Channeling Erik®
  • Suicide
  • September14th2015

    A blog member sent me this today, and I thought it was so powerful that it deserved its own post. I hope it helps each of us see just how precious life and the human experience is. I wish Erik had read this when he was alive.
    The Morning After I Killed Myself
    by Meggie Royer

    The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

    I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.

    The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

    The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

    The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

    The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

    The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

    The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

    Wow. On another note, I have two live shows today:

    Mind Matters with Ajayan Borys

    Airs LIVE HERE at 3:30-4:00 PM CT on KKNW alternative talk radio 1150 AM, Seattle

    Additional details HERE with Kathleen Martin

    Airs LIVE HERE 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM CT

  • August3rd2015


    When Erik describes Heaven, I react differently depending on the state of affairs in my life. If the shit’s hitting the fan, I’m like, “Sign me up. Let’s get a first class ticket for Mama E!” But when I’m loving life as I have recently, I’m more hesitant. The thought of having no contrast sounds, well, boring as hell. Let’s see what Erik has to say about it. 

    Me: Some people wonder if spirits get bored. Like [my son] Lukas said, “Ugh, I don’t think I wanna die. Heaven sounds boring!”

    Jamie laughs.

    Erik: It’s definitely not boring! There’s way more to do here than there is on Earth. I think people believe that if they don’t have conflict or chaos, that things are boring because you can only be happy for so long before something goes wrong.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Well, that’s just human training. We don’t need that shit here.

    Me: Good.


    Me: Tell me more. One thing is you don’t get that element of surprise or anticipation, “Ooo, I wonder what’s going to happen next.” Not only bad stuff, but good stuff, too.

    No surprise birthday parties and no meeting your husband at the door in a negligeé.

    Erik: Yeah, that element of surprise is dampened a little bit, but there’s still discovery. You can still come across things that are perceived as new even though you already attained that knowledge. It’s kind of like how people fall into amnesia like a pretend amnesia or fake to forget—


    Erik: Or just stopped eating bread for ten years and then had a piece of bread. It’s like a new experience.

    Me: Oh, I see. Okay.

    Erik: That’s how it is here. No matter what, we can get all the information, but at the same time, if we want to know, we can just kind of go to that spot and gather up that information and know.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: But if we don’t want it that way, we just kind of go into it without consciously wanting to receive the information beforehand, and, as you might say, we muddle our way through it.

    Me: Well, do you like it there better than you like it here?

    Erik: Is this a trick question?

    Me: Mm mm.

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: What about others? Are there spirits who prefer to be on Earth as a human?

    Erik: I haven’t come across an entity who’s been trying to get back to Earth who hasn’t had the ability to, because if you really like Earth that much, you can just go back into another body.

    Me: Okay. So there’s nobody who’s like, “Forget this Heaven stuff. I want to dive right back in. I’m ready to go. Boom! I’m going to Earth.”

    Erik: Yeah. Not so much, plus when we’re talking like that, we’re assuming that you can only be in one place at a time because you’re missing it so much that you’re not connecting to it or are there. But since time is all happening at once, all the incarnations you’ve chosen, even if you’re not focusing on one of them, you’re in other incarnations.

    Me: Okay. That makes sense. You can just focus your intent on that one. Bella, get off of my questions. She’s on my desk walking around the questions. Bella, let me see the next one. Okay, this is from a blog member. “What advice do you have for people who know they want to live for others like their family and kids but the pain of life is so great that they fantasize about the relief of death?” This is a really cheerful one. Woo hoo! Yay!

    Jamie laughs.

    Erik: Well, Mom, we gotta remember that death and dying isn’t a sad thing, but our culture has engrained in us that it is. We’ve been taught that it’s sorrowful and negative to think about. So we feel ashamed and we punish ourselves if we are more attracted to death than to life.

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: We just have to find a more compassionate way to accept this person’s needs as is. So I would say to this reader, this—

    Jamie: Blogger?

    No, that’s the person who writes the blog.

    Jamie: What are you saying, Erik? B-l-o-g dash capital E. E is for Erik. Blog-E. There we go. I knew I was missing something.

    Erik: What I would say to this blog-ee is, “Don’t ignore your feelings.” I don’t want everyone to think that I’m on one side or the other when I give this advice, so please read with an open mind and an open heart. We shouldn’t ignore what our needs are. Now, the biggest question is “Are we in a healthy place in our life where we can best identify those needs, or are we using escapism?”

    Me: Mm. Yeah.

    Erik: And so I would seek help making sure that how you’re viewing your life has meaning and accuracy for you. I would go to a life coach, therapist, whatever floats your boat, whatever makes you feel comfortable when you’re talking about these needs. And then if you’re in the boat like so, so many of us where you absolutely want to die, but you would never take your own life—you’re just not interested in that. You’re just like, “C’mon. When? When’s the end of the story? Let’s do this! Let’s get out of here.” The way to deal with this is learn astral projection. Learn transcendental meditation. Try the deprivation technique. You know, find techniques that take you to an altered state of mind to go to other dimensional states. That way, you can have that pressure relieved. Guess what? You don’t have to wait until the end of your life to have the joy where we are. You just don’t have to wait for the end.

    Me: So I guess hallucinogens like LSD might be an option, too, under the supervision of a doctor.

    Erik: Hell yeah! Look at my mommy!

    Me: I’ve learned from the best!

    Erik: It’s true. A lot of people can’t take their minds and just let go, but under supervision using hallucinogens—it’s just amazing. Stop forcing yourself to live the life you’ve already willingly disconnected from. Be responsible. Start going beyond the boundaries that you were taught had to be maintained for you to have your life and start living in a way that fulfills all of your needs.

    Me: Exactly. Start tripping.

    Erik: Start tripping! You know, maybe it requires that you move away from the city and you get into nature. Maybe you live in a nature preserve and start taking care of the animals. Maybe it’s a very unconventional life, but, guess what? It allows you to go beyond this human structure—society’s structure—and allows you to live more in an altered state of mind, which gives you joy.

    Me: That’s true.

    Erik: Reconnect your life back to your needs.

    Me: I love that! That should be a bumpersticker.

    Jamie: Yeah, it should be. Highlight that. Bold Italicized. Red font. Let’s go all the way.

    I chuckle.

    Is Heaven boring?

    Is Heaven boring?

  • July28th2015


    Wow, I sure did get a lot of positive feedback about the Chaga mushroom tea. A lot of you want to know the products I bought. Here they are: 

    Salem Botanical Chaga Tea (cup a day)

    Mushroom Science Chaga capsules (two a day)

    Maine Chaga Face and Body Cream by My Berry Organics (morning and night)

    I just ordered the extract version of the above and will apply that before I apply the cream. It received rave reviews from customers. I hear it’s great for skin cancers and other dermatological conditions. No substitute for your healthcare provider’s advice, though! 

    Enjoy the final part on Erik’s series about grief.

    Me: I had that same problem where I had to go through that day when I, you know, found out you shot yourself; I had to run upstairs to see you. I had this compulsion to talk about it and go through the details. You don’t want to go through those details with anybody! That’s tough. That’s a tough one to lay on somebody—going through all of the emotions, the pain, the sights, the sounds, the smells.

    After all, they’re very graphic and disturbing.

    Erik: If you feel your friends are not in that place where you can do that, then you need to find a therapist or you need to find a grievers’ group where you can get it outside of you. You can’t keep these things inside. They get bigger and heavier, and they do change the energetic quality in your body. That’s why it makes it difficult for us to communicate while we’re grieving or while we’re below par.

    Me: That was my next question. So many people get signs or feel the presence of the spirit [of the deceased loved one] but for some reason, those in deep grief don’t, and those are the people who need it the most.

    Jamie (laughing): He goes, (in a suspicious, inquiring tone) “Or are they?”

    Jamie: He goes like this. (She puts the tip of her index finger to the corner of her mouth, Dr. Evil style.)

    Erik: Those who are in deep grief and are not coming out of it, they’re using a sabotage technique in a way. They’re proving to themselves that we’re really dead and that there are no options. By doing that, they stay in hard grief. They stay in hard denial that there can be an opportunity for new relationship with their loved one.

    Me: Is there any, I don’t know, energetic reason why we don’t get, uh, for example, I didn’t get any signs from you, Erik, for a long time until my grief lifted a little bit. Is the energy too dense, or… Walk me though that.

    Erik: When you are in hard grief, we can leave a thousand messages for you and you’ll never be able to pick up a single one of them. That’s just what it is. They don’t translate easily through that [dense] vibrational pattern. Sometimes we can get into your subconscious because when you’re asleep, your grief lightens and we can come into a dream. If you’re asleep and your grief is lighter, then obviously that’s something you can do in your conscious life.

    Me: And realizing that, you know, we always say that we’ve “lost” somebody, but they’re really not “lost.” They just don’t have a body. They’re the same, right?

    Erik: Yes. You didn’t lose anybody. Death is a transition, and—

    Jamie: Oh, he’s going through a bunch of other words.

    Erik: Losing someone needs to be taken out [of our vocabulary.] Nobody’s lost. I didn’t lose myself. In fact, I found myself even more. We don’t “deal” with grief. Grief isn’t some negative thing.

    I beg to differ. But then Erik always insists that there is no positive and negative. Everything is just a beautiful lesson.

    Erik: It’s a process that helps you shift gears into a new understanding and a new relationship. Some people take 30 minutes to go through it; some people take 30 years. Whatever works for you. Timing isn’t the issue. “Trying.” “Trying to understand.” I call bullshit on that one, too. “Trying” means your hitting the same way, the same topic again and again and again and again and again, and it’s not working. You could be doing something different. “doing” something different not “trying” something different. And if you feel like you’re listening to all of this and you’re trying these techniques and you’re getting mad at people because they’re giving you advice and all you can think is, “I’ve done that before and it didn’t work.” “I did that before and it didn’t work.” You’re mad at the world because it’s giving you opportunity but you’re saying, “There is no hope.” The responsibility is on you. It’s totally on you, and you gotta have a come to Jesus moment when you say—in an extremely honest moment—that you’re sabotaging yourself and keeping yourself in a grief process because you “lost” somebody. You did. Then you’ll start to recognize that it wasn’t your fault that they died. It was cancer. It was an accident. It was a suicide. It was something. You didn’t pull the trigger; you didn’t run them over with the car; you didn’t give them the cancer. You have to relinquish that you were responsible and that you were only a witness. You have to recognize that you loved that person so much, but you had no power to help them to live. That’s very difficult to get over sometimes. Then you have to recognize that they didn’t leave you 100%. There are still opportunities to stay engaged with them. You have to figure out what that looks like for you within your belief system, within your religious structure or spiritual structure. A lot of times, people can’t do that for themselves. They have to rely on a community. Then you have to reach out and look at it. But if you are stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck even though you’re doing everything that everybody says, you’ve got to point the finger at yourself and ask, “Why is this serving me so well?” “Why am I staying in this place?” “Why is this good for me?”

    Me: Why do some people do that, though? In what way could it serve some people?

    Erik: Well, if you stay in grief, traditionally our culture pities you. “I’m so sorry for you. Can I bring you a meal? Can I do this for you?” People show help and pity, and sometimes, to a griever, it feels very good. What if they’re healthy after this? All that might go away. Maybe they’re 80 years old and have lost their husband, and if they stop bringing by the meals and everything, then what do they have left? They’re at home, alone.

    Me: TV dinners.

    Erik: Yes, and that’s when you gotta say, “Wait a second. That’s not really the truth. I could invite them over for dinner. I could say, “I don’t like eating alone.” I could choose to go to a restaurant. I could choose to join a group of people who do dinners out.” There are so many opportunities, but we paint ourselves into a corner, and sometimes that’s where we feel we need to stay to get what we want. Get over it!

    Jamie winces at his bluntness.

    Me: Okay. Along the same lines, I know what it feels like to lose somebody to suicide, and I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. So I was wondering, how do you help somebody who’s suicidal?

    (Long pause)

    Jamie covers the lower part of her face with her hand, then pulls at an imaginary beard like a stuffy professor.

    Jamie: He has his hand up on his face.

    Erik: Good question, Mom. Good question.

    Me: I try.

    Yes, I do have my moments.

    Erik: There are two types of suicidal people. There are the ones who shout out that they want to kill themselves. “Oh, I just wanna die. I wanna die. I don’t want to stay here.” Normally, the one who talks about it freely really isn’t interested in the actual act of suicide, but they do want whatever they’re into to be completely over. Gone. They’re really asking for help. Let’s say you put them on suicide watch. Yeah, I get that. That’s a protocol, but they really need help changing what’s in their life more than being watched so they don’t kill themselves. We need to help them reconnect to life again and [to figure out] what they want out of it, because if they keep talking about it, and they want to go but they’re not going to do the action, then there’s still something good in it for them. So let’s help them live and open up again. Then there are those who don’t ever talk about it. They don’t even mention that they’re sad. They don’t even mention that they want to go, and they leave. These are the quiet suicides where people had no idea that this was coming or that they were suffering or hurting. Because you don’t know, how can you help? You should treat everybody just the same. We’re all in the boat together, and asking people how they feel instead of what they think, that’s a life jacket right there in the middle of the ocean. We don’t give a lot of places to open up and talk about how we’re feeling. “How are you?” That’s really an emotional question, but in our culture, we’re trained to respond with—what is it, Mom?

    I fumble on this one.

    Erik: How are you?

    Me: Yeah, what are you talking about?

    Erik: “I’m fine.”

    Me: Oh yeah. I see. Knee jerk reaction.

    Erik: Yes. The knee jerk reaction. It’s not working for us. There is a lot of energy changing in the world today. The Earth’s energy is changing, and, with that, many people can’t connect to the new vibration. They can’t connect to this “Shift” if you want to call it that. So they’re just going to be checking out because [they feel like] they no longer fit. We just have to accept that this is okay. If we didn’t know they needed help and then they committed suicide, the first thing you should go to is not, “They didn’t trust me enough, or, “They didn’t rely on me enough as a mother, father, sister, best friend, family member, aunt, counselor, whoever,” but that they knew the best answer for them was this. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of guts to follow through.

    I can’t imagine what it took for Erik to pull that trigger.

    Erik: It’s not a weak man’s path. So we need to accept that since they’ve done this without our knowledge, it’s what they wanted. It’s not about us.


    Jamie: He’s up again walking and talking.

    Me: Okay. Is there anything you can tell parents who have, or anybody who’s lost a loved one—“lost!”—whose loved one has transitioned due to suicide? That’s so taboo. That’s a different kind of grief.

    Erik: Why, because it was their choice and not an accident?

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Or it was parent and child? I don’t know. You tell me.

    Me: I’m just saying that the grief from having someone transition due to suicide is different. Suicide is such a taboo thing.

    Erik: It’s extremely taboo because we look at it as, “That person really didn’t care for what they had in their life, and they just checked out. You obviously weren’t good enough for them. You didn’t teach them well enough, or they were ungrateful. They were broken.” That’s such bullshit.


    Jamie (smiling): Say that again, Erik.

    Erik: The end goal in life isn’t living to a ripe old age.


    Jamie: Please say the other part again.

    Erik: The end goal isn’t living to a ripe old age. The end goal is achieving everything that you desired to do. Some of us know what our natural out is, and suicide should be seen as a natural out. Words to whoever has handled the suicide whether it’s a parent, grandparent, another family member or even the best friend, the wife: Take great solace in knowing that in the quality of love for them, the kind of attention and love that you gave to them, they didn’t take that an translate it into the power to leave this world. That’s not the motivator. It’s not about you. Take great—

    Jamie: Say that word again? (To me) It’s weird. When he gets deep, he’s not as loud as he normally is. His voice gets lower almost like a little bit of a mumble in a way.

    Erik: Just take great solace in knowing that you got to be a part of their life and that they, the person that left, were able to know when their days were over. I don’t know what else to say because like everything else we talk about, Mom, [every case] is uniquely different.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: We can talk about suicide, but there are so many different reasons for why we come to the decision of suicide. Every single one of them is…

    Jamie: He fades off.

    Me: I think you’ve covered it very well. We can close there. Thank you, Erik. Thank you, Jamie. Very enlightening.

    And sobering.

    How Grief Works

    How Grief Works

  • June16th2015


    Some of you have reported that the form for the free giveaway rejects those living outside the U.S. I’m going to try to have the publisher to change that. For those of you who missed it, if you pre-order Erik’s new book, My Life After Death (click HERE to do so,) you can click HERE to receive a free gift: One of the recorded channeling sessions where Erik shares information for the book. Everyone is a winner in this one!

    Today is a nasty one. Tropical Storm Bill has his sights set on the Texas Gulf Coast, and the rain is coming down. This isn’t good since all of our waterways are already full. Send us some prayers. On the other hand, it is cozy. I have my little dog, Bella, on one side of me and my grand-dog, Gidget on the other, all snuggly and warm. We’re going to keep Gidget overnight because her parents (my eldest daughter and her husband) are on call at the hospital all night and day, and we don’t want Gidget to be home alone in case their house floods. 

    Me: Are there a couple of ways that someone who has lost somebody can communicate with them?

    (Long pause. Jamie seems to be following Erik around the room with her eyes.)

    Me: I know you talked about the hand game, for example. Maybe you can talk about that.


    Me: Or something else. Your choice.

    Erik: There are a whole lot of ways to communicate with us. I want to debunk—

    Jamie: Debunk? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Start over.

    Erik: Commonly after someone dies, the living person will feel them around, and they get a sensation that something’s happening, and then after a period of time, that goes away. Then the person goes, “Oh my god. I’ve lost them all over again. I don’t feel them” and then they grieve harder. Let me set the record straight. When you stop feeling them around, it’s not because they quit. Trust me, we don’t quit. We don’t look at our watch and go, “Oh, there we go. You get three weeks of us showing signs and now we’re getting out of here.”

    Jamie mimics Erik moving his two thumbs in back of him like people do when they say, Adios.”

    Jamie and I chuckle.

    Erik: That’s not it. It’s because you’ve raised your vibration, and now, if we’re doing the same thing, it’s just like feeling air rather than a gust of wind. It doesn’t get your attention as much. Though I’m going to say to you who’re watching (or reading) this, say to your loved one, “Amp it up. Make it bigger so I can understand these signs on [my new] plateau, on this level of energy, energetic messages and signs.” Now for the others, you haven’t really felt anything or you want to continue a relationship—


    Jamie: Yeeees? (She laughs) Don’t say it like what I—Do your thing.

    Erik: You have to figure out the way that you can get your information the easiest. Are you a good listener? Are you a good feeler? Are you a good seer? Pick one of those and ask your loved one to use that to give you a sign or message. Then take away the expectation. Don’t tell them how to perform in that way. Like if you’re a good feeler, don’t say, “Okay, come and mess with my hair.”

    Me: Mm hm.

    Dance monkey boy. Dance.

    Erik: They might not be good at messing with your hair, but they’re absolutely great at giving you hugs and getting your chest all tight and you feel like you’re having an anxiety attack.

    Great. How fun.

    Erik: So if you don’t put an expectation on it, they can perform better according to your needs.

    Me: I think you told us that expectation is a very dense energy just like depression is and it vibrates at a very low frequency in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. So it takes you guys a lot to lower your vibrational energy to get to us. So anyway, that’s why we use expressions like, “I feel low” or “I feel down.” It’s a very dense feeling.

    I’ve felt that for a long time after Erik died. It’s this very heavy feeling in my chest. Still have it sometimes.

    Me: So can you try to think joyful things to make it easier for you to get to them?

    Jamie covers her mouth with both hands, clearly embarrassed. What did he say? Whatever it is, she’s not going to repeat it.

    Erik: Yes, you can watch comedy. You can go have an orgasm.

    Oh, there it is.

    Erik: You can engage with things that bring you a lot of joy, and then step into the realm of meditative thought or openness, mindfulness. Then you’re going to perceive that subtle energy so much easier than what you would if you were in that down, low or dense point.

    Me: Yeah. Tell us about the hand game.

    (Long pause, then Jamie laughs.)

    Erik: It’s not the slap game.

    You know that one where you hands are on top of someone else’s and you fold them over to slap them. First one wins.

    Erik: For those who are living, you pick a hand that represents yes and you pick a hand that represents no.

    How many hands do we have?

    Erik: Keep it the same. Don’t change it. Stop changing that shit. You guys will change it and think that we know what’s going on. We are creatures of habit still.

    Jamie: He’s giggling.

    Erik: So when you have your yes and no, in the center of your hand there’s an energy center. It’s like a secondary chakra, and it’s very sensitive. We can merge; we can push our energy into the hand.

    Jamie points to her palm.

    Erik: So it will make your hand have a different sensation, hot, cold, tense, tingly. Most of the time it interferes with blood flow so you’ll feel a tingle.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: Sometimes pain, stiffness.


    Jamie: Sound like fun.

    Erik: But you’re not having a heart attack. Keep your hands separate from each other. Don’t keep them next to each other. So keep them far out,

    Jamie: If you’re going to communicate with your loved one or spirit, make sure you’re talking to them and nobody else.

    Erik: So call on them and no one else. Dismiss them from the party.

    Me: So basically it’s good for yes and no questions.

    Erik: Yes, but that’s the hard part, Mom. People will just go, “Well how are you doing?” That’s not a yes or no question.

    Me: That’s true!

    Jamie laughs hard.

    Erik: And after you get a sensation in your hand, acknowledge it so that we know to stop so you can go back to feeling normal, and you can begin the next question.

    Me: All right. Anything else on this topic?

    Erik: No. I love you and Happy Valentines Day.

    Erik has told me, in the past, that if you don’t get a sensation after a few minutes, just keep saying, “Make it stronger.”


  • June15th2015


    I have a question for you guys. What kind of reality TV show would you watch with Jamie, Erik and I in it? There are so many possibilities, so I want your input! Ponder that after you read Part Two of Three of the Suicide and Loss series. 

    Me: All right. How do you know if it was a mistake or destiny if you kill yourself?

    Erik: You know it the moment you arrive.

    Me: Okay, so I guess it could be like, “Oops” or it’s like, “All right! Made it!” How can we prevent ourselves from taking our lives? In other words, how can we get help if we have suicidal ideation? That’s kind of an obvious one—seek the help of a mental health professional, call the suicide hotline, etc. –but for example Erik, you had all these resources. You even had the cell phone number of your therapist, but you didn’t do it. You didn’t call for help. How can you, as a person, get help?

    Erik: I got years of help.

    Me: Yeah. You sure did.

    Erik: It wasn’t like, “Today I want to commit suicide so I guess I’ll go ahead and do it.” Jamie mimics his happy face.

    Me: Happy face!

    Erik: I thought about death before on several occasions and discussed it with other people, so in my case, I did the logical thing and weighed my options. I felt at peace with the idea of leaving. That was the way of death that attracted me the most. I knew this ending would create a joy, a release, and I was right.

    Me (crying a little): Yeah.

    Erik: I think for those who are thinking about suicide and they think they want to just go ahead and do it and they haven’t talked to a stranger or a therapist or a friend and heard feedback and really gotten in the community to find out what their ideas were based on or not based on, I think they’re missing out. I think that they think of suicide and choose it immediately, when they arrive, they’ll see where they missed the boat. For us, even Robin Williams who we talked to, he had decades of thinking about death and leaving. It was not some fleeting moment that he played upon. And when you read the stories of people committing suicide and they tried before or talked about it before and had issues with it before, put a smile on your face. This person found their answer and had the balls enough to give that relief to themselves. We need to stop condemning this shit. We need to start looking at it as what it is. It’s an option that doesn’t value life any less. I hope that sits heavy in your head. It doesn’t give—

    Jamie sighs and makes the talking hand gesture in a way that says Erik is talking a mile a minute.

    Jamie: He’s boiling with it. Hold on. He wants it to sit with everyone who’s watching (or reading) this that if someone chose to take their life, they didn’t value life any less than anyone else. It took more courage to step out of their lives than to stay in it.

    Me: All right, well you’re not condoning suicide are you?

    Erik: I’m accepting of suicide. I’m not condoning it because it’s not the answer for everybody, like it’s not the answer for everybody to smoke pot.

    Me: Right.

    Jamie starts to talk. I’ve clearly interrupted her.

    Me: Oh, go ahead.

    Jamie: No, he was totally off topic. Go ahead.

    Me: Yes it is and that’s typical. What do you say to people who’ve lost somebody to suicide? What do you recommend for them?

    Erik: Isn’t it true that the first words you hear are, “I’m so sorry for your loss?”

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: What does that really even mean? You’re “sorry” for the “loss.” First of all, there is no loss—okay a physical one, yeah, but you didn’t lose the person after they died. They transitioned. I don’t know why you’d be sorry for them because it’s obviously what the person really, really wanted. In away, it’s a form of achievement. Sorry I put it that way. I know I’m really going to piss people off, but I was in those shoes, so I can at least say that, right?

    Me (sadly): Yeah. No trophy on the mantle though. Please.

    Erik: No, no. This is not like a trophy thing, but for those of you who are coming across people who are living who have had a family member, partner or friend take their own lives, acknowledge them. Just say, “Oh”—and say their name and acknowledge that they’ve transitioned, but why are you apologizing? Nobody needs an apology. Nobody needs pity while you’re in a moment of grief or not understanding what has happened. Show support. Say, “I’m here if you need anything.”

    Me: There we go. That’s perfect. I didn’t like it when they say, “But you’ve got other children,” or when they say, “Just move on!”

    Jamie laughs, but I don’t know why.

    Me: I just don’t like that.

    Erik: I don’t care how a person die; it’s not about moving on and forgetting them because that’s really what they mean. It’s about reaching out and showing support like, “Hey, if you want to talk about Erik, I’d like to listen.” You know, hey, they transitioned. It’s going to be a change.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: And it’s okay to admit to someone, “I don’t know what the fuck to say. I don’t know what to say to you, but I’m here; I’m available. I can’t imagine what it feels like. Here’s my hug.”

    Me: I wish more people had done that for me.

    Erik: Yeah, where’s the support? Why do people just take grief and then dump sorrow on top of it? It’s maddening to even think about it.

    Me (crying softly): I know. I lost a lot of friends.

    Erik: Yes.

    Me; I guess they were really uncomfortable.

    Erik: Yeah, and oh, and then how great is it that, um, —

    Jamie listens and then says, “Oh, that’s said sarcastically.

    Erik: Like three months after or a year after when you want to talk about me and the person’s like (Jamie mimics a facial expression of a person being completely poleaxed like they’re trapped and want to escape.)

    Me: I know.

    Erik: They don’t know how to handle it. Relationships can carry on, even after death. (Leaning back in his chair): A whole lot of people are missing out on a while lot of love.

    Me: Yeah. That’s a shame.

  • June12th2015

    No Comments

    Is death an illusion?

    Most scientists would probably say that the concept of an afterlife is either nonsense, or at the very least unprovable.

    Yet one expert claims he has evidence to confirm an existence beyond the grave – and it lies in quantum physics.

    Professor Robert Lanza claims the theory of biocentrism teaches that death as we know it is an illusion created by our consciousness.

    ‘We think life is just the activity of carbon and an admixture of molecules – we live a while and then rot into the ground,’ said the scientist on his website.

    Lanza, from Wake Forest University School of Medicine in North Carolina, continued that as humans we believe in death because ‘we’ve been taught we die’, or more specifically, our consciousness associates life with bodies and we know that bodies die.

    His theory of biocentrism, however, explains that death may not be as terminal as we think it is.


    Biocentrism is classed as the Theory of Everything and comes from the Greek for ‘life center’.

    It is the belief that life and biology are central to reality and that life creates the universe, not the other way round.

    Lanza uses the example of the way we perceive the world around us.

    A person sees a blue sky, and is told that the color they are seeing is blue, but the cells in a person’s brain could be changed to make the sky look green or red.

    Our consciousness makes sense of the world, and can be altered to change this interpretation.

    By looking at the universe from a biocentric’s point of view, this also means space and time don’t behave in the hard and fast ways our consciousness tell us it does.

    In summary, space and time are ‘simply tools of our mind.’

    Once this theory about space and time being mental constructs is accepted, it means death and the idea of immortality exist in a world without spatial or linear boundaries.

    Theoretical physicists believe that there is infinite number of universes with different variations of people, and situations taking place, simultaneously.

    Lanza added that everything which can possibly happen is occurring at some point across these multiverses and this means death can’t exist in ‘any real sense’ either.

    Lanza, instead, said that when we die our life becomes a ‘perennial flower that returns to bloom in the multiverse.’

    ‘Bottom line: What you see could not be present without your consciousness,’ explained Lanza. ‘Our consciousness makes sense of the world.’

    By looking at the universe from a biocentric’s point of view, this also means space and time don’t behave in the hard and fast ways our consciousness tell us it does. In summary, space and time are ‘simply tools of our mind.’

    Similarly, theoretical physicists believe there is infinite number of universes with different variations of people, and situations, taking place simultaneously.


    In the experiment, when scientists watch a particle pass through two slits in a barrier, the particle behaves like a bullet and goes through one slit or the other.

    Yet if a person doesn’t watch the particle, it acts like a wave.

    This means it can go through both slits at the same time. This demonstrates that matter and energy can display characteristics of both waves and particles, and that the behavior of the particle changes based on a person’s perception and consciousness.

    Lanza added that everything which can possibly happen is occurring at some point across these multiverses and this means death can’t exist in ‘any real sense’ either.

    Lanza, instead, said that when we die our life becomes a ‘perennial flower that returns to bloom in the multiverse.’

    He continued: ‘Life is an adventure that transcends our ordinary linear way of thinking. When we die, we do so not in the random billiard-ball-matrix but in the inescapable-life-matrix.’

    Lanza cited the famous double-slit experiment to backup his claims.

    Lanza’s full theory is explained in his book Biocentrism: How Life and Consciousness are the Keys to Understanding the True Nature of the Universe.

    Have a great weekend, guys. See you Houstonians Saturday for lunch! 



  • March16th2015


    Here I am way up above the tree line in Norway where Internet access is spotty and very expensive. For that reason (plus the fact that I’m on vacation) I’m only going to post three days a week. Got to tend to the moose and trolls, after all. It’s so peaceful and pristine here. So quiet that the silence is deafening. It’s so nice to unwind in such a place far from the crazy, busy life I’m used to in my daily life. For those of you who make comments, I probably won’t have a chance to read them, nor will I be able to answer Facebook private messages and comments, so if you can refrain from leaving them (the ones directed to me) then the moose, trolls and I would very much appreciate it. 

    Me: Let’s see. Okay, I know we’ve talked a lot about what happens in the afterlife when someone commits suicide, you know, how they’re treated.

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: We also talked about how suicide is usually not someone’s destiny in that it’s not a pre-designed exit point, but that in some cases, like yours, it is. So why do some people choose suicide as part of the spiritual blueprint they create for their incarnation? I mean, so many of the blog members insist that you can’t choose suicide as part of your destiny, because it’s just not right, taking any life, including your own. But from my perspective, I think you can. Maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part, but—

    Erik: No, you’re right, Mom. You can choose that type of death, um, I mean transition, when you plan your life. How ignorant for somebody to say, “You can choose all these other kinds of deaths, but you can’t choose this one.”

    Me: Well, cut ‘em some slack, Erik, because I think there’s a lot of influence from different religions on the subject. It’s a taboo thing.

    Erik: Nope. Ignorance.

    Me: Erik! Play nice!

    Erik, Jamie and I laugh.

    Me: Or maybe I’m just being too nice, giving people the benefit of the doubt.

    Erik: You’re always nice, Mom.

    Me: Aw! You’re sweet, Erik! Okay, so can you name all the reasons, or at least some of the reasons for why someone would choose suicide as a destiny?

    Erik: Um, one could be finding inner strength.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: So that they can overcome themselves. One is to succumb to get in.

    Me: Why would that be a choice?

    Erik: It’s more of a breaking of boundaries or a breaking of structure.

    Me: Oh, okay.

    Erik: So, let’s say if you were into that heavy religious belief that suicide is taboo, it’s never the answer and you’re going to burn in hell if you do it.

    Me: Um hmm..

    Erik: That’s a rule in your life that’s binding you. So when you kill yourself to experience succumbing, you’re giving in to YOUR feelings, YOUR needs. Succumbing to YOURESELF would be breaking an external rule or structure. And that would teach others that the belief system doesn’t give room for the complete truth. Another, which is one of the most common reasons, is when people know they’re going to come into a life that is extremely powerful and demanding on themselves.

    Me: Yeah, to accelerate their spiritual growth?

    Erik: Right, and some people won’t do it unless they know they have an out. If it gets to be too much for them, they do break and feel they can’t repair themselves, then they know that they can leave.

    Me: So that’s one of the exit points they create for themselves. Like a safety valve on a pressure cooker.

    Erik: Exactly. That’s generally the most common reason for suicide as a pre-designed exit point.

    Me: Is there—of course you had such a great life, apart from your mental illness, so what was your reason?

    Erik: Mine was to get out of my head, and I set myself up to have a very hard life, mentally, so that I could be better prepared to do the job I’m doing now. Just like you, Mom. You’ve had a really hard life, lot’s of drama and tragedy. That’s so you could have the understanding and compassion a healer and teacher needs to be effective. I needed to develop that compassion also so I could guide and help others from this side of the veil. It’s what I was meant to do.

    Me: Are there any reasons someone might commit suicide to teach lessons to others?

    Jamie listens for awhile, then starts chuckling.

    Erik: First, it’s not like we’re wanting to be vindictive or “in your face,” but a lot of times, suicide is that final, “Fuck you.”

    Me: Uh huh.

    Erik: That, “Look what you’ve made me do!” We covered that part about you’re fully in control of your own actions so that’s all bullshit. To give away your power, you know, to say somebody made you do it is because that person isn’t strong enough and doesn’t want to take responsibility.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: So, it’s a huge “in your face” action, because it shows that the person needed such help but wasn’t able to express it. And so the people around you perk up. Often, they take on new positions in life. If they don’t fall apart from the suicide of their friend or family member, they take on new parts. Look at you, for example, Mom—able to help thousands of other people.

    Me: Okay, so yeah, it can be a catalyst, a positive catalyst for other people, then?

    Erik: Yes, but most people see it negatively, because of what they were taught about suicide when they came into this world. It’s bogus. Totally bogus.

    Me: Okay, so anything else?

    Erik: Oh, yeah. Some try to teach others about loss, some about the sanctity of life and the human experience.

    Me: So can they learn about the sanctity of the human experience themselves, like they kill themselves, then they get over there and think, “Oh my god, I just wasted an opportunity!” Do they ever design it for that?

    Erik: Uh, yeah. There are tons of regrets where when they were alive they couldn’t see five feet in diameter around them, but then with their death, they can see a lot more, and they realized how they shortchanged themselves.

    Me: Yeah, exactly.

    Erik: And yes, doing that, then there’s work to be done, because there were people’s lives that they were supposed to be involved with that they were supposed to affect. So they have to do all that work in spirit that they would have done if they remained alive. All that, the regrets and missed opportunities—that’s to teach the soul how important the human experience is to spiritual progress, not only for them, but others too. It’s a lot harder to get the work done over here in spirit.

    Me: Okay, now, at first, you said your death wasn’t your destiny, and lately you’ve said it was. I always felt like it was. I could never imagine you as an old man with grandkids and stuff.

    Erik: I was totally disoriented when I first got here, Mom. Mostly, I just felt (pause), it’s odd. It’s peaceful and I knew I did the right thing, but then I felt horrible watching the people I love, and to speak up and tell them that, yeah, this was the right thing for me to do—that’s just another stab right into their hearts.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: And a lot of people can’t accept that. You know, “How could your son, who you loved so much, and you believed they loved you do that to you?” And that’s an egocentric way of thinking about it. You’d be thinking just about yourself instead of the other person’s position, but again, that’s what our structure gives to us on planet earth.

    Me: Yep, exactly. So you were disoriented; you thought it wasn’t your destiny, you thought you just kind of messed up, because you saw us grieving so much? Then you all of a sudden remembered it was your destiny, because you were supposed to be doing all this—what you’re doing now?

    Jamie: He said this and you said this at the same time!

    Me: Ha! How cool. I guess great minds think alike!

    Erik chuckles.


    Selfie in the Tundra

    Lukas, Annika and I in Norway

    Lukas, Annika and I in Norway


  • October17th2014


    Hey all,

    I was contacted by a producer of a reality show who is considering using an “Erik story” for an episode. Of course this is a long shot, but I would love it if you can share a time when Erik may have literally prevented you from committing suicide and whether you’d be willing to share that story on the show. If you do, please email it to me at


  • August26th2014


    This repost is about respite. A break from the grief of losing someone we love. A break from being mired in daily struggle. A break from being human. This is the first time Erik spoke to me without the need of a question prompt. He spoke with solemn passion. How timely.

    Erik: You know, Mom, before you ask me a question, I want to talk to you about people who want to take their own life. In some cases, the stress, the grief, whatever builds up, it’s like a volcano. Only so much can build before it has to release. The lesson in each case is that there is perfection in imperfection.

    Me: Mm hm.

    (Long pause)

    Jamie: He’s pausing. Erik, I can see that.

    Me: What? Is he picking his nose?

    Jamie (sounding touched): No. His eyes are tearing up.

    Me: Oh, Sweetie. It’s okay.

    Jamie: He’s just kind of readjusting his gestures and how he’s sitting so that he’s really not squared off with me; we’re not looking at each other face to face.


    Jamie (to Erik): But, you know, I can see that you’re adjusting. I can see. I can see.

    Erik: Well, it’s hard …


    Jamie (to Erik, in a warm, motherly tone): Take a deep breath. You don’t always have to be the fast talker.

    Me: Yeah, Sweetie. Take your time.

    Jamie (with a soft chuckle): I don’t mind a pause.

    Erik: It just throws me right back into my human state of mind—right back into my body—and I haven’t shaken hands with those demons in a long time.

    Me: Yeah, I know.

    Erik: And I’m happy not to shake hands with them anymore, but when you’re human, you think you have the power to override them—the internal thoughts, those crazy horses in your head that just run with ideas and thoughts that actually hold no truth. But because the thoughts are so heavy, they feel incredibly real, and we start to validate them as real and they’re not. It’s within this slice of anxiety, madness, grief, this really imbalanced state of mind and heart—that’s the imperfection that makes us perfect.

    Me: Not sure if I understand, but…

    Erik: In so many people who want to take their life, it’s just about getting out of the body, not an act or a willingness to die. It might be nice, ya know? First hand, I kinda know that experience.

    Me (solemnly): Yeah.

    Erik: A lot of times those people might be worried that they couldn’t do everything they wanted or needed to do, desired to. But then right before, they get this peace and calm, knowing that everything is going to be all right. All of a sudden, they know it’s all going to be okay. Really at that moment, they already left the body.

    Me: Oh!

    Erik: A lot of people I see that are headed toward the answers, committing suicide, attempting suicide, ending their life, they just need out of their body just for a certain moment. A lot of times they do that before they get a chance to follow through, and then they back down.

    Me: They just need a rest. A rest from being human.

    Erik: Yeah. And when people struggle to that point, like I said, many times it’s about the perfection of imperfection.

    Me: What do you mean by that? I just don’t understand.


    Erik: Our perfectness is composed of a huge percentage of things that just aren’t’ right.

    Jamie (giggling): He kind of puts that in air quotes.

    Erik: I know there’s no right or wrong—there just “is”, but as humans, the brain has a hell of a hard time relaxing in that state of mind. It’s almost like we enjoy struggle more than we enjoy peace. And all of humanity has to learn this lesson for us to achieve it—to make it a natural state of being. Peace. That’s what our generations to come might experience, but for now, we’re still in a natural state of being in struggle. Our natural state of being as a human is based on being in a constant struggle. Even when you’re calm, you’re thinking, “How long is this going to last?” “When I get out of this, then I have to face that shit, and then I have to manage that crap over there.” You know, it’s still all fucked up, but you’re going to have these pockets of peace. We’re getting through all of this as humanity. Everyone has to learn to turn the dial on the emotional, mental, spiritual level from chaos and struggle to peace and calm. Until we do that, you know, we’re all attached to each other—we’re all antennas. And we can get those incredibly enlightened people, loving people, people who are aware, and their antenna inside their body just starts to pick up all the struggle and the chaos. And they don’t want it. Just like you, Mom. And some of those people just want a break from being human. But this whole media, vulnerability, kind of openness that you and I have gone through—it was done in a way to save other people but not you. And I know you’ll come soon enough and see how you can save yourself. And how you do that will not stop the openness, the storytelling, because we—

    Jamie (to Erik): Who’s we? (To me) You and him.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: We cannot even count how many people we’ve touched nor how many people that we have taught. So, now that they’re more knowledgeable and can heal through their grief and not leave this world as it’s changing—that absolutely is extremely valuable and extremely important, but never, ever more important than you. I hope knowing that helps.

    Me: Aw. I love you, Erik.

    Erik: I love you more.

    Taking a Break from Being Human - Channeling Erik

  • August14th2014


    Since Robin William’s death, a lot of people have been wondering about why he made the decision he did. Personally, I think a lot of comedians, including Robin, Richard Jeni and others, have their dark side, and feeling lost and sad compels them to balance their lives with humor. Let’s revisit the suicide issue again.

    Me: Erik, some of my readers who write in say they’re so depressed that they want to commit suicide. I’m not sure how to handle this. After all, they read your description of how your death was so painless and how the afterlife is so beautiful, what’s to keep them from taking the leap like you did?

    Erik: I dunno. It’s fuckin great over here. It’s an individual choice. You know how we all choose when and how we return to the earthly plane? It’s the same thing with returning to the spiritual plane. Do you do what I did and get here earlier, or do you let your destinies play out and get here when you’re meant to? It’s always better for us to stay on the earthly plane and fulfill our destiny, because our life has a ripple effect on so many others. Without us, other people are not going to be able to do what they’re supposed to do.

    I can certainly vouch for the ripple effect Erik’s suicide has had. It has all but destroyed me. I have a deep dark hole in my heart that can never be filled. Everyone who knew him and loved him has suffered phenomenally too. Has it stopped me from fulfilling my destiny? Possibly. Perhaps had I been left whole I could have had the confidence, the energy, the motivation and the power to help thousands of others. Perhaps I could have transformed a life, a family or a community in some positive way. As you will read about in an upcoming entry, one young suicide victim Erik channeled realizes now that his destiny to be a powerful healer has been cut short. For that reason, many will be deprived of his abilities. Without him, many will die.

    Other suicide victims Erik channels realize that their problems still haunt them in the afterlife. They may have shed their bodies but their depression, their angst, their poor self-esteems, all survive death and are, in fact, only aggravated by the remorse they have for their fateful decision. They are well aware of the grief and pain they’ve created for the loved ones they’ve left behind on the earthly plane. And with their destinies cut short, their spiritual progress has taken a huge step backwards. The therapy and work they’ll have to do in both the afterlife and in future earthly lives will be long and arduous. Hmm, not worth it.

    Erik continues…

    Erik: I’m worried that you’re taking on the weight of the world, Mom. It’s so typical of you to want to prevent or help minimize the suffering of other people. You’re so nurturing; you wanna mama everyone. Just don’t take on the weight of the world. Just say what you believe and what you’ve experienced and leave it at that.

    Kim: Can I ask Erik a question, Elisa?

    Me: Of course!

    Kim: Erik, is…Oh, he’s shaking his head no but wait, wait, let me just finish asking the question, Erik! He keeps shaking his head no and telling me I’m wasting time. (She laughs.) Erik, could…and I appreciate you saying that. Is Mom supposed to be…He’s shaking his head vigorously!

    Erik: No! Mom is supposed to be sharing information, her thoughts, her beliefs, her experiences, period, end of story. She’s not to be giving advice, Kim, because that is not part of her earthly responsibilities. You have enough responsibilities as it is. Mom, Mom, you don’t want to get yourself into a position where your guides or guardian angels think, ‘She’s bored and has got nothing to do; we’ll give her something to do!’ The blog and the books are all going to be about what you see, hear, believe, and experience. You’re also going to be doing web-isodes on YouTube where you are going to be channeling me yourself. You’re going to be doing little programs on YouTube.

    Prime Source, God Source, Life Force - Channeling Erik

  • March13th2014


    I had such a wonderful time with the family in Destin, Florida this week. The weather cooperated only one day, but that day made up for everything. Navarre Beach was delightful: powdered sugar sand, crystal clear water and not more than 6 people stretched out in the sun there. We also went to the quaint town of Seaside to spend the day. 

    th-3 \th-2





    I’d like to extend a special thanks to Kate and Jesse for manning the helm in my absence. Also, thank you, everyone, for keeping your emails and FB messages to a minimum during my down time. Enjoy today’s post! 

    Me: Can you give advice for the mentally ill and their caregiver? Actually, let’s expand that to any one with an illness and their caregiver, but if we need to do it separately, that’s okay.

    Erik: Well, if we’re talking about mental illness, there are tons of those.

    Me: Well, let’s just talk about those who are chronically ill and unable to care for themselves. How about that? I’ll simplify it for you, Erik!

    Erik: Dumb it down, Mom!

    I chuckle.

    Erik: Okay. For the caregiver, I think it would be best if every day that they wake up before they go to dedicate their day and their life to caring for that person, they say this: “Even though this person, this child, parent or maybe their career–(You gotta take care of that, too.) Even though that person cannot do for themselves, they are still honorable and respectable on the inside.” The part that sucks about becoming incapable when you were once capable or just coming in to this life incapable is that you are truly on the inside. You’re really there. You’re still processing shit. It’s normally the fucking body that becomes broken, even if it’s a mental disease. The soul is not broken though. So the soul can comprehend, communicate, reach out, see all the goodness, see all the pain, everything, but the body cannot relay it. It’s like you need a megaphone to communicate, but the megaphone is broken. You’re carrying around a broken megaphone.

    Me: Aww.

    Erik: But you’re totally fine. You’re saying the words, everything.

    Me: Mm.

    Erik: But nobody’s ever fucking listening.

    Me (with sympathy): Aww.

    I know he can empathize from his own struggles in life.

    Jamie: He’s talking about a girl who is, uh, her story of being mentally incapable, but the parents never gave up, kept pushing her, and she learned how to use the computer.

    Me: Oh, that’s a real story isn’t it? I saw that on TV.

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: Yeah. Yeah.

    Erik: Everyone in the world should read her fucking book. They should be forced, commanded to read her story.

    Hm. Being a little harsh, Erik? Who made you dictator? Talk about overkill.

    Me: I don’t think you can force people to do that, Erik.

    Erik: There should be a fucking curriculum for every human being, and I swear to god, the book Nonviolent Communication should be in there.

    Me: Yeah!

    Erik: And this chick’s book, because it would put into perspective that no matter how the body is misshapen, who’s to say you’re shaped right or wrong, if it works great or poorly? Who’s to say what that fucking is? The way that you treat, love, care, provide care for someone should be that way you would want it for yourself.

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: And if you cannot do that, you need to fucking walk away for a while. You need to take a break. Caregivers, care providers often don’t know when that is, because they feel too responsible, and they won’t set up breaks for themselves; they won’t call in reinforcements.

    Me: Well, what if they can’t afford reinforcements or don’t’ have those resources?

    (Long pause)

    Erik: Then you do what you’d do to your two year-old when you can no longer stand to be around them, because you’re not providing good care, and they’re pushing your buttons.

    Me: You beat them?

    I’m joking here in case you didn’t know.

    Erik: You lock them somewhere safe, and you sit outside the door and you catch your breath.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Not in the bathroom where they can turn on the fucking water or pull all the toilet paper out but in their room or in their playpen, and you step around the corner and you breathe. There are ways to train yourself to take a break, but many people won’t because they feel like if they do, then they have the right to say, “I pushed myself. I am a good person. Measure me by this,” when really, you’re a dick [to yourself].

    Me: We’ll it seems like most of the time it’s like, “I’m a failure if anything happens to this person. I need to do this for them. I need to do everything I can and more.”

    Erik: Trust me. I don’t care if the person is two years old or a hundred or if they’ve been incapable since they were born or fell into incapability, they know that you can only go so far.

    Me: Yeah. But there’s also the public. Others. Others in their lives that would see them. “Wait. You weren’t caring for them these past two hours? You had to watch your show? What the hell?”

    Erik: Two hours is a little too long to be by yourself. I’m talking about stepping around the corner, not leaving for two hours.

    Where a two year-old is concerned, two hours is often not enough. And I disagree with him here. You need more time away, as long as the person you’re taking care of will be safe for that period of time.

    Erik: There are other things that people don’t think of like turning on the fucking music.

    Me: Yeah. That would be good for both!

    Erik: Yes!

    Me: And meditation! Don’t forget about that!

    Erik: Yes. Smells. People don’t think about smells.

    With his smellier pranks, he obviously thinks about it a lot.

    Erik: You know when you have an incapable person and they’re calm, give them the smell they know they like. Is it a food? Is it aromatherapy, you know, an essential oil?

    Me: Uh huh.

    Erik: And then when they’re going nuts and pushing your fucking buttons, bring out that smell.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: It’s your way of communicating, “No, we gotta get calm.” People forget about using senses. They forget to set the mood, because they go into protection mode. The caregiver goes into protection mode and can’t think about providing any more care than protecting themselves.

    Me: Protecting themselves from what?

    Erik: Going off the deep end.

    Me; Oh, okay. Got it. Anything else on that?

    Erik: Oh, we can talk about that one forever.

    Me: Well, I don’t gots forever, so…

    Here’s a little bonus post for you guys, because I’m feeling so refreshed! (That feeling should last at least six hours.)

    Me: Erik was there any other solution for your mental illness besides suicide?


    Erik: Tons of pills and a fucked up reality.

    Me: Oh, that’s no good.

    Erik: So, for me, that could have been a solution. I could have chosen that, but it’s not what I did choose. It’s not what I sought. It’s not what I wanted. So, if you’re asking if there was some comparable answer to what I found here? No.

    Me (Somberly): Okay.

    Erik: I wouldn’t have found that relief, that release and this joy, this kind of presence that I have.

    Jamie (chuckling): I’m watching his hand gestures. They’re very, um… Sometimes he has this, I don’t know what to call it, like a hip-hop way of moving. I don’t know what to, like “Yo, yo.”

    Me: Oh yeah. Right.

    Jamie: It’s those gestures like they do in hip-hop. Kind of ghetto talk.

    Me: I know exactly what you’re talking about. With their fingers down sometimes (I show her.)

    Jamie: Yes! He’s demonstrating it in front of me.

    Talk about a major distraction. I bet Erik is tapping his foot in impatience.

    Me: News flash, Erik. You’re a white boy.

    Jamie giggles.

    Jaime (to Erik): Called out!

    Erik: Well, you know what? The soul of a black man is in me. I gotta let it out.

    Me: And the soul of a black woman sometimes, too!

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Erik: I love me some big, black women.

    Am I going to get in trouble with this? Sometimes I regret my “no editing” policy.

    Me: What were we even talking about? Seriously. Oh yeah. Anything else on that?

    Erik: No. I just couldn’t’ find anything that would give me what I needed. Nope. Nope.

    Me: Okay.

    Next week, I plan on doing a YouTube on aliens and possibly interviewing a Tall White and/or Short Gray (which is kind of scary.) I have tons os questions, but if you think of others that you’re SURE I don’t have on my list, let me know in the comments section, NOT VIA MY EMAIL. Thanks!

    Because so many people requested it, I plan to ask about the Malaysian Airliner during my next session if it’s not resolved by that time.

    Also, many of you have looked for Jamie and Erik’s small group channeling calls since Jamie is booked up for 2014. These “mini-readings” are booked through March, but they have openings through July, from what I understand. I had trouble finding the link, so here it is. PHONE READINGS

    There are three types: The first type of call is the famous/infamous Erik’s “Call-Outs,” which are designed for general questions about career, spiritual mission, past lives, relationships, health, etc. The second type of call is the “Group Phone Readings” which are Jamie’s gig, but you can still call in Erik if you want. Again, these are for all questions. Finally, there are the “Grievers Call.” With these, you can talk directly to your deceased loved one. Erik will bring them forward and, if necessary, help them communicate. You can use the other two types of calls to talk to your loved ones. This is nice to know if the Grievers Calls are booked for a while. As many will attest, all three are very powerful and immensely healing.

  • February19th2014

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    Dear Reader,

    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my books is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

    Love and light,


    All about Channeling Erik

    On October 6, 2009, my 20-year-old son Erik, took his own life. Since that sad and tragic day, an overwhelming sense of grief and despair propelled me into a search for answers. Answers that would provide me and others with comfort and hope. Some of those answers came from the many books I bought, but many came from an unexpected source…Erik, himself.

    If you’re new to Channeling Erik, I recommend you read the backstory first.

    Then, I suggest you start with the very first post . In doing so you can follow my journey just as I did, through the inexplicable, inconceivable, and yet utterly undeniable surprises that I have encountered since my son”s death.



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