Channeling Erik®
  • Death of a Child
  • February10th


    Happy Monday everyone! I’m still transcribing my first session with Robert as well as the Ask Erik answers to the winner of that submission. It takes a long time with these fingers which, for some reason, seemed to have turned into nubs with a mind of their own or fat little Vienna Sausages that can’t seem to avoid typing 2 to 3 keys at once. Indecisive wieners. Hmm. 

    Of course, children have always been so dear to my heart even after raising five of them through the teenage years. That’s why anything Erik says about child spirits perk my interest. Erik adored children so much. The last joy he had just 30 minutes or so before he took his life was playing peek-a-boo with his niece, Arleen, through the posts along the stairwell. It was a half-hearted attempt at best.


    Me: How are children’s souls treated when they die? Do they grow up there? Can they be any age they want including an adult, and who takes care of them? Maybe I should have done these one at a time, but go ahead. Let’s see what you remember.

    Jamie (giggling): First he made a smart-ass comment that I refuse to say!

    Erik: Children are treated like spirits. They’re treated like anyone else that passes away.

    Jamie: The only difference he can think of is if the child–


    Jamie (to Erik): So we could say… Give me some examples.

    Erik: Okay. If the child’s spirit is a baby and dies very young or dies in the belly from miscarriage or abortion, cord strangulation, stillbirth, anything like that, that’s such a short life.

    Jamie (to Erik): What’s a short life?

    Erik: Pretty much from zero when the spirit decides to enter the body and I’ll say five. Five years old.

    Jamie: He calls that a short life.

    As a parent who’s lost a son, I say when I survive my child, theirs is a short life.

    Erik: A short life means that the child hasn’t been influenced by the culture or society to let go of the beliefs that they came in with.

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: So, their connection to the afterlife is still pretty strong. If they’re passing from five and below, they pretty much know their shit, so when they get back, everyone’s like, “Hey, you’re here again! How have you been?” And they have that calmness, that knowingness, that familiarity. There’s really zero trauma. Zero trauma.

    Yeah, for them, but…

    Erik: Because they’re like, “I was just here! Hey!”

    Me: It’s like one of those revolving doors in a high rise.

    Erik: Yes, and, if they choose, they can stay that age or they can grow from that age and grow with the family annually to be a part of them. For me, I like being my age. I think I’m staying this way. In fact I think that if I got older, I’d look pretty stupid cuz my maturity level is not going to go beyond what it is right now.

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Me: That’s probably true!

    Jamie: So, he would look like he didn’t have all his marbles together.

    Me: Who said he did?

    (Pause as Jamie smiles and moves her head and body as if she’s either trying to follow Erik’s movements.)

    Jamie (to Erik): What are you doing?


    Jamie: He’s checking his pockets. He’s pretending to dig through his pockets to find his marbles as proof to you that he had them all.

    Me (chuckling): That’s a good one. All right, so, what about babies when they cross over? Does somebody have to take care of them if they want to, if they want to remain a baby?

    Erik: Yeah, if they want to stay a baby and grow, it’s not like in humans though, Mom. It’s not like they need to be fed or they need to be dressed or they need to be protected.

    Me: But nurtured, right?

    Erik: Sure. Nurtured. Absolutely. But the things that you think of like sleepless nights and rocking and stuff like that, that’s not what we mean when we’re babied.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: It’s kind of like, just thinking of it in terms of size, just being small or simple. Simplicity. Then we grow into accepting more knowledge.

    Me: Who takes, uh, is there a place like a nursery where they take care of them or do the deceased relatives take care of them or what? I mean, they just don’t go crawling around with a diaper on out in the ethers!

    Erik: No, no, no. No diapers needed. Wherever they think they want to be, they go. They have the same intelligence as an independent spirit would in the afterlife. They’re not helpless. They are not helpless at all.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: They can communicate. They might not have had the English language on Earth, but they can speak loud and proud as soon as they let go of their body!

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: There’s nothing that’s being mistranslated. What they might want, like you said, is nurturing, companionship.

    Me: Yeah.

    (My retorts show that I have a great deal of contribution to the conversation.)

    Erik: Commonly, it’ll be from those who have passed away in that family structure, that lineage. If that’s not there, it’s the guides of the parents.

    Me: Okay.


    Erik: So, the family unit still stays together until time passes, and then that child can decide, are they going to stay and kind of—

    Jamie (to Erik): Linearly? Is that a word? Lin-e-ar-ly. (She over-pronounces the word as if to keep herself from stumbling over it. Sometimes when Jamie channels, it’s like she forgets words. That’s because they go straight from the spirit through her mouth, bypassing the brain. She rarely remembers any part of these sessions.)

    Erik: —play out that life with the family that they tried to come [into], or are they going to kind of remove their energy from it and place themselves into another lifetime?

    Me: Okay. Interesting. Now, why are children and babies and pets—why are they able to see spirits sometimes, and why does that eventually fade away? I suppose they fade away because they—at least the children and babies—get indoctrinated by the parents, right?

    Erik: Yep. They tell them, “Good!” “Bad!” “That’s not right!” “That’s wroooonnnng!”

    Jamie laughs.

    Me: Well, why are they able to see spirits?


    Erik: Pure energy.

    (Long pause)

    Me: Can you make that a whole sentence, please!

    Erik: Cuz they’re not getting fucked up or mucked up by other belief systems.

    Me: So, everybody, who doesn’t, uh, I mean if I didn’t have a belief system and wasn’t all messed up or “tainted” would I be able to see spirits?

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: Like babies do?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: Okay. Interesting.

    Erik: That’s why pets, cats and dogs, continue to do it. Because they don’t sign up for our belief system.

    Me: That’s true. I see my cats; they look up into this empty space and purr or keep following something with their eyes. Same thing with Bella, my dog. She’ll bark at the stairway even though it’s empty. Nobody’s there, except maybe Erik.

    Erik: That’s me.

    Me: Of course it is!


    Teasing Arley

    Teasing Arley

  • June10th


    Me: At what point did you ask for help? When did you finally say, “I need help”?

    Erik: When I wanted to get back to my family and I didn’t know how.

    Me: Aw. Did you miss us?

    Erik: Yeah!

    Me: So, who appeared.

    Jamie: This was a female guide. Not his aunt. This was someone who was telling him how to cross dimensions and how to communicate.

    Erik: About this time, it was when you were doing all the research and trying to find mediums, you know. So, I was trying to learn how to talk through them and get into it. By then, I didn’t have any conflict with my emotions. I was perfectly A-OK.I knew how to travel, and ten I immediately started learning how to communicate to humans. Cross-dimensional communication.

    Me: How did you ask? Did you just think, “I need help!”?

    Erik: Yeah. Yeah.

    Me: Or did you get on the loudspeaker and yell, “A little help here!”

    Erik: No, I thought about it. I would need someone to come to teach me, and that’s all you do. You just think that.

    Me: Did you have to go through some sort of therapy? They say some people have to go through therapy to mend energetically, etc. Did you go through that process, too?

    Erik: I did some, yeah.

    Me: One medium told me that you had to go through a lot less therapy than most suicides.

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: Why is that?

    Erik: Because it was a contract written that it was the end of my line whereas with most people who take their lives it’s not the end of their line. They’re just doing it out of revenge or because they want an out or avoidance.

    Me: Okay. It’s not their destiny. It’s not an exit point for them.

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: All right. Now, what do most spirits miss about the earthly plane. I know you have all of your buddies over there and they’re like, “Oh my god, I really miss pizza” or whatever, but what do most, if you were to do a survey, miss about the earthly plane.

    Erik: Food, number one. Sex, number two.

    Jamie giggles.

    Me: But I thought the sex was better over there.

    Erik: It is, but it’s not physical like that. It’s different. So different.

    Me: And why do you miss food? Can’t you conjure up the taste and texture thing or is it different?

    Erik: It’s totally different.

    Me: But can’t you create that taste, the texture and the fullness in the belly?

    Erik: It’s the whole chewing it, smelling it, waiting for it to be done. I mean, we don’t really have that kind of process. We don’t need it.

    Me: Yeah, but can’t you create every aspect of it like you’ve described?

    Erik: It’s not the same, Mom.

    Me: It’s not the same.

    Erik: It’s like artificial flavor is not the same as the real thing.

    Me: I see. And sex is not quite, uh; you don’t have that physical, the physical body.

    Jamie bursts out in laughter.

    Jamie: Uh huh. He’s talking about the “bang banging”.

    Me: Oh god, Erik. Well, you didn’t have much of it when you were her, poor guy. I guess you’ll have to come back as a prostitute.

    Jamie laughs hard.

    Me: Or, what do you call it? A gigolo. Come back as a gigolo.

    Erik: If I come back, I’m definitely coming back with a dick.

    Me: So, come back as a gigolo and then you can really get some—on a regular basis.

    Jamie still hasn’t stopped laughing.

    Erik: Jamie has just checked out!

    We all can’t help but laugh at that one.

    Me: Okay. Let’s talk about this. When spirits cross back over what do they miss about Heaven?

    Erik: Huh?

    Me: When they come back to Heaven, and say, “I’m so glad to be back because I missed…” What do they miss about Heaven?

    Erik: The bullshit.

    Me: You miss getting away from the bullshit.

    Erik: Yeah. The emotional conflict. That’s why a lot of spirits like to come to Earth—to feel the lower vibrational emotions. Hardship. Struggle.

    Me: But when they come back to Heaven, they go, “Ugh, I miss being away from those emotional conflicts.”

    Jamie: Does that make sense? Cuz the way he’s explaining it is that they’re attracted to it, so that’s why they reincarnate. That’s where some of the deeper lessons are learned.

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: Through the conflict. There’s no conflict in Heaven or Home. So, when the human dies and becomes a spirit again, the ease of life is sometimes shocking and hard to adjust to.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Cuz they just spent all that time adjusting to conflict.

    Jamie: Oh. So he’s saying not that they miss that the most. It’s just that it’s the hardest to adapt to.

    Me: To not have the conflict anymore? You like the conflict-free dimension, but it’s hard to adapt to. But I want to know what they miss about Heaven when they come back. “Oh my god, I’m so glad to be back, because I miss…”

    Jamie: Glad to be back on Earth or glad to be back in Heaven?

    Me: No, in Heaven?

    Why is this so damn hard?

    Erik: Oh, the ease of life. Peace. Love. Unconditional love.

    Me: All right. (finally!) What are the coolest new abilities you gained that you didn’t’ have on Earth?

    Jamie: Coolest new abilities.

    Me: Yeah.

    Jamie (to Erik): That aren’t raunchy!

    Me: Really!

    Jamie giggles.

    Me: I didn’t expect we could go there on THIS question, but leave it to Erik.

    Erik: Telepathy. Love it. It’s accurate. It’s better than instant messages. It’s better than text. It’s better than email.

    No fax?

    Me: Okay. What else?

    Erik: Not being stuck on planet Earth. You can just go wherever the F you wanna go.

    Me: Why are you saying, “F”? Seriously, Jamie!

    Jamie: I know! He said, “You can just go wherever the fuck you wanna go.”

    Me: There we go!

    Jamie laughs.

    Me: He’s got you all messed up today.

    Jamie: Oh, the highs and lows we’ve gone through already!

    Me: I swear to god! This is Emotional Roller-coaster Day. Okay, what else? I can imagine the frequent flyer miles you can rack up there!

    Jamie: Now that! He loves that!

    Me: What else. Name a couple more.

    Erik: A couple more. Transcending space and time. Time travel. Going back into your past lives. Oh, what about going to the fucking library?

    Me: The Akashic Records?

    Erik: Yeah. That shit fucking blows your mind.

    Me: Tell me about it.

    Erik: I can’t even plan how to get to the grocery store and buy everything that I need, and I go into here and all my past lives, my future lives, my now lives, my afterlife lives are all finely tuned. How the fuck does that happen?

    Me: What? Do you go into a library and open up a book? I mean, what’s it like?

    Erik: No, it’s not really like a book. It’s more like a never-ending page. Like it’s not like a “lick, flip” book.

    I chuckle.

    Erik: It’s kind of like a scroll, in a way, like one constant page, but you don’t have to manually unroll it. The information just comes to you.

    Me: Is it like a holographic display?

    Erik: Sort of like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s technologically advanced.

    Me: Do you just take your thumb and scroll through it like an iPhone or do you think about going to the next life or whatever?

    Erik: Yep. It shows you what you want it to show you.

    Me: Interesting. Does it have cool colors? Glowing? Sparkly?

    Erik: Yeah. To me I see it in a kind of glowing blue color.

    Me: Hmm. I can almost see it. Probably have.


    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

    Love and light,




  • June7th


    My vision is slowly improving. Please forgive me if I haven’t attended to your comments and emails as I usually do. It’s still very difficult to read them. Next week, I’m having the surgery on my other eye, so both will be going through that blurry period at the same time, and my  current glasses, which at least now corrects my left eye, will be rendered useless. That means I’ll be even more visually impaired, so if you could keep emails, Facebook messages and comment questions directed to me at a minimum, I’d appreciate it. Patrick will be posting on the day of my surgery (Tuesday), and I’ll hopefully take over from Wednesday on.


    Me: All right. We went backwards there. What were some of the adjustments you had to make when crossed over? What were some of the most, uh, I won’t say difficult. The most interesting. The most intense.

    Erik: How to move.

    Me: How to move! Yeah. “I cain’t feel my laigs!’

    Jamie: He’s laughing.

    Me: That’s from the movie, “Major Payne.” “That’s cuz they ain’t there!”

    Jamie (laughing): I have no idea what you’re talking about, but he’s almost on the floor!

    Me: Cuz we watched it all the time. It was with one of the Waylon brothers. It’s so funny. Erik loved it.

    Jamie is still laughing.

    Erik: Similar to that, but it’s just interesting. I’d say that’s the most urgent one that you come across.

    Me: Mm hm.

    Erik: You know, how to get from here to there. And it’s weird, because you keep moving and traveling, yet you can’t explain to yourself how you’re doing it. It’s like, “What’s happening. Oh shit, it’s happening!” You don’t know how.

    Me: Was it scary?

    Erik (chuckling): No. No, I wasn’t afraid, but I definitely wasn’t getting all the answers I needed ASAP, so that was weird.

    Me: Was there some sort of guide who was there for you during your death, your life review or afterwards? Wasn’t there anybody to help you?

    Erik (laughing): If there was, that dick must have been hiding behind the curtain, because I didn’t see anyone!

    Me: Oh my god! That’s awful. How come? Was it because you didn’t ask for help?

    Erik: Oh, I didn’t ask for help.

    Typical guy. They won’t ask for directions.

    Erik: And I think I just wanted to be alone.

    Me: Do you think if you asked for help somebody would come?

    Erik: Oh, yeah, with bells a‘ringing.

    Me: Why did you want to be alone?

    Erik: Cuz I wanted rest.

    Me: Was part of it shame? Did you think you’d get in trouble for doing what you did?

    Erik: Wow. That’s interesting.


    Me: Like, “Uh oh. I’m busted. Don’t take me to Hell!”

    Erik: No.

    Me: Okay. That’s good.

    Erik (amazed): Nah, I never felt like that! How cool is that?

    Me: That’s awesome. So, you couldn’t move. Tell me about the whole learning experience of learning how to move.

    Erik: Well, it’s like I consciously couldn’t make myself go, but if I thought about being somewhere, I’d end up there. It kept happening, but I couldn’t figure out how exactly it was happening.

    Me: Could you see your arms and legs?


    Me: Or were you just consciousness? Could you see your spirit body?

    Erik: Yeah. That’s mostly what you see. You don’t see yourself like you were as a human.

    Me: So, it wasn’t like you were seeing only your environment like you were just an awareness of self without a body?

    Erik: Yeah, without a human body. I had an energetic shape, you know, as light, and I felt like myself. I knew my whereabouts. I know what happened. It’s not like I was thrown into some strange world without a map. I felt like I belonged and I was safe. I was never afraid, but it was just the smallest things like that that would fuck you in the head a little bit.

    Me: But when you looked down, you could see your legs and your feet and all that? It wasn’t a human body, but you weren’t just like a ball of light?

    Erik: Correct. Yeah, right. I had an energetic shape like my human body.

    Me: And you could move? You could look at your hand and make a fist, move your legs and things like that?

    Erik: Oh, yeah!

    Me: So, it was more about moving from one place to another.

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: So, you learned how to think of a place and be there?

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: What were some other adjustments that you had to make when you crossed over?

    Erik: Well, I was used to kind of arguing to myself in my head or having contradicting thoughts and emotions, but that shit just doesn’t happen. That was weird.

    Me: Hm. What happens instead?

    Erik (slightly frustrated): I don’t really know how to explain it. You just don’t have them. You couldn’t be angry and happy.

    Me: So, more peace? No more conflict in your head?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: How old were you when you had no conflict in your head?

    Erik: I had moments of it, but never consistently.

    Me: Well, I don’t think anybody has it consistently.

    Erik: Really?

    Me: Where they’re always, always, always at peace with no conflict in their head? Of course not.

    Erik: C’mon. There’s gotta be people. Isn’t that what being happy is?

    Me: One hundred percent of the time?

    Jamie (to Erik): Yeah, Erik. There’s—

    Me: C’mon! What if someone is super constipated, and they’re sitting there on the toilet, and they can’t pinch one off? That is NOT a happy situation!

    Erik (chuckling): Yeah, but that’s a physical conflict.

    Me: It doesn’t make any difference. It’s going to create some emotional conflict. Nobody is totally at peace all the time unless they’re the Dalai Lama.

    Erik: You must have an issue with shit, Mom.

    Me: Look at you and your scatological humor! I wouldn’t talk! Okay. Let’s move on. What are some other adjustments you had to make? Any others?

    Erik: Those two are the main ones.


    Be sure to sign up for Jamie’s phone reading next week on the 12th!



    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

    Love and light,


  • June6th


    You may find typos or spelling errors in this entry, but again, I didn’t have the stomach to proofread it. Sorry.

    Me: Who was the first one to meet you?

    Erik: Well, hell, I can’t even remember.
    Me: Was Denise (my sister) there? Aunt Denise. I think she was also there to greet you, right?

    Erik: Yes. I remember seeing a whole bunch of faces. It’s different now. Looking back, I can get the feeling much more clear rather than relying on what I was seeing or saying.

    Me: Yeah, because in spirit, it’s more about feelings than about mental, uh brain based remembering of details. I think why people get disappointed when they go to a medium and ask validation questions like, “What did we put in your pocket when we buried you?” You don’t remember things like that anymore. It’s not important after you cross over. It’s all about feelings.

    Erik: You’re right, and, trust me; we’re not checking our fucking pockets, either.

    Me: Exactly. All right. Let’s go on to the life review. What’s the life review like? I mean maybe they’re all different, but give me a general idea about what the life review entails.

    Erik: Yeah, sometimes you feel like you’re going into this room, like an Imax theater and it’s almost a 360, but you get to feel what emotions or impressions that other people perceived of you. So, it’s like you’re going through this life review and you get to feel like you’re done for yourself. You see YOU through other people.

    Jamie (laughing): I can’t imitate that. Basically, he said, “That’s totally wrong. That’s fucked up. It’s the worst joke you could play on anyone.

    Me: So, you’re like that person. You’re seeing through their eyes and feeling what they felt?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: Oof. Boy, that’s not fun. If on Earth, you’ve resolved those issues, if you’ve made amends with that person, do you still have to go through that with that person?

    Erik: No! No.

    Me: Okay, good.

    Erik: If it’s truly resolved, it’s not on your plate.

    Me (chuckling): Oo, I’m going to go around apologizing to a lot of people!

    Jamie and Erik laugh.

    Erik: And the life review is not like somebody comes in and says, “Excuse me. It’s time for your life review. It’s at 2:30. Please walk into this room and have a seat.”

    I chuckle.

    Erik: It just kind of overtakes you, and it’s weird. It happens really fast, but you’ll feel like you’ve been in it forever.

    Me: Well, what causes the life review? I don’t understand. What are its origins? Who decides this; who creates this?

    Erik: Most of the time, it’s actually the consciousness, the human experience, the need for the human to do a checklist. Energetically and spiritually, it’s not really needed. You don’t need to go through those checkpoints, because if you came in spiritually, energetically connected, you already know what those checkpoints are. So, you know, this is pretty much for every living person where we’re functioning more from our brain than any other part.

    Me: Uh huh.

    Erik: So, it’s almost like the brain decompressing, running through everything, but it’s in the reverse. You get to understand how other people perceived you for you. And your answers are given to you. “Oh! That’s why this happened this way!” You put things to rest in a very quick way.

    Me: So, is it painful, emotionally?

    Erik: Nah. It’s definitely fucked up, but it’s not painful. You don’t’ leave wrecks like the Titanic, right, Mom?

    Jamie and I laugh.

    Me: So, was yours long? Did you have to go through a whole lot?

    Erik: No, it wasn’t a whole lot. Mine was mostly the voices in my head. You know, my fucked up shit.

    Me: What do you mean?

    Erik: I had to deal and have conversations with myself quite a bit, you know, talk myself down from shit and try to understand myself. That’s mostly what I came across.

    Me: Oh. Who did you have to deal with the most as far as your life review is concerned?

    Erik: Mostly my family.

    Me: Yes, of course. Okay. Anything else on the life review.

    Erik: Nah. That’s probably it.

    Me: Do you ever have to go through life reviews for past lives at the same time, or is it only for this current life?

    Erik: It’s pretty much decompressing the life you were just exiting.

    Me: Okay. Now, this white tunnel. This white light you hear about. Of course, some people experience it; some people don’t. Why do some experience and others don’t, and what the hell is it?

    Erik (teasing): Only the good get to go down the tunnel. No, really. That’s bullshit.

    Me: It reminds me of that show, “Outer Limits” where the guys jump into this big swirly circle.

    Jamie laughs.

    Erik: No, really it’s based on a belief system.

    Me: What is it? Does it exist?

    Erik: The tunnel of white light?

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: Here’s my two cents about it. When you die, if that’s what you believed in, that when you die you’re gonna see this bright white light and all that crap, then I think that’s what you’re going to get.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: But also, the actually death of the brain, the lack of oxygen and everything, creates this tunnel vision. Is that the light you go into and cross into death? No. That’s your brain dying.

    Me: Well, the belief system had to start from some place.

    Erik: It started form those people had those near death experiences or whatever and their brains were dying, and they got up and talked about it—that they saw God and angels and all this. Consciously—

    Jamie (to Erik): Thank you for saying that. This makes sense.

    Erik: Consciously, you’re trying to look through the eyes that are set in your head, so when the brain is dying, that’s what you’re seeing. Intuitively, if you’re looking with the third eye, you don’t have to see a tunnel of white light to cross over into the Beyond.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: So, if you’re looking with your third eye—the intuitive eye—most likely it’ll be like going into another room.

    Me: Yeah, a lot of people describe it that way—It’s like going into another room. When you got pulled back by your shoulders, where’d you end up?

    Erik (chuckling): In another room!

    Me: Okay, and—

    Erik: It’s wild. The room around me just kind of disappeared. Where I was just dissolved. I think that’s the only way I know how to say it. Got dark. Dim the lights. Turn the lights on. You’re in a different space. There’s nothing fast about it. It wasn’t like a quick jerk or anything. It was more of how you feel your body going to sleep. It’s more like that.

    Me: I remember when you were doing your life review, you talked about how you sat at a long table and you had your head in your hands.

    Erik: Mm hm.


    For those of you who wish to speak with a deceased loved one, please sign up for the Griever’s Channeling Call TOMORROW. Remember, your loved one wants to communicate with you, too!

    Griever’s Call


    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.
    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.
    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.
    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.
    Love and light,

  • June3rd


    Tomorrow, I have surgery on one of my eyes early in the morning. I think I’ll be able to post something, but if I don’t, you’ll know why. I’m having the other eye operated on the following Tuesday. Wish me luck! Maybe I’ll finally not drive at night with sweaty palms! Meanwhile, here, Erik continues his description of his own personal death experience.

    Me: Did you think it was cool to just fly around? Did you feel that unconditional love that a lot of people talk about?

    Erik: No.

    Me: Or was that when you crossed over?

    Erik: Yes. When I crossed over.

    Me: All right. Let’s talk more then. So, you were looking at that (his body), and you were like, “Wow”, and there was a little bit of shock. Did you feel a little bit of, “Oh, shit? What are they going to think when they find me?”

    (Long pause)

    Jamie: He’s real quiet. I can tell he’s going through it.

    (Very long pause)

    Jamie: I’m telling him to take his time.


    Erik: You know, I don’t slow down to think about my death too much.

    (Long pause)

    Erik: To me, it was a way out. It has a lot of pain associated with it.

    Me (tearing up): Mm hm.

    Erik: It’s not just my pain, but my family’s pain and mu friends’ pain.

    Me: Yeah.

    (Long pause. Clearly he’s not comfortable)

    Me (sensing his discomfort and wanting to spare him further pain): Well, let’s not dwell on it. Let’s go to what happened and what it felt like when you started getting out of your room. Tell me about that.

    Erik: I remember seeing my body leave.


    Me: You body leave? Oh, when they were taking you away?

    Erik: In the bag.

    Me: Okay. Right.

    Erik: Then I remember thinking that I needed to say goodbye.

    Me: Yeah.

    Erik: And if I remember right, That’s when I started checking in with family members.


    Me: That must have been painful, because we were not happy.

    (Long pause)

    Jamie: He’s got his elbows on his knees; his hands are clasped in front of him. Very casual, but he’s (pause) solemn. A little bit more solemn.

    Erik: I remember finding—

    (Long pause)

    Jamie (with emotion): Aw. He’s tearing up.

    Me: Oh. We don’t have to do this, Baby.

    Erik (teasing): Shut up, Mom.

    Jamie:  Tearing up, but not afraid to tell you to be quiet.

    I chuckle softly.

    Erik: When you slow down to go back through your memories, you see more. You do miss a lot when you’re in the moment, like your eyes aren’t big enough. I know I’ve told you before. I’m really sorry—for you. I’m really sorry for Pappa and for everyone else in my family.

    Me (sobbing quietly): Yeah.

    Erik: But I know there’s one thing—I cannot apologize for my happiness.

    Me: I know. I’m happy for you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I had to choose between you being here an miserable, of course…

    Erik: How fucked up is it, Mom, that that was my option?

    Me: Yeah. I wouldn’t want that to happen.

    Erik: What I can’t seem to figure out when I go through it again, “Why does it hurt so bad when the outcome was exactly what I was looking for?

    Me (still crying): And you’re happy. I mean, how could it hurt when you’re happy? I’m just looking at the moment. The moment is unhappy, but the result was happy. So, we’ll move past the moment. Tell me about your crossing over. Did you, I remember you said something like you felt like you were bing tugged by your shoulders. I can’t remember exactly.

    Erik: Yeah. I felt like I was being pulled back. I guess I just really wasn’t’ paying attention. It sounds like me, anyway. Like, I was looking at something I wasn’t supposed to be looking at.

    Me (confused): You were looking at something you weren’t supposed to be looking at?

    Jamie: He’s speaking in general.

    Me: Oh, okay.

    Erik: That’s probably why I didn’t’ see this big gorgeous white light, you know, hear angels sing!

    Jamie (giggling): He’s laughing.

    I chuckle through my tears.

    Erik: Nah, I was probably fucking doing something wrong and over to the side. Probably I got jerked.

    Me: Oh, I see. I see.

    Erik: Yeah. THAT feeling was unspeakable. That one is like taking a body and putting it through a strainer and have all of the pieces come out on the other end, but different. Clean. I supposed it would be the feeling that I would think back in the old times when people thought that if they were baptized by Jesus, everything would disappear and they’d only be good. That’s really what death is.

    Me: Wow. Mm.

    Erik: You really are good. You’re not missing those other parts. They’re still with you, but they don’t play a big part of the song. You don’t lose any of yourself, but what comes forward is this overwhelming sense of perfection, being in the right place, being loved and you being able to FEEL it. Like, there’s not even the tiniest comment or remark about doubting what’s coming your way or if there was some string attached, or were they just trying to lure you and really it was Hell, you know. (He chuckles.) None of that. It just, it’s so much you don’t even weep about it. That’s when your family and your friends show up. When you notice you’re not alone.

    Erik Rune Medhus

    Erik Rune Medhus


    Jamie still has openings for small group readings and the grievers’ call this week. Please click on the link below, find what you’d like to register for and click on it. The readings provide an opportunity to ask questions about your future, your career, your health, your relationships and more. Both calls give you a chance to speak with your deceased loved ones.

    Jamie’s Calendar


    Dear Reader,

    The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

    As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

    Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

    I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

    Love and light,



  • April28th


    The title speaks for itself. For those of you who haven’t yet, please subscribe to the Channeling Erik YouTube channel.


    Please LIKE my book’s Facebook fan page!

  • April6th


    A few weeks ago, a blog member wanted to say that, although she enjoyed my posts immensely, she had not forgotten the tremendous tragedy that had brought me to this point. I so appreciated that comment, because long gone are those earlier entries about grief and loss as we have moved into the uncharted territory of the nonphysical world and the human experience. But not a day goes by that I don’t think about my boy. In the morning when I open my eyes and in the night when I close them. I forger that it’s only been a little over three years.

    I know those days are gone when I used to read him bedtime stories and tuck him in at night, fuss at him to do his homework or finish his chores or brush his cheek with a kiss and tell him to be careful as he leaves with his friends to go to a party. Yes, I know he’s alive in another dimension, and he’s happier than he’s ever been. Our relationship is as happy as it’s every been. But I share this for a reason that is not as selfish as at first it may seem, because I speak for everyone who’s lost a child—everyone who’s lost someone they love. It still hurts, because no matter how thin that gossamer veil is, it’s still too goddam thick. But take heart in knowing that at least we know they’re there. They’re alive. They’re happy. And we’ll be together, because we’re eternal beings. You can’t argue with forever, baby.

    Thank you for remembering what got me here.

    (Arggh. It won’t let me use Verdana or any other font. Just italics vs. plain font.)

    On another subject, I’d like to announce a wonderful opportunity for those living in and around Texas. If not, I think the DVD of this documentary will be available soon:

    The Path Beyond the Physical 

    The Path Austin

  • March23rd


    It’s been a long time since we’ve visited those posts where Erik talked about his own death and death in general. In this three part post, you’ll notice how different Erik is now compared to how he was then.

    Part One:

    Grasping for contact of any sort with a lost loved one is natural. Years before, I would have considered channeling through a medium a little wacky, great fodder for jokes, even. But when Erik died, things I once doubted became urgent lifelines for me to cling to in hope. However skeptical at first, when I spoke to Erik through world-renown psychic, Kim O’Neill, I felt it was truly he. His personality, his wit, his manner of speaking, it was all Erik. Furthermore, she conveyed details she could not possibly have known such as the fact that he suffered from bipolar disease since he was 10 or 11 or the fact that he killed himself while sitting in a chair at his desk in his bedroom.

    One of the first assurances Erik expressed was that we, his parents, did everything we could to prevent it. He said he had contemplated suicide for many years, really and just wanted to make certain he did it in a way that would ensure his passing. In recent months, he even researched all sorts of suicide methods on the Internet. Although he thought about taking an overdose of pills, one of his biggest fears was that he would survive, but remain impaired for the rest of his life. In the end, Erik felt shooting himself in the head assured him the biggest guarantee for “success.” Next, he had to choose a moment when he felt sure we would not be in the house when the gun went off. That opportunity would occur on October 6 during the ill-fated attempt to treat my sister, Teri, my daughters, Annika and Michelle, and my grand baby, Arleen to lunch.

    Naturally, I asked him the heart-wrenching “why” of it all, and here’s what he had to say: “First, guys, I want you to know that you shouldn’t blame yourself. Dad, you’re better about that than Mom, but Mom, do not blame yourself. It is because of you that I lived to be the age that I did. It had nothing to do with school; it had nothing to do with the family; it had nothing to do with my health; I got real depressed when I was about 10 or 11. That’s when the bipolar disorder started. It would haunt me, haunt me. And it was real unpredictable; it would come and go. The lows were so terrible that I knew I wasn’t going to live to an old age. I just needed to figure out how and when to do it without killing you both with grief.” I asked him if, once he decided to take his life, he was afraid of dying and he replied, “Oh no! I was afraid of living!”

    I also asked him what death was like, and he replied with great exuberance, “Oh, Mom, it was great, it was awesome; aw, it was fantastic. When my soul popped out of the body, awww! I didn’t feel any pain. One second I was sitting in my chair, and the next second my soul was out of my body and I was like, ‘this is so fucking great!’ I felt no pain or discomfort. I could fly. I felt happy; I felt joyous; I felt warm; I felt secure. That happiness, that joy was overwhelming. And I was flying around and flying around, then I looked down at my body, and I’m like ‘Oh shit. Oh shit shit shit.’ I was surprised by all the blood! I was so surprised! I wasn’t even thinking about that. I was just thinking about relief. I wasn’t even thinking about what I was going to look like! I wasn’t thinking about the clean up.” Then laughing heartily to himself, Erik announced, “Cleanup on aisle six!” Kim was a little shocked by his irreverent humor, but I assured her that this was very typical of him. This was very “Erik.”

    He goes on to say, “Right after my soul popped out of my body, I heard the gunshot, and at first, I was a little confused to see my own body sitting in the chair. I thought, ‘Wait, I’m here. Why is my body down there?’ But then I realized I was a soul. I was really worried about what would happen when you found me, Mom, so I went to Bestefar’s house in Norway right away. After a while of hanging with him, though, I started to feel real, real, real sorry for what you guys were gonna find. The person I was most worried about was Michelle, because of all the people in the family, she’s the most sensitive. She’s the most vulnerable to being fucked up by something like that.” With a chuckle he added, “But don’t tell her I said that. I don’t want her to be pissed off at me. Mom, I knew you were going to be crushed, but I thought you would be able to deal with it if you knew I was going to be so much happier in spirit and that I was going to be with you. I’m with you all the time, but I’m in spirit and I’m happy. So you have a son who is with you in spirit and I’m safe and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I figured you would be able to understand that and accept it. I’m still with you. I’m with you all the time.” (All of this repetition left me with the impression that Erik was nervous about my reaction. This is exactly how he would talk if he came home after curfew or brought home a bad grade.)

    I will continue to share Erik’s description of his death and his first moments in the afterlife, but this has all exhausted me. I need to rest and lick my wounds.


    Part Two:

    I’d like to dive in to where I left off in the first channeling session with Erik. As he mentioned, after he saw his body and voiced dismay at the “mess” he created and his concerns about how we would react when we found him, he escaped to Norway to visit his grandfather, Bestefar. I’ll get into the abilities of a soul later, including how they travel and manifest whatever they wish.

    Once he was in Norway, he says, “I felt this magnetic pulling sensation, pulling, pulling, pulling me almost like a vacuum. And all of a sudden there I am, there I am! I started looking around and saw that Allie was there! Denise was there! Denise was right there in front.” (As mentioned early, Allie was one of Erik’s former girlfriends killed by an accidental gunshot wound to the head back in March 2009, and Denise was his aunt (my sister) who committed suicide to end years of suffering from the complications of diabetes.) Erik approached Denise, who was standing in front of the others and asked, “‘Did I go to Hell?’ She responded with a big laugh and said, ‘Because you see me?’ Then they both laughed and Denise added, ‘Erik, you idiot!’ They hugged and everyone else came up to hug him and welcome him back to Heaven. Denise told Erik she already knew what he was going to do and asked him if he could just stay for at least fifteen minutes to visit with them before he go back to check in on us.

    At this point, Kim says Erik’s case is a “huge anomaly,” because under ordinary circumstances (if the word “ordinary” can ever be appropriate in this subject matter!) committing suicide before it’s your time to go is a big no-no. Souls that end their lives always have to go through some form of therapy in isolation to help them understand why they did what they did, how they forestalled their chance to work on certain issues, etc. But Erik didn’t have to go through all of these steps, meaning he is probably a higher level soul. (More about soul hierarchy later.) Instead, Erik met and mingled with his soul group, stayed for a short period of time, and then returned to Earth where he’s living with our family now.)

    In the channeling session, Erik continues, “I wanted you to know I was there. Those are the orbs you saw in the pictures you took. That’s me! At first, souls materialize as balls of light and then later we can materialize in a form you can see. And that was me visiting Pappa in the dream where we were standing next to the truck. It was also me in the dream Popi (his maternal grandfather) had of me in his lap. And Mom, that dream Kelley had, that was Allie sitting next to me!”

    Kim adds that Erik is very well liked and is seen as extremely charismatic to others in Heaven. She also commented that Erik is going to be very tangible in dreams. She’s amazed how he already has so much control and power over his energy despite his recent arrival. She says, “This much electrical power is astonishing!”

    Next, I asked Erik if he was more comfortable in the spiritual plane than the physical plane, and he answered, “Yes, it was like having pain all the time like with a migraine or an abscess. I found some peace in Norway, but all the peace I found was fleeting. That’s why I always jumped from one thing to the next, to the next, to the next. That’s why I didn’t stick with anything long-term. The pleasure or enjoyment or stimulation it gave me was always so fleeting. I would start feeling pain again and then I’d jump to something else.”

    Kim then started to get choked up and said, “I see Erik getting on his knees, his hands together as if pleading, and tears are streaming down his face. He’s begging you to forgive him for what he’s done.”

    I plan to practice channeling Erik on my own. If this goes well, I will urge anyone who has lost a loved one to develop their own skill, too. Apparently, everyone has the ability to channel those on the other side, including their own guides. Maybe this will give hope to other parents who have suffered what I believe is the ultimate tragedy, losing a child. If I can establish a relationship with my son in the afterlife, so, too, can they.

    I urge everyone to read about the scientific evidence for the existence of an afterlife, the survival of consciousness after death, the fact that we live many lives, and other matters I once considered the domain of quacks and charlatans. I recommend two books in particular. One is entitled “The Hidden Domain.” This deals with the quantum physics of the soul, consciousness, thought, and the “other side.” You have to digest each page slowly, because it’s pretty heavy stuff! The second book is entitled, “The Afterlife Experiments.” Here, you’ll read about experiments that are performed using strict scientific methods to establish the fact that consciousness, and therefore the soul, does survive after death and communication with departed souls is possible.


    Part Three:

    Through the medium, Kim O’Neill, Erik shared volumes of information about death, but I wanted to start by letting him know that, although I would like to channel him on my own, my grief makes it difficult to have the quiet mind necessary to hear him. Here’s his response:

    “I’m just going to have to talk louder than your grief! Your grief is causing a lot of static. It’s like if we were at a water park, we’d have to talk louder to hear each other.”

    ‘Can you do that, Erik?’ I ask.

    “Oh, sure.”

    ‘But how will I know it’s you and not a conversation I just make up in my mind?’

    “Because you know me, Mom. You know the way I talk. You know my sense of humor. I’m gonna say, ‘Mom it’s me,’ and you’ll know it’s me. You’re going to be able to feel the difference between your grief, your head talk and me. And I’ll talk louder than your head talk so you’re probably gonna have to tell me to keep it down a notch CUZ I’M GOING TO BE TALKING REALLY LOUDLY! Here’s my plan for now. I’m going to be coming to you in dreams, lucid dreams. So I’m coming to you first. In the morning, you’re going to have total recall about what we talk about, usually. If you don’t, when you go to the computer and start typing. It’ll just come out.”

    I ask, ‘How often can you come to me?’

    “Any time I damn well please!” he says jokingly.

    ‘Well then, how often do you think that can be?’ I ask this because I want so desperately to have him with me all the time. It’s funny; when a person is around, you feel okay about seeing them only sporadically. It’s no big deal if they go away on a trip for a week or two and hang out with friends more than home, but when they die, they become the center of your every thought and emotion. You want them to be around you, communicating constantly.

    Erik goes on to say, “Well, I’d like to come every night the day before you wanna write something the next day.”

    That, of course, means I will be determined to write daily. Communicating in dreams, however, is one thing, but feeling their touch is another. So I ask, ‘How can I better feel your presence?’

    Erik assures me by saying, “I’ve been working on building my ability to manipulate physical matter on the earthly plane. Every time we pass away and our soul goes to heaven, we’ve gotta work on our ability to expand our electrical energy so that, if we want to, we can move material objects; we can really make our presence known in the most tangible way possible—to materialize, to touch others, and to have them feel it. That’s what I’ve been working on. So, what I’m going to do is this: I’ll come up and hug you; I’ll touch your arm and you’ll know it’s me; I’ll come up and give you a kiss on the cheek, and I’m going to rub your hair. I’m going to put my hand on top of your head and rub your hair back and forth just like I used to do. Remember how it used to piss you off when I messed up your hair like that?” (He laughs really hard for several seconds. Of course, now, I’d give anything for him to have my hair in a rat’s nest all the time.) “And when you drive you’ll hear me saying ‘Mom, go faster’ or ‘it’s yellow, you can make it; you can make it; go through the light.’”

    ‘Yeah, I remember what a backseat driver you were, Erik!’ I respond with a chuckle.

    He laughs and says, “Yeah, it was easier to be a backseat driver with you than with Pappa, huh? You took it better than he did! And Mom, this is what you’re going to write about in a book: How parents can rise above the grief to actually be able to feel and hear and be aware of their kid around them. You’re also going to be smelling me, Mom. It’ll be the smell like I’ve been working outside, kinda like a sweaty guy smell.” Ah, how well I remember that scent. It wasn’t objectionable to me a all; it was just a sign of how much he loved working outside on cars, bikes, and his welding.

    Erik continues with, “Mom, you did everything you could. The problem was I didn’t listen to you. I thought all that stuff was a bunch of bullshit, but now I know! Oh my God, if only, if only, if only. I created something that was much more stressful than it was supposed to be. Even when I had the gun in my hand, it was like should I, shouldn’t I, should I, shouldn’t I? It happened so fast that my guardian angels couldn’t do anything to stop it. They tried to get other people to call or come over, but there wasn’t enough time.”

    Just before his death, his older sister, Kristina, experienced something that gives Erik’s statement credence. She says, ”I had been reading about learning disabilities and suicidality in children/teens for my behavioral science course, and I of course was thinking about him the whole time that morning. I got a strong urge to pick up my cell phone and text him ‘I love you’ for no apparent reason at all. But it was in my purse in the other room and I didn’t go get it. I feel remorseful about that.”

    On the day of his death, Erik’s younger sister, Annika, and his Aunt Teri recall passing by his room as they walked down the hall to go to the lunch we had planned. In fact, their encounters occurred within ten minutes of his death. They both claimed they saw him sitting at his desk, staring ahead solemnly. Oh, how they wished they had recognized his sadness and stopped to comfort him! In retrospect, these three incidents were most assuredly his guides’ attempts to muster our help and intervention.

    Yet Erik reassures us as he continues, “I know you knew it was a possibility this would eventually happen, Mom, but there was nothing you could have done beside worry and do all the stuff you did to help me. Did you know a third of parents around the world have kids who are suicidal? I know that now. You need to let other parents know that too.”

    ‘Could you tell me more about what it’s like to die, Erik?’  I ask.

    “I literally felt no pain. I felt no pain. Mom, it’s really important to put that down because a lot of kids die in accidents like car accidents or motorcycle wrecks. Some have been murdered; some have drowned. Even if a child has died of a heart attack or cancer, the parent is always going to worry about the pain and suffering they might have had during death. But tell everyone there is no pain. My soul popped out of the body at the moment of my death. I truly felt nothing. You know, Mom, I’m going to be totally honest with you about everything. I felt this shocking, this immediate sense of peacefulness, happiness, euphoria. It was stunning. I felt like I was floating, like I was levitating. After my soul popped out of the body, at that moment, I heard a shot. I can’t gauge the time.

    “I was feeling this awesome euphoria and enjoying it and it then it was as if this invisible hand was telling me ‘look there, look down.’ So I looked down and I thought, ‘holy shit’ and I realized it was me. For a couple of seconds I wondered, ‘how can I be there and be here too?’ And then I realized, ‘Ooooh, it’s my soul! This is my soul! Then I came into this overwhelming knowing about who I really am, all of my past lives. At that moment I could understand what you were trying to help me heal from in those past lives. I got this immediate knowing and I was like, ‘Oh, oh, that’s what Mom was trying to help me with. Wow, she knew!’ I could see you for who you really are, I could see Pappa for who he really is, and Lukas, Kristina, Michelle and Annika, everybody, everybody—family, friends, everyone on the earthly plane. I could see them for who they really are. This knowing was rapturous. I know that’s a word I wouldn’t use on the earthly plane so I’ll say this so you’ll know it’s really me, ‘It was fucking rapturous!’ I all of a sudden had all this wisdom and I thought, ‘Aaawww, why didn’t I have all this when I was there?’ Then I realized I could have. I could have.

    “Mom, that’s where you’re headed. You are going to feel this knowingness, this peace in this lifetime, and then you’re going to teach everybody else in the family. You’re going to feel neutral, objective about the choices other people make. It’s a lot easier being in spirit because you can see someone else’s destiny even when they make choices that change that destiny. Spirits can immediately be neutral and not judge themselves or others.”

    “So of course I already told you what happened when I saw all the mess I made. I knew you were going to find me and that was not my goal. I didn’t think. Once I pulled the trigger I couldn’t change my mind. I felt this horrible sense of loss knowing what you guys were gonna feel and I had my own sense of loss, scared, real scared that you guys weren’t going to be able to pick up on me. I was real frightened about it. Then I had this tragic feeling of grief knowing you were gonna find it, Mom. I knew it. I felt this impossible to describe sense of remorse. Maybe it was even more grief than you feel, Mom, because I did it. I did it. I have no one to blame but myself. I knew I would have to have therapy because of it. So you know I went to Norway right away to see Bestefar (his grandfather), but my guide made me come back and watch when you found me. It was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced, seeing you break down in my lap, sobbing. My guide made me look at what pain I caused for you. It was unbearable.” (Here, Kim, again describes him kneeling, hands together as if begging, tears streaming down his face asking for forgiveness.)

    “Then I felt this pulling, this pulling like a gravitational pull and I heard this “zinnnggg” and all of a sudden I was standing there in front of a whole bunch of other spirits and I recognized them all! There were hundreds of them. I was like ‘Oh, there’s Aunt Sophie; there’s my brother from the Middle Ages,’ I could recognize everybody from all my past lives and my brother from this lifetime.” (I had lost a baby during my 24th week of pregnancy. It was a boy. We named him, Seth. It happened around 16 years ago, so Kim could not have known Erik had a brother on the other side.)

    “There was this big table where everybody was going to sit down…like a family dinner. There was a lot of music, there was a lot of laughing. Oh, and, Mom, I asked four souls from your soul group who aren’t part of your life now if they could help you through all this. I want to do something to help the family. I want to be able to do something for you guys. If there is anything at all I can do to help anyone in the family, please let me know, and I’ll do everything I can. I want to feel like I’m still part of the family. Ask me to do stuff. I can’t exactly take out the garbage but… Spiritual being can move physical objects just as well as you guys.”

    ‘Okay,’ I joke, ‘I’ll get a chore list together for you!’

    Erik laughs, then continues, “Mom, you’re going to notice things have been done, and you’ll ask other people ‘Did you do that?’ ‘Did you do this?’ and they’ll say ‘no’ and you’ll know it was me!” I found that so comforting. Proof of his presence is crucial. I don’t want to feel like I’ve really lost my little boy forever. That would be too much to bear.

    “Okay, let’s get back to what happened next,” I prod. Erik was always easily distracted, just like his mom.

    “Oh yeah, right, Well, I was at this big long table, and I felt dazed. I was still euphoric, but I was dazed. It’s like one minute I was in my physical body and the next minute I was a free spirit without physical limitations, and I kept asking, ‘I’m really a spirit, right? I mean, I don’t get to go back to that lifetime; I’ve let that lifetime go?’ Then I started “the review.” Nobody did the review but me. I was sitting at the table. Uh, I was sitting there and everyone was talking about how happy they were that I’m back. No matter how we pass, we’re always welcomed back with open arms. Everyone is always thrilled to see us again. Anyway, so I’m sitting at the table, and I’ve got my elbows on the table. I’ve got my head in my hands and I’m reviewing my life. I started sobbing when I remembered being a little boy and you calling me your ‘little man’ and doing things with me and telling me what a big man I’m gonna be. I’ve taken all of that away. Those were the worst moments of the review. I want to thank Pappa for treating me like an adult. Pappa, you treated me like an adult for as long as I can remember. Thanks, Pappa; that meant a lot to me.”

    “So I finished my review and I considered what I could have done that I didn’t; what I did do that I shouldn’t have. I don’t know how long the review took. I didn’t mark time. No one here marks time. But it didn’t take long, because the candles were still burning on my cake, my “welcome home” cake. Then I felt this heaviness, this real emotional heaviness. I was approached by this female soul who offered to counsel me; she offered me therapy. So I’ve been going to therapy. She’s not only helping me understand why I did it, why I took my life, but how I can go back to the earthly plane with this heaviness added to the healing I was supposed to do this lifetime without doing the same thing again. Wow, Mom, if I could have seen what I was healing from (in past lives,) no wonder I was so fucking depressed and angry. No wonder, Mom!”

    “I want you to let other people know that we have lots of company here. A lot of parents who have lost kids worry that their kid is all alone, but it’s not that way. We imagine what we want to eat, and it’s right there. We live where we want; we live how we want; we don’t feel hot or cold. Thought creates reality much faster here. It happens in an instant.”

    I only booked an hour with Kim, so, sadly, it was time to wrap things up. I ask him, ‘Okay, I’m running out of time, but do you have anything else you want to say about what it’s like to die?’

    “Shit yeah, tons but don’t worry, I’ve written it all down. We can cover it later.”

    Erik writing things down? Could it be? That might just be the biggest transformation of all! I can hear him laughing in agreement.

    In this video, Erik shows his beautiful sensitive side I adore so much. Ironically, he talks about teaching his niece, Arleen, how to shoot and at the end of the video, I’m wearing the same shirt I wore when I found Erik dead. Now, it’s in the bottom drawer in my closet covered with blood. I don’t know why I can’t throw it away. I guess it’s the only physical thing I have left of him.


  • February16th


    Note: In this session, Erik needed the help of my guardian angel, Veronica.

    Me: Alright, I’d like to get a little clarification on the concept of evil and demonic spirits. I’ve had some tell me there is no evil, that all is Love and all is good. So, are we dealing with semantics here? Are there evil or demonic spirits, and can they harm us?

    Erik: Absolutely. Yes. There’s always polarity: light/dark, happy/sad, good/evil.

    Veronica: So just as there is light and dark, there is good and evil. This is a battle that’s been going on from the beginning. They CAN harm if one allows them in, and they have already caused harm to the earth and people.

    Me: Mmm.

    Erik: Where do you think serial killers and other beings that do horrible things throughout history—

    Me: Is it some fabrication? I mean, I thought that God is really All There Is and that the Light is all there is. Of course we need the duality, so are evil and fear-based elements sort of fabricated as a tool so that, through contrast, we can become aware of who we are and so that God can experience Herself or Himself?

    Veronica: It’s hard to explain. It’s one of those things you find out when you come over here to the other side. Now, Erik’s going to speak.

    Erik: From my perspective, Mom, you know that I used to watch what went on in the world and around me. My way of thinking wasn’t like everyone else’s. So I saw a lot of contradictions. A lot of them.

    Me: Yes, I know. You said the same thing through Kim and Jamie.

    Erik: I saw a lot of sadness, but joy too. I saw kindness and cruelty. I just couldn’t live with all that bullshit. People would be nice one day then mean the next. They’d be pleasant to my face but say such shit behind my back. I felt off-balance all the time. 

    Me: I know, Baby. I know.

    Erik: Not from you, but—

    Me: No, I know. I totally understand, Sweetie. You were so kind to everyone and it was hard for you to grasp why people could be so cruel in return. I definitely saw that conflict within you.

    Veronica: Back to what you said, you’re right. You’re right in that part of it was for us to come willingly to seek out love and kindness and joy.

    Me: Yeah, but you can’t see it if it’s right in front of you without contrast. I guess we have to slog through the dark forest to get to the sunlit meadow.

    Veronica: Exactly.

    Erik: And to answer your original question, Mom, everything is just a gradation of good or of Light. What you call evil or demonic is just at the lower end of the spectrum.

    Me: That confirms what you said through Jamie.

    Erik: Yeah, I know, but I’m still learning about all this. It’s pretty deep shit.

    Erik and I laugh.

    Me: Are there such things as shadows—dark energies that follow someone and prevent them from succeeding?

    Erik: Yeah.

    Me: Really? Why?

    Erik: I like to call them attachments. They’re ghosts, which are spirits who haven’t crossed over into other dimensions. They remain on the earthly dimensions.

    Jamie listens to Erik, and then laughs.

    Jamie (to Erik): I don’t know if we can use that one.

    Erik: Let’s take a fatty.

    Jamie (to Erik): Use a different example.

    Me: Yeah!

    Erik: Okay, let’s use an alcoholic. If it’s a ghost was an alcoholic while they were living and you went to a bar and you’re a good drinker, they can attach to you and enjoy that sensation. Now let’s say you’re done with being an alcoholic, but the attached entity is not. They are feeding you energy that supports you being a drunk.

    Me (sarcastically): Oh, great!

    Erik: You are fighting to be sober, but it’s not working. You’re in conflict.

    Me: How do you get rid of them?

    Erik: It’s really important that you learn how to know—is it your issue, or is it a bigger issue than yourself? Is it an attached entity?

    Me: How can you find out, and how can you get rid of them if that’s the issue?

    Erik: Well, if you’re not spiritually inclined yourself, then you need to go to someone who knows.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: Then—

    Jamie: I just wouldn’t go somewhere where you have to pay an arm and a leg and the person says, “Oh, you have to come back three times.”

    Erik: Yeah, people get wrapped up in the voodoo galore crap. You got someone attached to you? All right, tell them to leave! You set boundaries. You wash yourself; you cleanse yourself; you change your line of thinking so you don’t give your power to what you considered the little voice inside your head as being enlightened, because it’s an attached entity. What? Are you asking this for the first time?

    When he talks about washing and cleansing yourself, I’m sure he must be talking about energy rather than the physical body.

    Me: I know. My bad.

    Erik: I love you.

    Me: I love you, too, you little rapscallion! 


    Just a reminder: This coming Thursday, Jamie and Erik are hosting the next channeling conference call for grieving parents. Jamie can only accommodate six, so sign up soon if you’d like to communicate with your beloved son or daughter. From my own personal experience, I can’t express enough how healing this can be. If you want to register for the call, click on the link below:



  • September30th


    Here I sit in a Kroger parking lot typing this on my phone hoping my CE peeps can help me. Erik put a bullet through his brain at 1:20 P.M. almost three years ago on October 6th. Around that time, I can’t be in my house, because I imagine him sitting in that chair with that 45 caliber Rossi pointed at his  right temple feeling such a sense of hopelessness then pulling that trigger. I remember that call from Maria, her scream when she opened his door, the frantic drive home. I recall so vividly racing for the front door only to find it locked. Banging and screaming over and over until Maria finally opened it, climbing up those stairs  with a mix of fear and determination. Finding him. Oh god, finding him. Burying my head in his lap not daring to look up again at his head. I could hardly recognize him as my son. Then I put my head against his chest and heard nothing. Just a horrible silence that could only mean indisputable finality. I remember the detective guiding me downstairs with such compassion. The crime scene tape. The officers with blue gloves and cameras. The crime scene clean up crew. The sound of them ripping up his carpet. Watching them take his bloody chair downstairs for disposal. Calls for cornea donation. I remember too much. So, please help me. How do can I stand to be in that house this time of day?  As I sob in my car here in this parking lot, people are beginning to stare.

  • September21st


    Today, I’d like to devote this entry to my beautiful son. I’m so proud of you, Erik. In three years, you’ve accomplished so much to make the world a better place. You’ve brought wisdom and love to us all. I’m so grateful to call you my son. I wish you were here for me to give you a great big birthday hug. :( But you’re not.

    Here are some more of what the blog members have to say about you. I can feel you blushing already:

    From Doug:

    To be able to sum up in a few words what Erik has meant to me would be futile. Erik is so many wonderful things it is difficult to express in mere words. Erik has given me an outstanding glimpse into the after life and the non meaning of death. This past weekend in Austin I had a brief opportunity to meet the real Erik through Jamie. Such an outstanding young man. What insight he has and the information he has given to me and others was memorable, unforgettable, prominent, powerful, commanding, and at times breath-taking. I want to “Thank You Erik” for giving your life in service of mine. Thank you for being that beautiful prankster and fun giver you are. You are truly one of God’s great angels. Thank you for your love and support to all of us in the “Channeling Erik” family.


    Erik makes me realize the depth of love a mother can have for her child. Hug.



    Erik has given me hope and a sense that maybe I will see my baby girl again. If not for Erik I would be in a much darker place then where I am now. I still hope to come Across some signs from Erik. But I take comfort in knowing such an amazing young man surrounds my baby Kara. I know she is well cared for until I meet her again. I will always be so grateful for you Elisa, and your sweet sweet Erik. xox 


    Now, on to what Erik means to me.  So hard to put into words, as we have all been in situations that make it abundantly clear that words do not adequately express what is in the heart.  Erik is a beacon of hope, a much needed bathroom along a long hiking trail in the woods (hopefully this analogy makes Erik chuckle).  You can complete your hike without the bathroom, but it’s oh so much better with it.  He has brought a tangible reality to the other side of the veil, as his messages are always amazingly insightful, clear, and on target.  His messages bring comfort and a much appreciated new way of looking at things.  He feels “real”.  He really understands what we are going through and really cares about each of us as well as the whole.  He brings comic relief and a lightness in a way that is easy to relate to.  Most of all, he feels like a pillar of strength, support, and unconditional love.  He is always there and he shows up in the most unique and unexpected ways.  I am in awe of his courage and his heart.  He fills me with joy and hope and I cannot get enough of his insight.  Since we live in a world of duality, the loss to so many in the physical world is countered by a powerful gain as a spiritual guide and cheerleader to so many from the other side.  Saying I feel blessed to be a part of his love and the love of Elisa and the group just doesn’t cover it, but it’s the closest our words can come.    Love M & M


    Erik is the “new kid on the block” in the world of channeling.

    He makes the old feel new. One of his gifts is cutting through the crap and saying how it is.

    He shakes out the curtains, plumps up the cushions and opens the window to let the light in. He says look at the light, look at the sun, wake up to your life. It is meant to be fun.

    With a smile on his face, he says, come in, come in, to this place. You are welcome here. This is your home. This is where you belong.

    Because we’re all a part of this thing called life, existence and beyond. Even when it feels like we do not belong. It is as it is.

    Erik is a dude. Of the highest order. Jemma


    Re your touching Erik tribute:
I am new to the community, but already through reading your blog with Erik’s insights and the comments of your members I feel connected and supported through the deep love we all share for our children. I feel the wisdom shared by Erik/CE is helping me to be more accepting of my son’s disabling condition. Its helping me let go of 5 years of guilt and anger that his injury could have been prevented by me and others. I am trying to replace that with hope that he will be able to express himself through his spirit and fulfill life purpose for his soul in spite of his physical/functional limitations. It have gained a new path on my recovery efforts. Becky


    Sidharth Dugar and family:

    We are little late in sending this, but here’s what me and my family have to say for dear Erik:

    I started reading your blog in September 2010, I dont even remember how I came across it, and now when I look back I guess it was meant to be this way, some connection I had which compelled me to find your blog and get tuned to it forever.

    Erik’s story and the way he came back to comfort you all, sounded familiar to me, as I had already been very influenced by two similar stories, that of Mrs. Nan Umrigar, how her son Karl came to her life after his death, and how he was helped by a Master, Meher Baba weritten in her book Sounds of Silence and of Mrs Khorshed Bhavnagri who lost both her sons in a car crash, and they came back to tell their strory to their parents as well as the whole world through the book called Laws of the Spirit World.


    Reading about Erik only intrigued me further, more so because i am the same age as him and because I started seeing a friend in him.

    The posts on your blog are not only full of knowledge, humour but also offer interesting details about the lives and after lives of the many famous ones, and most importantly comfort me many times when I am low.

    Thanks to You, Erik and Jamie.


    Around sometime in July last year, I got to know about Renuka from one of the blog readers on Facebook, and when I spoke to her, although am sure Erik did know me before, but i got formally introduced to him, and he asked if he could be friends with me? I cannot tell you how happy I was to know this, it was like a validation for me that yes he listens to me.

    Ever since through Renuka, Erik has guided my whole family, myself and so many friends of mine.

    He also got from my school friend who died sometime back, a message for his family. They were happy beyond words.

    He is my Hero and I am so glad he reached out to us.

    Thank you so much Ma’am to have shared ur amazing child, with all of us. I want to thank Meher Baba for allowing all this to happen with us and blessing us with so much love.


    My sister’s tribute to Erik:

    Erik is a friend, guide, and a philosopher. He brings light to us. From the bottom of my heart, i want to thank him, for reaching out to us when we needed him most, for cheering us up and bringing us hope… Life has changed for better. It makes me feel blessed to know we have a spirit friend, who shall always be there to help us, who understands us, who is looking after us. Am grateful to him for everything, for all that he has don’t for us. God bless him.


    Erik’s Second Birthday


    Erik’s Sixth Birthday





  • September19th


    Before we begin this typical Erik topic, I’d like to make a few announcements:

    1) I’m very excited about the response to the San Diego event. If anyone has any questions, please ask them in the comment thread or email me at I know one reader asked about bringing children along. I’m not sure about the answer to that, but I bet there are age restrictions. I can forward Jamie’s assistant if you all want to email me your specific situation. Another reader asked how many would be in attendance. All I really know is that Jamie can’t take more than thirty. The main thing: It’s going to be a fun and life-changing experience. That’s the adjective that everyone seems to use after these events.

    2) I’m almost finished transcribing the Buddha interview. Wow, how amazing it is. As soon as we interview a religious figure from one more faith, we’ll be able to make public all the YouTubes: Jesus, Moses, Buddha, etc. Words just don’t do them justice.

    3) I spoke with Jamie today about the grieving parents session. She wants to keep the groups no larger than six or seven because she feels like more time is needed for parents to communicate with their sons and daughters. It’s so intimate and emotional. She’s also considering hosting such sessions every couple of weeks if there’s enough interest. Here are some questions you might consider asking:

    a) Are you happy?

    b) Who was there when you passed?

    c) Do you have any messages for me, your siblings, girlfriend/boyfriend, etc.?

    d) Was it your destiny to dies when and how you did? If so, why?

    e) Was your death painful?

    f) Did we have some spiritual contract and was if completed/honored?

    g) Was there anything I could have done?

    h) How can I best communicate with you?

    i) How can I help you?

    j) Have you been trying to communicate with me? If so, how?

    k) Did you like your memorial service? What did you like about it?

    l) Why did you do it? (if the death was by suicide)

    m) Did we share a past life that most influenced the one we had this last life?

    n) Was I a good mother/father?

    o) Do you have a life’s work there?

    p) Who are you with? Who do you hang out with?

    q) Can you describe your afterlife?

    r) Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?

    s) What do you do for fun there?

    t) When I grieve, is it sometimes because you are nearby?

    I could go on and on. If I think of any other questions, I’ll let you know. If you think of questions, please feel free to make comments, because it will help those parents who grieve their loss. Now, let’s see what Erik has to say today. This came from a two-part question.


    Me: Erik, your individuality is very much intact in the afterlife as is everyone we’ve interviewed. If you were to reincarnate back to the Earth as another person or individual, what happens to the current individuality? Is it replaced by your new, reincarnated identity?

    Erik (in a smart ass, sugary tone): Tell the kind reader—

    Jamie and I laugh hard.

    Erik: Tell the kind reader—

    Jamie: Oh, Erik! He’s being silly, okay? So—

    Erik: —that my personality as Channeling Erik has become so big that no matter if I reincarnate or not, it won’t trump the mark of this personality that has been created.

    Me: God, Erik! You sure are too big for your breeches, Mister Man! Maybe you need to be taken down a notch or two!

    Jamie: That’s definitely how it sounds, how he’s coming out with it.

    Erik: Think about it. We’ve had these other lifetimes, so those personalities, they’re not dead. Let’s just remember for a second –TIME IS NOT LINEAR.

    Me: Right, right.

    Erik: If time were linear, we truly would have an ending to what was created.

    Me: Um hm.

    Erik: But it’s not. Just because our souls divide as we have these lifetimes and these occurrences, right? That doesn’t mean that we are lesser than or that we’re getting smaller than our existence used to be. If I reincarnate, which has already been done, I already have future lives—if we’re looking at time as linear—and look, I’m still here.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: I mean, it’s already happened! I’m still here!

    Me: Are you reincarnated on Earth right now in terms of our linear existence on this plane—in our lifetime?

    Erik: No, it won’t be in your lifetime.

    Me: Okay, because if you were I’d try to track you down!

    Erik: Punch it up!

    (I have no idea what that means.)

    We all laugh.

    Me: When we pass over to the afterlife, are we able to interact with the souls and spirits of the various individuals we’ve been in the past?

    Erik: Yes.

    Me: Okay. Amber wants to ask you this question, Erik: “My question for Erik would involve himself. He seems to have so very, very quickly freed himself up to do the sterling work”—I hope this doesn’t make you, you know, even more pompous than you already are! Are you pompous now, Erik, or are you still the humble Erik that I’ve always known?

    Erik (laughing): No, no, no, no! I’m still humble. I just play the role of being pompous.

    Jamie giggles.

    Me: Okay, good, good. Okay let’s see, “To do the sterling work for humanity and want to help his mom with her grief so that she can share this work with him. So, I just don’t know how it is. My dad went over two years ago and said that he was in the spirit world learning. I guess that someone like him, who didn’t believe in the afterlife, adjustment would be harder than for someone who did.” So, I guess she wants to know why you so quickly evolved to be this person doing all of this humanitarian work, and other people who have passed over haven’t evolved to that degree. I guess—

    Erik: It was my purpose!

    Me: Okay, so it was your purpose; other people have different purposes.

    Erik: It was totally my path and my purpose, yeah. With some people, their path is a little more personal.

    Me: Okay.

    Erik: And with mine, it wasn’t. I didn’t want to be as quiet as when I was on Earth.

    Me: Oh gosh, you were quiet.

    (This is so true. While he was “alive”, Erik was so quiet, so under the radar and, well, invisible, really.)

    Me: And of course there are probably countless others who are doing work on a grander scale like you, Erik.

    Erik: Sure! Of course.

    Me: Anything else on that?

    Erik: I’m not a pompous asshole.

    Me: Well that’s good to hear, Sweetie. I can’t imagine you being so, because you never ever were.

    The Pompous Cat

    The Pompous Cat

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