I had the coolest experience last night. I was being interviewed by a wonderful radio show called “Let’s Talk” at around 7:00 PM. (I’ll post the link to the interview in a few days.) The interview was going very smoothly and was very animated. Out of the blue Bianca, one of the hosts, says, “Oh my god, I just got goosebumps!” There really wasn’t any reason for her to have goosebumps. Nothing was said that was should have elicited that kind of response. So, I told her that this was Erik’s signature form of saying, “Hello,” or “Yes, you have this right.” (Actually it’d probably be more like, “You got this shit down, dude!”) He seems to be doing this to folks all over the world. Kind of cool. So if you guys ever have these unexplained, out of the blue goosebumps, you can be pretty sure it’s him.
I also wanted to let you know that I’ve found out more information about the Marfa Lights from Erik in our session today. Fascinating stuff. Oh, sorry. I meant “Fascinating shit.” I’ve got it in line to be transcribed and will post it as soon as I do! Most of us were let unrequited with what little information he gave us recently.
I’ll be in San Francisco 11/24 doing a book signing at the very well known bookstore, Book Passages at 4:00 PM. I’m so, so excited about the prospects of meeting you face to face! Prepare yourself for a big fat hug!
Also, I want to remind you that My Son and the Afterlife is available everywhere. Check out this Simon and Schuster LINK and you’ll find several avenues to buy a copy. Remember that all profits will go to a nonprofit organization that Jamie will create that will allow Erik and her to deliver spiritual services to those who grieve but can’t afford that kind of help: Sessions to channel their loved ones, lessons on how to communicate with them, lessons on how to handle grief, energy healing and much, much more. She hopes to provide this kind of help via the Internet as well as via regular city to city tours. Please help us by clicking HERE. These books/eBooks make great holiday presents, too, so if you want to make a difference in the lives of others, this is your opportunity!
Be sure to share your own goosebumps experience with us, too!
Today is a dreary day here in Houston. The gray darkness matches my heart as I trudge through the 4 year anniversary of Erik’s death. Sometimes I wonder why it had to be my son. Sometimes I wish I could just stop all of this and find a little peace. I ask myself time and time again: Why couldn’t he have done all this when he was 80 or 90 years old. I just can’t wait until tomorrow.
One more thing: Ever since I changed the website a bit, the Ask Erik submissions page have started working again. I have no idea why and I can’t find it anywhere. To those of you who have made submissions, I would like to apologize. I used to do these, but eventually I was swamped with requests. I pay for everything personally and refuse donations or any other outside income, so it eventually became financially impossible for me to continue. I’m so sorry. I’ll keep working on ways to disable to page.
When you guys read my book, could you give it a review (and honest one, of course). You can copy and paste them into these:
This one will ring true to all of you who have lost a love one. Erik’s pretty raw here, but he’s right. And there are ways to raise that dense energy of grief. Just think about the joyful memories with that loved one, for example. I find it very interesting how we say things like, “I’m depressed” or “I’m feeling low” or “I’m on cloud nine.” Statements like these match our vibrational frequency on that long electromagnetic spectrum where all energy vibrates at unique points: X-rays, UV rays, microwaves, radio waves, etc. We’re in the part called the “visible range.” That’s where we see things. Spirits are at a frequency above that range. That’s why we can’t see them. But when we’re sad or grief-stricken, our vibrational frequency plummets to the lower end of that range, making it so hard for our deceased loved ones to lower their energy to reach us. We need to meet them halfway. And some spirits have more trouble lowering their energy than others. Read on.
Me: Some of the blog members have read that when people are grieving it creates a lot of negative energy for the departed and this low vibration holds the spirit close to the earthly plane, making it more difficult to enter into the higher plane—
Jamie bursts out laughing!
Jamie: Oh geez! I want to imitate him so bad! He’s moaning and groaning so loud and he said, “Jesus fucking Christ!” I don’t think you want to put that in there.
Of course I will due to my no-edit policy. Sorry guys.
Erik (chuckling): Seriously? You want to attach your grief process to the punishment of your loved one? Who the fuck are you? Get in line and let me whip your back. Does that make you feel better? Cuz please, let me know what it is. Let me beat the shit out of you so you feel better. That’s ridiculous!
I can’t help but chuckle, too.
Erik: The only truth to this is that when you’re thinking of us, no matter if it’s happiness or sadness—whatever fucking emotion—we’re picking up on it. We get it. We know exactly what you’re going through, because we are involved in it whether it’s a memory from a long, long time ago or it’s our immediate passing—you’re involving us, we’re there. We feel it. Nothing you do tethers our ass to the ground. I’m sorry, but it’s not about you! You can’t dance better to make us happier in Heaven. You can’t drink less to make us happier in Heaven. You can’t put flowers on our grave to make our crossing over quicker. What we want from you is a continued relationship. I’ll just be honest, you know, most of us, we’d love to still be a part of your life. But as soon as it’s crippling or handicapping your life because you’re trying to include us too much, we don’t fucking like that shit at all.
Me: So, it’s not how it affects you; it’s about how you know it affects us?
Erik: Right, and if you’re sad and crying and grieving, it creates, around you, a denser level of energy, and so it’s harder for us to get close to you and like talk to you and tell you if we’re happy or we’re sad or what’s going on with us. It’s because you’re too stuck in your own damn hole.
Me: Mm hm.
Erik: Right? And we find that you’ll get out of it when you want to. You dug it for a reason; so don’t beat your own ass up. When you’re done and you get out of the hole and you find joy and happiness, all of a sudden you sense and feel us around more, and don’t act surprised, because that’s how it works. When you’re happy, your vibration increases, becomes more fine-tuned. It’s easier for us to connect to—give you signs, talk to you, chill out with you. But, uh, man you are NOT responsible. Mom, I am totally sorry for cutting you off. I just couldn’t stand to listen to the rest of the question.
Me: Oh, it’s okay. That totally makes sense.
The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.
As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.
Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.
I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.
“I wanna remind people when you’re happy, when you’re in a good emotional place, it’s easier for the deceased to communicate with the living. When you’re under a wall of grief or under a wall of confusion, it’s very hard for us to communicate to you.”
It’s really cool how our blogs continue to synch up.
Erik says: The thing about grief is (shows me an energetic attachment, like a string, connecting a living person and their deceased loved one). When that hotline is filled with grief and sadness and missing someone, (shows it travelling to the loved one too who shares in the misery.)
It’s like you say for people who are missing their pets (dogs and cats) – the animal knows that their (person) is sad, but doesn’t really understand why, like a little kid, it’s just confusing.
And yeah, when you need to be sad, BE FUCKING SAD. Cry your heart out because you’re meant to do that when you experience your grief.
Just remember that you gotta heal at some point, right? Whether you heal in this life, or after you die, you gotta heal that eventually. And being alive (incarnated) is so special, why wait until you’re dead, and you’ve missed all the cool shit you could’ve been doing all those years you were locked in your grief?
Grief is MEANT to pass. These emotions, (shows me a sin wave) are meant to pass, we go up and down, we get pissed off and horny and heartbroken and happy again – we’re SUPPOSED to experience all that shit, not always be in (shows me a Zen monk meditating) because he never goes outside his fucking temple!
WHY BE ALIVE if you’re going to spend your life wishing or acting like you are dead???
Don’t be a ghost! Especially not while you’re still in a body.
See, cause your friends over here, your parents and kids and brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents and little babies that never got born – they’re all over here and they want you to heal. YOU HAVE THEIR PERMISSION TO HEAL. You just gotta give it to yourself.
See, I’m dead and everybody loves me. (handsome grin! – and he’s doing this glowy thing around his head like a halo, and his hair is a bit longer than usual, like floppy ringlet curls around his head – reminds me of a Greek statue, but a 17 year old, not a grown man)
The resonance of my death (shows me ripples from a pond) is something that helps me to make sense of my life, and why I spent so many years (feeling locked up in his chest – restricted) I had to heal from my own death, and I’m still working on it. But I’m happy, and part of my happiness (shows me the glowy Erik again) is that I GET to talk through you and through others to everyone here (and shows me the book) (and shows me the ripples going outwards again.)
That’s part of my thing, and it’s sort of fucked up that I’ve found so much happiness out of (the tragedy/pain/awful fucking horror of his death) but I have to say that I HAVE found this happiness, and how could I possibly deny it now? After everything we’ve been through? How could I sit here (in heaven) and (dwell upon) (stew over?) this thing that is already done, this thing that is in the past. It’s part of (shows me the fractal flower of life) and I could just sit forever and stare at that one fucking part of it until I’m convinced that’s all in the universe that exists.
I choose not to, though. (zooms out, so far out that that spot on the flower where his death event exists is so small and obliterated by the beauty of the overall blooming pattern)
Isn’t that better? That’s where I want to be. (holds out his hand, a gesture, like come with me.)
Thank you Erik. That was beautiful.
Kate Sitka is an animal communicator and psychic medium located in Tofino BC. To learn more about her and her work, check out her website tofinopsychic.com, her personal blog psychicintraining.com and the joyful telepathy facebook group!
It’s been a long time since we’ve visited those posts where Erik talked about his own death and death in general. In this three part post, you’ll notice how different Erik is now compared to how he was then.
Grasping for contact of any sort with a lost loved one is natural. Years before, I would have considered channeling through a medium a little wacky, great fodder for jokes, even. But when Erik died, things I once doubted became urgent lifelines for me to cling to in hope. However skeptical at first, when I spoke to Erik through world-renown psychic, Kim O’Neill, I felt it was truly he. His personality, his wit, his manner of speaking, it was all Erik. Furthermore, she conveyed details she could not possibly have known such as the fact that he suffered from bipolar disease since he was 10 or 11 or the fact that he killed himself while sitting in a chair at his desk in his bedroom.
One of the first assurances Erik expressed was that we, his parents, did everything we could to prevent it. He said he had contemplated suicide for many years, really and just wanted to make certain he did it in a way that would ensure his passing. In recent months, he even researched all sorts of suicide methods on the Internet. Although he thought about taking an overdose of pills, one of his biggest fears was that he would survive, but remain impaired for the rest of his life. In the end, Erik felt shooting himself in the head assured him the biggest guarantee for “success.” Next, he had to choose a moment when he felt sure we would not be in the house when the gun went off. That opportunity would occur on October 6 during the ill-fated attempt to treat my sister, Teri, my daughters, Annika and Michelle, and my grand baby, Arleen to lunch.
Naturally, I asked him the heart-wrenching “why” of it all, and here’s what he had to say: “First, guys, I want you to know that you shouldn’t blame yourself. Dad, you’re better about that than Mom, but Mom, do not blame yourself. It is because of you that I lived to be the age that I did. It had nothing to do with school; it had nothing to do with the family; it had nothing to do with my health; I got real depressed when I was about 10 or 11. That’s when the bipolar disorder started. It would haunt me, haunt me. And it was real unpredictable; it would come and go. The lows were so terrible that I knew I wasn’t going to live to an old age. I just needed to figure out how and when to do it without killing you both with grief.” I asked him if, once he decided to take his life, he was afraid of dying and he replied, “Oh no! I was afraid of living!”
I also asked him what death was like, and he replied with great exuberance, “Oh, Mom, it was great, it was awesome; aw, it was fantastic. When my soul popped out of the body, awww! I didn’t feel any pain. One second I was sitting in my chair, and the next second my soul was out of my body and I was like, ‘this is so fucking great!’ I felt no pain or discomfort. I could fly. I felt happy; I felt joyous; I felt warm; I felt secure. That happiness, that joy was overwhelming. And I was flying around and flying around, then I looked down at my body, and I’m like ‘Oh shit. Oh shit shit shit.’ I was surprised by all the blood! I was so surprised! I wasn’t even thinking about that. I was just thinking about relief. I wasn’t even thinking about what I was going to look like! I wasn’t thinking about the clean up.” Then laughing heartily to himself, Erik announced, “Cleanup on aisle six!” Kim was a little shocked by his irreverent humor, but I assured her that this was very typical of him. This was very “Erik.”
He goes on to say, “Right after my soul popped out of my body, I heard the gunshot, and at first, I was a little confused to see my own body sitting in the chair. I thought, ‘Wait, I’m here. Why is my body down there?’ But then I realized I was a soul. I was really worried about what would happen when you found me, Mom, so I went to Bestefar’s house in Norway right away. After a while of hanging with him, though, I started to feel real, real, real sorry for what you guys were gonna find. The person I was most worried about was Michelle, because of all the people in the family, she’s the most sensitive. She’s the most vulnerable to being fucked up by something like that.” With a chuckle he added, “But don’t tell her I said that. I don’t want her to be pissed off at me. Mom, I knew you were going to be crushed, but I thought you would be able to deal with it if you knew I was going to be so much happier in spirit and that I was going to be with you. I’m with you all the time, but I’m in spirit and I’m happy. So you have a son who is with you in spirit and I’m safe and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I figured you would be able to understand that and accept it. I’m still with you. I’m with you all the time.” (All of this repetition left me with the impression that Erik was nervous about my reaction. This is exactly how he would talk if he came home after curfew or brought home a bad grade.)
I will continue to share Erik’s description of his death and his first moments in the afterlife, but this has all exhausted me. I need to rest and lick my wounds.
I’d like to dive in to where I left off in the first channeling session with Erik. As he mentioned, after he saw his body and voiced dismay at the “mess” he created and his concerns about how we would react when we found him, he escaped to Norway to visit his grandfather, Bestefar. I’ll get into the abilities of a soul later, including how they travel and manifest whatever they wish.
Once he was in Norway, he says, “I felt this magnetic pulling sensation, pulling, pulling, pulling me almost like a vacuum. And all of a sudden there I am, there I am! I started looking around and saw that Allie was there! Denise was there! Denise was right there in front.” (As mentioned early, Allie was one of Erik’s former girlfriends killed by an accidental gunshot wound to the head back in March 2009, and Denise was his aunt (my sister) who committed suicide to end years of suffering from the complications of diabetes.) Erik approached Denise, who was standing in front of the others and asked, “‘Did I go to Hell?’ She responded with a big laugh and said, ‘Because you see me?’ Then they both laughed and Denise added, ‘Erik, you idiot!’ They hugged and everyone else came up to hug him and welcome him back to Heaven. Denise told Erik she already knew what he was going to do and asked him if he could just stay for at least fifteen minutes to visit with them before he go back to check in on us.
At this point, Kim says Erik’s case is a “huge anomaly,” because under ordinary circumstances (if the word “ordinary” can ever be appropriate in this subject matter!) committing suicide before it’s your time to go is a big no-no. Souls that end their lives always have to go through some form of therapy in isolation to help them understand why they did what they did, how they forestalled their chance to work on certain issues, etc. But Erik didn’t have to go through all of these steps, meaning he is probably a higher level soul. (More about soul hierarchy later.) Instead, Erik met and mingled with his soul group, stayed for a short period of time, and then returned to Earth where he’s living with our family now.)
In the channeling session, Erik continues, “I wanted you to know I was there. Those are the orbs you saw in the pictures you took. That’s me! At first, souls materialize as balls of light and then later we can materialize in a form you can see. And that was me visiting Pappa in the dream where we were standing next to the truck. It was also me in the dream Popi (his maternal grandfather) had of me in his lap. And Mom, that dream Kelley had, that was Allie sitting next to me!”
Kim adds that Erik is very well liked and is seen as extremely charismatic to others in Heaven. She also commented that Erik is going to be very tangible in dreams. She’s amazed how he already has so much control and power over his energy despite his recent arrival. She says, “This much electrical power is astonishing!”
Next, I asked Erik if he was more comfortable in the spiritual plane than the physical plane, and he answered, “Yes, it was like having pain all the time like with a migraine or an abscess. I found some peace in Norway, but all the peace I found was fleeting. That’s why I always jumped from one thing to the next, to the next, to the next. That’s why I didn’t stick with anything long-term. The pleasure or enjoyment or stimulation it gave me was always so fleeting. I would start feeling pain again and then I’d jump to something else.”
Kim then started to get choked up and said, “I see Erik getting on his knees, his hands together as if pleading, and tears are streaming down his face. He’s begging you to forgive him for what he’s done.”
I plan to practice channeling Erik on my own. If this goes well, I will urge anyone who has lost a loved one to develop their own skill, too. Apparently, everyone has the ability to channel those on the other side, including their own guides. Maybe this will give hope to other parents who have suffered what I believe is the ultimate tragedy, losing a child. If I can establish a relationship with my son in the afterlife, so, too, can they.
I urge everyone to read about the scientific evidence for the existence of an afterlife, the survival of consciousness after death, the fact that we live many lives, and other matters I once considered the domain of quacks and charlatans. I recommend two books in particular. One is entitled “The Hidden Domain.” This deals with the quantum physics of the soul, consciousness, thought, and the “other side.” You have to digest each page slowly, because it’s pretty heavy stuff! The second book is entitled, “The Afterlife Experiments.” Here, you’ll read about experiments that are performed using strict scientific methods to establish the fact that consciousness, and therefore the soul, does survive after death and communication with departed souls is possible.
Through the medium, Kim O’Neill, Erik shared volumes of information about death, but I wanted to start by letting him know that, although I would like to channel him on my own, my grief makes it difficult to have the quiet mind necessary to hear him. Here’s his response:
“I’m just going to have to talk louder than your grief! Your grief is causing a lot of static. It’s like if we were at a water park, we’d have to talk louder to hear each other.”
‘Can you do that, Erik?’ I ask.
‘But how will I know it’s you and not a conversation I just make up in my mind?’
“Because you know me, Mom. You know the way I talk. You know my sense of humor. I’m gonna say, ‘Mom it’s me,’ and you’ll know it’s me. You’re going to be able to feel the difference between your grief, your head talk and me. And I’ll talk louder than your head talk so you’re probably gonna have to tell me to keep it down a notch CUZ I’M GOING TO BE TALKING REALLY LOUDLY! Here’s my plan for now. I’m going to be coming to you in dreams, lucid dreams. So I’m coming to you first. In the morning, you’re going to have total recall about what we talk about, usually. If you don’t, when you go to the computer and start typing. It’ll just come out.”
I ask, ‘How often can you come to me?’
“Any time I damn well please!” he says jokingly.
‘Well then, how often do you think that can be?’ I ask this because I want so desperately to have him with me all the time. It’s funny; when a person is around, you feel okay about seeing them only sporadically. It’s no big deal if they go away on a trip for a week or two and hang out with friends more than home, but when they die, they become the center of your every thought and emotion. You want them to be around you, communicating constantly.
Erik goes on to say, “Well, I’d like to come every night the day before you wanna write something the next day.”
That, of course, means I will be determined to write daily. Communicating in dreams, however, is one thing, but feeling their touch is another. So I ask, ‘How can I better feel your presence?’
Erik assures me by saying, “I’ve been working on building my ability to manipulate physical matter on the earthly plane. Every time we pass away and our soul goes to heaven, we’ve gotta work on our ability to expand our electrical energy so that, if we want to, we can move material objects; we can really make our presence known in the most tangible way possible—to materialize, to touch others, and to have them feel it. That’s what I’ve been working on. So, what I’m going to do is this: I’ll come up and hug you; I’ll touch your arm and you’ll know it’s me; I’ll come up and give you a kiss on the cheek, and I’m going to rub your hair. I’m going to put my hand on top of your head and rub your hair back and forth just like I used to do. Remember how it used to piss you off when I messed up your hair like that?” (He laughs really hard for several seconds. Of course, now, I’d give anything for him to have my hair in a rat’s nest all the time.) “And when you drive you’ll hear me saying ‘Mom, go faster’ or ‘it’s yellow, you can make it; you can make it; go through the light.’”
‘Yeah, I remember what a backseat driver you were, Erik!’ I respond with a chuckle.
He laughs and says, “Yeah, it was easier to be a backseat driver with you than with Pappa, huh? You took it better than he did! And Mom, this is what you’re going to write about in a book: How parents can rise above the grief to actually be able to feel and hear and be aware of their kid around them. You’re also going to be smelling me, Mom. It’ll be the smell like I’ve been working outside, kinda like a sweaty guy smell.” Ah, how well I remember that scent. It wasn’t objectionable to me a all; it was just a sign of how much he loved working outside on cars, bikes, and his welding.
Erik continues with, “Mom, you did everything you could. The problem was I didn’t listen to you. I thought all that stuff was a bunch of bullshit, but now I know! Oh my God, if only, if only, if only. I created something that was much more stressful than it was supposed to be. Even when I had the gun in my hand, it was like should I, shouldn’t I, should I, shouldn’t I? It happened so fast that my guardian angels couldn’t do anything to stop it. They tried to get other people to call or come over, but there wasn’t enough time.”
Just before his death, his older sister, Kristina, experienced something that gives Erik’s statement credence. She says, ”I had been reading about learning disabilities and suicidality in children/teens for my behavioral science course, and I of course was thinking about him the whole time that morning. I got a strong urge to pick up my cell phone and text him ‘I love you’ for no apparent reason at all. But it was in my purse in the other room and I didn’t go get it. I feel remorseful about that.”
On the day of his death, Erik’s younger sister, Annika, and his Aunt Teri recall passing by his room as they walked down the hall to go to the lunch we had planned. In fact, their encounters occurred within ten minutes of his death. They both claimed they saw him sitting at his desk, staring ahead solemnly. Oh, how they wished they had recognized his sadness and stopped to comfort him! In retrospect, these three incidents were most assuredly his guides’ attempts to muster our help and intervention.
Yet Erik reassures us as he continues, “I know you knew it was a possibility this would eventually happen, Mom, but there was nothing you could have done beside worry and do all the stuff you did to help me. Did you know a third of parents around the world have kids who are suicidal? I know that now. You need to let other parents know that too.”
‘Could you tell me more about what it’s like to die, Erik?’ I ask.
“I literally felt no pain. I felt no pain. Mom, it’s really important to put that down because a lot of kids die in accidents like car accidents or motorcycle wrecks. Some have been murdered; some have drowned. Even if a child has died of a heart attack or cancer, the parent is always going to worry about the pain and suffering they might have had during death. But tell everyone there is no pain. My soul popped out of the body at the moment of my death. I truly felt nothing. You know, Mom, I’m going to be totally honest with you about everything. I felt this shocking, this immediate sense of peacefulness, happiness, euphoria. It was stunning. I felt like I was floating, like I was levitating. After my soul popped out of the body, at that moment, I heard a shot. I can’t gauge the time.
“I was feeling this awesome euphoria and enjoying it and it then it was as if this invisible hand was telling me ‘look there, look down.’ So I looked down and I thought, ‘holy shit’ and I realized it was me. For a couple of seconds I wondered, ‘how can I be there and be here too?’ And then I realized, ‘Ooooh, it’s my soul! This is my soul! Then I came into this overwhelming knowing about who I really am, all of my past lives. At that moment I could understand what you were trying to help me heal from in those past lives. I got this immediate knowing and I was like, ‘Oh, oh, that’s what Mom was trying to help me with. Wow, she knew!’ I could see you for who you really are, I could see Pappa for who he really is, and Lukas, Kristina, Michelle and Annika, everybody, everybody—family, friends, everyone on the earthly plane. I could see them for who they really are. This knowing was rapturous. I know that’s a word I wouldn’t use on the earthly plane so I’ll say this so you’ll know it’s really me, ‘It was fucking rapturous!’ I all of a sudden had all this wisdom and I thought, ‘Aaawww, why didn’t I have all this when I was there?’ Then I realized I could have. I could have.
“Mom, that’s where you’re headed. You are going to feel this knowingness, this peace in this lifetime, and then you’re going to teach everybody else in the family. You’re going to feel neutral, objective about the choices other people make. It’s a lot easier being in spirit because you can see someone else’s destiny even when they make choices that change that destiny. Spirits can immediately be neutral and not judge themselves or others.”
“So of course I already told you what happened when I saw all the mess I made. I knew you were going to find me and that was not my goal. I didn’t think. Once I pulled the trigger I couldn’t change my mind. I felt this horrible sense of loss knowing what you guys were gonna feel and I had my own sense of loss, scared, real scared that you guys weren’t going to be able to pick up on me. I was real frightened about it. Then I had this tragic feeling of grief knowing you were gonna find it, Mom. I knew it. I felt this impossible to describe sense of remorse. Maybe it was even more grief than you feel, Mom, because I did it. I did it. I have no one to blame but myself. I knew I would have to have therapy because of it. So you know I went to Norway right away to see Bestefar (his grandfather), but my guide made me come back and watch when you found me. It was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced, seeing you break down in my lap, sobbing. My guide made me look at what pain I caused for you. It was unbearable.” (Here, Kim, again describes him kneeling, hands together as if begging, tears streaming down his face asking for forgiveness.)
“Then I felt this pulling, this pulling like a gravitational pull and I heard this “zinnnggg” and all of a sudden I was standing there in front of a whole bunch of other spirits and I recognized them all! There were hundreds of them. I was like ‘Oh, there’s Aunt Sophie; there’s my brother from the Middle Ages,’ I could recognize everybody from all my past lives and my brother from this lifetime.” (I had lost a baby during my 24th week of pregnancy. It was a boy. We named him, Seth. It happened around 16 years ago, so Kim could not have known Erik had a brother on the other side.)
“There was this big table where everybody was going to sit down…like a family dinner. There was a lot of music, there was a lot of laughing. Oh, and, Mom, I asked four souls from your soul group who aren’t part of your life now if they could help you through all this. I want to do something to help the family. I want to be able to do something for you guys. If there is anything at all I can do to help anyone in the family, please let me know, and I’ll do everything I can. I want to feel like I’m still part of the family. Ask me to do stuff. I can’t exactly take out the garbage but… Spiritual being can move physical objects just as well as you guys.”
‘Okay,’ I joke, ‘I’ll get a chore list together for you!’
Erik laughs, then continues, “Mom, you’re going to notice things have been done, and you’ll ask other people ‘Did you do that?’ ‘Did you do this?’ and they’ll say ‘no’ and you’ll know it was me!” I found that so comforting. Proof of his presence is crucial. I don’t want to feel like I’ve really lost my little boy forever. That would be too much to bear.
“Okay, let’s get back to what happened next,” I prod. Erik was always easily distracted, just like his mom.
“Oh yeah, right, Well, I was at this big long table, and I felt dazed. I was still euphoric, but I was dazed. It’s like one minute I was in my physical body and the next minute I was a free spirit without physical limitations, and I kept asking, ‘I’m really a spirit, right? I mean, I don’t get to go back to that lifetime; I’ve let that lifetime go?’ Then I started “the review.” Nobody did the review but me. I was sitting at the table. Uh, I was sitting there and everyone was talking about how happy they were that I’m back. No matter how we pass, we’re always welcomed back with open arms. Everyone is always thrilled to see us again. Anyway, so I’m sitting at the table, and I’ve got my elbows on the table. I’ve got my head in my hands and I’m reviewing my life. I started sobbing when I remembered being a little boy and you calling me your ‘little man’ and doing things with me and telling me what a big man I’m gonna be. I’ve taken all of that away. Those were the worst moments of the review. I want to thank Pappa for treating me like an adult. Pappa, you treated me like an adult for as long as I can remember. Thanks, Pappa; that meant a lot to me.”
“So I finished my review and I considered what I could have done that I didn’t; what I did do that I shouldn’t have. I don’t know how long the review took. I didn’t mark time. No one here marks time. But it didn’t take long, because the candles were still burning on my cake, my “welcome home” cake. Then I felt this heaviness, this real emotional heaviness. I was approached by this female soul who offered to counsel me; she offered me therapy. So I’ve been going to therapy. She’s not only helping me understand why I did it, why I took my life, but how I can go back to the earthly plane with this heaviness added to the healing I was supposed to do this lifetime without doing the same thing again. Wow, Mom, if I could have seen what I was healing from (in past lives,) no wonder I was so fucking depressed and angry. No wonder, Mom!”
“I want you to let other people know that we have lots of company here. A lot of parents who have lost kids worry that their kid is all alone, but it’s not that way. We imagine what we want to eat, and it’s right there. We live where we want; we live how we want; we don’t feel hot or cold. Thought creates reality much faster here. It happens in an instant.”
I only booked an hour with Kim, so, sadly, it was time to wrap things up. I ask him, ‘Okay, I’m running out of time, but do you have anything else you want to say about what it’s like to die?’
“Shit yeah, tons but don’t worry, I’ve written it all down. We can cover it later.”
Erik writing things down? Could it be? That might just be the biggest transformation of all! I can hear him laughing in agreement.
In this video, Erik shows his beautiful sensitive side I adore so much. Ironically, he talks about teaching his niece, Arleen, how to shoot and at the end of the video, I’m wearing the same shirt I wore when I found Erik dead. Now, it’s in the bottom drawer in my closet covered with blood. I don’t know why I can’t throw it away. I guess it’s the only physical thing I have left of him.
Yesterday was an exciting day at the Medhus household. My sister, Laura, was all alone in my house watching television when she heard someone jiggling a key to open the front door. She figured it was just one of my kids coming in to do their wash. Then she heard footsteps, but not the usual, “Hello, Aunt Laura.” She peered around the stairway to see the door wide open, none of my kids in sight. Of course, she ran outside and called her husband. When I arrived moments later, I called the police. They said the neighborhood had been plagued with burglaries of this nature recently, especially when no cars are seen in the garage or driveway, true in our case. They searched every room and outside, then told us it appeared only one room upstairs had been burglarized. It looked like a girl’s room. I reassured them that the bedroom belonged to my teenaged daughter and that she usually had clothes strewn all over the floor, so yes, if a room that appeared to be carpet-bombed was the same as one that had been burglarized, I was not surprised by their conclusion. It usually looks like Victoria secret vomited all over her room.
I spoke to Erik that day and he said that it was one man on foot. He fled because he wasn’t expecting a person to be inside the house and intended to go inside, take a few things, then leave. Apparently he used a $2.00 “bump key”. You can order these online, and it’ll get you into any house unless you have a high security lock. Needless to say, we changed our lock to one of those.
Okay, enough of that. Let’s see what Erik has to say about palatal delights in the ethers.
Me: Someone asks this question, “What is Erik saying about food in Heaven and food in the physical plane? Is food in Heaven bland? I thought if colors in Heaven are more vibrant there that the food would be tastier.”
Erik: Now, c’mon. The taste is way more incredible in Heaven, but it’s not as if we’re fixing a plate of food, and we’re cutting it up, and we’re putting it in our mouths. It’s just not the way it goes. We don’t really need meals.
Erik: So, if you want a reminiscence—
Jamie stumbles horribly over the word, so Erik teases her.
Jamie (to Erik): Just shut up.
Me: I don’t know how to say these things half the time either.
Jamie (in a sulky tone): He’s teasing me!
Erik: If you want a reminiscence of the food you had on Earth, you can create that if you’d like: macaroni and cheese, pizza, and it taste like you recall it, but we do have tastes here that are not associated with the tastes on Earth. There’s more of an electric taste.
Erik: Like, um, not really a metallic, but an electric taste, and—
Me: What do you mean?
Me (giggling): Like sticking your tongue in an electric socket or what? That doesn’t sound very tasty at all!
Erik (laughing): Yeah, the human body won’t handle that very well. No, when the flavor comes into the body, because most of what spirits do is they digest the energy that’s around them. It’s not about sitting down and eating and nurturing the body, because we don’t have a physical body. We have a spiritual one—and energetic body. We use and consume energy, and it can be done in different ways. It can be emotional energy, environmental energy, or, you know, you can pretend you’re living on Earth again and pretend to eat food to have energy.
Me: Okay. How interesting.
Erik: But the way the energy moves through the body is much like how electricity does. It has a conduit. Let’s pretend like if it touches your tongue you can feel it in your toes. The energy moves through your body, and you can feel it almost like an electrical current. It has different sensation to it.
Me: Okay. Now, this blog member goes on to ask another question. This may be early on when you didn’t know how to create tastes and sensations and textures in your mouth right after your transition, Erik. Are you saying you miss having a full gut or stomach, because the sensation of, well, almost pain from a full gut can’t be experienced there? He or she says, “I’m confused. I only ask, because I love food, especially a double-double animal style burger from In and Out!”
Jamie belly laughs.
Me: But Erik, you can create that sensation of a full stomach, right? You can create any sensation you want, even belly pain.
Erik: Hell, yeah.
Me: So, there are tastes there in Heaven just like there’s colors in Heaven that do not exist here on Earth.
Me: Okay. I’d hate to think that the food in Heaven is not as tasty as it is here! That’s what I told the blog member. I said you can create any taste you want. And with that you can add the texture, the smell, the visual, the associated emotions and memories, and you can feel it throughout your entire energetic body.
Erik: Yay, Mom. You remember me telling you that before!
Me: Oh, really? We’ve already talked about what I just said?
Erik: That taste here has many layers. Yep. And the spirit in your energy field can experience it, too. Any spirit right next to you, I mean.
Me: Without those pesky calories.
I have a quick question: Do any of you know of a good past life regressionist somewhere in or near Houston? It can be anywhere in Texas if need be.
Before we close, I’d like to share this Abraham/Hicks YouTube entitled “From Grief to Joy.” If you still mourn the loss of a loved one, it’s worth watching. I did and ordered the DVD on Amazon afterwards.This is just an excerpt.
Note: In this session, Erik needed the help of my guardian angel, Veronica.
Me: Alright, I’d like to get a little clarification on the concept of evil and demonic spirits. I’ve had some tell me there is no evil, that all is Love and all is good. So, are we dealing with semantics here? Are there evil or demonic spirits, and can they harm us?
Veronica: So just as there is light and dark, there is good and evil. This is a battle that’s been going on from the beginning. They CAN harm if one allows them in, and they have already caused harm to the earth and people.
Erik: Where do you think serial killers and other beings that do horrible things throughout history—
Me: Is it some fabrication? I mean, I thought that God is really All There Is and that the Light is all there is. Of course we need the duality, so are evil and fear-based elements sort of fabricated as a tool so that, through contrast, we can become aware of who we are and so that God can experience Herself or Himself?
Veronica: It’s hard to explain. It’s one of those things you find out when you come over here to the other side. Now, Erik’s going to speak.
Erik: From my perspective, Mom, you know that I used to watch what went on in the world and around me. My way of thinking wasn’t like everyone else’s. So I saw a lot of contradictions. A lot of them.
Me: Yes, I know. You said the same thing through Kim and Jamie.
Erik: I saw a lot of sadness, but joy too. I saw kindness and cruelty. I just couldn’t live with all that bullshit. People would be nice one day then mean the next. They’d be pleasant to my face but say such shit behind my back. I felt off-balance all the time.
Me: I know, Baby. I know.
Erik: Not from you, but—
Me: No, I know. I totally understand, Sweetie. You were so kind to everyone and it was hard for you to grasp why people could be so cruel in return. I definitely saw that conflict within you.
Veronica: Back to what you said, you’re right. You’re right in that part of it was for us to come willingly to seek out love and kindness and joy.
Me: Yeah, but you can’t see it if it’s right in front of you without contrast. I guess we have to slog through the dark forest to get to the sunlit meadow.
Erik: And to answer your original question, Mom, everything is just a gradation of good or of Light. What you call evil or demonic is just at the lower end of the spectrum.
Me: That confirms what you said through Jamie.
Erik: Yeah, I know, but I’m still learning about all this. It’s pretty deep shit.
Erik and I laugh.
Me: Are there such things as shadows—dark energies that follow someone and prevent them from succeeding?
Me: Really? Why?
Erik: I like to call them attachments. They’re ghosts, which are spirits who haven’t crossed over into other dimensions. They remain on the earthly dimensions.
Jamie listens to Erik, and then laughs.
Jamie (to Erik): I don’t know if we can use that one.
Erik: Let’s take a fatty.
Jamie (to Erik): Use a different example.
Erik: Okay, let’s use an alcoholic. If it’s a ghost was an alcoholic while they were living and you went to a bar and you’re a good drinker, they can attach to you and enjoy that sensation. Now let’s say you’re done with being an alcoholic, but the attached entity is not. They are feeding you energy that supports you being a drunk.
Me (sarcastically): Oh, great!
Erik: You are fighting to be sober, but it’s not working. You’re in conflict.
Me: How do you get rid of them?
Erik: It’s really important that you learn how to know—is it your issue, or is it a bigger issue than yourself? Is it an attached entity?
Me: How can you find out, and how can you get rid of them if that’s the issue?
Erik: Well, if you’re not spiritually inclined yourself, then you need to go to someone who knows.
Jamie: I just wouldn’t go somewhere where you have to pay an arm and a leg and the person says, “Oh, you have to come back three times.”
Erik: Yeah, people get wrapped up in the voodoo galore crap. You got someone attached to you? All right, tell them to leave! You set boundaries. You wash yourself; you cleanse yourself; you change your line of thinking so you don’t give your power to what you considered the little voice inside your head as being enlightened, because it’s an attached entity. What? Are you asking this for the first time?
When he talks about washing and cleansing yourself, I’m sure he must be talking about energy rather than the physical body.
Me: I know. My bad.
Erik: I love you.
Me: I love you, too, you little rapscallion!
Just a reminder: This coming Thursday, Jamie and Erik are hosting the next channeling conference call for grieving parents. Jamie can only accommodate six, so sign up soon if you’d like to communicate with your beloved son or daughter. From my own personal experience, I can’t express enough how healing this can be. If you want to register for the call, click on the link below:
Elisa is in the hospital. Please have her in your thoughts and prayers. Please understand that we will not be posting until further notice. Thank you.
(Kristina; I apologize for chiming in on your post[Erik said it was OK]this is the substitute teacher)
Elisa feels enormous gratitude for what this website has become, because of ALL OF US, its readers. I do not have to ask her reaction to being kept away. (I can ask others!)
Should the substitute teacher stand in for a few more classes until Elisa returns? Please respond, in the negative and positive both, and if so inclined, with your advice, criticism and suggestions.
The style and tone of weekend posts is “different”, the appeal isn’t and can’t be the same. Of course there is polite, often silent disagreement. Please speak up!
The substitute teacher is unable to express proper appreciation for Elisa’s brave, COURAGEOUS decision to allow an unproven, untested substitute come tend to her magnificent garden. Shall the substitute water a few more flowers, trim hedges, plant a few weeds and keep the brewery producing?
Today, I’d like to devote this entry to my beautiful son. I’m so proud of you, Erik. In three years, you’ve accomplished so much to make the world a better place. You’ve brought wisdom and love to us all. I’m so grateful to call you my son. I wish you were here for me to give you a great big birthday hug. But you’re not.
Here are some more of what the blog members have to say about you. I can feel you blushing already:
To be able to sum up in a few words what Erik has meant to me would be futile. Erik is so many wonderful things it is difficult to express in mere words. Erik has given me an outstanding glimpse into the after life and the non meaning of death. This past weekend in Austin I had a brief opportunity to meet the real Erik through Jamie. Such an outstanding young man. What insight he has and the information he has given to me and others was memorable, unforgettable, prominent, powerful, commanding, and at times breath-taking. I want to “Thank You Erik” for giving your life in service of mine. Thank you for being that beautiful prankster and fun giver you are. You are truly one of God’s great angels. Thank you for your love and support to all of us in the “Channeling Erik” family.
Erik makes me realize the depth of love a mother can have for her child. Hug.
Erik has given me hope and a sense that maybe I will see my baby girl again. If not for Erik I would be in a much darker place then where I am now. I still hope to come Across some signs from Erik. But I take comfort in knowing such an amazing young man surrounds my baby Kara. I know she is well cared for until I meet her again. I will always be so grateful for you Elisa, and your sweet sweet Erik. xox Melanie
Now, on to what Erik means to me. So hard to put into words, as we have all been in situations that make it abundantly clear that words do not adequately express what is in the heart. Erik is a beacon of hope, a much needed bathroom along a long hiking trail in the woods (hopefully this analogy makes Erik chuckle). You can complete your hike without the bathroom, but it’s oh so much better with it. He has brought a tangible reality to the other side of the veil, as his messages are always amazingly insightful, clear, and on target. His messages bring comfort and a much appreciated new way of looking at things. He feels “real”. He really understands what we are going through and really cares about each of us as well as the whole. He brings comic relief and a lightness in a way that is easy to relate to. Most of all, he feels like a pillar of strength, support, and unconditional love. He is always there and he shows up in the most unique and unexpected ways. I am in awe of his courage and his heart. He fills me with joy and hope and I cannot get enough of his insight. Since we live in a world of duality, the loss to so many in the physical world is countered by a powerful gain as a spiritual guide and cheerleader to so many from the other side. Saying I feel blessed to be a part of his love and the love of Elisa and the group just doesn’t cover it, but it’s the closest our words can come. Love M & M
Erik is the “new kid on the block” in the world of channeling.
He makes the old feel new. One of his gifts is cutting through the crap and saying how it is.
He shakes out the curtains, plumps up the cushions and opens the window to let the light in. He says look at the light, look at the sun, wake up to your life. It is meant to be fun.
With a smile on his face, he says, come in, come in, to this place. You are welcome here. This is your home. This is where you belong.
Because we’re all a part of this thing called life, existence and beyond. Even when it feels like we do not belong. It is as it is.
Erik is a dude. Of the highest order. Jemma
Re your touching Erik tribute: I am new to the community, but already through reading your blog with Erik’s insights and the comments of your members I feel connected and supported through the deep love we all share for our children. I feel the wisdom shared by Erik/CE is helping me to be more accepting of my son’s disabling condition. Its helping me let go of 5 years of guilt and anger that his injury could have been prevented by me and others. I am trying to replace that with hope that he will be able to express himself through his spirit and fulfill life purpose for his soul in spite of his physical/functional limitations. It have gained a new path on my recovery efforts. Becky
Sidharth Dugar and family:
We are little late in sending this, but here’s what me and my family have to say for dear Erik:
I started reading your blog in September 2010, I dont even remember how I came across it, and now when I look back I guess it was meant to be this way, some connection I had which compelled me to find your blog and get tuned to it forever.
Erik’s story and the way he came back to comfort you all, sounded familiar to me, as I had already been very influenced by two similar stories, that of Mrs. Nan Umrigar, how her son Karl came to her life after his death, and how he was helped by a Master, Meher Baba weritten in her book Sounds of Silence and of Mrs Khorshed Bhavnagri who lost both her sons in a car crash, and they came back to tell their strory to their parents as well as the whole world through the book called Laws of the Spirit World.
Reading about Erik only intrigued me further, more so because i am the same age as him and because I started seeing a friend in him.
The posts on your blog are not only full of knowledge, humour but also offer interesting details about the lives and after lives of the many famous ones, and most importantly comfort me many times when I am low.
Thanks to You, Erik and Jamie.
Around sometime in July last year, I got to know about Renuka from one of the blog readers on Facebook, and when I spoke to her, although am sure Erik did know me before, but i got formally introduced to him, and he asked if he could be friends with me? I cannot tell you how happy I was to know this, it was like a validation for me that yes he listens to me.
Ever since through Renuka, Erik has guided my whole family, myself and so many friends of mine.
He also got from my school friend who died sometime back, a message for his family. They were happy beyond words.
He is my Hero and I am so glad he reached out to us.
Thank you so much Ma’am to have shared ur amazing child, with all of us. I want to thank Meher Baba for allowing all this to happen with us and blessing us with so much love.
My sister’s tribute to Erik:
Erik is a friend, guide, and a philosopher. He brings light to us. From the bottom of my heart, i want to thank him, for reaching out to us when we needed him most, for cheering us up and bringing us hope… Life has changed for better. It makes me feel blessed to know we have a spirit friend, who shall always be there to help us, who understands us, who is looking after us. Am grateful to him for everything, for all that he has don’t for us. God bless him.
Before we begin this typical Erik topic, I’d like to make a few announcements:
1) I’m very excited about the response to the San Diego event. If anyone has any questions, please ask them in the comment thread or email me at email@example.com. I know one reader asked about bringing children along. I’m not sure about the answer to that, but I bet there are age restrictions. I can forward Jamie’s assistant if you all want to email me your specific situation. Another reader asked how many would be in attendance. All I really know is that Jamie can’t take more than thirty. The main thing: It’s going to be a fun and life-changing experience. That’s the adjective that everyone seems to use after these events.
2) I’m almost finished transcribing the Buddha interview. Wow, how amazing it is. As soon as we interview a religious figure from one more faith, we’ll be able to make public all the YouTubes: Jesus, Moses, Buddha, etc. Words just don’t do them justice.
3) I spoke with Jamie today about the grieving parents session. She wants to keep the groups no larger than six or seven because she feels like more time is needed for parents to communicate with their sons and daughters. It’s so intimate and emotional. She’s also considering hosting such sessions every couple of weeks if there’s enough interest. Here are some questions you might consider asking:
a) Are you happy?
b) Who was there when you passed?
c) Do you have any messages for me, your siblings, girlfriend/boyfriend, etc.?
d) Was it your destiny to dies when and how you did? If so, why?
e) Was your death painful?
f) Did we have some spiritual contract and was if completed/honored?
g) Was there anything I could have done?
h) How can I best communicate with you?
i) How can I help you?
j) Have you been trying to communicate with me? If so, how?
k) Did you like your memorial service? What did you like about it?
l) Why did you do it? (if the death was by suicide)
m) Did we share a past life that most influenced the one we had this last life?
n) Was I a good mother/father?
o) Do you have a life’s work there?
p) Who are you with? Who do you hang out with?
q) Can you describe your afterlife?
r) Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
s) What do you do for fun there?
t) When I grieve, is it sometimes because you are nearby?
I could go on and on. If I think of any other questions, I’ll let you know. If you think of questions, please feel free to make comments, because it will help those parents who grieve their loss. Now, let’s see what Erik has to say today. This came from a two-part question.
Me: Erik, your individuality is very much intact in the afterlife as is everyone we’ve interviewed. If you were to reincarnate back to the Earth as another person or individual, what happens to the current individuality? Is it replaced by your new, reincarnated identity?
Erik (in a smart ass, sugary tone): Tell the kind reader—
Jamie and I laugh hard.
Erik: Tell the kind reader—
Jamie: Oh, Erik! He’s being silly, okay? So—
Erik: —that my personality as Channeling Erik has become so big that no matter if I reincarnate or not, it won’t trump the mark of this personality that has been created.
Me: God, Erik! You sure are too big for your breeches, Mister Man! Maybe you need to be taken down a notch or two!
Jamie: That’s definitely how it sounds, how he’s coming out with it.
Erik: Think about it. We’ve had these other lifetimes, so those personalities, they’re not dead. Let’s just remember for a second –TIME IS NOT LINEAR.
Me: Right, right.
Erik: If time were linear, we truly would have an ending to what was created.
Me: Um hm.
Erik: But it’s not. Just because our souls divide as we have these lifetimes and these occurrences, right? That doesn’t mean that we are lesser than or that we’re getting smaller than our existence used to be. If I reincarnate, which has already been done, I already have future lives—if we’re looking at time as linear—and look, I’m still here.
Erik: I mean, it’s already happened! I’m still here!
Me: Are you reincarnated on Earth right now in terms of our linear existence on this plane—in our lifetime?
Erik: No, it won’t be in your lifetime.
Me: Okay, because if you were I’d try to track you down!
Erik: Punch it up!
(I have no idea what that means.)
We all laugh.
Me: When we pass over to the afterlife, are we able to interact with the souls and spirits of the various individuals we’ve been in the past?
Me: Okay. Amber wants to ask you this question, Erik: “My question for Erik would involve himself. He seems to have so very, very quickly freed himself up to do the sterling work”—I hope this doesn’t make you, you know, even more pompous than you already are! Are you pompous now, Erik, or are you still the humble Erik that I’ve always known?
Erik (laughing): No, no, no, no! I’m still humble. I just play the role of being pompous.
Me: Okay, good, good. Okay let’s see, “To do the sterling work for humanity and want to help his mom with her grief so that she can share this work with him. So, I just don’t know how it is. My dad went over two years ago and said that he was in the spirit world learning. I guess that someone like him, who didn’t believe in the afterlife, adjustment would be harder than for someone who did.” So, I guess she wants to know why you so quickly evolved to be this person doing all of this humanitarian work, and other people who have passed over haven’t evolved to that degree. I guess—
Erik: It was my purpose!
Me: Okay, so it was your purpose; other people have different purposes.
Erik: It was totally my path and my purpose, yeah. With some people, their path is a little more personal.
Erik: And with mine, it wasn’t. I didn’t want to be as quiet as when I was on Earth.
Me: Oh gosh, you were quiet.
(This is so true. While he was “alive”, Erik was so quiet, so under the radar and, well, invisible, really.)
Me: And of course there are probably countless others who are doing work on a grander scale like you, Erik.
Erik: Sure! Of course.
Me: Anything else on that?
Erik: I’m not a pompous asshole.
Me: Well that’s good to hear, Sweetie. I can’t imagine you being so, because you never ever were.
I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I sure enjoyed a day of rest Sunday. I pretty much did nothing. Not even contemplate my navel. But I have discovered one thing in my respite: Being idle is not always easy for those of us who grieve. That empty space seems to suck up the darkness, the memories we try to shake off, the wishes for what should have been. But as much as I try to run and run on my little hamster wheel to escape all of that, quietness of the mind is a necessary evil. Unless you succumb and allow the waves of darkness to wash over your heart and away, it’s only going to crash against the dam just out of reach, taunting you without mercy.
I miss Erik so, so much. Sometimes I forget that when I see him as a font of spiritual insight rather than the little boy who I nurtured and loved and taught and scolded and fed and played with. It’s hard.
I know some of you are going to take umbrage in this post, particularly if you perceive it through a lens of fear. That said, I hope you consider the events to come as a renewal, a rebirth into a new spiritual era. (That’s a lot more fun.)
Me: Okay. Here’s the last question. What should we expect to occur in the world in relationship to the Shift during the rest of this year?
Erik: Revving up? That kinda thing?
Me: Yeah. I guess so. I know a lot of people have had anxiety; there’s been an increase in suicides in teens, young adults and the elderly. So, what should we expect the rest of this year?
Erik: There’s going to be—
Jamie: I’m asking him questions, sorry.
Me: That’s okay.
Erik: There are going to be more deaths, and even people who are going to be just dense as a rock and can’t feel the Earth shifting—even they are going to have what they consider anxiety attacks, vibrations in the body, and this is the body changing it’s vibrational level. When it does that, it creates energy, and it has to extend itself—
Jamie: Is that the word?
Me: Yeah, I think that works.
Jamie: It can? Okay.
Me: Extend the energy. Yeah. Okay. Anything else on that?
Erik: What you can start seeing is also in animals, certain species completely going extinct, maybe not before the end of the year, though. We’re going to have a newer Earth. It is going to be mostly dominated by humans and less by animals than it is now. The hardship that this will create for us is that we’ll have to do a lot of tending to the Earth whereas the animals used to do it for us. That’s why I encourage people to learn about how to live green.
Me: And I guess we’ll still see these huge extremes in weather and geological events?
I want to express my pride and gratitude for the Channeling Erik family for rallying in support of our dear Lynette. I’m sure you’ll continue to keep her in your prayers, sending her the healing energy she needs. I met her in Atlanta during the first CE event, and she’s such a gentle and loving soul.
And now, here’s a question from a blog member: Where did our Erik begin?
Me: Here’s another question: Do you know how you began, Erik?
Erik: Began this journey or began this life?
Me: I’m not sure what he’s asking. I think he’s wondering if you recall how you began your entire journey as the personality known as Erik. I think that’s it. Or is there even a beginning? Since we see ourselves as linear in that we are born and then we live and ultimately we die, we assume everything has a beginning. Maybe that’s a misconception.
Erik: Oh, so like The Big Bang?
Me: I guess? The Big Erik Bang.
(Pause as Jamie listens to Erik)
Jamie (giggling): Erik! (to me) He makes a sexual joke!
Jamie: About the Big Bang.
Me: I can only imagine. The Big Gang Bang?
Jamie (grateful that I rescued her from having to repeat his words): Yes, you got it right.
Erik: That’s how life starts. If the guy wants to talk about the beginning of creation, I don’t think I’m the one for it. I just don’t know right now, but I think it’s probably safe to assume consciousness is a sentient energy that has always been. No start, no end. And that makes sense since they’re no time here.
Me: Do you think there’s an Erik that’s stuck on a lower plane that needs help?
Me: And I guess the biggest question I have is this: Does he even care about these things? I mean, when we leave this plane, do we actively pursue these questions, or do we just get thrown into the eternal present where all this stuff becomes irrelevant? I think you already answered that. You really don’t care.
Erik: Yeah. It makes no difference. By the way, I was that Erik that needed help.
On October 6, 2009, my 20-year-old son Erik, took his own life. Since that sad and tragic day, an overwhelming sense of grief and despair propelled me into a search for answers. Answers that would provide me and others with comfort and hope. Some of those answers came from the many books I bought, but many came from an unexpected source…Erik, himself. read the story »
Then, I suggest you start with the very first post. In doing so you can follow my journey just as I did, through the inexplicable, inconceivable, and yet utterly undeniable surprises that I have encountered since my son''s death.