Channeling Erik®
  • Death of a Child
  • May12th2015


    First a few announcements. You will notice soon that the archives have changed. Instead of listing them by month and year, they’ll be listed by title. That will make it easier to cherry pick the posts you want to read. Also, I finally figured out how to make the Lisa Williams channeling event into an audio only YouTube so you’ll soon see how Erik barges his way into the conversation. Persistent little devil. Last, there have been so many Erik Encounters posts that I think it’s been too overwhelming, so I want to post them only on the weekends. What do you guys think about that? It means that those in queue will have to wait a bit longer to see their stories published, but I promise they will. Keep those wonderful stories coming!

    This post came up in queue right after Mother’s Day. (Almost) perfect timing!

    Me: Here’s a question from a blog member. Why do we choose to be mothers?


    Me: I’m here to tell you that it ain’t easy!

    Robert: Erik looked over at Jillian.

    Erik: Do you mind if Jillian answers this question?

    Me: Go for it, Jillian! Hi, by the way!

    Jillian: Hello. How are you doing?

    Me: Fine. I can’t wait to meet you. Not right away, but…

    Jillian: I can’t wait until you remember that we’ve already met.

    Me: Cool thought!

    Robert laughs.

    Robert: She speaks so differently from Erik. Her energy is calmer compared to Erik. I get dizzy sometimes when I talk to him.

    Both of us laugh.

    Robert: But I still love him.

    Me: What’s not to love?

    Erik: I love me, too.

    Me: Of course you do.

    Robert: Jillian, by the way, always comes in when it’s about how to raise kids, help marriages, and all that stuff. She’s really good at that. Now I know why Erik brought her in. “Jilly.”

    Jillian: Well, in the simplest way I can put this, from a spiritual perspective, it’s to—

    Robert: She gives me everything at once, so I have to parse it out.

    Me: Help him out, Jillian!

    Robert: She is. She’s got such a pretty face, pretty smile. She’s very sweet looking.

    Me: Aw.

    Robert: Very elegant. She reminds me of Meghan Fox.

    Me: You struck pay dirt, Erik.

    Erik: She’s hot.

    Robert and I laugh.

    Jillian: The simplest answer is to create this connection on a spiritual level and to develop a deeper understanding of what it is to be connected. From the human perspective, there is no greater type of connection than between mother and child.

    Me: Yeah. Yeah.

    Jillian: You share the same blood; you even share the same cells.

    Funny she should say that because I just read about the scientific discovery of the presence of a child’s cells existing in its mother.

    Jillian: And this creates this bond, this connection, this awareness. It’s enhanced compared to external connections that have never existed within the mother. You know.

    Me: Yes I do.

    Jillian: And the pain of their loss can almost mean the demise of a mother.

    Me: Trust me, I know.

    Jillian: In many cases, it does mean their demise. With any kind of loss, a piece of our heart goes with them. The heart has to grieve over that loss and the big hole that’s there. When that happens to a mother, it’s like their entire heart has been taken.

    Me (tearing up): I know. I know.

    Jillian: There’s nothing but an empty spot in their chest.

    (Long solemn pause)

    Jillian: From a spiritual perspective, we understand through the contrast of that incredible pain what that connection is, how important that bond is.

    Me: Isn’t there another way that we can figure that out instead of going through all of that pain?

    Jillian: Right now humans are a very young species, and so they’re having to learn how to accept things. Physical and emotional pain are two of those things. They’re learning to accept that and the fact that it has the right to be. It’s only there to teach us. It’s not a punishment.

    Me: It feels like it sometimes.

    Jillian: I know it does, but it only feels that way because it’s so unbearably uncomfortable.

    I’d call it more than discomfort.

    Jillian: And that’s what I spend a lot of my time doing. I help mothers who have lost a child to get through that process. I’ve been helping you. Many times, I will come to a mother who has lost a child—and sometimes fathers, too because even though they haven’t carried a child, there’s still a bond there. Some men can develop a bond similar to the mother/child one. You’ve heard about how some men go through morning sickness when their wives are pregnant?

    Me: Oh, yeah.

    Jillian: That’s unique. What I will do with mothers or fathers is visit them. It’s easiest to do it while they’re asleep. Then I talk them through the pain.

    Robert: She’s showing me an image of a person lying down, sleeping, and she’s sitting at their bedside, and as they breathe in, she funnels this pure, white energy into them. Then when they breathe out, it comes out black. It’s the pain. That’s the way she helps heal the wound that’s there.

    That reminds me of that movie, The Green Mile, where the inmate sucks in someone’s bad energy and spews out a big, black cloud.

    Me: Right. Mine must be totally blocked. It must be hard for her to breathe that white energy into me.

    Jillian: No.

    I start to cry. Long pause as I gather myself.

    Robert: She’s so gentle.

    Me: What a great balance between you and Erik!

    Robert: For sure!

    I couldn’t resist adding a few quotes.

    This one makes me choke up.

    This one makes me choke up.


    I know that pain and that love so well.

    Ready for a little comic relief?

    Ready for a little comic relief?

    And exposed to the elements

    And exposed to the elements





  • April23rd2015


    Rune and I will be flying to Denver tomorrow morning to attend the Channeling Erik Weekend of F-ing Enlightenment. I’m so excited! Every time I go I think it can’t be better than the one before, and I am proven wrong. I’ll let you guys know all about it when I get back. I probably won’t publish a regular post tomorrow, but I’ll try to publish one of the Erik Encounters. Thank you guys for the awesome stories! If any of you others have a story to share, it’s super easy to do. Just click HERE and type away. Here’s Part Two of the series on children.

    Me: Hi Erik.

    Erik: Hi, Mama.

    Me: So let’s go on to ask more questions about children. When they’re in the afterlife, do they stay as children? If so, who takes care of them? Tell me about that.

    Erik: When they come into the afterlife even when they are infants?

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: Days old, months old, years old, they tend to stay that age until they’re comfortable with their environment, and then they allow what I call like the “mass knowledge” to kind of seep into them so that they can, as you might call it, grow up, but most of the time, if they enjoy being young or little, they’ll keep that appearance. If they’re infants, most of the time, in general, they enjoy staying with their parents through the process of grieving and understanding all of [what happened.] Then if they want, they’re going to look at getting into that family one more time. If they want to do that, they’ll stay little. They’ll stay as what we see in our heads as small, energetically small. If they’re older and they know they can’t won’t back into that family, many of them like to grow up with the family, so every year that passes by, they’ll get a little bit older, a little bit taller, and they change and grow with the family. They also take on the role of guiding their family. If they have other siblings, they love checking in on them, and they like being with their parents. If, let’s say there’s a situation where they didn’t really want to go back into the family—

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: —and they didn’t want to grow up with the family for whatever reason, then they’ll take the time to absorb that mass knowledge. A lot of you will call it the archives. I just call it, “If you want to know it, then you’ll go and learn it.” So they’ll start to do that and—

    Jamie (to Erik, smiling): No. Do you want to say that?

    Jamie and I chuckle. I have no idea what he told her, but it seemed worth a chuckle.

    Erik: They’ll kind of merge back into themselves. I know it sounds funny to say it like that.

    Me: It does!

    Erik: If we have all these other lifetimes happening, and we have all these incarnations—it’s not linear. It’s happening all at once—so if we’re relinquishing that life and we don’t care about playing it anymore, then we’ll kind of push that energy back into ourselves.

    Me: So this little infant, this three month-old infant is over there. Does somebody take care of them? I know that’s a job I’d sign up for because there are no diapers to change, but yeah, what about that?

    Jamie laughs.

    Erik: Most of the time, the ancestral line of the family they came into will have grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. to take care of them. There are all kinds of support systems in place already so it’s not like, “Oh, the nanny spirit is being called up to collect the baby.”

    I chuckle.

    Erik: It’s not like that at all. The baby is independent in and of itself. It doesn’t need to be fed; it doesn’t need to be groomed; it can already move and exist in and of itself.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: It wouldn’t be seen as infantile. When it crosses over, yes, because it’s coming away from that human experience, but as it absorbs its awareness of where they are, it starts to collect the mass knowledge and therefore doesn’t need anyone to provide care for them.

    Me: Right. Right.

    Erik: Unless it’s coming back into the family. Then we have spirits in place to help it incarnate. They’re already looking at, “Okay, can I get back in? Can I carry the same lessons? Can I carry over the same timing?” That’s all looked at in a way that acknowledges free will. So there are spirit entities to help with that, call them spirit counselors or whatever. (Throwing his hands in the air, leaning back and rocking from side to side) Labels, labels, labels, labels!

    Me: He hates labels!

    But you can’t be human without them. Sigh.

    Me: Are there any situations where a spirit will think, “Hey I want to take care of a baby” so they create themselves that job, and they have that agreement with the baby that’s passed?


    Erik: If you want to play that role, I mean, you can. Everything is possible here.

    Me: Well that’s true.

    Erik: But that’s a very human need. There are times when there is a spirit guide, angel, guardian, who helps the baby spirit through the pregnancy and being born if it’s difficult for them. You know, a lot of times, babies don’t enjoy that process. (Throwing up his arms and scoffing) Imagine being claustrophobic!

    Me (laughing): Yeah, really!

    Erik (curling up into a little ball): Tight, small, dark spaces. It takes time to condense your energy, condense your soul, get it focused to get into the body.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: I’m all for getting in there to be birthed, but sometimes it happens after birth.

    Me: Okay, right. They want to make sure before they commit, I guess. Do they often come back to us in the lifetime we live in the present? In other words, say Sally lost a child—

    Erik: Bobby.

    Me: Can it come back to her as another child or maybe as her sister’s child?

    Erik: Yes.

    Jamie: He was shouting out the name, “Bobby.”

    Me: Bobby, huh? Okay, we’ll work with Bobby.

    Erik: Sally lost Bobby. If Sally’s not able to have another child, and Bobby still wants to be in the family then, yes, there are many occasions when they’ll wait to become a grandchild or they’ll come through the sister, the brother to be a niece or nephew, and there are occasions where they’ll come through as the family pet, as well.

    Me: Wow! Fido.

    Bobby's back!

    Bobby’s back!



    By the way, guys, we just got through interviewing an Atlantean (not the Georgian kind) yesterday. Fascinating! I can’t wait to transcribe and post it. 

  • April22nd2015


    A lot of us have lost children, and, as I can attest, the pain is especially excruciating. To make matters worse, the healing seems to take longer than when we lose other family members or friends–not always, but generally. As for my journey through grief, this blog and especially the upcoming book has done a lot to heal me. In fact, I can now report that I don’t grieve over Erik’s death as much as miss him. I know he’s not gone. His body is. It feels like he’s off to some work-study program abroad. Actually, I guess he is. It’s just in another dimension. Plus he’s making all As in my opinion. I hope this post about children and their deaths helps some of you. 

    Me: Today we’re going to talk about a very tender subject and that’s children. I love children, and a lot of people ask what’s it like for children to be spirits? Hi, Erik.

    Erik: Hi, Mama. I love you.

    Me: I love you, too. Hi Jamie.

    Jamie: Hi.

    Me: So tell us as much as you can about it.

    Erik: Can I be included in being a child?

    Me (in a very sappy tone): Yeah, you’ll always be my baby.

    Erik: But I know what you’re talking about, Mom. You mean like under the age of, what, 15?

    Me: Yeah, maybe even younger than that. Let’s say ten and below.

    Erik: Ten and below.

    Me: Before they get to that annoying stage.

    Erik (laughing): The double digits age.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: So what do you want to know? If we’re talking about children’s struggles and deaths and processes like that, it’s so much easier for them than it is from 15 up.

    Me: Why? Why is that?

    Erik: Because they’re still connected to The Beyond. They still understand that there is a safety or some kind of security, a place for them to go and belong to. Mostly in these ages—and I’m going to talk in general because—


    Jamie: I don’t have any idea what he just said. It was a little mumbled.

    Me: He mumbles sometimes.

    Erik: In general, the way our culture is in America, it used to be that every child belonged to a religion and, from a young age, they learned what that religion was. They had a language for it. They knew that certain belief structure or system. Nowadays, not every child is taking that path. Most of them aren’t. That leaves them completely open to stay attached to the things they could remember before they came into this life and even stay attached to those memories up until the ages of 6 or 7. I’m picking those ages because that’s when they get into the public school system—

    Me: And become indoctrinated.

    Erik: Yeah. They get taught linear time, that one thing is based on another and so forth, and they start to let go of what they carried in and what they knew naturally belonged to them. They then start to believe that they’re inferior, that there’s an authority figure and that they need to report to someone. External pleasing becomes more important than internal pleasing. Before this age, during illness and pain, they don’t ask, “Why me?” They just don’t have that desire to understand. They just know that’s their body and this is what’s happening. They might need to understand the disease and the process of what’s occurring, but in the death process, there’s no fear built into it yet. They just see it as a part of something that they’re going to do.

    Jamie: He’s talking about documented cases of children with diseases who have transitioned, and it’s stated that the child would still be caring for everybody else around him, even the doctors, the nurses, the parents, letting them know that everything is okay with them.

    Erik: They show this amazing amount of strength and calm. But it’s not that weird for them to find that strength and perseverance. As adults, that’s what we’re taught is required to get through those times. Really, they’re just showing acceptance. That’s all it is. They just have it innately. I’m not saying this is just for those who aren’t trained in religious beliefs. That’s not true. I’m talking about anyone in any belief system up until about 6 or 7. Then when you get above that like ten, you’re going to get more of those, “Why me? Why is this happening to me? Why can’t they fix it?” They’ve already been in the system, and we’re training them to think they’re independent, in control and if they’re hurting, it’s because of something that they did. They didn’t please someone; they didn’t do something right, so they get this sense of a loss of control.

    Me: What’s it like for them when they cross over? They probably don’t have any kind of belief system to create their own afterlife.

    Erik: No, but most of them know what a party is!

    Me: Ah! Par-tay!

    Erik: And that’s normally what happens. The party.

    Me: Aw.

    Erik: If they have a disease, and they’re going in and out [of their body] they will have already had dreams and connections with loved ones in other dimensional planes. They’ll have that awareness. The same thing goes for infants who don’t have [verbal] language where they can’t talk to you yet. Little guys. Trust me; there’s a language there that you’re not getting as the mommy, as the daddy. When they go to sleep, the family members, the angels of loved ones are already working with them and taking care of them. When they’re transitioning, whether it’s from SIDS or whatever, they’re not having those fears or struggle or panic because death doesn’t have that meaning for them. It’s just a different process. They’re still living every moment in their curious life learning something new with acceptance. So when this process of death comes to them, they’re accepting of it. When they get to the Other Side, Mom, mostly it’s celebratory. They’re already remembering that they’ve been there before. There’s this familiarity. There’s no fear or anxiety or “Where am I! Where’s Mommy?” I’ll see that with older kids, you know, they’re like, “Why? Where am I?” and they panic, trying to get back into their body because they’ve been trained to think that, “Death is not successful. You have to be alive to be successful.”

    Me: Why do some people make it their spiritual contract to die young?

    Erik: It’s going to depend on the people who are around them in their family and their life. Normally, infants—innnn general—they’re letting go of their lives to make an impact on their families, for their families to understand death and separation, to understand love, the importance of living in the moment, living in the Now. That’s normally what’s going on in things of that nature. Rarely, the infant will choose to die to experience incompletion, you know, they started something that they couldn’t finish to understand this [concept.] But usually, that young, there’s not a—

    Me (rudely interrupting): Okay. What about in the cases of miscarriages and stillbirths?

    Erik: A lot of those are because of the physical body—not designing it properly. Those don’t come with a contract, per se, for the baby’s soul. That’s more of a contract designed by the mother. It’s for the mother to experience, “I’m not good enough. I didn’t make it [happen.]” So it’s really a self-centered lesson that has nothing to do with the baby’s spirit. In those cases, the infant’s soul is not inside or struggling with that [death.] They don’t experience the death process because they didn’t come into the physical body. We call that riding sidesaddle.

    Jamie (laughing): We do! The little spirit is sitting sidesaddle.

    Me: So in these instances, it’s teaching the mother something. Is the child here to teach the mother or parent something?

    In other words, is it a mutually designed contract?

    Erik: No, but the spirit will help with the lesson. It’s not there to teach, though. It’s not coming in with independent knowledge to give the mother. It’s coming in to give the mother an experience and helping her accept that her body has a level of intelligence in and of itself, so it’s not anything that she ate or did or didn’t do or didn’t know. There’s a lot of trust that needs to happen.


    Jamie (to Erik): Really?

    Erik: Sometimes a kid will come in. They’ll hop on a pregnancy—

    Jamie (laughing): His terms are so funny. Sometimes they make me stop.

    Me: Like hopping aboard a train?

    Jamie: Yeah, like, “Here I goooooo!”

    Erik: And they’ll follow through with the miscarriage so that the mother will trust the body better. In the second pregnancy, they won’t come into it with more fear. They’ll come in with, “Okay. The worst has already happened. Let’s go.” And when the baby comes the second time, the third time, the fourth time, there is this, “You have arrived” moment. “You are here, and you are special.” You are a survivor in a sense when really you just had a healthy normal pregnancy (or maybe it was a difficult but successful one.) This helps the child to build a certain bond with the mother.

    Me: Okay. That would probably be an even stronger bond, if that were possible, after the loss of other babies. The one carried to term would be very special.

    Erik: Yes, and some experience that train ride 4 or 5 times before having a full-term pregnancy.

    Me: We souls, we spirits, come into each other’s lives to teach something or to learn from each other, of course. Children must do the same thing, but do they teach us something different than an adult spirit would?

    Erik: Yeah!

    Me: Like what?

    Erik: There’s so much to take in on this!

    Me: Well, for example it might be a lesson in loss because losing a child is just so horrible. That loss is so much deeper than other losses. So would that be an example?

    Erik: That’s a great example. Trust. Trust is a huge one because this kind of trust between parent and child comes with a certain kind of knowing and understanding because, you know, you wanna hold tight, but at the same time, you can’t. You have to let loose. You can’t do both at the same time. There’s gotta be a middle, and in that middle is the perfect amount of trust. That’s what [the child] is giving.

    Jamie: Erik went on to talk about the beauty of having a child and not having a [verbal] language to communicate—just physical language, physical cues, noticing the smell, the look, everything else but the [verbal] language.

    Erik: Try that with your sweetheart or your lover later today. Pick an evening when you can’t talk and see how deeply [your connection] becomes.

    Me: Okay, that’s an exercise for all of you guys. We’re going to call this Part One. I don’t know. Y’all’s attention spans are probably too short to go on. I know you guys! You’re like me!

    A child's beautiful transition into Heaven

    A child’s beautiful transition into Heaven


  • February2nd2015


    Yesterday was a brutal day. A bittersweet one. We finally cleared out all of the yellow crime scene bags (and there were a lot of them) from Erik’s closet. In a way it was a relief, but I still had to cry because now I’ve let go of the last physical part of him. I really don’t feel like posting anything today.

    Hearing Erik’s voice always makes me feel better, so let’s have a little contest. Anyone who finds his voice on a YouTube recording (or any other type of recording) other than what’s already been found will receive a signed copy of the book to keep for themselves or pass along to others. You can let me know, timestamp and all) through my email,

    It comforts me to know that I have my lovely children and husband, so I’ll post their pictures here.

    My Grand daughter, Arleen

    My Grand daughter, Arleen

    My Youngest, Annika

    My Youngest, Annika

    My Eldest, Kristina

    My Eldest, Kristina

    Rune in His Norwegian Folk Dress (Bunad)

    Rune in His Norwegian Folk Dress (Bunad)

    Rune Doing What He Loves

    Rune Doing What He Loves

    The two photos below are of my third child, Lukas. He looks eerily like Erik.

    Lukas with the Babes

    Lukas with the Babes

    Lukas in Norway

    Lukas in Norway


    My second eldest, Michelle


    Despite the tragic loss of my son, I am truly blessed. My you are see the blessings in your life. They’re there whether you realize it or not.

  • June5th2014


    Blog member, Daniel Lucas, created the masterpiece below. How, I don’t know, but it gives me such a sense that we’re all family, connected. If you’d like a picture of yourself in the image, please send a good quality, bright photo to him at Thanks, Daniel!

    The Family

    The Family

    This is the continuation of Erik’s description of his death and the events that occurred in the moments that followed.

    Erik: Then I felt pulled. It felt like I was being pulled from the back of my shoulders. Not pushed, but, it’s kind of what I would imagine water being moved up a straw would feel like.


    Erik: It wasn’t like being abducted by aliens. You know like a UFO hovers over you and they like sssllrrrruuup (sucking sound), get sucked up. It wasn’t like that.

    Jamie (laughing): Erik, you’re so creative! He’s showing me the motion of being pulled backwards.

    Erik: It’s like being dragged out of the sea by your life jacket with one of those boat hooks. And the distance is about the same as from the water to the boat. It wasn’t very far. Maybe a few feet. It’s not like I went up, up, up into the sky.

    Me: Uh huh.

    Erik: I kinda expected that, though. But that didn’t happen. And it wasn’t like I got pulled into a different room. It’s like the room I was in began to change. It’s like when kids draw chalk on the sidewalk and then you take a hose to it or the rain comes and gently washes it away. It becomes a clean sidewalk again. The room I was in gently washed away, and I was in a different room.

    Me: Hmm. But did you come back to see when I came upstairs and came into your room? Anything like that?

    Erik: I know you were there. But really, that seems like 15 minutes after if happened.

    Me: Okay. Yes, that’s exactly when I came up to your room. So you were pulled away by your shoulders, and the room gently washes away. So when do you see me and then the police?

    Erik: Well, I saw it sorta from a different vantage point. It’s not like I was standing in the room.

    Jamie: Erik, how do I explain what you’re showing me?

    Erik: It’s not like I’m watching a TV. It’s not like I’m removed in that way. I was a part of it; I see myself in the room, but I’m not really part of that room at all anymore. It’s really hard to explain it in words, Mom.

    Me: Like you were behind the veil?

    Erik: Yeah, Sorta like that! You know how you can put a sheet over your body, but you can still see through it, but you’re pretending that nobody can see you?

    Me: Oh, yeah!

    Erik: That’s kinda how I viewed what took place.

    Me: How did that scene make you feel? Was it difficult to watch?

    Erik: At first I was a little confused why you were crying. I knew the police had to be there, but I really couldn’t have told you why. I just knew they had to be there. I knew it was right. But yeah, it was very painful for me to watch you break down like that. It was horrible, the most painful thing I’ve ever had to bear. I really didn’t think about how you would react. All I thought about was how I could get relief.

    Me: Well, we called them, you know, the Hedwig Village Police. Maria told us she heard a gun shot so we turned the car around and drove like a bat out of hell back, and we called 911. (Explaining to Jamie): Since we live in a small village inside Houston and have our own police department, they came right away. In fact, they almost beat us there.

    Jamie (giggling): He’s laughing that you called the village.

    Erik: Once that was taken care of, I saw my body being zipped up. Then it was carried out, but I can’t really explain where it went after that.

    Me: Well I guess at that point you didn’t follow it. You probably didn’t have much of an attachment to your body, an emotional attachment, I mean.

    Erik: Yeah, none. It’s like you always told me when I was growing up that I wasn’t my body, that my soul was separate from it.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Then, I remember the Light. It was really, really bright to look at, but there wasn’t any tunnel. No tunnel.

    Me: Okay, so the tunnel was probably just the physiologic thing you were talking about before?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: You probably died so instantly, that there was no period of slow oxygen deprivation to that part of the brain that causes the tunnel effect. Okay, so then after you saw the Light, what happened?

    Erik: After I was pulled away, watched the scene, and then my body got carried away?

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Well, for a while I didn’t leave the house. I didn’t go out into the yard or anything. So that’s when I started to check on people I knew.

    Me: Okay. Living people or deceased?

    Erik: Oh, the living.

    (Long pause)

    Me: For exaaaammmple? Miiiilking the cow, miiiilking the cow! (Coaxing more information from his was like pulling teeth!)

    Jamie: He’s showing me this image; it’s almost like going through a book.

    Me: Oh, okay.

    Jamie: you know, you flip one page, you see that person. You flip another page, you go see somebody else. He saw one of the friends. Male. A male friend that was close to him. Dark hair.

    Me: Sean, Valentin, Jonathan?

    Jamie: Does Valentin have a nickname?

    Me: I don’t know. Frenchie, maybe? He was French. Anyway, he was the guy who hung out with Erik a lot during the last year of his life.  One activity they enjoyed together was target shooting at the gun range. Erik was too young to buy a gun, and we didn’t even know he had one. Apparently, he traded in some of his possessions and asked an acquaintance of Valentin’s to buy one for him. But if it hadn’t been the gun, it would have been something else: a rope, pills. Kim once told us that he might try to kill himself, but that there was nothing we could do to prevent it. Of course I took him to a therapist once a week, a psychiatrist once a week, I tried to get him to do past life regression, everything. We just didn’t want that prediction to come true. But, sadly, it did. Valentin was his best friend toward the end and made his life so full of love and friendship. Now, Sean is one of his lifelong friends. We’ve know him since grade school, and I homeschooled him along with Erik for many years. So, they were very close, too.

    Jamie: No, he went to Valentin first. He didn’t check on Sean until later.

    Erik: Then I went to see Popi.

    Me: Yeah, Popi (my dad, Erik’s grandfather) told me you visited him, sat down in his lap and laid your head on his chest. That kind of freaked him out, because he’s a total atheist. He doesn’t believe in life after death at all.

    Erik: Yeah, and it was sort alike going to the house next door.

    Me: Wait, are you talking about my dad, Popi, or Pappa’s father in Norway?

    Erik: Your dad. Popi.

    Me: Well, I have to tell you, Erik, it really startled my dad. He called and said he was in shock and that he didn’t know what to think. I’m glad, because he’s almost 90 so…

    Erik and Jamie laugh.

    Erik: Then, I went to Norway to see Bestefar. Chilled with him a while.

    Me: Okay, so then what?

    Erik: Well, there was this really bright light that I didn’t really feel I could look at, cuz I’ve always been taught not to look at the sun since it might burn your eyes, you know?

    Me: Yeah, sure.

    Erik: But it didn’t burn at all. No tunnel, no upward and away motion. I was actually a little disappointed in that! (laughing) You know how when you come out of a movie theater after sitting in the dark and you come out into the bright-lit lobby? It takes a while to get use to it, to adjust. Your eyes adjust, and you begin to see you’re not alone.

    Me: Uh huh.

    Erik: And the odd thing is, I can’t tell you if I was inside or outside. It’s like I was just in a space.

    Me; How did you get to the Light from Norway? Were you pulled there?

    Erik: It’s weird. It’s like I just walked a few steps and got there. I just walked in the direction that I felt the pull was taking me. Let’s go back to the life jacket idea. It’s like I was being pulled and pulled toward and then into the boat, but while I was being pulled, I made those visits. I do all this stuff, and finally, by the time I’m done, I’m getting closer to the boat, and they pull me a few feet up into the Light and into the ALTERNATE DIMENSION. (He says this like Rod Serling would say “TWILIGHT ZONE” with an eerie and mysterious tone.)

    Jamie: He’s laughing hard!

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Me (laughing): Making a joke about it, huh?

    Erik: Of course that’s not what we call it when we’re here. You don’t even know what to call it! You just know you’re in the right place. That’s the only thing that matters, You know you’re in the right place. I knew I didn’t do anything wrong, that I was just in the right place.

    Me: Good. So who did you see over there?

    Erik: I remember seeing Aunt Denise first.

    Me: Yeah, that’s what you said through Kim. So, uh, how did that conversation go?

    Erik (chuckling): It’s so funny that you say conversation, because she had a mouthful for me!

    Me: Oh, boy! I bet!

    Erik: She went at me verbally. And frankly, I really felt like that was unfair, because she knew what was going on, and I didn’t!

    (My younger sister, Denise, committed suicide in 2003 after a life ravaged by severely brittle Diabetes. She walked with a walker, was fed by J-Tube directly into the small intestine, wore diapers and had to be catheterized three times a day. When she had a small bowel obstruction, they gave her blood that was Hepatitis C positive. Her nephrologist told her that essentially she was a goner because they couldn’t treat the Hep C without her rejecting her new pancreas and kidney.)

    Me: Yeah, because she killed herself too! Of course she was so debilitated by her disease so, no surprise there…

    Erik: Yeah, but over a period of time, again and again and again she would come at me with “what happened?” and “what do I need to do?” and “who should I console?”

    (I found this really funny, because our family took care of Denise; she lived with us. And she was such a busy body, always asking so many questions. We always used to tease her by saying, “Why say why; Try Bud Dry.” That used to make her laugh, plus it gave us all a short reprieve from the barrage of questions.)

    Me: Yeah, Denise was a bit of a Buttinsky, but in a loving way.

    Erik: But there were other people there, too. But no God on a throne. There were like six people there to greet me, uh, dressed in clothes.

    Me (chuckling): Nothing Greek?

    Erik (laughing): Yeah, nothing Greek.

    Me: No toga party, then? Dang! I remember those when I went to Rice University!

    Jamie laughs loudly.

    Erik: That was good, Mom! That was good.

    Me: Were they all departed loved ones of ours?

    Erik: Yes, and there were some I knew that I knew, but it was kind of like when you have a dream where you know you know that person, but in consciousness you can’t identify them at all.

    Me: Okay, wow, this is all so interesting. Well, I guess we should close now. But Erik, you know it’s your brother’s birthday today. Did you wake him up this morning or try to?

    Erik: I tried to, but he sleeps like a log.

    Me: That’s true! That’s true! Okay, well maybe you can give him a little surprise while he’s awake, then.

    Erik: Yep.

    Me: Give him some goosebumps like you do to me!

    Erik (chuckling): I do have some tricks up my sleeve that I’m going to use throughout the day!

    Me: Good!

    Erik: A special day!

    Me: Why do I always feel intense goosebumps more on my left side?

    Erik: Your left side is more sensitive than your right.

    Me: Oh, okay. Well, I love you Sweetie, and when I come over there, we’ve got some catching up to do! I’m going to prank you to no end, just like you do to Jason and Robert and me!

    Jamie and Erik laugh.

    Me: Well, I love you, Erik. I love you so, so much. I miss you. I miss you so, so much, Sweetie.

    Erik: I love you more.

    I find that very hard to believe.

  • June3rd2014


    This part of the channeling transcript was not at all easy for me. The graphic memories, the heartache, the sense of loss, it all flooded back to me like a tsunami of dread and despair. For that reason, I’ve transcribed just a portion of Erik’s description of his death. The heart can only endure so much pain.

    I do hope, however, that you can find some comfort in his words, particularly when you think of your own departed loved ones, because there are elements of peace, beauty and joy in death.

    Me: What did you notice after your death that was different for you, Erik? I know it’s different for each person, but as a general rule, what do most souls notice right away?

    Erik: Their bodies.

    Me: Yeah. You see your body? That’s the first thing you notice?

    Erik: No. The body… the way it feels. It’s crazy, Mom, because you don’t have any pain, but sometimes that doesn’t register until like days or weeks later, as Earth time goes. There’s no hunger or thirst. You’re never too cold or too hot. And some notice it right away, but for others, it’s like a few days after they go, “Hey, I don’t have any pain!”

    Me: Wow.

    Erik: Because some people have lived with pain for so long, they don’t realize when it’s gone.

    Me: Yeah. So what else? What other sensations do you notice right away?

    Erik: Expanded. You feel expanded and lighter. It’s like you’re not cramped into that tight space anymore, and you can fill any space you want. Also, one of the first things you notice is when you think of something…when you have a thought, you don’t get in a car and travel somewhere to see it or go get it. You just end up there. Like when I think of you, I’m there. When I think of Bestefar in Norway, I’m there.

    Me: Wow, so thought creates reality much faster there?

    Erik (laughing): Oh, yeah!

    Me: Must save on those plane tickets. No frequent flyer miles for you, though, Erik.

    Erik laughs.

    Me: But can you create a car or motorcycle or boat and travel that way if you want to?

    Erik: Yeah! Hell yeah! You can create anything. Just like humans can create houses and build their cars; we have the same capabilities here, but it’s done in a much different way. Easier and quicker.

    Jamie (laughing): He’s giving me this look like, “Oh, poor you!”

    Me: Us poor peons down here have to do everything the hard way, huh?

    Jamie laughs.

    Me: What about the body? After you leave the physical body and look down at your spirit self, do you still have a body of some sort like a “memory body?” Does your form seem solid to yourself, at least at first?

    (Long pause)

    Me: I mean, when you looked down on your, you know, your lifeless body, but then looked at your soul’s body, what did it look like to you?

    Erik: Mom, at that time, I didn’t even know to wonder if it was solid or not. It just wasn’t even in my realm of thinking. I was just too concerned about, “What’s gonna happen now?”

    Me (sadly): Yeah. Must have been scary for you, Baby.


    Erik: I know this sounds weird, but I didn’t have a lot of fear, because there weren’t those smells and sounds and sights and feelings that would create fear. It was actually extremely peaceful. And you know that one second felt like five minutes.

    Me: Okay. Which one second? When you pulled the trigger?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: Oh, okay. Did it hurt?

    Erik: I remember the sounds around me but not the pain. It’s like I heard the ricochet whizzing sound of the bullet after it went through my head.

    Me: Gosh, Erik, weren’t you scared when you were slowly squeezing the trigger? I almost feel like you probably weren’t sure you were actually going to do it until it was all over, like you didn’t totally make up your mind until it was too late. What were you feeling at that moment?

    Erik: That’s pretty interesting that you knew I pulled the trigger slowly.

    Me: Oh, I just got that. I don’t know. I just get the feeling you had not made up your mind until it was all over. Maybe you told me about your indecisiveness before in another channeling session, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t tell me you pulled the trigger slowly. That’s just what I get. Maybe it was channeled.

    Erik: That’s true, but I didn’t really think I would die from it.

    Me (somberly): Yeah, well, it was a 45 caliber hollow point. Oof.

    (Long, poignant pause)

    Me: What else do you want to share about death and the moment right after death, you know, what the soul realizes right after death?

    Erik: Well, definitely lack of pain, like I said. Ease of movement. How thought creates reality in an instant. Also these wonderful things are happening to you. There’s this full-on weakness that you have at first. For me, I relate that to—I don’t know how to maneuver this body. When I was alive, I would reach out, grab the can, open it up and drink it. I could feel thirst and take care of it. If I wanted to see my family, I could go call or come over or email. But now these patterns that I learned don’t exist anymore. They don’t work the same way.

    Me: Hmm. Wow!

    Erik: In the beginning, there’s this sense of helplessness. I’ve heard some spirits call it release, but you have to sorta relearn how to interact with people and stuff. Some spirits know how to do it right away. You know, entering a dream or moving something away or making something appear. But some of us just take longer before we able to do certain things.

    Me: To do what, exactly? Can you give me an example of something you’ve tried to do and it was difficult?

    Erik: I remember I tried to pick the gun up.

    Me (sadly): Um hm.

    Erik: I tried to move my face to help me.

    Me; Um hm.

    Erik: None of that worked. My hand just went right through everything. It penetrated, it had a sensation; it wasn’t like my hand was moving through air. I could feel density and texture. I could feel the emotion of what I was going through.

    Me: Did the emotions feel different?

    Erik: Yes, they did. It’s like they weren’t mine. Though I was looking at myself—I know it was me, but it didn’t feel like me at all.

    Me: Help me understand this. What emotions did you—your soul—feel right after death?


    Me: Besides, of course, helplessness and—

    Erik: Joy. Wait. I take that back. If I have to break it down in a sequence, I’m guessing the first feeling I had was peacefulness. Being at peace.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: I recognized I was at peace and felt joy. Then, when I saw that I was separated, you know, from my physical body, I felt I wasn’t solid, that’s when I went to go help myself, try to anyway. I only had time to try to help once. And I wasn’t afraid for myself, either.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: Because I felt fine!

    Me: Yeah. And then, did you feel like, when I went up there and found you, did you go through that, “Oh my gosh; what have I done” feeling?

    Erik: Not right away. At first I was really interested in finding out what was next. I didn’t do the “Oh my gosh; what have I done” thing until I realized that it was irreversible.

    Me: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so walk me through the sequence: you tried to grab the gun, then you tried to help yourself once, then what?

    Even as I proofread this, my stomach turns and my heart sinks to familiar depths. As I’m brought back to that tragic day, magical thinking takes over in that for a split second, I truly believe I can intervene as his finger slowly flexes around the trigger. God, if only I could create a time machine. What would I do? I’d make him do the past life regression that would have cast a light into his darkness. I would have insisted he join us for lunch. I would have wrapped him in my arms and kept him there forever no matter how hard he squirmed and protested. But alas, there is no time machine, and magical thinking is just that—illusion. Or delusion. I miss you, Erik.

  • May13th2014


    Jamie’s assistant, Amy, wanted you guys to know that there are a few spots open for the following channeling calls. All others are booked up.

    Griever’s Call June 2oth

    Erik’s Conference Call July 11th

    Griever’s Call July 18th

    This post was published just 4 months after Erik died. It makes me sad to read it because it reminds me of how deep and cutting my pain was at that time. Now, the pain has dulled, but I suppose it will always be my constant companion.

    Losing a child, particularly to suicide, is gut wrenching. It lends an entirely new perspective on the term, “a broken heart,” because every morning when I wake up and realize that ‘yes, Erik is still dead; it wasn’t all some horrible dream,’ I feel like a dagger has been plunged to the hilt into my heart. Since his death, it’s like I’ve lost a limb and must limp through life a broken woman. Some days I wonder how I can bear plodding through the decades I have left on Earth when every day that my son isn’t with me is like a bitter eternity. Some days, I long for death, but the love I have for my husband, my other children, my friends and the rest of my family plays tug-of-war with my soul. I must stay. I must love. I must endure.

    Of course I have many good days, but when I slip into a particularly dark place, Erik comes to comfort me. The other day he did just that. Here is just one story of the many miracles with which he graces our lives:

    Erik shot himself in the head in his bedroom. Finding him moments later was the most horrible experience I’ve ever had. For days, I couldn’t even go upstairs, much less return to that room. Then, I went through a phase when I wanted to be there all the time. I wanted to smell his dirty clothes. I cursed the fact that the sheets on his bed were changed minutes before his death, robbing me of the chance to soak in his scent, his essence. I tended to the makeshift altar on his desk by lighting the candles and rearranging the flowers that were slowly turning brown. I combed every surface, every wall to find the dent made by the wretched bullet that stole him from me forever.

    Now, I avoid the room again. Seeing the rough wood planks from which the carpet was removed, seeing the yellow bags the crime scene cleanup crew filled with his clothes, seeing his empty bed…it’s just too hard. We keep pictures of him around the house, but every reminder of his death is locked away in his room: the photo album from the funeral home, the keepsake box filled with sympathy letters, leftover programs for his memorial service, copies of our eulogies, they’re all in his room as unspeakable reminders of a life cut short. Erik’s room is a no man’s land behind a locked door that no one dares open. To open that door is to open painful wounds again.

    The other day, I felt particularly sad. As I sat on the couch sobbing softly, the housekeeper who comes once a week and has know Erik since he was 16 months old approached me quietly. She said, “Elisa, look what I found on the utility room floor.” She placed a little card in my hand. It was a card meant to be distributed to everyone at Erik’s visitation and memorial service providing information on how to leave an audio message, thoughts, prayers, remembrances, condolences.

    How could this be? These cards have been locked away in the leather keepsake box in his room upstairs. The door to his room has been closed for months. How did that card go from that box, from that room, all the way downstairs to settle on the white tile floor in the middle of another room?

    As I touched that card, Erik’s image appeared in my mind. However, this was no ordinary image. It was vivid. It was strong. It was tangible. And the smile on his face spoke volumes. It said, “Mom, I’m fine. I’m here. I’m as alive as I’ve ever been.”

    I’ve learned so much from the books I’ve read on how souls can manipulate energy to move material objects, even books explaining the physics behind the phenomenon. In a previous entry, I recounted how Erik said he was working on developing that skill so he can contact us in more tangible ways. That miracle proved to me that his practice paid off.

    A day destined to be sad had become happy. Thank you, Erik, my darling boy.

  • February27th2014


    Today is a very sad day. A friend that my daughter, Annika, has known since preschool died Friday in a very tragic way. She and our family were very close. She even traveled with us to San Antonio and Florida. I went to the viewing yesterday, and, as is always the case, it was clear to me that what remained of Emma was a shell. The spark in her eye that was her soul was gone. I plan to help with the wake, but, although I fully intended to, I just can’t go to the memorial service. It would remind me of Erik’s. My heart just bleeds for the family. I remember the call from the cornea donation place, having to pick out a casket, the corner decorations, the marker and its message, the plot, the clothes he would wear. I remember looking at his neck and getting a glimpse of the Y incision made during his autopsy. I remember caressing his hair only to have some of it come off, because they had to put color matched “fake” hair to cover up the bullet hole. It triggers so much pain, but I plan to take her mother under my wing and help her get through this. I know when Erik died there was no one there who had lost a child. 

    By the way, I forgot to tell you that Erik used to always wear the same kind of hat as that dude in the Believe video. He loved fedoras. I didn’t get that connection until after I posted the YouTube, but I think that’s pretty cool. Plus, the guy’s energy reminds me so much of Erik’s. 

    Here’s yet another neglected post. I think I have one more. Also, I just wanted to tell you guys that I just interviewed Farrah Fawcett and Meher Baba. I have to finish the session I’m transcribing now, but then I’ll get on these. Each of them takes me several days, because my days are so full of other things. I hope you look forward to them!

    Me: Okay. Anything about your growth? I’m not focusing on you, Erik. About you.  I know about your trying to understand the difference between participation and involvement thing.

    Erik: That is part of my growth.

    Me: Yeah, but how else are you doing there? Tell me your life over there. What’s going on besides just helping me? Now, for every one hour you talk about me, I want you to spend one hour talking about you!

    Jamie giggles.

    Erik: I did. I told you about how I’m learning how to be involved but not be involved.

    Me: Okay. Well, what else? What else is going on in your life?

    Erik: Oh, my god, that’s like been the biggest topic on my head for about two months.

    Me: Well, do you have any fun over there? What do you do with your day besides blog-related things?

    Erik: My fun is playing with my balls.

    Jamie (laughing hard): Oh, Erik!

    Me: Oh, god. Well, it always has been probably. (Sigh) What else, Erik?

    Jamie is still laughing.

    Me: By the way, a lot of people seem to have crushes on you, but I saw one comment in the Channeling Erik group, “Yeah, I always had a crush on him, but now I really do once I found out he had a big package.”

    Jamie laughs. I don’t know how much more of this she can take.

    Jamie: He’s just laughing. He’s pointing at his crotch and going, “That’s the ticket.”

    I giggle.

    Jamie (to Erik): You wish you knew how to use it! Next topic, Erik. Um, he’s showing me a picture of being on—it’s a motorcycle, but it’s not like a Harley. It’s one of those fancy ones with the—

    Me: Like a crotch rocket?

    Jamie (laughing): Crotch rocket! Yeah.

    Me: Okay.

    Jamie: Doo—dook—

    Me: Ducati? Okay, yeah.

    (My husband only rides Ducatis and Erik used to love riding my red Ducati Monster.

    Jamie: And, um (Pause) He’s showing me a bunch of pictures. He’s on it. It’s a steel gray color and he’s on a road that has no speed limit.

    Me: I hope you’re wearing your helmet.

    Jamie: It’s kind of a mountainous place, but it looks like a highway. He said it’s on Earth. Oh, the, um. Oh my god, I just totally forgot the name of it. That road that doesn’t have a speed limit. It’s in Europe, right?

    Me: Oh, the Autobahn, for one?

    Jamie: The Autobahn, yeah. So, yeah, he apparently has a few other friends who are biker fans as well.

    Erik: We kind of blow steam off by doing that.

    Me: Good!

    Erik: It’s not racing, though. It’s just the joy of riding.

    Me: All right. Anything else you wanna talk about? Your fun? Your life over there? I forget to ask you these things, because these sessions are so blog-driven. I want to know more about my baby!

    Erik: Well, tell Pappa not to be disappointed that I’m not racing, but I am still enjoying them.

    Me: Good. The Ducati is his favorite bike. That’s it. That’s what he races with.

    Jamie: Are you serious?

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: It’s not like we have a garage full of them or anything, because we don’t need to keep them like that. We just manifest them. If it’s something we can think about, create and dream up, then we can get it.

    Me: That’s awesome.

    Erik: Yeah, it’d definitely be good for the Earth, that whole recycling thing.

    Me: Okay, tell me one more thing that you do during the day. Or night. As if there were day and night.

    Jamie: That is wild, because when you said “night” I didn’t see it at all. There was no image. It was just kind of a softer version of a day.

    Me: Oh!


    Me: You go clubbing?

    Jamie: No, he’s showing me this building he’s walking into, and it’s huge! It’s not tall. It’s maybe 12 or 13 stories tall. Not like a skyscraper or anything, but it’s got a fascinating shaped roof. It’s kind of domed or domed with a little bit of wave. It makes you wonder how it’s standing up like that.

    Me: Oh, okay.

    Jamie: And tons of glass. Tons of light coming in. Very unique. Almost reminds me of an observatory, but on a way huger scale. And he says there are places, he’s saying the word, but I don’t get it! It’s the name of the building. It’s some name for the building. You go in and you, um—

    (Long pause)

    Jamie: Sorry. It’s more images that words right now, so I’m trying to watch and then know what I’m about to explain, because I don’t know what it is. I know I’m in a room structure, but there’s something about it where you can transport yourself.

    Me: Hm!

    Jamie: Time. Space. Cuz I know that the body, itself—the spirit—can think. It’s driven by attraction and it can go where it needs to go or wants to go, and that’s how spirits travel. But he’s talking about going to other universes and galaxies.

    Me: Is it like a portal? Is that what you’re saying?

    Erik: Yeah, we can say it’s like a portal, but it’s not electronically driven. Nobody goes, “What’s your destination please, Sir” and then they pull a switch.

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Me: Beam me up, Scotty! Well, can you do that outside of the building? Aren’t you able to think about another galaxy and be there?

    Erik: Well, yes, but this is the building where we learn about these other galaxies or remember them, because there is so much—there are infinite amount information and knowledge. It’s not like we carry that all around in our consciousness. So, when you wanna go and learn about a new place—it’s not really learning. It’s just recalling. Pulling the information back in.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik:  It’s almost like trigger rooms. You know, you go into a room and you go, “I remember this place. Of course. It’s called this, and this is where it’s located in the stars.”

    Me: So it reinserts or you reinsert into your consciousness that bit of information of those memories.

    Erik: Right, and you have to have that clarity before you can transport yourself to that place.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: Because if you’re not clear, you ain’t going to get there. That’s stupid.

    Me: Yeah. You have to know—

    Erik: It’s like saying, “I want a sandwich” and like, what the fuck are you going to get then? You didn’t specify ham, cheese, lettuce and tomato. You’re just going to get this shit that you created. Then you’re going to be disappointed and you have to think about what sandwich you really want, so…

    Me: Exactly. All right.

    Great. Now I’m starving.


    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

    Love and light,


  • February10th2014


    Happy Monday everyone! I’m still transcribing my first session with Robert as well as the Ask Erik answers to the winner of that submission. It takes a long time with these fingers which, for some reason, seemed to have turned into nubs with a mind of their own or fat little Vienna Sausages that can’t seem to avoid typing 2 to 3 keys at once. Indecisive wieners. Hmm. 

    Of course, children have always been so dear to my heart even after raising five of them through the teenage years. That’s why anything Erik says about child spirits perk my interest. Erik adored children so much. The last joy he had just 30 minutes or so before he took his life was playing peek-a-boo with his niece, Arleen, through the posts along the stairwell. It was a half-hearted attempt at best.


    Me: How are children’s souls treated when they die? Do they grow up there? Can they be any age they want including an adult, and who takes care of them? Maybe I should have done these one at a time, but go ahead. Let’s see what you remember.

    Jamie (giggling): First he made a smart-ass comment that I refuse to say!

    Erik: Children are treated like spirits. They’re treated like anyone else that passes away.

    Jamie: The only difference he can think of is if the child–


    Jamie (to Erik): So we could say… Give me some examples.

    Erik: Okay. If the child’s spirit is a baby and dies very young or dies in the belly from miscarriage or abortion, cord strangulation, stillbirth, anything like that, that’s such a short life.

    Jamie (to Erik): What’s a short life?

    Erik: Pretty much from zero when the spirit decides to enter the body and I’ll say five. Five years old.

    Jamie: He calls that a short life.

    As a parent who’s lost a son, I say when I survive my child, theirs is a short life.

    Erik: A short life means that the child hasn’t been influenced by the culture or society to let go of the beliefs that they came in with.

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: So, their connection to the afterlife is still pretty strong. If they’re passing from five and below, they pretty much know their shit, so when they get back, everyone’s like, “Hey, you’re here again! How have you been?” And they have that calmness, that knowingness, that familiarity. There’s really zero trauma. Zero trauma.

    Yeah, for them, but…

    Erik: Because they’re like, “I was just here! Hey!”

    Me: It’s like one of those revolving doors in a high rise.

    Erik: Yes, and, if they choose, they can stay that age or they can grow from that age and grow with the family annually to be a part of them. For me, I like being my age. I think I’m staying this way. In fact I think that if I got older, I’d look pretty stupid cuz my maturity level is not going to go beyond what it is right now.

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Me: That’s probably true!

    Jamie: So, he would look like he didn’t have all his marbles together.

    Me: Who said he did?

    (Pause as Jamie smiles and moves her head and body as if she’s either trying to follow Erik’s movements.)

    Jamie (to Erik): What are you doing?


    Jamie: He’s checking his pockets. He’s pretending to dig through his pockets to find his marbles as proof to you that he had them all.

    Me (chuckling): That’s a good one. All right, so, what about babies when they cross over? Does somebody have to take care of them if they want to, if they want to remain a baby?

    Erik: Yeah, if they want to stay a baby and grow, it’s not like in humans though, Mom. It’s not like they need to be fed or they need to be dressed or they need to be protected.

    Me: But nurtured, right?

    Erik: Sure. Nurtured. Absolutely. But the things that you think of like sleepless nights and rocking and stuff like that, that’s not what we mean when we’re babied.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: It’s kind of like, just thinking of it in terms of size, just being small or simple. Simplicity. Then we grow into accepting more knowledge.

    Me: Who takes, uh, is there a place like a nursery where they take care of them or do the deceased relatives take care of them or what? I mean, they just don’t go crawling around with a diaper on out in the ethers!

    Erik: No, no, no. No diapers needed. Wherever they think they want to be, they go. They have the same intelligence as an independent spirit would in the afterlife. They’re not helpless. They are not helpless at all.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: They can communicate. They might not have had the English language on Earth, but they can speak loud and proud as soon as they let go of their body!

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: There’s nothing that’s being mistranslated. What they might want, like you said, is nurturing, companionship.

    Me: Yeah.

    (My retorts show that I have a great deal of contribution to the conversation.)

    Erik: Commonly, it’ll be from those who have passed away in that family structure, that lineage. If that’s not there, it’s the guides of the parents.

    Me: Okay.


    Erik: So, the family unit still stays together until time passes, and then that child can decide, are they going to stay and kind of—

    Jamie (to Erik): Linearly? Is that a word? Lin-e-ar-ly. (She over-pronounces the word as if to keep herself from stumbling over it. Sometimes when Jamie channels, it’s like she forgets words. That’s because they go straight from the spirit through her mouth, bypassing the brain. She rarely remembers any part of these sessions.)

    Erik: —play out that life with the family that they tried to come [into], or are they going to kind of remove their energy from it and place themselves into another lifetime?

    Me: Okay. Interesting. Now, why are children and babies and pets—why are they able to see spirits sometimes, and why does that eventually fade away? I suppose they fade away because they—at least the children and babies—get indoctrinated by the parents, right?

    Erik: Yep. They tell them, “Good!” “Bad!” “That’s not right!” “That’s wroooonnnng!”

    Jamie laughs.

    Me: Well, why are they able to see spirits?


    Erik: Pure energy.

    (Long pause)

    Me: Can you make that a whole sentence, please!

    Erik: Cuz they’re not getting fucked up or mucked up by other belief systems.

    Me: So, everybody, who doesn’t, uh, I mean if I didn’t have a belief system and wasn’t all messed up or “tainted” would I be able to see spirits?

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: Like babies do?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: Okay. Interesting.

    Erik: That’s why pets, cats and dogs, continue to do it. Because they don’t sign up for our belief system.

    Me: That’s true. I see my cats; they look up into this empty space and purr or keep following something with their eyes. Same thing with Bella, my dog. She’ll bark at the stairway even though it’s empty. Nobody’s there, except maybe Erik.

    Erik: That’s me.

    Me: Of course it is!


    Teasing Arley

    Teasing Arley

  • June10th2013


    Me: At what point did you ask for help? When did you finally say, “I need help”?

    Erik: When I wanted to get back to my family and I didn’t know how.

    Me: Aw. Did you miss us?

    Erik: Yeah!

    Me: So, who appeared.

    Jamie: This was a female guide. Not his aunt. This was someone who was telling him how to cross dimensions and how to communicate.

    Erik: About this time, it was when you were doing all the research and trying to find mediums, you know. So, I was trying to learn how to talk through them and get into it. By then, I didn’t have any conflict with my emotions. I was perfectly A-OK.I knew how to travel, and ten I immediately started learning how to communicate to humans. Cross-dimensional communication.

    Me: How did you ask? Did you just think, “I need help!”?

    Erik: Yeah. Yeah.

    Me: Or did you get on the loudspeaker and yell, “A little help here!”

    Erik: No, I thought about it. I would need someone to come to teach me, and that’s all you do. You just think that.

    Me: Did you have to go through some sort of therapy? They say some people have to go through therapy to mend energetically, etc. Did you go through that process, too?

    Erik: I did some, yeah.

    Me: One medium told me that you had to go through a lot less therapy than most suicides.

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: Why is that?

    Erik: Because it was a contract written that it was the end of my line whereas with most people who take their lives it’s not the end of their line. They’re just doing it out of revenge or because they want an out or avoidance.

    Me: Okay. It’s not their destiny. It’s not an exit point for them.

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: All right. Now, what do most spirits miss about the earthly plane. I know you have all of your buddies over there and they’re like, “Oh my god, I really miss pizza” or whatever, but what do most, if you were to do a survey, miss about the earthly plane.

    Erik: Food, number one. Sex, number two.

    Jamie giggles.

    Me: But I thought the sex was better over there.

    Erik: It is, but it’s not physical like that. It’s different. So different.

    Me: And why do you miss food? Can’t you conjure up the taste and texture thing or is it different?

    Erik: It’s totally different.

    Me: But can’t you create that taste, the texture and the fullness in the belly?

    Erik: It’s the whole chewing it, smelling it, waiting for it to be done. I mean, we don’t really have that kind of process. We don’t need it.

    Me: Yeah, but can’t you create every aspect of it like you’ve described?

    Erik: It’s not the same, Mom.

    Me: It’s not the same.

    Erik: It’s like artificial flavor is not the same as the real thing.

    Me: I see. And sex is not quite, uh; you don’t have that physical, the physical body.

    Jamie bursts out in laughter.

    Jamie: Uh huh. He’s talking about the “bang banging”.

    Me: Oh god, Erik. Well, you didn’t have much of it when you were her, poor guy. I guess you’ll have to come back as a prostitute.

    Jamie laughs hard.

    Me: Or, what do you call it? A gigolo. Come back as a gigolo.

    Erik: If I come back, I’m definitely coming back with a dick.

    Me: So, come back as a gigolo and then you can really get some—on a regular basis.

    Jamie still hasn’t stopped laughing.

    Erik: Jamie has just checked out!

    We all can’t help but laugh at that one.

    Me: Okay. Let’s talk about this. When spirits cross back over what do they miss about Heaven?

    Erik: Huh?

    Me: When they come back to Heaven, and say, “I’m so glad to be back because I missed…” What do they miss about Heaven?

    Erik: The bullshit.

    Me: You miss getting away from the bullshit.

    Erik: Yeah. The emotional conflict. That’s why a lot of spirits like to come to Earth—to feel the lower vibrational emotions. Hardship. Struggle.

    Me: But when they come back to Heaven, they go, “Ugh, I miss being away from those emotional conflicts.”

    Jamie: Does that make sense? Cuz the way he’s explaining it is that they’re attracted to it, so that’s why they reincarnate. That’s where some of the deeper lessons are learned.

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: Through the conflict. There’s no conflict in Heaven or Home. So, when the human dies and becomes a spirit again, the ease of life is sometimes shocking and hard to adjust to.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Cuz they just spent all that time adjusting to conflict.

    Jamie: Oh. So he’s saying not that they miss that the most. It’s just that it’s the hardest to adapt to.

    Me: To not have the conflict anymore? You like the conflict-free dimension, but it’s hard to adapt to. But I want to know what they miss about Heaven when they come back. “Oh my god, I’m so glad to be back, because I miss…”

    Jamie: Glad to be back on Earth or glad to be back in Heaven?

    Me: No, in Heaven?

    Why is this so damn hard?

    Erik: Oh, the ease of life. Peace. Love. Unconditional love.

    Me: All right. (finally!) What are the coolest new abilities you gained that you didn’t’ have on Earth?

    Jamie: Coolest new abilities.

    Me: Yeah.

    Jamie (to Erik): That aren’t raunchy!

    Me: Really!

    Jamie giggles.

    Me: I didn’t expect we could go there on THIS question, but leave it to Erik.

    Erik: Telepathy. Love it. It’s accurate. It’s better than instant messages. It’s better than text. It’s better than email.

    No fax?

    Me: Okay. What else?

    Erik: Not being stuck on planet Earth. You can just go wherever the F you wanna go.

    Me: Why are you saying, “F”? Seriously, Jamie!

    Jamie: I know! He said, “You can just go wherever the fuck you wanna go.”

    Me: There we go!

    Jamie laughs.

    Me: He’s got you all messed up today.

    Jamie: Oh, the highs and lows we’ve gone through already!

    Me: I swear to god! This is Emotional Roller-coaster Day. Okay, what else? I can imagine the frequent flyer miles you can rack up there!

    Jamie: Now that! He loves that!

    Me: What else. Name a couple more.

    Erik: A couple more. Transcending space and time. Time travel. Going back into your past lives. Oh, what about going to the fucking library?

    Me: The Akashic Records?

    Erik: Yeah. That shit fucking blows your mind.

    Me: Tell me about it.

    Erik: I can’t even plan how to get to the grocery store and buy everything that I need, and I go into here and all my past lives, my future lives, my now lives, my afterlife lives are all finely tuned. How the fuck does that happen?

    Me: What? Do you go into a library and open up a book? I mean, what’s it like?

    Erik: No, it’s not really like a book. It’s more like a never-ending page. Like it’s not like a “lick, flip” book.

    I chuckle.

    Erik: It’s kind of like a scroll, in a way, like one constant page, but you don’t have to manually unroll it. The information just comes to you.

    Me: Is it like a holographic display?

    Erik: Sort of like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s technologically advanced.

    Me: Do you just take your thumb and scroll through it like an iPhone or do you think about going to the next life or whatever?

    Erik: Yep. It shows you what you want it to show you.

    Me: Interesting. Does it have cool colors? Glowing? Sparkly?

    Erik: Yeah. To me I see it in a kind of glowing blue color.

    Me: Hmm. I can almost see it. Probably have.


    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

    Love and light,




  • June7th2013


    My vision is slowly improving. Please forgive me if I haven’t attended to your comments and emails as I usually do. It’s still very difficult to read them. Next week, I’m having the surgery on my other eye, so both will be going through that blurry period at the same time, and my  current glasses, which at least now corrects my left eye, will be rendered useless. That means I’ll be even more visually impaired, so if you could keep emails, Facebook messages and comment questions directed to me at a minimum, I’d appreciate it. Patrick will be posting on the day of my surgery (Tuesday), and I’ll hopefully take over from Wednesday on.


    Me: All right. We went backwards there. What were some of the adjustments you had to make when crossed over? What were some of the most, uh, I won’t say difficult. The most interesting. The most intense.

    Erik: How to move.

    Me: How to move! Yeah. “I cain’t feel my laigs!’

    Jamie: He’s laughing.

    Me: That’s from the movie, “Major Payne.” “That’s cuz they ain’t there!”

    Jamie (laughing): I have no idea what you’re talking about, but he’s almost on the floor!

    Me: Cuz we watched it all the time. It was with one of the Waylon brothers. It’s so funny. Erik loved it.

    Jamie is still laughing.

    Erik: Similar to that, but it’s just interesting. I’d say that’s the most urgent one that you come across.

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: You know, how to get from here to there. And it’s weird, because you keep moving and traveling, yet you can’t explain to yourself how you’re doing it. It’s like, “What’s happening. Oh shit, it’s happening!” You don’t know how.

    Me: Was it scary?

    Erik (chuckling): No. No, I wasn’t afraid, but I definitely wasn’t getting all the answers I needed ASAP, so that was weird.

    Me: Was there some sort of guide who was there for you during your death, your life review or afterwards? Wasn’t there anybody to help you?

    Erik (laughing): If there was, that dick must have been hiding behind the curtain, because I didn’t see anyone!

    Me: Oh my god! That’s awful. How come? Was it because you didn’t ask for help?

    Erik: Oh, I didn’t ask for help.

    Typical guy. They won’t ask for directions.

    Erik: And I think I just wanted to be alone.

    Me: Do you think if you asked for help somebody would come?

    Erik: Oh, yeah, with bells a‘ringing.

    Me: Why did you want to be alone?

    Erik: Cuz I wanted rest.

    Me: Was part of it shame? Did you think you’d get in trouble for doing what you did?

    Erik: Wow. That’s interesting.


    Me: Like, “Uh oh. I’m busted. Don’t take me to Hell!”

    Erik: No.

    Me: Okay. That’s good.

    Erik (amazed): Nah, I never felt like that! How cool is that?

    Me: That’s awesome. So, you couldn’t move. Tell me about the whole learning experience of learning how to move.

    Erik: Well, it’s like I consciously couldn’t make myself go, but if I thought about being somewhere, I’d end up there. It kept happening, but I couldn’t figure out how exactly it was happening.

    Me: Could you see your arms and legs?


    Me: Or were you just consciousness? Could you see your spirit body?

    Erik: Yeah. That’s mostly what you see. You don’t see yourself like you were as a human.

    Me: So, it wasn’t like you were seeing only your environment like you were just an awareness of self without a body?

    Erik: Yeah, without a human body. I had an energetic shape, you know, as light, and I felt like myself. I knew my whereabouts. I know what happened. It’s not like I was thrown into some strange world without a map. I felt like I belonged and I was safe. I was never afraid, but it was just the smallest things like that that would fuck you in the head a little bit.

    Me: But when you looked down, you could see your legs and your feet and all that? It wasn’t a human body, but you weren’t just like a ball of light?

    Erik: Correct. Yeah, right. I had an energetic shape like my human body.

    Me: And you could move? You could look at your hand and make a fist, move your legs and things like that?

    Erik: Oh, yeah!

    Me: So, it was more about moving from one place to another.

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: So, you learned how to think of a place and be there?

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: What were some other adjustments that you had to make when you crossed over?

    Erik: Well, I was used to kind of arguing to myself in my head or having contradicting thoughts and emotions, but that shit just doesn’t happen. That was weird.

    Me: Hm. What happens instead?

    Erik (slightly frustrated): I don’t really know how to explain it. You just don’t have them. You couldn’t be angry and happy.

    Me: So, more peace? No more conflict in your head?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: How old were you when you had no conflict in your head?

    Erik: I had moments of it, but never consistently.

    Me: Well, I don’t think anybody has it consistently.

    Erik: Really?

    Me: Where they’re always, always, always at peace with no conflict in their head? Of course not.

    Erik: C’mon. There’s gotta be people. Isn’t that what being happy is?

    Me: One hundred percent of the time?

    Jamie (to Erik): Yeah, Erik. There’s—

    Me: C’mon! What if someone is super constipated, and they’re sitting there on the toilet, and they can’t pinch one off? That is NOT a happy situation!

    Erik (chuckling): Yeah, but that’s a physical conflict.

    Me: It doesn’t make any difference. It’s going to create some emotional conflict. Nobody is totally at peace all the time unless they’re the Dalai Lama.

    Erik: You must have an issue with shit, Mom.

    Me: Look at you and your scatological humor! I wouldn’t talk! Okay. Let’s move on. What are some other adjustments you had to make? Any others?

    Erik: Those two are the main ones.


    Be sure to sign up for Jamie’s phone reading next week on the 12th!



    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

    Love and light,


  • June6th2013


    You may find typos or spelling errors in this entry, but again, I didn’t have the stomach to proofread it. Sorry.

    Me: Who was the first one to meet you?

    Erik: Well, hell, I can’t even remember.
    Me: Was Denise (my sister) there? Aunt Denise. I think she was also there to greet you, right?

    Erik: Yes. I remember seeing a whole bunch of faces. It’s different now. Looking back, I can get the feeling much more clear rather than relying on what I was seeing or saying.

    Me: Yeah, because in spirit, it’s more about feelings than about mental, uh brain based remembering of details. I think why people get disappointed when they go to a medium and ask validation questions like, “What did we put in your pocket when we buried you?” You don’t remember things like that anymore. It’s not important after you cross over. It’s all about feelings.

    Erik: You’re right, and, trust me; we’re not checking our fucking pockets, either.

    Me: Exactly. All right. Let’s go on to the life review. What’s the life review like? I mean maybe they’re all different, but give me a general idea about what the life review entails.

    Erik: Yeah, sometimes you feel like you’re going into this room, like an Imax theater and it’s almost a 360, but you get to feel what emotions or impressions that other people perceived of you. So, it’s like you’re going through this life review and you get to feel like you’re done for yourself. You see YOU through other people.

    Jamie (laughing): I can’t imitate that. Basically, he said, “That’s totally wrong. That’s fucked up. It’s the worst joke you could play on anyone.

    Me: So, you’re like that person. You’re seeing through their eyes and feeling what they felt?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: Oof. Boy, that’s not fun. If on Earth, you’ve resolved those issues, if you’ve made amends with that person, do you still have to go through that with that person?

    Erik: No! No.

    Me: Okay, good.

    Erik: If it’s truly resolved, it’s not on your plate.

    Me (chuckling): Oo, I’m going to go around apologizing to a lot of people!

    Jamie and Erik laugh.

    Erik: And the life review is not like somebody comes in and says, “Excuse me. It’s time for your life review. It’s at 2:30. Please walk into this room and have a seat.”

    I chuckle.

    Erik: It just kind of overtakes you, and it’s weird. It happens really fast, but you’ll feel like you’ve been in it forever.

    Me: Well, what causes the life review? I don’t understand. What are its origins? Who decides this; who creates this?

    Erik: Most of the time, it’s actually the consciousness, the human experience, the need for the human to do a checklist. Energetically and spiritually, it’s not really needed. You don’t need to go through those checkpoints, because if you came in spiritually, energetically connected, you already know what those checkpoints are. So, you know, this is pretty much for every living person where we’re functioning more from our brain than any other part.

    Me: Uh huh.

    Erik: So, it’s almost like the brain decompressing, running through everything, but it’s in the reverse. You get to understand how other people perceived you for you. And your answers are given to you. “Oh! That’s why this happened this way!” You put things to rest in a very quick way.

    Me: So, is it painful, emotionally?

    Erik: Nah. It’s definitely fucked up, but it’s not painful. You don’t’ leave wrecks like the Titanic, right, Mom?

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Me: So, was yours long? Did you have to go through a whole lot?

    Erik: No, it wasn’t a whole lot. Mine was mostly the voices in my head. You know, my fucked up shit.

    Me: What do you mean?

    Erik: I had to deal and have conversations with myself quite a bit, you know, talk myself down from shit and try to understand myself. That’s mostly what I came across.

    Me: Oh. Who did you have to deal with the most as far as your life review is concerned?

    Erik: Mostly my family.

    Me: Yes, of course. Okay. Anything else on the life review.

    Erik: Nah. That’s probably it.

    Me: Do you ever have to go through life reviews for past lives at the same time, or is it only for this current life?

    Erik: It’s pretty much decompressing the life you were just exiting.

    Me: Okay. Now, this white tunnel. This white light you hear about. Of course, some people experience it; some people don’t. Why do some experience and others don’t, and what the hell is it?

    Erik (teasing): Only the good get to go down the tunnel. No, really. That’s bullshit.

    Me: It reminds me of that show, “Outer Limits” where the guys jump into this big swirly circle.

    Jamie laughs.

    Erik: No, really it’s based on a belief system.

    Me: What is it? Does it exist?

    Erik: The tunnel of white light?

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Here’s my two cents about it. When you die, if that’s what you believed in, that when you die you’re gonna see this bright white light and all that crap, then I think that’s what you’re going to get.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: But also, the actually death of the brain, the lack of oxygen and everything, creates this tunnel vision. Is that the light you go into and cross into death? No. That’s your brain dying.

    Me: Well, the belief system had to start from some place.

    Erik: It started form those people had those near death experiences or whatever and their brains were dying, and they got up and talked about it—that they saw God and angels and all this. Consciously—

    Jamie (to Erik): Thank you for saying that. This makes sense.

    Erik: Consciously, you’re trying to look through the eyes that are set in your head, so when the brain is dying, that’s what you’re seeing. Intuitively, if you’re looking with the third eye, you don’t have to see a tunnel of white light to cross over into the Beyond.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: So, if you’re looking with your third eye—the intuitive eye—most likely it’ll be like going into another room.

    Me: Yeah, a lot of people describe it that way—It’s like going into another room. When you got pulled back by your shoulders, where’d you end up?

    Erik (chuckling): In another room!

    Me: Okay, and—

    Erik: It’s wild. The room around me just kind of disappeared. Where I was just dissolved. I think that’s the only way I know how to say it. Got dark. Dim the lights. Turn the lights on. You’re in a different space. There’s nothing fast about it. It wasn’t like a quick jerk or anything. It was more of how you feel your body going to sleep. It’s more like that.

    Me: I remember when you were doing your life review, you talked about how you sat at a long table and you had your head in your hands.

    Erik: Mm hm.


    For those of you who wish to speak with a deceased loved one, please sign up for the Griever’s Channeling Call TOMORROW. Remember, your loved one wants to communicate with you, too!

    Griever’s Call


    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.
    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.
    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.
    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.
    Love and light,

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