Channeling Erik®
  • Death
  • July10th


    This is for all of you animal lovers out there. That includes birds, insects and, well I don’t know about cockroaches. For me, the jury is still out on that one. But on a high note, I refuse to smush ‘em. That’s my husband’s job. No cleats though.

    Me: Are there animals there?

    Erik: Yes. Insects, plants—

    Me: Are they all ones who have died or can you create your own Chihuahua?

    Erik: You don’t really manifest another life form. It’s pretty wild. You can tend to plants and animals, but you’re not an owner of them. You’re a companion, but you don’t have ownership. There are different breeds of plants and animals that no longer exist on Earth or that haven’t come to exist on Earth that are in this higher dimensional planes.

    Me: Even T-Rex?

    Erik: Yo-yo, dinosaur!

    Jamie (to Erik, in mock frustration): Why? (To me) He says he’s going to follow me around all day and say, “Yo-yo, dinosaur.”

    Me: Oh no!

    Jamie: Better than apples!

    Me: Yeah, I remember he did that.

    Jamie shakes her head.

    Erik: Yeah, anything that existed or is going to exist on Earth is here.

    Me: Do you have to take care of dogs and cats and so on or can they survive on their own?

    Erik: Yeah, they can survive on their own. Remember, this is not a place where we have those needs—like you need water, you need food, you need this. So, animals can tend to themselves and there’s a pure line of communication between the two of them. You can talk to the animal and the animal can call back. Again, when I’m talking about conversations it’s more from the heart. I didn’t realize how much that frustrates me until we had these interviews today.

    Me (in a voice that’s like a mother talking to her baby): So you don’t have to meow like a kitty cat?

    Erik: No, but I’m sure when you get here you’ll still do it anyway, Mom.

    Me: I’m sure. There was another question I wanted to ask about animals, but I can’t remember it for the life of me. What was it Erik?

    Erik: How people can be animals?

    Of course we are, but I didn’t want to pull rank on the guy.

    Me: Yeah, that’s right. We can be animals.

    Erik: If there’s a life form, then a person can be a part of that life form. So they can be an animal, an insect, a plant.

    Oh, Erik. An insect is an animal. You must have missed that lecture in biology class.

    Me: Oh! I remember what I was going to say!

    Erik: What?

    Me: Do you have a particular animal companion? I mean, do you hang out with a dog, a cat, a snake or anything more than other animals?

    Erik (to Jamie): My mom’s pairing me up with a snake!

    Me: Uh oh. Sorry.

    Erik: No, no. I don’t have any companions right now.

    Me: What about my puppy dogs?

    Erik: Well, you can have ‘em!

    Me: No, I mean the ones who’ve passed away. All of the ones.

    Erik: Well, I get to see nut head every now and then.

    He’s referring to Peanut, our Chihuahua.

    Jamie: Nut head?

    Me: Aw. Peanut!

    Jamie: Peanut.

    Me (to Erik): Nut head. Erik!

    Erik: We don’t hang out every day.

  • June5th


    Blog member, Daniel Lucas, created the masterpiece below. How, I don’t know, but it gives me such a sense that we’re all family, connected. If you’d like a picture of yourself in the image, please send a good quality, bright photo to him at Thanks, Daniel!

    The Family

    The Family

    This is the continuation of Erik’s description of his death and the events that occurred in the moments that followed.

    Erik: Then I felt pulled. It felt like I was being pulled from the back of my shoulders. Not pushed, but, it’s kind of what I would imagine water being moved up a straw would feel like.


    Erik: It wasn’t like being abducted by aliens. You know like a UFO hovers over you and they like sssllrrrruuup (sucking sound), get sucked up. It wasn’t like that.

    Jamie (laughing): Erik, you’re so creative! He’s showing me the motion of being pulled backwards.

    Erik: It’s like being dragged out of the sea by your life jacket with one of those boat hooks. And the distance is about the same as from the water to the boat. It wasn’t very far. Maybe a few feet. It’s not like I went up, up, up into the sky.

    Me: Uh huh.

    Erik: I kinda expected that, though. But that didn’t happen. And it wasn’t like I got pulled into a different room. It’s like the room I was in began to change. It’s like when kids draw chalk on the sidewalk and then you take a hose to it or the rain comes and gently washes it away. It becomes a clean sidewalk again. The room I was in gently washed away, and I was in a different room.

    Me: Hmm. But did you come back to see when I came upstairs and came into your room? Anything like that?

    Erik: I know you were there. But really, that seems like 15 minutes after if happened.

    Me: Okay. Yes, that’s exactly when I came up to your room. So you were pulled away by your shoulders, and the room gently washes away. So when do you see me and then the police?

    Erik: Well, I saw it sorta from a different vantage point. It’s not like I was standing in the room.

    Jamie: Erik, how do I explain what you’re showing me?

    Erik: It’s not like I’m watching a TV. It’s not like I’m removed in that way. I was a part of it; I see myself in the room, but I’m not really part of that room at all anymore. It’s really hard to explain it in words, Mom.

    Me: Like you were behind the veil?

    Erik: Yeah, Sorta like that! You know how you can put a sheet over your body, but you can still see through it, but you’re pretending that nobody can see you?

    Me: Oh, yeah!

    Erik: That’s kinda how I viewed what took place.

    Me: How did that scene make you feel? Was it difficult to watch?

    Erik: At first I was a little confused why you were crying. I knew the police had to be there, but I really couldn’t have told you why. I just knew they had to be there. I knew it was right. But yeah, it was very painful for me to watch you break down like that. It was horrible, the most painful thing I’ve ever had to bear. I really didn’t think about how you would react. All I thought about was how I could get relief.

    Me: Well, we called them, you know, the Hedwig Village Police. Maria told us she heard a gun shot so we turned the car around and drove like a bat out of hell back, and we called 911. (Explaining to Jamie): Since we live in a small village inside Houston and have our own police department, they came right away. In fact, they almost beat us there.

    Jamie (giggling): He’s laughing that you called the village.

    Erik: Once that was taken care of, I saw my body being zipped up. Then it was carried out, but I can’t really explain where it went after that.

    Me: Well I guess at that point you didn’t follow it. You probably didn’t have much of an attachment to your body, an emotional attachment, I mean.

    Erik: Yeah, none. It’s like you always told me when I was growing up that I wasn’t my body, that my soul was separate from it.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Then, I remember the Light. It was really, really bright to look at, but there wasn’t any tunnel. No tunnel.

    Me: Okay, so the tunnel was probably just the physiologic thing you were talking about before?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: You probably died so instantly, that there was no period of slow oxygen deprivation to that part of the brain that causes the tunnel effect. Okay, so then after you saw the Light, what happened?

    Erik: After I was pulled away, watched the scene, and then my body got carried away?

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Well, for a while I didn’t leave the house. I didn’t go out into the yard or anything. So that’s when I started to check on people I knew.

    Me: Okay. Living people or deceased?

    Erik: Oh, the living.

    (Long pause)

    Me: For exaaaammmple? Miiiilking the cow, miiiilking the cow! (Coaxing more information from his was like pulling teeth!)

    Jamie: He’s showing me this image; it’s almost like going through a book.

    Me: Oh, okay.

    Jamie: you know, you flip one page, you see that person. You flip another page, you go see somebody else. He saw one of the friends. Male. A male friend that was close to him. Dark hair.

    Me: Sean, Valentin, Jonathan?

    Jamie: Does Valentin have a nickname?

    Me: I don’t know. Frenchie, maybe? He was French. Anyway, he was the guy who hung out with Erik a lot during the last year of his life.  One activity they enjoyed together was target shooting at the gun range. Erik was too young to buy a gun, and we didn’t even know he had one. Apparently, he traded in some of his possessions and asked an acquaintance of Valentin’s to buy one for him. But if it hadn’t been the gun, it would have been something else: a rope, pills. Kim once told us that he might try to kill himself, but that there was nothing we could do to prevent it. Of course I took him to a therapist once a week, a psychiatrist once a week, I tried to get him to do past life regression, everything. We just didn’t want that prediction to come true. But, sadly, it did. Valentin was his best friend toward the end and made his life so full of love and friendship. Now, Sean is one of his lifelong friends. We’ve know him since grade school, and I homeschooled him along with Erik for many years. So, they were very close, too.

    Jamie: No, he went to Valentin first. He didn’t check on Sean until later.

    Erik: Then I went to see Popi.

    Me: Yeah, Popi (my dad, Erik’s grandfather) told me you visited him, sat down in his lap and laid your head on his chest. That kind of freaked him out, because he’s a total atheist. He doesn’t believe in life after death at all.

    Erik: Yeah, and it was sort alike going to the house next door.

    Me: Wait, are you talking about my dad, Popi, or Pappa’s father in Norway?

    Erik: Your dad. Popi.

    Me: Well, I have to tell you, Erik, it really startled my dad. He called and said he was in shock and that he didn’t know what to think. I’m glad, because he’s almost 90 so…

    Erik and Jamie laugh.

    Erik: Then, I went to Norway to see Bestefar. Chilled with him a while.

    Me: Okay, so then what?

    Erik: Well, there was this really bright light that I didn’t really feel I could look at, cuz I’ve always been taught not to look at the sun since it might burn your eyes, you know?

    Me: Yeah, sure.

    Erik: But it didn’t burn at all. No tunnel, no upward and away motion. I was actually a little disappointed in that! (laughing) You know how when you come out of a movie theater after sitting in the dark and you come out into the bright-lit lobby? It takes a while to get use to it, to adjust. Your eyes adjust, and you begin to see you’re not alone.

    Me: Uh huh.

    Erik: And the odd thing is, I can’t tell you if I was inside or outside. It’s like I was just in a space.

    Me; How did you get to the Light from Norway? Were you pulled there?

    Erik: It’s weird. It’s like I just walked a few steps and got there. I just walked in the direction that I felt the pull was taking me. Let’s go back to the life jacket idea. It’s like I was being pulled and pulled toward and then into the boat, but while I was being pulled, I made those visits. I do all this stuff, and finally, by the time I’m done, I’m getting closer to the boat, and they pull me a few feet up into the Light and into the ALTERNATE DIMENSION. (He says this like Rod Serling would say “TWILIGHT ZONE” with an eerie and mysterious tone.)

    Jamie: He’s laughing hard!

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Me (laughing): Making a joke about it, huh?

    Erik: Of course that’s not what we call it when we’re here. You don’t even know what to call it! You just know you’re in the right place. That’s the only thing that matters, You know you’re in the right place. I knew I didn’t do anything wrong, that I was just in the right place.

    Me: Good. So who did you see over there?

    Erik: I remember seeing Aunt Denise first.

    Me: Yeah, that’s what you said through Kim. So, uh, how did that conversation go?

    Erik (chuckling): It’s so funny that you say conversation, because she had a mouthful for me!

    Me: Oh, boy! I bet!

    Erik: She went at me verbally. And frankly, I really felt like that was unfair, because she knew what was going on, and I didn’t!

    (My younger sister, Denise, committed suicide in 2003 after a life ravaged by severely brittle Diabetes. She walked with a walker, was fed by J-Tube directly into the small intestine, wore diapers and had to be catheterized three times a day. When she had a small bowel obstruction, they gave her blood that was Hepatitis C positive. Her nephrologist told her that essentially she was a goner because they couldn’t treat the Hep C without her rejecting her new pancreas and kidney.)

    Me: Yeah, because she killed herself too! Of course she was so debilitated by her disease so, no surprise there…

    Erik: Yeah, but over a period of time, again and again and again she would come at me with “what happened?” and “what do I need to do?” and “who should I console?”

    (I found this really funny, because our family took care of Denise; she lived with us. And she was such a busy body, always asking so many questions. We always used to tease her by saying, “Why say why; Try Bud Dry.” That used to make her laugh, plus it gave us all a short reprieve from the barrage of questions.)

    Me: Yeah, Denise was a bit of a Buttinsky, but in a loving way.

    Erik: But there were other people there, too. But no God on a throne. There were like six people there to greet me, uh, dressed in clothes.

    Me (chuckling): Nothing Greek?

    Erik (laughing): Yeah, nothing Greek.

    Me: No toga party, then? Dang! I remember those when I went to Rice University!

    Jamie laughs loudly.

    Erik: That was good, Mom! That was good.

    Me: Were they all departed loved ones of ours?

    Erik: Yes, and there were some I knew that I knew, but it was kind of like when you have a dream where you know you know that person, but in consciousness you can’t identify them at all.

    Me: Okay, wow, this is all so interesting. Well, I guess we should close now. But Erik, you know it’s your brother’s birthday today. Did you wake him up this morning or try to?

    Erik: I tried to, but he sleeps like a log.

    Me: That’s true! That’s true! Okay, well maybe you can give him a little surprise while he’s awake, then.

    Erik: Yep.

    Me: Give him some goosebumps like you do to me!

    Erik (chuckling): I do have some tricks up my sleeve that I’m going to use throughout the day!

    Me: Good!

    Erik: A special day!

    Me: Why do I always feel intense goosebumps more on my left side?

    Erik: Your left side is more sensitive than your right.

    Me: Oh, okay. Well, I love you Sweetie, and when I come over there, we’ve got some catching up to do! I’m going to prank you to no end, just like you do to Jason and Robert and me!

    Jamie and Erik laugh.

    Me: Well, I love you, Erik. I love you so, so much. I miss you. I miss you so, so much, Sweetie.

    Erik: I love you more.

    I find that very hard to believe.

  • June3rd


    This part of the channeling transcript was not at all easy for me. The graphic memories, the heartache, the sense of loss, it all flooded back to me like a tsunami of dread and despair. For that reason, I’ve transcribed just a portion of Erik’s description of his death. The heart can only endure so much pain.

    I do hope, however, that you can find some comfort in his words, particularly when you think of your own departed loved ones, because there are elements of peace, beauty and joy in death.

    Me: What did you notice after your death that was different for you, Erik? I know it’s different for each person, but as a general rule, what do most souls notice right away?

    Erik: Their bodies.

    Me: Yeah. You see your body? That’s the first thing you notice?

    Erik: No. The body… the way it feels. It’s crazy, Mom, because you don’t have any pain, but sometimes that doesn’t register until like days or weeks later, as Earth time goes. There’s no hunger or thirst. You’re never too cold or too hot. And some notice it right away, but for others, it’s like a few days after they go, “Hey, I don’t have any pain!”

    Me: Wow.

    Erik: Because some people have lived with pain for so long, they don’t realize when it’s gone.

    Me: Yeah. So what else? What other sensations do you notice right away?

    Erik: Expanded. You feel expanded and lighter. It’s like you’re not cramped into that tight space anymore, and you can fill any space you want. Also, one of the first things you notice is when you think of something…when you have a thought, you don’t get in a car and travel somewhere to see it or go get it. You just end up there. Like when I think of you, I’m there. When I think of Bestefar in Norway, I’m there.

    Me: Wow, so thought creates reality much faster there?

    Erik (laughing): Oh, yeah!

    Me: Must save on those plane tickets. No frequent flyer miles for you, though, Erik.

    Erik laughs.

    Me: But can you create a car or motorcycle or boat and travel that way if you want to?

    Erik: Yeah! Hell yeah! You can create anything. Just like humans can create houses and build their cars; we have the same capabilities here, but it’s done in a much different way. Easier and quicker.

    Jamie (laughing): He’s giving me this look like, “Oh, poor you!”

    Me: Us poor peons down here have to do everything the hard way, huh?

    Jamie laughs.

    Me: What about the body? After you leave the physical body and look down at your spirit self, do you still have a body of some sort like a “memory body?” Does your form seem solid to yourself, at least at first?

    (Long pause)

    Me: I mean, when you looked down on your, you know, your lifeless body, but then looked at your soul’s body, what did it look like to you?

    Erik: Mom, at that time, I didn’t even know to wonder if it was solid or not. It just wasn’t even in my realm of thinking. I was just too concerned about, “What’s gonna happen now?”

    Me (sadly): Yeah. Must have been scary for you, Baby.


    Erik: I know this sounds weird, but I didn’t have a lot of fear, because there weren’t those smells and sounds and sights and feelings that would create fear. It was actually extremely peaceful. And you know that one second felt like five minutes.

    Me: Okay. Which one second? When you pulled the trigger?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: Oh, okay. Did it hurt?

    Erik: I remember the sounds around me but not the pain. It’s like I heard the ricochet whizzing sound of the bullet after it went through my head.

    Me: Gosh, Erik, weren’t you scared when you were slowly squeezing the trigger? I almost feel like you probably weren’t sure you were actually going to do it until it was all over, like you didn’t totally make up your mind until it was too late. What were you feeling at that moment?

    Erik: That’s pretty interesting that you knew I pulled the trigger slowly.

    Me: Oh, I just got that. I don’t know. I just get the feeling you had not made up your mind until it was all over. Maybe you told me about your indecisiveness before in another channeling session, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t tell me you pulled the trigger slowly. That’s just what I get. Maybe it was channeled.

    Erik: That’s true, but I didn’t really think I would die from it.

    Me (somberly): Yeah, well, it was a 45 caliber hollow point. Oof.

    (Long, poignant pause)

    Me: What else do you want to share about death and the moment right after death, you know, what the soul realizes right after death?

    Erik: Well, definitely lack of pain, like I said. Ease of movement. How thought creates reality in an instant. Also these wonderful things are happening to you. There’s this full-on weakness that you have at first. For me, I relate that to—I don’t know how to maneuver this body. When I was alive, I would reach out, grab the can, open it up and drink it. I could feel thirst and take care of it. If I wanted to see my family, I could go call or come over or email. But now these patterns that I learned don’t exist anymore. They don’t work the same way.

    Me: Hmm. Wow!

    Erik: In the beginning, there’s this sense of helplessness. I’ve heard some spirits call it release, but you have to sorta relearn how to interact with people and stuff. Some spirits know how to do it right away. You know, entering a dream or moving something away or making something appear. But some of us just take longer before we able to do certain things.

    Me: To do what, exactly? Can you give me an example of something you’ve tried to do and it was difficult?

    Erik: I remember I tried to pick the gun up.

    Me (sadly): Um hm.

    Erik: I tried to move my face to help me.

    Me; Um hm.

    Erik: None of that worked. My hand just went right through everything. It penetrated, it had a sensation; it wasn’t like my hand was moving through air. I could feel density and texture. I could feel the emotion of what I was going through.

    Me: Did the emotions feel different?

    Erik: Yes, they did. It’s like they weren’t mine. Though I was looking at myself—I know it was me, but it didn’t feel like me at all.

    Me: Help me understand this. What emotions did you—your soul—feel right after death?


    Me: Besides, of course, helplessness and—

    Erik: Joy. Wait. I take that back. If I have to break it down in a sequence, I’m guessing the first feeling I had was peacefulness. Being at peace.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: I recognized I was at peace and felt joy. Then, when I saw that I was separated, you know, from my physical body, I felt I wasn’t solid, that’s when I went to go help myself, try to anyway. I only had time to try to help once. And I wasn’t afraid for myself, either.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: Because I felt fine!

    Me: Yeah. And then, did you feel like, when I went up there and found you, did you go through that, “Oh my gosh; what have I done” feeling?

    Erik: Not right away. At first I was really interested in finding out what was next. I didn’t do the “Oh my gosh; what have I done” thing until I realized that it was irreversible.

    Me: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so walk me through the sequence: you tried to grab the gun, then you tried to help yourself once, then what?

    Even as I proofread this, my stomach turns and my heart sinks to familiar depths. As I’m brought back to that tragic day, magical thinking takes over in that for a split second, I truly believe I can intervene as his finger slowly flexes around the trigger. God, if only I could create a time machine. What would I do? I’d make him do the past life regression that would have cast a light into his darkness. I would have insisted he join us for lunch. I would have wrapped him in my arms and kept him there forever no matter how hard he squirmed and protested. But alas, there is no time machine, and magical thinking is just that—illusion. Or delusion. I miss you, Erik.

  • May13th


    Jamie’s assistant, Amy, wanted you guys to know that there are a few spots open for the following channeling calls. All others are booked up.

    Griever’s Call June 2oth

    Erik’s Conference Call July 11th

    Griever’s Call July 18th

    This post was published just 4 months after Erik died. It makes me sad to read it because it reminds me of how deep and cutting my pain was at that time. Now, the pain has dulled, but I suppose it will always be my constant companion.

    Losing a child, particularly to suicide, is gut wrenching. It lends an entirely new perspective on the term, “a broken heart,” because every morning when I wake up and realize that ‘yes, Erik is still dead; it wasn’t all some horrible dream,’ I feel like a dagger has been plunged to the hilt into my heart. Since his death, it’s like I’ve lost a limb and must limp through life a broken woman. Some days I wonder how I can bear plodding through the decades I have left on Earth when every day that my son isn’t with me is like a bitter eternity. Some days, I long for death, but the love I have for my husband, my other children, my friends and the rest of my family plays tug-of-war with my soul. I must stay. I must love. I must endure.

    Of course I have many good days, but when I slip into a particularly dark place, Erik comes to comfort me. The other day he did just that. Here is just one story of the many miracles with which he graces our lives:

    Erik shot himself in the head in his bedroom. Finding him moments later was the most horrible experience I’ve ever had. For days, I couldn’t even go upstairs, much less return to that room. Then, I went through a phase when I wanted to be there all the time. I wanted to smell his dirty clothes. I cursed the fact that the sheets on his bed were changed minutes before his death, robbing me of the chance to soak in his scent, his essence. I tended to the makeshift altar on his desk by lighting the candles and rearranging the flowers that were slowly turning brown. I combed every surface, every wall to find the dent made by the wretched bullet that stole him from me forever.

    Now, I avoid the room again. Seeing the rough wood planks from which the carpet was removed, seeing the yellow bags the crime scene cleanup crew filled with his clothes, seeing his empty bed…it’s just too hard. We keep pictures of him around the house, but every reminder of his death is locked away in his room: the photo album from the funeral home, the keepsake box filled with sympathy letters, leftover programs for his memorial service, copies of our eulogies, they’re all in his room as unspeakable reminders of a life cut short. Erik’s room is a no man’s land behind a locked door that no one dares open. To open that door is to open painful wounds again.

    The other day, I felt particularly sad. As I sat on the couch sobbing softly, the housekeeper who comes once a week and has know Erik since he was 16 months old approached me quietly. She said, “Elisa, look what I found on the utility room floor.” She placed a little card in my hand. It was a card meant to be distributed to everyone at Erik’s visitation and memorial service providing information on how to leave an audio message, thoughts, prayers, remembrances, condolences.

    How could this be? These cards have been locked away in the leather keepsake box in his room upstairs. The door to his room has been closed for months. How did that card go from that box, from that room, all the way downstairs to settle on the white tile floor in the middle of another room?

    As I touched that card, Erik’s image appeared in my mind. However, this was no ordinary image. It was vivid. It was strong. It was tangible. And the smile on his face spoke volumes. It said, “Mom, I’m fine. I’m here. I’m as alive as I’ve ever been.”

    I’ve learned so much from the books I’ve read on how souls can manipulate energy to move material objects, even books explaining the physics behind the phenomenon. In a previous entry, I recounted how Erik said he was working on developing that skill so he can contact us in more tangible ways. That miracle proved to me that his practice paid off.

    A day destined to be sad had become happy. Thank you, Erik, my darling boy.

  • March13th


    I had such a wonderful time with the family in Destin, Florida this week. The weather cooperated only one day, but that day made up for everything. Navarre Beach was delightful: powdered sugar sand, crystal clear water and not more than 6 people stretched out in the sun there. We also went to the quaint town of Seaside to spend the day. 

    th-3 \th-2





    I’d like to extend a special thanks to Kate and Jesse for manning the helm in my absence. Also, thank you, everyone, for keeping your emails and FB messages to a minimum during my down time. Enjoy today’s post! 

    Me: Can you give advice for the mentally ill and their caregiver? Actually, let’s expand that to any one with an illness and their caregiver, but if we need to do it separately, that’s okay.

    Erik: Well, if we’re talking about mental illness, there are tons of those.

    Me: Well, let’s just talk about those who are chronically ill and unable to care for themselves. How about that? I’ll simplify it for you, Erik!

    Erik: Dumb it down, Mom!

    I chuckle.

    Erik: Okay. For the caregiver, I think it would be best if every day that they wake up before they go to dedicate their day and their life to caring for that person, they say this: “Even though this person, this child, parent or maybe their career–(You gotta take care of that, too.) Even though that person cannot do for themselves, they are still honorable and respectable on the inside.” The part that sucks about becoming incapable when you were once capable or just coming in to this life incapable is that you are truly on the inside. You’re really there. You’re still processing shit. It’s normally the fucking body that becomes broken, even if it’s a mental disease. The soul is not broken though. So the soul can comprehend, communicate, reach out, see all the goodness, see all the pain, everything, but the body cannot relay it. It’s like you need a megaphone to communicate, but the megaphone is broken. You’re carrying around a broken megaphone.

    Me: Aww.

    Erik: But you’re totally fine. You’re saying the words, everything.

    Me: Mm.

    Erik: But nobody’s ever fucking listening.

    Me (with sympathy): Aww.

    I know he can empathize from his own struggles in life.

    Jamie: He’s talking about a girl who is, uh, her story of being mentally incapable, but the parents never gave up, kept pushing her, and she learned how to use the computer.

    Me: Oh, that’s a real story isn’t it? I saw that on TV.

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: Yeah. Yeah.

    Erik: Everyone in the world should read her fucking book. They should be forced, commanded to read her story.

    Hm. Being a little harsh, Erik? Who made you dictator? Talk about overkill.

    Me: I don’t think you can force people to do that, Erik.

    Erik: There should be a fucking curriculum for every human being, and I swear to god, the book Nonviolent Communication should be in there.

    Me: Yeah!

    Erik: And this chick’s book, because it would put into perspective that no matter how the body is misshapen, who’s to say you’re shaped right or wrong, if it works great or poorly? Who’s to say what that fucking is? The way that you treat, love, care, provide care for someone should be that way you would want it for yourself.

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: And if you cannot do that, you need to fucking walk away for a while. You need to take a break. Caregivers, care providers often don’t know when that is, because they feel too responsible, and they won’t set up breaks for themselves; they won’t call in reinforcements.

    Me: Well, what if they can’t afford reinforcements or don’t’ have those resources?

    (Long pause)

    Erik: Then you do what you’d do to your two year-old when you can no longer stand to be around them, because you’re not providing good care, and they’re pushing your buttons.

    Me: You beat them?

    I’m joking here in case you didn’t know.

    Erik: You lock them somewhere safe, and you sit outside the door and you catch your breath.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Not in the bathroom where they can turn on the fucking water or pull all the toilet paper out but in their room or in their playpen, and you step around the corner and you breathe. There are ways to train yourself to take a break, but many people won’t because they feel like if they do, then they have the right to say, “I pushed myself. I am a good person. Measure me by this,” when really, you’re a dick [to yourself].

    Me: We’ll it seems like most of the time it’s like, “I’m a failure if anything happens to this person. I need to do this for them. I need to do everything I can and more.”

    Erik: Trust me. I don’t care if the person is two years old or a hundred or if they’ve been incapable since they were born or fell into incapability, they know that you can only go so far.

    Me: Yeah. But there’s also the public. Others. Others in their lives that would see them. “Wait. You weren’t caring for them these past two hours? You had to watch your show? What the hell?”

    Erik: Two hours is a little too long to be by yourself. I’m talking about stepping around the corner, not leaving for two hours.

    Where a two year-old is concerned, two hours is often not enough. And I disagree with him here. You need more time away, as long as the person you’re taking care of will be safe for that period of time.

    Erik: There are other things that people don’t think of like turning on the fucking music.

    Me: Yeah. That would be good for both!

    Erik: Yes!

    Me: And meditation! Don’t forget about that!

    Erik: Yes. Smells. People don’t think about smells.

    With his smellier pranks, he obviously thinks about it a lot.

    Erik: You know when you have an incapable person and they’re calm, give them the smell they know they like. Is it a food? Is it aromatherapy, you know, an essential oil?

    Me: Uh huh.

    Erik: And then when they’re going nuts and pushing your fucking buttons, bring out that smell.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: It’s your way of communicating, “No, we gotta get calm.” People forget about using senses. They forget to set the mood, because they go into protection mode. The caregiver goes into protection mode and can’t think about providing any more care than protecting themselves.

    Me: Protecting themselves from what?

    Erik: Going off the deep end.

    Me; Oh, okay. Got it. Anything else on that?

    Erik: Oh, we can talk about that one forever.

    Me: Well, I don’t gots forever, so…

    Here’s a little bonus post for you guys, because I’m feeling so refreshed! (That feeling should last at least six hours.)

    Me: Erik was there any other solution for your mental illness besides suicide?


    Erik: Tons of pills and a fucked up reality.

    Me: Oh, that’s no good.

    Erik: So, for me, that could have been a solution. I could have chosen that, but it’s not what I did choose. It’s not what I sought. It’s not what I wanted. So, if you’re asking if there was some comparable answer to what I found here? No.

    Me (Somberly): Okay.

    Erik: I wouldn’t have found that relief, that release and this joy, this kind of presence that I have.

    Jamie (chuckling): I’m watching his hand gestures. They’re very, um… Sometimes he has this, I don’t know what to call it, like a hip-hop way of moving. I don’t know what to, like “Yo, yo.”

    Me: Oh yeah. Right.

    Jamie: It’s those gestures like they do in hip-hop. Kind of ghetto talk.

    Me: I know exactly what you’re talking about. With their fingers down sometimes (I show her.)

    Jamie: Yes! He’s demonstrating it in front of me.

    Talk about a major distraction. I bet Erik is tapping his foot in impatience.

    Me: News flash, Erik. You’re a white boy.

    Jamie giggles.

    Jaime (to Erik): Called out!

    Erik: Well, you know what? The soul of a black man is in me. I gotta let it out.

    Me: And the soul of a black woman sometimes, too!

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Erik: I love me some big, black women.

    Am I going to get in trouble with this? Sometimes I regret my “no editing” policy.

    Me: What were we even talking about? Seriously. Oh yeah. Anything else on that?

    Erik: No. I just couldn’t’ find anything that would give me what I needed. Nope. Nope.

    Me: Okay.

    Next week, I plan on doing a YouTube on aliens and possibly interviewing a Tall White and/or Short Gray (which is kind of scary.) I have tons os questions, but if you think of others that you’re SURE I don’t have on my list, let me know in the comments section, NOT VIA MY EMAIL. Thanks!

    Because so many people requested it, I plan to ask about the Malaysian Airliner during my next session if it’s not resolved by that time.

    Also, many of you have looked for Jamie and Erik’s small group channeling calls since Jamie is booked up for 2014. These “mini-readings” are booked through March, but they have openings through July, from what I understand. I had trouble finding the link, so here it is. PHONE READINGS

    There are three types: The first type of call is the famous/infamous Erik’s “Call-Outs,” which are designed for general questions about career, spiritual mission, past lives, relationships, health, etc. The second type of call is the “Group Phone Readings” which are Jamie’s gig, but you can still call in Erik if you want. Again, these are for all questions. Finally, there are the “Grievers Call.” With these, you can talk directly to your deceased loved one. Erik will bring them forward and, if necessary, help them communicate. You can use the other two types of calls to talk to your loved ones. This is nice to know if the Grievers Calls are booked for a while. As many will attest, all three are very powerful and immensely healing.

  • February27th


    Today is a very sad day. A friend that my daughter, Annika, has known since preschool died Friday in a very tragic way. She and our family were very close. She even traveled with us to San Antonio and Florida. I went to the viewing yesterday, and, as is always the case, it was clear to me that what remained of Emma was a shell. The spark in her eye that was her soul was gone. I plan to help with the wake, but, although I fully intended to, I just can’t go to the memorial service. It would remind me of Erik’s. My heart just bleeds for the family. I remember the call from the cornea donation place, having to pick out a casket, the corner decorations, the marker and its message, the plot, the clothes he would wear. I remember looking at his neck and getting a glimpse of the Y incision made during his autopsy. I remember caressing his hair only to have some of it come off, because they had to put color matched “fake” hair to cover up the bullet hole. It triggers so much pain, but I plan to take her mother under my wing and help her get through this. I know when Erik died there was no one there who had lost a child. 

    By the way, I forgot to tell you that Erik used to always wear the same kind of hat as that dude in the Believe video. He loved fedoras. I didn’t get that connection until after I posted the YouTube, but I think that’s pretty cool. Plus, the guy’s energy reminds me so much of Erik’s. 

    Here’s yet another neglected post. I think I have one more. Also, I just wanted to tell you guys that I just interviewed Farrah Fawcett and Meher Baba. I have to finish the session I’m transcribing now, but then I’ll get on these. Each of them takes me several days, because my days are so full of other things. I hope you look forward to them!

    Me: Okay. Anything about your growth? I’m not focusing on you, Erik. About you.  I know about your trying to understand the difference between participation and involvement thing.

    Erik: That is part of my growth.

    Me: Yeah, but how else are you doing there? Tell me your life over there. What’s going on besides just helping me? Now, for every one hour you talk about me, I want you to spend one hour talking about you!

    Jamie giggles.

    Erik: I did. I told you about how I’m learning how to be involved but not be involved.

    Me: Okay. Well, what else? What else is going on in your life?

    Erik: Oh, my god, that’s like been the biggest topic on my head for about two months.

    Me: Well, do you have any fun over there? What do you do with your day besides blog-related things?

    Erik: My fun is playing with my balls.

    Jamie (laughing hard): Oh, Erik!

    Me: Oh, god. Well, it always has been probably. (Sigh) What else, Erik?

    Jamie is still laughing.

    Me: By the way, a lot of people seem to have crushes on you, but I saw one comment in the Channeling Erik group, “Yeah, I always had a crush on him, but now I really do once I found out he had a big package.”

    Jamie laughs. I don’t know how much more of this she can take.

    Jamie: He’s just laughing. He’s pointing at his crotch and going, “That’s the ticket.”

    I giggle.

    Jamie (to Erik): You wish you knew how to use it! Next topic, Erik. Um, he’s showing me a picture of being on—it’s a motorcycle, but it’s not like a Harley. It’s one of those fancy ones with the—

    Me: Like a crotch rocket?

    Jamie (laughing): Crotch rocket! Yeah.

    Me: Okay.

    Jamie: Doo—dook—

    Me: Ducati? Okay, yeah.

    (My husband only rides Ducatis and Erik used to love riding my red Ducati Monster.

    Jamie: And, um (Pause) He’s showing me a bunch of pictures. He’s on it. It’s a steel gray color and he’s on a road that has no speed limit.

    Me: I hope you’re wearing your helmet.

    Jamie: It’s kind of a mountainous place, but it looks like a highway. He said it’s on Earth. Oh, the, um. Oh my god, I just totally forgot the name of it. That road that doesn’t have a speed limit. It’s in Europe, right?

    Me: Oh, the Autobahn, for one?

    Jamie: The Autobahn, yeah. So, yeah, he apparently has a few other friends who are biker fans as well.

    Erik: We kind of blow steam off by doing that.

    Me: Good!

    Erik: It’s not racing, though. It’s just the joy of riding.

    Me: All right. Anything else you wanna talk about? Your fun? Your life over there? I forget to ask you these things, because these sessions are so blog-driven. I want to know more about my baby!

    Erik: Well, tell Pappa not to be disappointed that I’m not racing, but I am still enjoying them.

    Me: Good. The Ducati is his favorite bike. That’s it. That’s what he races with.

    Jamie: Are you serious?

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: It’s not like we have a garage full of them or anything, because we don’t need to keep them like that. We just manifest them. If it’s something we can think about, create and dream up, then we can get it.

    Me: That’s awesome.

    Erik: Yeah, it’d definitely be good for the Earth, that whole recycling thing.

    Me: Okay, tell me one more thing that you do during the day. Or night. As if there were day and night.

    Jamie: That is wild, because when you said “night” I didn’t see it at all. There was no image. It was just kind of a softer version of a day.

    Me: Oh!


    Me: You go clubbing?

    Jamie: No, he’s showing me this building he’s walking into, and it’s huge! It’s not tall. It’s maybe 12 or 13 stories tall. Not like a skyscraper or anything, but it’s got a fascinating shaped roof. It’s kind of domed or domed with a little bit of wave. It makes you wonder how it’s standing up like that.

    Me: Oh, okay.

    Jamie: And tons of glass. Tons of light coming in. Very unique. Almost reminds me of an observatory, but on a way huger scale. And he says there are places, he’s saying the word, but I don’t get it! It’s the name of the building. It’s some name for the building. You go in and you, um—

    (Long pause)

    Jamie: Sorry. It’s more images that words right now, so I’m trying to watch and then know what I’m about to explain, because I don’t know what it is. I know I’m in a room structure, but there’s something about it where you can transport yourself.

    Me: Hm!

    Jamie: Time. Space. Cuz I know that the body, itself—the spirit—can think. It’s driven by attraction and it can go where it needs to go or wants to go, and that’s how spirits travel. But he’s talking about going to other universes and galaxies.

    Me: Is it like a portal? Is that what you’re saying?

    Erik: Yeah, we can say it’s like a portal, but it’s not electronically driven. Nobody goes, “What’s your destination please, Sir” and then they pull a switch.

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Me: Beam me up, Scotty! Well, can you do that outside of the building? Aren’t you able to think about another galaxy and be there?

    Erik: Well, yes, but this is the building where we learn about these other galaxies or remember them, because there is so much—there are infinite amount information and knowledge. It’s not like we carry that all around in our consciousness. So, when you wanna go and learn about a new place—it’s not really learning. It’s just recalling. Pulling the information back in.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik:  It’s almost like trigger rooms. You know, you go into a room and you go, “I remember this place. Of course. It’s called this, and this is where it’s located in the stars.”

    Me: So it reinserts or you reinsert into your consciousness that bit of information of those memories.

    Erik: Right, and you have to have that clarity before you can transport yourself to that place.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: Because if you’re not clear, you ain’t going to get there. That’s stupid.

    Me: Yeah. You have to know—

    Erik: It’s like saying, “I want a sandwich” and like, what the fuck are you going to get then? You didn’t specify ham, cheese, lettuce and tomato. You’re just going to get this shit that you created. Then you’re going to be disappointed and you have to think about what sandwich you really want, so…

    Me: Exactly. All right.

    Great. Now I’m starving.


    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

    Love and light,


  • February19th


    Hey Erik.  Erik refers me to the blog to catch up on the past few entries.  This morning, and over the past few weeks I’ve been having “background” conversations with Erik about suicide, and I was really on the fence with writing about it publically.  Erik points at the blog and is like, “Look, it’s already being discussed.  Chime in!”

    Okay, so my own mind has been swinging on observing different cultures’ attitudes towards suicide currently and throughout history, and the outcome of those beliefs, positive and negative.

    In North America, we live in a pretty suicide-taboo culture, and I’m not saying that’s good or bad.  I know there can be great harm to the surviving friends and relatives if they believe that their dead loved one continues to suffer on the other side.  It’s the negative fallout of believing that these souls “go to hell”.

    The other extreme is a culture that readily accepts and even bestows honour on suicide.  Grieving widow commits suicide?  Good for her, she must have really loved her husband to follow him to the afterlife.

    See what I mean?

    So this morning I was thinking about the “Miracle of Life” conversation with Erik and I asked him what he thinks about all this, and I tossed in the controversial issue of assisted suicide for people with “terminal” illness.

    Erik says,  Okay can I talk now?  (teasing, because my mind tends to get very busy when I think about this topic, and he’s shoving aside my brain chatter like he’s elbowing his way through the crowd, exaggerating the effort he’s making to talk to me through my busy mind.)  It’s like a club in here!

    Okay so the short answer is that it varies for every person, and as soon as you have a law (cultural or state law) that pushes things one way or another, there’ll be (potentially negative) consequences.  I stick with what I said (in Miracle of Life) that life is so much fucking hard work to even GET a body, to get born, to grow up – it’s a damn big risk you’re taking if you decide to end your life.  You may just end up wanting to go right back in.  (Pulls a quote from my mind where Sylvia Browne declares that ALL people who commit suicide are directly looped back into life.)

    So, are you saying that’s true?

    Yeah, a lot of people DO just end up going back in, because they wanted in for a REASON.  Say the God thing.

    Ha.  Okay, I tend to edit out the religious stuff – but the whole statement from Sylvia Browne is that people who commit suicide are looped back into life because they’re not allowed to break a contract with God.

    So yeah, call it God if you want.  And remember that every person is a part of (shows me the donut universe) and that you had a reason for coming into life in the first place.  The thing about life is, yeah, you can sometimes bite off more than you can chew, and that’s what reincarnation and re-reincarnation is for.

    Re-reincarnation?  Oh yeah.  That’s an earlier conversation about living out all the variations in ONE particular lifetime, so your life path isn’t just a straight line, it’s more like a tree branching outwards.  Re-reincarnation is my own word for it.  Erik’s pointing me to previous entries in the CE blog with Jamie, where they’d also spoken about “going back in time” and he says, This is basically the same thing.  You can use your girly term if you want.  I’d say something like (puffs up in his He-Man costume MASTER REINCARNATION!!!!)

    This is a throwback to “masters of the Universe” conversation too.  DAMN Erik, I’m going to have to find a lot of past entries this time!

    Yeah, girl!  I’m puttin’ you to work! 

    (Erik shows me the pain and turmoil that this concept can bring up for people who’ve lost a loved one, thinking “there’s this branch where s/he is still alive!  Why can’t I become aware of that!?) 

    So, say you’re on a branch where (Erik’s still alive.)

    Well, some trees get to be huge twisted old oaks, me, I’m just a bush.  (winks)

    You can imagine the visual he gives me with “bush”.

    I’m going to over-explain Erik here while he rolls his eyes at me:  The tree / bush thing (okay, that’s a nice visual for tree!  Thanks, man, I haven’t seen your imaginary penis in a while.  Yeah well I wouldn’t want you to forget what one looked like!)

    Another interpretation of that would be using the “life plan” idea – you have a life plan that has the potential to live to be 100 years old, and plenty of branches where the lifespan is 80s and 90s.  The “bush” thing is the lifespan potential is much shorter, and Erik’s saying he’s a bush.

    Next Erik shows me a guy shouting, “Am I a tree or a bush?  A tree or a bush???”

    He says, If you have to ask, you’re a tree. 

    Okay, so here’s where it’s going to get real.  I’m gonna give you a list of things that make people feel depressed and hopeless, and a lot of it is bullshit.  It’s not even real.  So here goes:

    News.  Yeah, I’m not fucking kidding.  When you’re only hearing about the bad shit in the world, why the fuck would you want to stay living in it???  Keep in mind that a lot of the news is bullshit, and they gotta do a lot of digging and harping over and over again on the negative things just to fill a news show.  It’s a lot like advertising – it’s so repetitive, it sticks in your (shows me the brain and the series of neurons that have been stimulated so many times with the repetition that the negative thinking becomes reflex and habit.)

    They’re trainin’ you like Pavlov’s dog, yo.  Bitch, it’s time to get real. 

    Did you just go gangsta on me?  Did you try?

    Okay, so there was this short and hilarious exchange of “I am so gangsta! Do I need to get Biggie?” and then I see Biggie, mostly his face in a super-close up where despite himself his serious countenance cracks into a grin and he shakes his head like, “I can’t take you seriously, Erik, I tried to help you out!”

    Erik plays the song, “Where is the love?”  See, that’s exactly it, right there.  If you don’t see the love, you gotta start looking for it.  A lot of how you see the world, how you experience your life is habit.  Start thinking about the things that influence your habits, especially your thought habits.

    Okay, second risk factor, are you ready?  Being Young.  There is nothing as judgmental as a damn teenager!  That’s why parents of teenagers deserve medals!  Thing is, young people in their teens and twenties can be really harsh with the world and with themselves.  It’s too easy to be unforgiving of the people in your life (shows me angry / revenge suicide liked to immaturity) and it’s really tough at that age to be forgiving of yourself when your whole life’s about meeting other people’s expectations.

    Third risk factor:  Being middle-aged.  You know, that whole mid-life crisis thing.  It’s like being a teenager all over again, and this time you might be tempted to judge your life as a failure if it didn’t turn out a certain way.  A lot of triggers like divorce, losing a job – that can get you thinking like this.  NO ONE CAN FAIL AT LIFE!!! 

    Fourth risk factor:  Bring old.  This is like, the hidden statistic.  A lot of people don’t look too closely or think about it too hard when an old person dies.  This is why (those against assisted suicide) have a really good point, because old folks, (Elders) don’t get no damn respect anymore!  They’re not valued in the community for being the against-all-odds SURVIVORS they actually are!  And that can really make you feel bad.

    Now, I’m of course skipping over all the other stuff (that’s been discussed in conversations with Jamie and Robert) the mental and physical imbalances / illnesses that  contribute to this conversation, and I’m skipping the addictions stuff, which makes it even harder.  I’m just talking about those things that affect EVERY SINGLE PERSON ALIVE.  Remember the first thing I said – the short answer:  it varies for every person.

    I take a second to think about this whole piece and I just look at my hesitancy in pursuing this topic.  Erik says, It’s because you’ve got this (shows me one hand on the ground, one hand lost in the clouds and this sense of being stretched between them both.)  You’re not afraid of the dark side, and talking about it doesn’t have to create more bad stuff – the point of talking about this here is to release / dissipate the bad stuff!  Refusing to talk about it or look at it is actually giving it power, (shows me being annoyed when I listen to hyper-positive radio shows.) 

    That’s why being happy-happy-joy-joy all the time is really just this expression of fear!  It’s about finding the balance between being at the mercy of every negative news story and actually being (translates as “an angel for good”). 

    It’s about talking / observing / studying without being an asshole, without being invasive or bossy, but also really allowing yourself to experience (shows me a black ocean swelling up and down, meaning the waves of negative events) without drowning.

    Erik puts on his Tarzan costume and beats his chest with a jungle yodel, signaling the end of the conversation.

    Thanks, E.

    Here are links to the entries referenced:

    Kate is a spirit medium and animal communicator located in Tofino, BC.  To learn more about her and her work, please visit her professional website: and her personal blog:


    Here are a few reminders for you guys:

    I have a speaking event at the Edgar Cayce center in Houston on Saturday, 2/22 at 11:00 AM CST

    I also have a book signing event at the Barnes and Noble bookstore in the Woodlands on Sunday, 2/23 from 2-4 PM CST. There won’t be any speech. I’ll just be sitting at a desk answering questions, signing books, etc.

    I’d also invite you to buy the book if you haven’t already done so. Here’s the Amazon link, but you can get it pretty much anywhere.

    My Son and the Afterlife

    If you do buy the book, please consider passing it on to friends and family members who you think my benefit from what Erik has to say. Thanks in advance, guys!




  • February10th


    Happy Monday everyone! I’m still transcribing my first session with Robert as well as the Ask Erik answers to the winner of that submission. It takes a long time with these fingers which, for some reason, seemed to have turned into nubs with a mind of their own or fat little Vienna Sausages that can’t seem to avoid typing 2 to 3 keys at once. Indecisive wieners. Hmm. 

    Of course, children have always been so dear to my heart even after raising five of them through the teenage years. That’s why anything Erik says about child spirits perk my interest. Erik adored children so much. The last joy he had just 30 minutes or so before he took his life was playing peek-a-boo with his niece, Arleen, through the posts along the stairwell. It was a half-hearted attempt at best.


    Me: How are children’s souls treated when they die? Do they grow up there? Can they be any age they want including an adult, and who takes care of them? Maybe I should have done these one at a time, but go ahead. Let’s see what you remember.

    Jamie (giggling): First he made a smart-ass comment that I refuse to say!

    Erik: Children are treated like spirits. They’re treated like anyone else that passes away.

    Jamie: The only difference he can think of is if the child–


    Jamie (to Erik): So we could say… Give me some examples.

    Erik: Okay. If the child’s spirit is a baby and dies very young or dies in the belly from miscarriage or abortion, cord strangulation, stillbirth, anything like that, that’s such a short life.

    Jamie (to Erik): What’s a short life?

    Erik: Pretty much from zero when the spirit decides to enter the body and I’ll say five. Five years old.

    Jamie: He calls that a short life.

    As a parent who’s lost a son, I say when I survive my child, theirs is a short life.

    Erik: A short life means that the child hasn’t been influenced by the culture or society to let go of the beliefs that they came in with.

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: So, their connection to the afterlife is still pretty strong. If they’re passing from five and below, they pretty much know their shit, so when they get back, everyone’s like, “Hey, you’re here again! How have you been?” And they have that calmness, that knowingness, that familiarity. There’s really zero trauma. Zero trauma.

    Yeah, for them, but…

    Erik: Because they’re like, “I was just here! Hey!”

    Me: It’s like one of those revolving doors in a high rise.

    Erik: Yes, and, if they choose, they can stay that age or they can grow from that age and grow with the family annually to be a part of them. For me, I like being my age. I think I’m staying this way. In fact I think that if I got older, I’d look pretty stupid cuz my maturity level is not going to go beyond what it is right now.

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Me: That’s probably true!

    Jamie: So, he would look like he didn’t have all his marbles together.

    Me: Who said he did?

    (Pause as Jamie smiles and moves her head and body as if she’s either trying to follow Erik’s movements.)

    Jamie (to Erik): What are you doing?


    Jamie: He’s checking his pockets. He’s pretending to dig through his pockets to find his marbles as proof to you that he had them all.

    Me (chuckling): That’s a good one. All right, so, what about babies when they cross over? Does somebody have to take care of them if they want to, if they want to remain a baby?

    Erik: Yeah, if they want to stay a baby and grow, it’s not like in humans though, Mom. It’s not like they need to be fed or they need to be dressed or they need to be protected.

    Me: But nurtured, right?

    Erik: Sure. Nurtured. Absolutely. But the things that you think of like sleepless nights and rocking and stuff like that, that’s not what we mean when we’re babied.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: It’s kind of like, just thinking of it in terms of size, just being small or simple. Simplicity. Then we grow into accepting more knowledge.

    Me: Who takes, uh, is there a place like a nursery where they take care of them or do the deceased relatives take care of them or what? I mean, they just don’t go crawling around with a diaper on out in the ethers!

    Erik: No, no, no. No diapers needed. Wherever they think they want to be, they go. They have the same intelligence as an independent spirit would in the afterlife. They’re not helpless. They are not helpless at all.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: They can communicate. They might not have had the English language on Earth, but they can speak loud and proud as soon as they let go of their body!

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: There’s nothing that’s being mistranslated. What they might want, like you said, is nurturing, companionship.

    Me: Yeah.

    (My retorts show that I have a great deal of contribution to the conversation.)

    Erik: Commonly, it’ll be from those who have passed away in that family structure, that lineage. If that’s not there, it’s the guides of the parents.

    Me: Okay.


    Erik: So, the family unit still stays together until time passes, and then that child can decide, are they going to stay and kind of—

    Jamie (to Erik): Linearly? Is that a word? Lin-e-ar-ly. (She over-pronounces the word as if to keep herself from stumbling over it. Sometimes when Jamie channels, it’s like she forgets words. That’s because they go straight from the spirit through her mouth, bypassing the brain. She rarely remembers any part of these sessions.)

    Erik: —play out that life with the family that they tried to come [into], or are they going to kind of remove their energy from it and place themselves into another lifetime?

    Me: Okay. Interesting. Now, why are children and babies and pets—why are they able to see spirits sometimes, and why does that eventually fade away? I suppose they fade away because they—at least the children and babies—get indoctrinated by the parents, right?

    Erik: Yep. They tell them, “Good!” “Bad!” “That’s not right!” “That’s wroooonnnng!”

    Jamie laughs.

    Me: Well, why are they able to see spirits?


    Erik: Pure energy.

    (Long pause)

    Me: Can you make that a whole sentence, please!

    Erik: Cuz they’re not getting fucked up or mucked up by other belief systems.

    Me: So, everybody, who doesn’t, uh, I mean if I didn’t have a belief system and wasn’t all messed up or “tainted” would I be able to see spirits?

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: Like babies do?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: Okay. Interesting.

    Erik: That’s why pets, cats and dogs, continue to do it. Because they don’t sign up for our belief system.

    Me: That’s true. I see my cats; they look up into this empty space and purr or keep following something with their eyes. Same thing with Bella, my dog. She’ll bark at the stairway even though it’s empty. Nobody’s there, except maybe Erik.

    Erik: That’s me.

    Me: Of course it is!


    Teasing Arley

    Teasing Arley

  • December21st


    I know I don’t often post on the weekends, but my sister, Teri, emailed me this story that I found so intriguing, I couldn’t resist. I think every skeptic, including atheists, should read it. It’s all about perspective, people!

    ~Preparing to Be Born~
    In a mother’s womb were two babies. One asked the other: “Do you believe in life after delivery?” The other replies, “Why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later.”  “Nonsense,” says the other. “There is no life after delivery. What would that life be?” “I don’t know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths.” The other says “This is absurd! Walking is impossible. And eat with our mouths? Ridiculous. The umbilical cord supplies nutrition. Life after delivery is to be excluded. The umbilical cord is too short.” “I think there is something and maybe it’s different than it is here.” The other replies, “No one has ever come back from there. Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery it is nothing but darkness and anxiety and it takes us nowhere.” “Well, I don’t know,” says the other, “but certainly we will see mother and she will take care of us.” “Mother??” You believe in mother? Where is she now?” “She is all around us. It is in her that we live. Without her there would not be this world.” “I don’t see her, so it’s only logical that she doesn’t exist.” To which the other replied, “Sometimes when you’re in silence you can hear her, you can perceive her. I believe there is a reality after delivery and we are here to prepare ourselves for that reality.”

    Babies  in Womb

    Since I’m not going to post until the day after Christmas, I’d like to wish you all a wonderful holiday. Think of your loved ones, because they’re thinking of you.

    I also want to remind you of my interview on the Bob Charles Show tomorrow at 2:00 PM CST. If you’re interested in listening, put it on your schedule and click HERE!

    You can ask me anything!
    Our Studio Prime Skype is “kinetichifi”


  • November5th


    Since the first post is so short and the second one seems to be a good segue, I’m giving you another two-fer.

    Me: How do know that you’re one of the rare people whose suicide is their predetermined exit point or one of those who are not?

    Erik: There are a lot of people on Earth that kill themselves to say, “Fuck you” to a lover or “Fuck you” to a job or the government. It happens.

    Me: Well, what percent of the cases is it their destiny like part of their contract as it was in your situation?

    Erik: Most of them it’s in their contract, so 75% maybe. There are so many, in this nation and across the world that do it for the wrong reason.

    Me: Wait, I thought you said before that 70% or so were not supposed to do it, like it wasn’t their destiny.

    Erik: Yeah, you’re right. I meant the opposite. Reverse that.

    He must not have had his coffee today!

    I laugh.

    Me: Now, this one guy says, “I feel like I’ve achieved my life’s purpose. I’m tired and I just want to go Home.” Does this sound like it’s his destiny?

    Erik: Yeah. They’re done. They’re not doing it to jab someone, to rob someone of something, to say, “Fuck off.” They’ve done everything that they’ve willingly wanted to do and go check out. You know it’s sad that he doesn’t want to stick around and play. There’s so much to play with.

    Me: Why do some people choose that? Why couldn’t they put in their contract to get run over by a bus? Certainly that’d be easier for their family and friends.

    Erik (with just a touch of sarcasm): Yeah, that bus death is certainly better.

    Jaime bursts out laughing.

    Me: Yeah, I know. But what about having the contract to just have a heart attack or die in their sleep of a stroke.

    Erik: No, but Mom that robs the person of having the conversation and the challenge of life and death.

    Me: Ah! True.

    Erik: If it’s going to be their decision, they need to sit down with it.

    Me: Okay. Anything else on that?

    Erik: Nah.


    Me: This blog member writes, ”We can’t imagine how special and meaningful all of our lives on Earth are, even the mundane or “bad” ones. Frequently it’s all good, and yet spirits you channel seem regretful about what they learned or didn’t learn and are sometimes resentful of the people that let them down. As someone who’s made many, many mistakes in this life and let people down myself, I guess I want to know if there’s forgiveness for those of us who support others poorly, who weren’t very loving or compassionate or conscious on the individual soul level. When does that forgiveness mainly come into play at the higher level from beings closer to Source? Erik has mentioned his disappointment in classmates and friends who weren’t very honest and loving, so I imaging other spirits are the same, even when they return Home. At the same time, I think many of us did poorly out of ignorance of how to be better.” I don’t remember you complaining about those people when you passed away. Do you know what he’s saying?

    Erik: Yeah. Overall, that forgiveness that you’re looking for is going to come from yourself. I mean, God Source is loving you no matter what you’re doing whether you think it’s good or whether you think it’s bad—your own judgment in your own fucked up way. You don’t get there and go, “Oh, he’s so happy I was an asshole!”

    Jamie (to Erik): You should do that more often. That’s funny! It’s like old Jewish, nasally—it’s kind of bad to describe it that way, but it was really, really nasal. (Giggling) I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before. Funny. “Oh, he was so happy I was an asshole.”

    I chuckle.

    Erik: It doesn’t work that way and it’s a spirit talking about their own regret and sorrow for how they behaved on Earth, that’s their own journey. No one here is going to go, “Eh, they didn’t do it right. They’re going to get punished.” There’s no punishment system, and then people think, “Ah, I can do whatever I fucking want. I can leave when I want; I can come when I want; I can destroy.” Nah you can’t, cuz watch, you will feel like a piece of shit for a really fucking long time.

    Me: Wait. When you get over there?

    Erik: Yes. The clarity you get when you arrive over here, it will fuck with your soul, man. So go ahead. Misbehave. Go against what you feel is right for you or best for you and then see how it feels when you get here.

    Me: But I thought there was no space for negative emotions.

    Erik: You can have them for yourself, Mom. They’re not passed around like some disease like they are on Earth, you know, “I’m going to guilt you into doing this. I’m gonna punish you for saying that.” That shit doesn’t exist here. But if you wanna feel guilty for something that you’ve done, go ahead. We’re not going to tell you that you have to feel a certain way or behave a certain way.

    Me: Well it’s still a negative emotion.

    Erik: Yeah, and it’s really hard to maintain that emotion here.

    Me: Ah. So you’re in a lower vibrational frequency when you have those emotions over there, and when you unattach yourself, disconnect yourself from those emotions, you’re in a higher vibrational frequency?

    Erik: Yeah. Yeah. Think of it as a weight lifter. You know, those big, beefy, hunky men.

    Jamie and I burst out in laughter.

    Me: Gross. I hate that.

    Erik: They lift up those gigantic weights, you know, and they can’t hold onto them forever. So, that’s the imagery you can have for the difficulty in handling the denser vibrations in Heaven, in this higher dimensional plane. And again, higher doesn’t mean better.

    Me: Exactly.

    Erik: So stop, people. Stop your judgments.

    Me: I love your analogies. They’re so awesome, Erik. That’s what makes you such a good teacher.

    Jamie (whispering): I know! I know!

    Me: Is she saying that or are you saying that?

    Jamie: I said that.

    Me: I thought he was breaking his arm, patting himself on the back


    PENCIL THIS IN ON YOUR SCHEDULE! I’ll be a guest on Peace World Radio at 11:00 PST. My host will be Kristina Jansz. I’d love for you to join us! To listen live, go HERE at the scheduled time. It can also be heard at a later time by going to Peace World Radio’s Library of Past Shows HERE.


  • October14th


    This past weekend was a tough one. I buried Erik four years ago Saturday. I miss him a lot and I’m still feeling down in the dumps today. I hate this time of year with his birthday the end of September, his death the first part of October and his burial mid-October. Fall used to be my favorite season. Not any more. 

    Me: Okay, here’s another one:  I’ve heard Erik and other spirits says that “accidents” can happen where someone can die at an unplanned time, not a planned exit point. Can someone also contract a disease such as cancer that was not in one’s life blueprint? Like, what if you were designing a life without too many planned details, and you plan to live to a hundred, but when you got in, you found that you loved seafood and ate it every day and had a slightly high mercury exposure not anticipated in your plan. Could you get cancer at an early age and die from that?

    Jamie (laughing): Erik shouts out, “Guess who loves seafood!”

    I laugh.

    Jamie: Obviously this blog member.

    Me: Exactly.

    Erik: Yeah. Yeah, you can totally. It’s so funny. You know, in humans, we kind of focus on the negative, but this shit cracks me up. There are a bunch of people right now on Earth who are claiming to be the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. I think it’s really funny, you know, we got one in Europe; we got one in Australia and it’s all wonderful and the whole Mary Magdalene thing, it’s just great, because when you reincarnate your obviously going to reincarnate as someone awesome (obvious note of playful sarcasm). Well, where are all the fucking Judas’s? How come nobody’s stepping forward and saying, “I am the reincarnation of Judas.” You don’t, right? Because that’s a bad dude, and you’re not going to be shouting out or anything because your fucking judgment is so off. That’s like you say you’re going to make a contract when you come back into life and all this contract has when is your death, what kind of disease, what kind of lessons you learn, duh, duh, duh. Why are we all looking at it as negatives? Let’s say you came in and you wanted to live a short life, right?

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: And then at age six you’re supposed to be checking out at age seven, but you say, “This is just fucking sweet! I’m going to stay.”

    Great vocabulary for a six year old.

    Erik: And you choose not to drown in the ocean that day. You get revived and live another fifty years. That’s the beauty. It doesn’t always have to the negative end. It could be a positive end, and yes, you have free will. You create your life. You can add to your recipe whatever you see fit, and most of the time you’re adding unconsciously.

    Me: Ah!

    Erik: Because we’re not taught to live a conscious life, which—

    Jamie bursts out laughing.

    Jamie: I’m sorry. He kind of did a very professional bow, like he stood up rolled his hand in front of his belly in a circle and bowed.

    I giggle. I can just see him.”

    Erik. (In a supercilious voice): Like my dear friend, Deepak Chopra, reaching people to live consciously. This is changing and shaping the contract that you created before you came in. You were in control before you came into this life, and you’re still in control when you’re living it. And guess the fuck what?

    Jamie giggles.

    Erik: You’re still in control after you leave it. What makes you think that because you wrote something down, you have to play that shit out to the same degree that you planned it before you even got into the damn shoes? You guys are gluttons for punishment, man!

    Me: So we can do the improv thing, huh?

    Erik: Yeah!

    Me: Comedy improv. So what about the guy who was supposed to live to be a hundred? On a soul level, on a conscious level, he was like—

    Erik: He’s just not taking care of his body!

    Me: Oh, okay. All right. So, it’s all just free will.


    Don’t forget to sign up for Jamie and Erik’s weekend in Atlanta February 7-8!


  • August24th


    I’m sitting here typing on my Mac here in a Best Western Hotel in the piss ant town of Cresson, TX. Pretty much an intersection, a gas station, and a liquor store (Thank God. I need my Cabernet!) Why, you ask? I’ve asked that same question for the past couple of days.But I have to show solidarity for my man. This is a motorcycle race weekend and he feels compelled to drag is knees on asphalt and defy death and avoid keeping the orthopedic doctors from taking his money. (Yawn) Actually–and this is pretty ironic–I had to go to the local ER to get a splint because of super severe extensor digitorum longus tendinitis. (There will be a short quiz on this later.)

    Me: What about suicides? A lot of people think that suicides got straight to Hell. Obviously you didn’t do that, but…Tell me more.

    Erik: Yeah, maybe if there was a Hell, I probably would have skimmed it a little bit.

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Jamie: He’s teasing.

    Erik: First of all, there is no Hell. Using the term in general, God loves everybody and it’s not in every culture. IF you do the research, suicide is seen as a negative. I can’t grasp the concept of why people want to judge other people’s actions. I know it’s a very tender subject. Anyone who’s watching—don’t you know that I know that more than any other person out there? I’m the one who did it. I’m the one who succeeded. Don’t you think I know what it takes to get there? So most people on Earth would put suicide under murder, under rape. These are things that mankind cannot embrace—cannot even see it as acceptable or understood. I’m not here to change your mind on that. If I was here to change you mind about it and preach to you, then I’m just as bad as the next person. It’s not about changing minds. It’s about embracing what you find to be your own truth. Just getting out and beyond that, just unzip out of your understanding of those terms, of suicide, the definition of suicide. Just unzip out of it for one second so I can talk to you.


    Erik: Thank you for unzipping.

    Jamie and I giggle.

    Erik: Suicide. I can speak from my example. For me, it ended up being a natural timing of death. It was a way of dying in my life just like cancer is, just like a car accident. There’s a certain kind of timing—we’ll call it timing—in life, and this timing is extremely graceful and flexible, but it helps build what the experiences are on Earth. And yes, it’s changeable, it’s flexible. I’m not saying it’s fixed in concrete, so please don’t take what I’m saying the wrong way. Now, those people who take suicide as a way out, and it’s not under that graceful and good timing—maybe they were supposed to struggle with that little bit longer before they followed through or live an entire life and die from a heart attack. I’m not one to sit around and say, “You were right and you were wrong” cuz you know what that shit is—total judgment, right? So, if you’re leaving your life no matter how you’re leaving your life—accidentally, by disease, murder or by your own hand, if you’re leaving your life and it’s your time, you’re gracefully accepted into the higher dimensions. It doesn’t matter how or why. It was the timing and your understanding of it.

    Me: And if it’s not your time?

    Erik: If it’s not your time or that you weren’t ready but you did it anyway or it happened to you anyway, you got some shit to work out. You got some experiences that have to occur on Earth that aren’t going to be able to occur because you’re not a player in it anymore. You removed yourself. So now you, in spirit, need to finish up those things and help that grace still stay in place. Then when you’ve finished that, you can say your work is done. But not everything is perfect timing.

    Jamie (laughing): He’s getting a little crazy trying to use the words again, like he wants to speak more emotionally without the language to it, but that’s not going to go well, you know, in a situation like this.

    Erik: We talked about it before that on Earth there are these concepts of being like you’re on a pendulum swing where one side is completely accurate and the other side is completely wrong, and the middle of the swing is on the fence. And when you, on Earth, look at a situation, you tend to go for “Was that the wrong thing to do” (Jamie mimics the swing of a pendulum stopping at its height on the right) “or was it the right thing to do?” (Jamie does the same thing, but on the left side.) All I’m going to ask you guys to do on Earth is: It’s okay to have your own opinion. It’s okay to find out and explore where you want to be on that pendulum swing. Living on one side or the other is not going to be the healthiest thing for you.

    Me: So, basically, suicides and gays are embraced even though, um, suicides who die before their time, there’s no judgment over there. They’re completely loved and embraced.

    Erik: There’s no judgment here. Absolutely. This place is only about unconditional love. Even just asking the question just sounds retarded.
    Me: Oh, thank you!

    Erik: Why would somebody die and be hated?

    Me: Thank you very much!

    Jamie laughs.

    Erik: No, Mom. There are other people out there asking the same questions.

    Me: I’m just kidding.

    Erik: You gotta look at, not just the content of your question, but you gotta look at it with nonhuman eyes. I mean, you’re looking at it with human language, human emotions, human opinion, and human judgment in a place that’s not even human!

    Here’s a short bonus post:

    Me: Can you work with your hands like build a deck or…

    Jamie (laughing): When you said, “Work with your hands” he kind of lifted a certain finger and said, “Yeah”.

    Me: Uh oh!

    Jamie: You got it? I’m not going to do it.

    Me: Yeah!

    Erik: Yeah I can do that. You don’t have to do it that way, but if that was something you were attracted to or it helped to ground you in your human life, you can create that situation for yourself in the afterlife.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: It’s not completely removed. You can—

    (Pause. Jamie looks like she’s a little frustrated.)

    Jamie: He’s doing the picture thing again. Apparently it takes a lot of focus. That’s what he’s showing me, to be able to have dense energies like that to where things can be touched, manipulated, handled, cuz most of the energy is shaped or changed by intent, thought or emotion. But yeah, you can have that. I know you’re not going to do that while you’re here so I don’t know why you’re asking that one!

    I would definitely loose some spirit fingers sawing the wood.

    Me (laughing): That’s true. You know what? I’m going to just create a La-Z-Boy there and kick back for a few millennia.


    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

    Love and light,



    Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...