung, arrhythmias, and from not eating and drinking for several days.

    Here, Erik discusses the soul’s fluid motion in and out of the body in various mental states and conditions. Proof of that came to my eldest sister, Teri, who was blessed with a visit from my mother. Here’s her email:

    I saw Mom is a dream last night. She was in black and white, and looked like she did in the 60s.  Her hair was short and light brown.  She was so beautiful and full of grace, it took my breath away.  She “said” (I use quotes because she didn’t actually open her mouth and talk.  I just knew what she meant), “ I love you.   You girls have done everything you could.  It’s time for me to go.  I’m ready to go.  I want to go.  Please let me go.”  

    With a mischievous look, she said,  ”Don’t worry, I’ll take care of your father.”

    Behind her, a yellow light–like a halo or aura–grew brighter and brighter until it overcame her image, and she was gone. I woke up in a sweat, my heart racing at around 5 am and wasn’t able to go back to sleep.
     
    What a beautiful gift.
    Now, let’s see what our boy has to share.
    Me: Let’s talk more about people in comas and those with Alzheimers. You said that their souls can already leave their bodies while they live on for a longer time, but how does that work for the mentally challenged? This is a question from a blog member. What lessons are we and they meant to learn. So, I guess what she’s asking is how does the connection and interplay work in the mentally challenged as compared to the non-mentally challenged? Is it the same?

    Erik laughs.

    Erik: It’s going to be different in every case, so this is going to be blanket statement. Alzheimers, dementia, mental illness—

    Jamie: Um, alright, but he’s separating the mental illness not as bipolar or schizophrenia. He’s talking about mentally challenged.

    Me: Okay. Like lower I.Q.s for example.

    Jamie: Yes, from the beginning on. What are they meant to teach us?

    Me: Well, first of all, I think she wonders whether their soul, their consciousness is totally in or in sync with their brains.

    Erik: Their consciousness is fully there. It’s fully trapped in the body. That’s part of the lesson—simplicity, humility, learning to accept help, gratitude, humility from others. But when we see them in old age or when they’re about to pass over, a lot of times the Alzheimers or dementia gets to a place where it’s really, really heavy so that it almost looks like they’re in a coma. They just kinda go blank And in those moments, we’re letting the soul leave the body, and they’re allowing the soul to leave the body. But we can talk to them and help them, and death doesn’t always have to be a difficult thing. We mend their energy, and once we start doing this, they find it harder to keep coming back into the body that’s so limiting. And this is what helps them pass over. In those moments when they’re outside of their body, being healed or taking a break from their dementia or mental challenges in their old age, they can be communicated to by psychics or mediums. They can come into dreams. They can say goodbye or make amends. It’s really a beautiful thing.

    Me: I’m sure it can be. Is it useful, when you work with the mentally challenged, to learn how to channel their guides or their own souls to learn better about their special needs and how to take care of them? That’s her last question.

    Erik (with a crunched up face): Hell, yeah!

    Me: I would think so!

    Erik: It’s good for everybody across the board! Even parents of those “normal” kids

    Me: Okay. I guess we’ll end off the session here. Wow, Erik. You were amazing today. You’ve grown so much. I love you infinity to the power of infinity.

    Erik: I love you too, Mom. I’ll be seeing you later for a visit.

    Me: I sure hope so, Baby. 

    I sure do miss you guys. I’ll be back to posting soon. Promise,

  • April19th

    20 Comments

    Because Erik was plagued by a host of “mental illnesses” while here on the earthly plane, he has so much to say about them. Some are not disorders at all, but rather society’s warped perspective of an individuals ability to connect with Source or absorb the energy of others around them. Let’s see what he has to say about these two diseases.

    Me (talking rapidly): What’s behind Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder? I’m talking about from a spiritual perspective.

    Erik (talking slowly): Hi, Mom. I love you!

    Me: Aw! Hi Baby! I love you, too. I said hello at the start of the session, so I hope you heard!

    Jamie: He’s just kind of slowing it to his pace, I guess.

    Me: Oh! Okay. I guess I was speaking at warp speed!

    Erik: Okay, if we’re just looking at it from a spiritual standpoint, it’s—

    Jamie (to Erik): Okay; now it’s your turn to slow down. Back up; back up.

     (Pause)

    Jamie: He’s showing me an image of someone who’s at the beach but is unable to get out into the water.

    Me: Oh, so that’s like not being able to get back into the body?

    Erik: Well, it’s being able to call yourself human but not really being able to experience it at all. Chemically, it can be created, kinda like tears in the brain, tears in the fibers that keep order or consistency within the brain.

    Me: Are you talking about energy fibers or actual physical fibers?

    Erik: Actual physical ones. It reroutes energy so no matter how hard you struggle to keep one voice or personality in your head, it will always just flake apart.

    Me: So, you dissociate from the body, but what about the multiple personality component?

    Erik: That’s just fucked up. It’s really hard. What happens—I’m just speaking energetically—when—

    Jamie (to Erik): Is that for everybody? (Pause) How do you describe that?

    (Pause)

    Erik: Some people are so disassociated from their body that they’re capable of latching on to full-on entities. So, other entities will invite themselves to come in and share.

    Me: Oh, that makes sense!

    Erik: Yeah, and in a way, it’s like channeling—having a timeshare in the body.

    Jamie: Oh god, Erik!

    Me (laughing): Oh, how funny!

    Erik: The body’s boundaries and energy defenses are so weak that you can’t just set it up to say no. It has to be under heavy guidance. But that’s just with some. In general, with most of them it’s a kid’s imagination gone wild where they actually create a change in their own voice and personality, because they don’t feel safe having and experiencing their own. It’s the same way how some people will act shy until they have a drink in them. The drink is the excuse.

    Me: Interesting! Okay, now Erik, of course you know you had bipolar disorder. Can you tell me the spiritual basis of the highs and lows of that disease?

    Erik: Well, the manic spells were fucking awesome. That’s when you’re most connected to Source. It’s like you’re more aware of that connection, too, even if only on a subconscious soul level. When that happens, when that connection is wide open and rooted, you’re more euphoric and creative. All I can say is, looking back, it’s really a spiritual experience.

    Me: What about the lows?

    Erik: Well get this. You’ve been connected to Source like that for a week, a month. Then you disconnect. That feels fucking terrible, so of course you get depressed. It’s like being a kid in a toy store or a candy store where he can get anything he want, then he gets yanked out and put in a Turkish prison.

    Me: Oh, that does sound miserable.

    Erik: But being able to connect to Source is something a lot of people can’t or don’t know how to do so it’s more common in spirits who are more evolved.

    Me: You da man, Erik. I get that you’re very evolved and getting so more and more. Still, the disease was your undoing.

    Erik: Well, first of all, I don’t think it’s a disease. How could being connected to Source be a disease? It’s just pulling away that sucks. So, I’d say it’s a disease only in the framework of society. Society doesn’t know what to do with people who connect with spirit, so they stuff ‘em full of pills.

    Me: Yeah, they really didn’t always work for you. I wish they had.

    Erik: Think of it this way, Mom. I’m connected to Source all the time. I’m euphoric 24/7.

    Me: I’m glad, Baby. Now is that the case in all people with Bipolar Disorder?

    Erik: I’ll say it’s the case in most of them. Not all, but most. 

    There are some folks who, when manic, actually become aggressive and angry. Robert explained why, but of course I completely forgot what he had to say. Robert?

  • March7th

    37 Comments

    Just a note: I don’t necessarily condone or encourage what Erik says here! I recently discovered that Erik suffered from auditory hallucinations, and this disturbed him greatly because he thought he was going insane. Now that I know what I do, I’m wondering if he was actually receiving channeled information. He didn’t say as much, but as Jamie constantly reminds him, he’s not omniscient!

    How many people are medicated because of this? In fact, I’m certain the psych wards are littered with “patients” with both auditory and visual hallucinations like seeing and hearing deceased loved ones or guides. How tragic. Do you think they can find a looney bin big enough for all of us? Remember: Paranormal is the new normal.

    Channeling Session:

    Me: Psychedelics like D.M.T. and mushrooms—what effect do they have spiritually. So they just disconnect the soul from the body? I mean, what happens? Why do people get so out of body and have these spiritual experiences? Are they just hallucinations?

    Erik: No! Hallucinations—that’s when—

    Erik (laughing and rapping his head): Man, I’m preaching to the choir, aren’t I? Mom, you know as well as I do that hallucinations are a reality-based misconception. So, you’re looking at a tree, and the tree starts talking to you. Then it starts to bend and warp and melt. That’s hallucinations.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: But these psychedelics are allowing the mind to let go of how they define their own life and how they define the capability of the tree. The tree doesn’t melt. The tree becomes more luminous, and you bond with the tree, and you become one with the tree, and you feel what the tree is going through. You make that connection. Now THAT’S a fucking spiritual journey.

    Me: Okay, so—

    Erik: People can do it in deep meditation, but c’mon! Everybody’s fucking drowning themselves in material shit and things to do and crap that they don’t have time for that. They gotta have that outlet. I think it should be mandatory that at age 21—

    Jamie (laughing): You’re serious!

    Me: Oh, boy. I’m bracing myself already.

    Erik: Yeah! At age 21, every person has to go through psychedelic therapy, if not once, then twice, and have it spaced between three to five years apart.

    Me: Hmm!

    Erik: But they should have a trained therapist with them at all times to help you work through the spiritual enlightenment you get in the process. Think about the people that would come into this world after that!

    Me: Oh, wow! Yeah.

    Erik: It would affect our politics, our government—

    Me: Exactly! But how does it work, specifically? Does it disconnect the soul from the mind?

    Erik: Yes. 

    One last note: Many of you may have noticed that my email and comment replies have gotten pretty short. I hope this doesn’t make any feel snubbed and unloved. It’s just that I get several hundred a day–not counting the ones promising to make my penis grow by two inches.

  • March6th

    39 Comments

    Many of you expressed an interest in knowing more about Erik, including his suicide attempt several months prior to his eventual death. As hard as it is for me to re-visit the experience, perhaps the details will give clarity to the pain from which he suffered.

    In the wee hours of the morning, Erik came into our bedroom carrying a metal clipboard and wearing a broad grin on his face. He was so bubbly, not what you’d expect from someone determined to take his or her own life. I asked him whether he was okay. After all, it was around three in the morning. Excitedly, he exclaimed that he was with his ex-girlfriend, Allie, and my deceased sister, Denise. He went on to say that he could only see Denise’s head and torso, because she had not yet learned how to manifest arms and legs. I asked him what the clipboard was for, and he said that is what he uses to communicate with them. At first, I thought he was just sleepwalking, but clearly things were not right. So, I jumped out of bed, and asked again what was going on. I glanced at the clipboard and saw nothing but illegible chicken scratch. He repeated the story with even more exuberance than before. I took his pulse (not sure why) and noted that his heart was racing like that of a frightened bird. Quickly, I led him to his favorite couch, fetched my stethoscope and finished a cursory physical exam.

    “Erik, did you take anything?” I asked. Then he admitted to swallowing an entire bottle of an ADHD medication known as Provigil, then went out to sit in his pickup truck to wait for death to rescue him. He said that after a while, he was concerned that we might not find his body right away, and with the notorious heat of Houston summers, he felt this was not a good idea. He goes on to say that he was unconscious for an indeterminate amount of time before coming to that conclusion and returning to the house, clipboard in hand.

    Of course I called poison control and his psychiatrist. Both advised me to stay awake and monitor his vital signs, but they assured me he’d be okay. I asked the psychiatrist  to admit him, but she explained that this was not necessary, because now, they usually treat them in a home setting–kind of like a residential lockdown. Still, I was skeptical.

    So I lied next to him for hours, checking his pulse frequently. Every once in a while, he’d sit up and hold hands with Allie on his right and Aunt Denise on his left, telling them how much he loved them and how glad he was that they were both with him. After several hours, his heart rate was normal, and his “delirium” cleared.

    I had heard about near death experiences and, despite my inherent skepticism about such subjects, I wondered if he had actually died in his truck and returned with Allie and Denise. Surely they had guide him back to life and into my bedroom.

    The next day, Rune asked him why he tried to take his own life and Erik said, in a matter of fact tone, “Because I don’t want to be here.” Rune replied, telling him to look at what he has in his life: all the creature comforts and family and friends who loved him deeply. He agreed, if only to appease his father.

    Like many Lightworkers and Indigos, Erik never felt like he belonged here, and no amount of love and camaraderie could overcome his profound sense of loneliness. For us, perhaps it was a preparation for things to come, in spite of his weekly visits to his therapist and his psychiatrist. It also was the first real dent in my shell of skepticism.

    I would edit this, but I wince at the thought of reliving the experience one more time. It’s probably littered with spelling and grammar errors.

    Here’s a photo of Erik and his beloved truck:

    In tribute to Erik, I’d like to post about what our precious Erik has meant to each of you. If you can email me those thoughts, I’ll compose it into an entry. I’ll keep the names anonymous unless you say otherwise.

    Much love to all.

     

  • October31st

    36 Comments

    I hope everyone had a wonderful and restful weekend and is prepared for a week of Channeling Erik insight, camaraderie and inspiration. I’m very excited to announce that Erik was finally able to find Steve Jobs Friday, despite his recent passing. You’ll notice that Job’s ability to focus his communication clearly and control his choice of channels hasn’t yet been refined, but he’s certainly more oriented than he was in the week or two following his death.

    A bit of sad news as well. I’ve kept this all a secret until now, but last summer a very famous TV producer contacted me hoping to turn Erik’s story into a one hour weekly drama, truth based on fiction. Out of deep respect and admiration for her, I don’t want to share her identity, but you’d all recognize the many award-winning shows she and her partner have produced through OWN, LIfetime, Michael Gordon Productions and now Sony. Since our first meeting in Hollywood, she’s been looking for an experienced writer. We were excited to find one fairly quickly only to have our hopes deflated when he found out he had a contractual obligation with HBO he couldn’t get out of. So the search for a writer continued.

    Friday, she finally gave up. She said the writers didn’t want to take on the story partly because of the subject matter, both woo woo and dark, but also because they couldn’t believe in the reality of the story. Naturally that hit me pretty hard. These last few months my spirits have been buoyed by the prospects that my son’s death just might have some grander purpose, some meaning. For a few hours my heart fell to a very dark place, followed on its heels by my thoughts: What if this is all a mass delusion? Maybe the scientists are wrong. Maybe all that’s happened to us are figments of our imagination. Maybe Erik truly is gone forever. But reflecting on the pranks, the materializations, the visits, the phone call, how can I have doubts? And what about the near death experiences? What about the findings at Scole? What about all those discoveries being made by theoretical physicists about the afterlife and multiple dimensions? What about all the evidence for reincarnation? In the end, I’ve decided that not believing leaves more questions unanswered than believing. Still, I started this journey as a skeptic and the freshness of my wounds are often no match for bitter disappointments.

    It’s amazing that the YouTube videos about the scientific and rationalistic proof of the afterlife were actually in queue for today. Given that, I found it quite comforting. I hope you do. But it won’t help you if you don’t watch them. (That last sentence is coming directly from Erik.)

    And now I present Mr. Steve Jobs, a sharp contrast to our last celebrity, funny man Chris Farley:

    Young Steve Jobs

    Me: Who do you want to do next, Baby? Let’s do a short one since we don’t have a huge chunk of time left.

    Erik: Oh, you mean like height-wise?

    Jamie (laughing): Erik!

    Me: Okay. We could do that, Mister Smart Ass!

    Erik: You call it.

    Me: Okay, what about Steve Jobs? I know he’s known to be short in the temper department, but, is it still too soon?

    Erik: Nah, I’ll go get him.

    Me: Yeah, see if he’s ready!

    Jamie (to Erik): What?!

    Me: Hmm?

    Jamie (whispering): Erik thinks he’s an asshole.

    Me: Really? I’ve heard he doesn’t mince words, but—

    Jamie: I didn’t know that about him. I thought he was—oh, here, here he is.

    Me: Oh, okay. Hi Mr. Jobs, how are you?

    Steve: Hello.

    Me: You’re sorely missed by Apple fans the world over, especially me. I’ve had nothing but Apple products for the last 25-26 years. In fact, my mom has one of the first models signed on the inside by your buddy, Wozniak.

    Jamie: Really?

    Me: Yeah. A whole family of Apple nuts.(Hm, sounds like a great name for a cereal.)

    Jamie: Okay, I sound WAY more happier than he does as I channel him. He’s kind of plain faced. He’s wearing a black t-shirt; he’s got jeans on, and he says, “Thank you so much.”

    Me: How are you doing, Steve? Have you acclimatized to the afterlife yet? Are you feeling oriented?

    Steve: I don’t think I’ll ever be oriented.

    Me: Okay.

    (Awkward silence as I wait for more, to no avail)

    Me: What beliefs did you have about the afterlife before you crossed over, and did they change at all after your death?

    (Long pause)

    Jamie: Um, it’s kind of weird. Erik is basically telling me what Steve is saying.

    Me: Maybe he hasn’t gotten used to communicating directly from that side yet.

    Jamie: Ah, that might be right, actually. So what I’m hearing is through Erik in front of me and Steve is kind of off to my left.

    Me: Okay.

    Jamie: And you asked about his perception?

    Me: Yeah, what his beliefs were about death and the afterlife and whether they changed once he crossed over.

    Jamie: Um, apparently they changed almost every day when he was alive, where he’s believe in something grand, you know, this spiritual enlightenment. Uh, he’s talking about looking into Ashrams and in India, said he stayed there for a long time and just searched, just kind of took on the whole culture. He took on—

    Jamie listens to Erik.

    Jamie: What, what like drugs?

    Erik: Yeah, psychedelic drugs to search his inner soul, to cleanse himself. It’s like he could never be his best or know himself totally until he was turned inside out.

    Me: Ah!

    Erik: And in the process, he says, “People want to know why I’m short? Why I’m to the point? It’s because when I was turned inside out, I pretty much found out that—“

    Jamie (surprised): What?!

    (Long pause as Jamie gets clarification)

    Jamie: Oh! Being curt was better for him than being polite—Erik is translating here—because politeness can be misconstrued as him being nice like he’s trying to do something or give something more.

    Erik: Yeah and he wanted people to know exactly who he was.

    Me: That’s good. Black or white, just like the iPhone. So, what was your transition like for you, Steve? Oh wait, first tell me if your beliefs changed after you died.

    Steve (finally speaking directly through Jamie): Ah, it was a very long and painful death.

    Jamie: What? He’s saying that his death was so painful and with such suffering that it was almost pleasurable to go through this hardship so that he would know what that felt like. 

    Me: Aw.

    Jamie: He’s very much an in the moment, gotta experience it man. He couldn’t take anyone else’s viewpoint as real; he’d have to experience it himself.

    Me: Oh, I bet he was.

    Erik: Yeah, so people talking to him about God and beliefs and what to do—he couldn’t trust it. He had to experience it himself. So that’s why he went and lived in the Indian culture, why he took the psychedelics—he did that to find out who he was.

    Me: Wow, that’s so interesting, and that’s probably part of what made you such a success, too.

    Erik: I swear this guy is slightly bipolar, Mom, cuz when he’s communicating, it’s almost like he’s really firm and short, he’ll give you the answer, but if there’s something that moves him, he’s really moved.

    Me: Aw!

    Jamie: Yeah, I can see that too, Erik. It’s like his eyes water up, his posture gets soft. He goes from one extreme to the other.

    Me: Well, some of the most creative ideas have come from people who are bipolar. So, when you passed over into the afterlife, how would you describe your surroundings, and what were your first thoughts?

    Steve: Very peaceful, very quiet, very dark. There was light where I was, but surrounding me was dark. I stayed in that space for what seemed like days. I knew that I was to challenge myself, to heal myself before I was allowed to continue on.

    Me (impressed by the improvement in his ability to communicate): Okay. Then what?

    Steve: And then when I continued on, the whole space where I was lit up; I was allowed to see other people, other family members.

    Me: What were your first thoughts?

    Steve: I was happy it wasn’t commercialized.

    Jamie giggles.

    Me: What do you mean?

    Erik: He’s talking about like it is in Disneyland: the people, the fake applause, the corny music, the canned laughter—like there wasn’t this rote thing that was supposed to repeat every time someone crossed over.

    Me: Oh no! That would be awful! More like hell than heaven.

    Jamie: He was happy it wasn’t commercialized? What a first thought to have when you die!

    Me: That is too funny! So, was it your destiny to die when and how you did, Steve?

    Steve: Yes.

    (Pause)

    Pulling eyeteeth here.

    Me: Why?

    Erik: He’s saying he battled cancer before, then after a remission, it came back and changed its space. He said then he knew that he was given extra time.

    Steve: I knew it was my time to go, because I had done everything right to my body, for my body while I was living. There was no way that what I fed myself would give me any kind of disease.

    Erik (looking squarely at Steve Jobs): Well Dude, did you ever check out your attitude?

    Me: Oh!

    Jamie: Can you believe Erik just did that? Fuck! Oh my god, I said the f-word. Yes I did.

    Erik puts a hand up.

    Jamie: No, I’m not going to high five you, Erik. Oh my god. Erik, you’re such a bad influence on me.

    We all laugh.

    Me: So what did Steve answer to that?

    Jamie: His tone of voice actually does not change.

    Steve: Well, Erik, I think you have the understanding that I did not. 

    Of course he would have checked out his attitude! This, a man who never left a stone unturned?

     

  • October6th

    7 Comments

    Please be sure to read my eldest daughter’s poignant entry in her world-renown blog, PrettyShinySparkly. Although her blog usually covers all things light and beautiful, today’s was all about her heartrending experience two years ago.

    http://t.co/vSavrHEQ

    Be sure to read the comments too.

    Kristina and Erik in Norway

    Kristina and Erik in Alaska

  • September21st

    48 Comments

    Ah, today is bittersweet. This, the day of Erik’s birth, conjures up joyful memories as well as a deep sense of loss. What do I give a boy who has given his life for us? What gift could possibly do justice to a young man who loved and still loves so deeply? He is not here to lavish with birthday kisses and hugs, not even birthday spankings (which many of you might agree the little prankster deserves from time to time.)

    Do I say, ‘Rest in Peace, My Love?’ We who are familiar with Erik know that resting is not in the realm of “Erik behavior.”  Maybe there just aren’t any words. But for all of the insight, the wisdom, the sacrifice, the love, the friendship, and the companionship he has shared with this wonderful family, I don’t know what more I can do except light a candle for him and continue to love him with all of my heart and soul. Happy birthday, Pumpkin.

    Please enjoy this video of Erik’s first day on Earth, and make note of his very first little prank!

    Soulful

    By the way, I just received this message from Erik through Jason:

    “I’ve had lots of birthdays, Lots of memories. Lots of lives, But, Any memory totally fails when compared to what I feel from you right now. Your love is way better than any thing I’ve ever experienced.”

  • May13th

    48 Comments

    To lose a loved one is pure agony. When you lose a child, your grief is compounded exponentially. When you lose that child to suicide, your grief is multiplied to unbearable levels. When that suicide is violent, you become a POW in a private war, tortured mercilessly day after day. In my desire to show solidarity to those who grieve, know I understand how drastically life changes for you and how you feel nothing will every be the same as “before.”

    After Erik’s death, friends, family and neighbors were there for us in ways that are immeasurably loving. But death is a very uncomfortable beast for most, so the calls and visits are long gone. Most of my days are spent drowning in a deep loneliness by no fault but my own. I have chosen to become a recluse. Arms that once reached out to others are now withdrawn for fear of drawing back bloody nubs. When I do venture out into the public, I fight to keep on a brave front, smiling, laughing at jokes, sharing casual stories, but I’m constantly aware of the fact that I’m hiding beneath a fragile façade. Behind the soft grin is that ever-present lump in my throat as I fight to choke back the tears. Behind the cheery exterior lurks a bottomless sense of profound sorrow that has become my constant companion. When I go to sleep, my last thoughts are that Erik is dead. When I wake up, my first thoughts are the same. Never, never is there a moment when I’m not acutely aware of my loss.

    I recoil at the thought of those “looks” from others, a mix of pity and horror. I watch the uncomfortable squirming, the shifting from one foot to another, the lack of eye contact, all part of that person’s desire to get away from me—the mother who has lost a child to a violent act of suicide. They don’t dare mention Erik’s name, and for me, that’s like watching him die again—day after day after day. In short, I feel like a leper living in a colony of one.

    You see, I do understand you. That’s why I share your pain as well. Were it not for you, my virtual friends, life would be impossible to bear. Each member in my loving family grieves in their own personal way, so sharing our sadness only opens up raw wounds, and I want be their source of support, not pain. So I’d like to thank you for giving me a safe place to vent the anguish I can’t share with friends and family, and know that this is a place that you can do the same.

    That’s why this email from Shelly, courtesy of Compassionate Friends, struck a deep chord in me. Share this with others if you can. Know that I am here for you, and I’m grateful you’re here for me.

    WHAT WE WISH OTHERS UNDERSTOOD ABOUT THE LOSS OF OUR CHILD

    1. I wish you would not be afraid to speak my child’s name. My child lived and was important, and I need to hear his name.

    2. If I cry or get emotional if we talk about my child, I wish you knew that it isn’t because you have hurt me; the fact that my child died has caused my tears. You have allowed me to cry, and I thank you. Crying and emotional outbursts are healing.

    3. I wish you wouldn’t “kill” my child again by removing from your home his pictures, artwork, or other remembrances.

    4. I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs. I wish you wouldn’t think that if I have a good day my grief is all over, or that if I have a bad day I need psychiatric counseling.

    5. I wish you knew that the death of a child is different from other losses and must be viewed separately. It is the ultimate tragedy, and I wish you wouldn’t compare it to your loss of a parent, a spouse, or a pet.

    6. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn’t shy away from me.

    7. I wish you knew that all of the “crazy” grief reactions that I am having are in fact very normal. Depression, anger, frustration, hopelessness, and the questioning of values and beliefs are to be expected following the death of a child.

    8. I wish you wouldn’t expect my grief to be over in six months. The first few years are going to be exceedingly traumatic for us. As with alcoholics, I will never be “cured” or a “former bereaved parent,” but will forevermore “be a recovering bereaved parent.”

    9. I wish you understood the physical reactions to grief. I may gain weight or lose weight, sleep all the time or not at all, develop a host of illnesses, and be accident prone-all of which may be related to my grief.

    10. Our child’s birthday, the anniversary of his death, and holidays are terrible times for us. I wish you could tell us that you are thinking about our child on these days, and if we get quiet and withdraw, just know that we are thinking about our child and don’t try to coerce us into being cheerful.

    11. It is normal and good that most of us re-examine our faith, values, and beliefs after losing a child. We will question things we have been taught all our lives and hopefully come to some new understanding with our God. I wish you would let me tangle with my religion without making me feel guilty.

    12. I wish you wouldn’t offer me drinks or drugs. These are just temporary crutches and the only way I can get through this grief is to experience it. I have to hurt before I can heal.

    13. I wish you understood that grief changes people. I am not the same person I was before my child died, and I never will be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to “get back to my old self,” you will stay frustrated. I am a new creature with new thoughts, dreams, aspirations, values, and beliefs. Please try to get to know the new me-maybe you’ll like me still.

    I believe that instead of sitting around and waiting for our wishes to come true, we have an obligation to tell people some of the things we have learned about our grief. We can teach these lessons with great kindness, believing that people have good intentions and want to do what is right, but just don’t know what to do with us.

    Inspired by Tracy, I’d like to add these videos of songs by Kirsty MacColl. She died young, struck by a jet ski while swimming with her son. As Tracy says, these songs sound prophetic. They’re also sweet and lighthearted, something most of us need now. When you listen, think of someone you love that has passed on.

  • May8th

    28 Comments

    Thanks to Nancy, here are some fascinating videos about the spiritual side of bipolar disease. Sometimes I wonder how much of mental illness is society’s interpretation of “normal” as well as society’s rejection and disdain.

    Bipolar Mania or Spiritual Enlightenment?

    Why Bipolar People Commit Suicide

    As a surprise Mother’s Day present for myself, I just happened to check MySpace to see if Erik had a page, and indeed he did, however scanty. Here he is sitting in the very chair and room where he took his own life, playing something on his guitar, with a broken shoulder no less. Proof positive that there is a spiritual, creative side to bipolar disease.


    me playing guitar

    Erik Medhus | Myspace Video

    By the way, I will put the ETP radio interview under the links section of the blog for all of you who weren’t able to catch it when it was aired on May 6th.

    And now I close, wishing all of you moms a Happy Mother’s Day. For many of us, today is bittersweet, punctuated by joy and sadness, but it helps to remember that death doesn’t rob us of motherhood nor does it rob of of our eternal relationship with our children. They are with us forever, because barriers melt in the wake of Love.



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