Channeling Erik

November2nd

17 Comments

Rallying Around Chitra

Posted in: After Death Communication, Afterlife, Bereaved, Between Lives, Channeling, Communication from the dead, Contact with the dead, Crossing over, Death, Death of a Child, Death of a sibling, Grief, Grieving, Heaven, Life After Death, Loss of a sibling, Love, Messages from the dead, Sibling relationships, Struggles, Suffering, Suicide, Violent deaths

Thanks everyone for rooting for my mother. She did very well, despite her age (82) undergoing a colectomy, a reversal of her colostomy with reanastamosis. I will spend much of the week in the hospital, so I hope you’re patient with the paucity of new transcriptions. Again, take the time to catch up or revisit past posts.

Today, I’d like to extend a heartfelt call to help a dear blog member, Chitra. (Ask Erik: Chitra’s Questions). I understand her torment, because I struggle with this longing, this pain, every day. I’m hoping some of you can offer her some comforting words and love.

Chitra’s Email

Dear Elisa,

I AM VERY SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY. HONESTLY I WENT OUT OF MY THOUGHTS AND SEVERAL ARGUMENTS WITH MY HEART AND LAVANYA, AND STILL NOT GETTING BACK FROM THOSE.

AND ALSO I AM WORRIED IF IT IS CORRECT TO SEND THIS BIG LETTER TO YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR WORKS AND TAKE YOUR VALUABLE TIME. BUT I WANT TO SHARE THESE THINGS TO YOU. GENERALY I AM ALWAYS ALONE AND THE LONELYNESS IS MY FRIEND FOR ALL THE TIME I AM NOT USED TO TALK WITH ANYBODY IN MY LIFE WHAT MY HEART SAYS AND OFCOURSE THERE IS NOBODY FOR ME (ONE PERSON TO WHOM I BELIEVED A LOT AS MY SOUL AND EXPECTED A LOT FOR THE HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE THROUGH MY DAUGHTER -MY DAUGHTER – SHE ALSO LEFT ME ALONE) AND THE DEATH OF MY DAUGHTER MADE ME TO SHUT MY MOUTH FOR EVER. THE ONE GOOD THING IS I GOT THE FRIENDSHIP OF NANCY -WHO HEARED MY CRIES ( AS SHE WAS ALSO LOST HIS ONLY ONE SON AND MORE OR LESS WE BOTH ARE SAILING IN THE SAME BOAT) AND HELPING/ ENCOURAGING ME WITH HER WORDS WHENEVER I GO DOWN.

AND NOW I FIND YOU, AS YOU ARE HELPING TO ALL EQUALLY IN THE SAME KIND AND WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION, THIS IS VERY GREAT. YOUR ARE WITH VERY KIND HEART AND HELPING MIND. AND IT IS MY PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU AND I AM SENDING YOU THE BELOW MESSAGE HPOING THAT YOU DO NOT MIND ON SHARING THE BELOW MESSAGE WITH YOU, THANK YOU.

Dear Elisa,

Thank you very much again for you and Erik. I am still in surprise and several thoughts are blowing in my mind. The whole day I behaved as a mad with joy and cry. Elisa , no need to explain you as you are the mirror of the wounded hearts like me and I can see this because you spoke with Lavanya as she is your daughter with my real feel in you, I can say to you only thank you ……….

I read the messages of my daughter and heard each and every word as herself she is talking with me.

I enjoyed a lot from the beginning to end of it. The way Erik introduced her, and her speeches with you – as she mentioned the word “ WE” for all of you , and her request with you and your answers to her in a kind way like “ Sweetie”, and her kidding with me and my son for my question, it is a real one, I and my son laughed on that comment long time ( he got a change and support of his sister and repeat these words “ not take the advice “ to play with me for joking) O! it’s very amazing for me, I really felt that my daughter is standing in front of us and telling these all, after a long time we three got conversation as we did in the past – Elisa , these all because of you and Erik, I thank you again – and it is 100% true , because after her death I stunned on the results what I gained in my life and I almost standing at the end part ,so I have already gave this advice to my son – not to ask my advice for anything, because I am not capable of it as I failed in all the way what I did . My child told the truth only. And about his brother – focusing on money – yes, she is right – but I want to tell the real situation.

You know, the sudden death of my daughter made an another earth quake and t- tsunami , whatever you call ( one I had when my husband left me with these little kids – Lavanya at the age of Nine and my son at the age of seven -alone on the road ) and I became like mad with her thoughts , and my son left his job to be with me almost one and half years and when finally found a job in the company where my daughter was worked near to our town, he met with an severe road accident – he went under the huge -road roller machine – imagine it, – the one good thing is the incident was happened near to his office ( in the morning 9 a.m when he went to the office)– as he joined in that company – the owner and the staffs immediately took him to the hospital and gave first aid then informed me – I woke up again from my girl’s thoughts and ran behind my son – the kidney, the heart, shoulder, stomach and all over the body was injured. He could not breathe by himself. There is no tiny amount of money with me and nobody is with me – only tears, cry … after one month in I.C.U, he crossed the danger condition and after for two months treatment, we came to home. As my company owner and my daughter’s company owner – well knew about our situation and the sudden death of my daughter ,they wish to save this boy at least ,they give the amount in advance and I settled the bill. Now we are left with a big huge amount of debits on our head, we both do not know how long we have to be here to settle all the money back with our little salary (my son- after seven months – he recovered from all the injures ) This sudden big another tragedy after my daughter’s death I was totally out , but in order to do my duty – to save my son’s life – I am continuing this painful journey without any meaning. Now you tell me is it wrong if my son focus on money at this stage? Lavanya knows it well, but apart from that she wants him to be more specific with happiness than money, I know this is the true one – but what to do? If we wish or not we are in the need of money only to settle the debits and to get some peace of mind, that’s all.

I really wanted to know from her about his future life –that means – does he (the only person in our family) get a good life and could get married and get good wife and children and live here for long time happily? Because For me and for Lavanya there is no chance for that.

Even though I have learnt a big lesson that is “Do your duty, do not expect the benefits of it” which are the golden words advised by Lord Krishna In our Holy book “baghavat geeta” and also the true meanings of his ten moral advices to the human beings in this world, I am now totally out of those thoughts – which we thought – the money, prestige, try to live high standard life as others are the necessary in this world. (Now everything looks me a huge weight on my head – the little, little things even the four plastic ordinary chairs – which I bought with very eagerly to make sit those people who come with bridegroom to see my daughter before fixing the marriage. And I can say each stories like this – and all the necessary things which I gathered – only for my daughter – but now everything is here but she is not here. I want to quite from these all, I need one place where only calm and peace and true love, but my son is telling that “ how can you find a clean place as all the places are already full of mud here? You have to live here with all these “) But still as a mother I am worried about my son and about his future – what will happen? Who will take care of him as there is nobody except me in this world? And at the same time one part of my heart is not willing to think on these all and advice me let it all as it will happen, you cannot change anything. But still I wish at least he could live with happy here, that’s why I asked her this question. But she is very smart and answered he knows how to live and does not give specific answer .why?

And again about the lesson for me – I do not understand that if she is telling me good or bad. But I really very much worried on her words that she hurts with me, what I have to do to stop that? Elisa, do you have any idea for me to make my daughter to be happy there.

Ultimately I come to know that she is still with my thoughts as I am here and she is worried about me a lot , we both suffering a lot here and there ,there is no word to describe these all, why? Why?

And I am very much tired both in mind and heart thinking that my daughter is telling that, she will be happy there as long as I am happy – see, how she is – with pure love on me- am I capable of it? This love makes me more worst and weep on her. What does the god gets by punishing us like this? Does he bind?

I understand that eventhough we loss all, there is no end for our tragedy, it is keep on going for nothing.

And the home – where she died- nobody is willing to buy the home – I could not stay there with her thoughts – I am hiding in the dark in that home with full of her memories –recalling it – and making new imagine stories as my daughter is with me there and at last ending with huge cry.

Elisa, my friend, I took your long time. But I could not control myself and the fingers are not stopping, the words are coming out by tearing my heart to tell you all and weep with you.

Regards,

Chitra

My Response

Oh my dear Chitra, when I read this letter I feel physical pain in my heart. My tears flow like a tormented river. Oh, how I wish to help you so much. It seems like the people or company responsible should pay all of your son’s medical bills and give him money for pain, suffering, and lost income. Have you consulted a lawyer?

I am amazed that Lavanya said she only had one brother. I didn’t know that, so that makes me really believe the whole thing is true. She had a great attitude. She has a lot of spunk and fire, a great sense of humor.

Remember you are never alone. Lavanya is with you all the time. I and the rest of the Channeling Erik family have you in our hearts so we are with you too. I understand, now, why Lavanya thinks you need to move to another place. Her memories haunt you. She will follow you anywhere, so if you move, you will not lose her.

Is it okay if I post this letter? The Channeling Erik family may have very good suggestions or ways to help you, so I’d love their advice. What do you think?

Also, I would like you to keep my phone numbers with you always and if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.My home number is 713-461-6912 and my cell number is 713-806-9321. Everything will be fine. Don’t worry.

My love and prayers to you,

Elisa

Chitra’s Response

Elisa,

I was silent for some hours with full of tears (it is still) feeling a big mountain pressing my heart.

If I am near with you I would have been started with huge cry, holding you……………….

My heart and mind and eyes are very thirsty to seek the happiness along with my alive daughter ……but they are returning like a ball – hit on the wall and tired more and more and with a great war left with lot of questions – WHY these all happened with us? – Who is doing this for what?  -What does it want from us? – How to behave to recover from this? – Does god helps for good people? If yes, then why he did not do it for us? – If everything happens as our destiny then what is the meaning of our sixth sense and for our attitude/enthusiasm/ hard work to success on our life and about the faith with god? What is the way to destroy myself for ever- neither in this world nor that world – nowhere- I want to ruin this Chita from bottom root for ever. Why I am still in this suffer as I already ready to give up all and quit away? To whom – I have to submit this project of my life, who is controlling on me and insisting me to do this all? Well, if he wants to me to learn to live with kind and love – why did not I find at least one person like that on my life journey -   …………………………Elisa, do you feel if there is some meaning in these questions?

Elisa, for your question – I  have to explain this – As my son was joined in that company only twenty days before ( as I told you he left his job which was related to his study and to be with me as there is no another choice he was forced to join in this textile company – which is not related to his study )of that accident and it was happened on the way while he was going to the office in the morning time. And as we are working in private companies there are not such rules followed and more over these all, we two only left with blinded eyes in the world with huge pain of losing Lavanya  and with ruined dreams of future and do not know what to do further, if we could go ahead or not…… this big another tragedy made us to keep silent for always and to be away from the outside world – ( you know on seeing the continuous tremendous tragedies which cannot compensate with whatever except our death – all the people – including the few relations (who are for the name only from the beginning) -stunned and hided themselves from our way . I also do not have any contact with anybody as always and it’s going as it is. But you know ,those who doubted that I will lose my son also in this game – but somehow – he is back again – and after these seven months – he is recovered well - now I can see the jealousy of the people – in the office and the neighbors - this is the human being nature. And I always against to this and struggling from the beginning with that along with my routine struggles – but I failed in the end).

Honestly, I am here only to settle the debits – as I do not want to bother my son for this. I will support him feeling that I am helping a person who is lonely in this world  and as well as with the grief of my daughter on the other side. It is a very difficult role for me to act.

Yes, there is no doubt and Lavanya only can speak like that with me because these are not just a conversation between us but our feelings, our love spoke with each other. I 100% feels it,  she was already with Erik – that means  my child also seeking a way to let me know about her and her love with me. I am keeping the papers with my heart and kissing them as she is with me on those letters…………………….. And there is no need to say you, how much suffers I am going through without her, as are you well aware of that.

Elisa, Yes, I tried a lot to sell that home and to settle the debits and to move somewhere else, but as Lavanya died there, nobody is willing to buy that home and more over the neighbor is spoiling the customers mind that the house is not a good one . We are silent on seeing these all as we are tied up with too many loses in front of this world, we do not have any interest and energy to go behind with these nonsense.

I do not mind to post this letter. And now I know there are still some people with good heart in this world. But you know Elisa, I always wanted  to live a gentle life and hence when my husband ( my marriage was fixed with my own uncle, got married at my age of sixteen , OF course he loved me a lot – but due to heavy losses in his business – one day he suddenly – left me alone with my kids and till date I do not know if he is alive and where he is ) left me, I aimed to make a good life for my children as I do not want to punish my children for his mistake and I should have to take care of my children in my own as they are mine. And for that how many difficulties I have faced… it is a long story, I struggled a lot to put my journey in the right path and began to run to catch the ordinary life as others, Of course, my kids also suffered a lot in the young age by transferring the schools often, living for two years in their grandma’s home – but I did the best of my level for them with the little money what I earned as working in an communication department in an office. I made the children to get a degree course -  ( my daughter - in computer, my son – in electronic)   and after Lavanya started to go to work, we had some more money and with that  we bought a small home ( Lavanya only took all the steps for it and because of her only we made it – but at that time we do not know , the home will take her breathe!) only four years back and her marriage also fixed next to that, as I assumed it was a good alliance and Lavanya will be very happy for ever and I agreed to give what they asked ,even though it was really huge for my level , but I had the courage that I can manage, I did all very well , and  all the people are stunned and appreciated me that it was really great and exclaimed on my growth  – home, the children with good education and with good behavior , the marriage – a single woman did this all – I was very much happy at that time and thanked god ( I always believed with god and my daily prayer to god was – do not let me down, take care of we three and be with us until we go from this world, do not bring any bad thing ,even if there is no good things for us) very much , these all because of her blessings, and my true honest sincere hard work. But for my twenty years suffers – I had these little happy moments just only for ninety days - yes only for ninety days………………………

My daughter …………….., It’s very hard for me to share this tragedy, please.

I hate to stand as a sympathy creator in front of others, but whatever the things I, of course everybody, do not want to have in their life I had those all one by one without any gap to realize what and why they happened and they made my life as a fun or an episode with full of tragedy for time passing, and still I am like that , which I do not want, but now I lost all my energy to fight against it and let it all to go as it is.

Thank you very much on giving your phone numbers to me.

Elisa, This Friday we have a big great and grand festival in India. Here all are busy with shopping, making sweets, and programming for tours……. This is the third year for me to have this without Lavanya – I am full of those events of past festivals with Lavanya and with the spoiled dreams which we both planned to celebrate together with her and her kids……..

I do not where I should have to hide on these days and how to push them.

Elisa, I think I have started with you also as I am doing with Nancy. Sorry.

Regards,

Chitra

My Response

I think if we put your suffering out there to the Channeling Erik family, you will receive so much love and comforting advice. I also believe that there is someone responsible for your son’s accident. Who ran him over? What company did that person work for? They should pay your debts and more. Have you consulted an attorney/lawyer? Maybe you call it a barrister.

Love,

Elisa


If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

  • Shree

    Chitra,  reading your life story, I am amazed at the sheer strength you have shown in facing life’s blows head on… I am from India too and I only know too well how hurtful the society can be .. All the things you said about neighbors, relatives etc I can vouch for that from personal experience .. They can be very hurtful in their remarks, jealousy.. See, the problem is, the society there is not evolved … So people are still petty and materialistic …. I have had my share of troubles from that .. And initially I was very sad … But then you step back and wonder why are you different from them .. How can ‘Chitra’ be so loving and compassionate when everybody around her hurts her … That’s when you get the answer … You are more evolved spiritually .. Just look at these petty relatives and neighbors and think they are immature souls and have compassion for them for they know not what they are doing … Don’t pay any heed to anybody’s remarks and never for even a minute let them get to you  … you are a great person , a wonderful mom, and very strong person at heart ..

    Yes, life has been really difficult for you… It’s in fact an understatement when I say that…. Many people have been through a fraction of what you have been through and given up.. My own uncle committed suicide because he could not handle life anymore… I myself have been so bogged down on multiple occasions have considered ending it all … So you , my friend are a trooper to hang in there and I really look up to you .. Please understand that Lavanya is in a good place now and she is always by your side… Here is s suggestion … I do this at times when i miss my lived ones and it works ….When you feel sad about her and miss her ( I only imagine how much you must be ) close your eyes and think of her … you will see her in your mind … Clearly…. Meditate on her and spend a few minutes talking to her in your mind … Then when u open your eyes you will feel immensely better and ready to face the world again .. Dont worry too much about your son .. Love him and do what you can to help him and be there for him … Beyond that, dont worry about his future etc … We all have our blueprint when we are born and your son has one too .. His life will be what he has decided for himself for optimum spiritual growth … So he will be fine… When you worry too much about him you are not helping in any way , in fact you are spoiling your health and depriving him of a happy mother … So don’t worry chitra … Hang in there and be calm and peaceful … When you are calm and peaceful , you will attract the same from the universe.

    If you have an email id pls send it to me and I can send you my telephone number … Like Elisa said you have a family here that cares about you and loves you and we are rooting for you to pull through this .. Praying for you, Chitra

    You are right , Elisa is a Godsend for all of us… It’s her blog that’s bringing us together to help and support each other through these times… Thank you Elisa and Erik… You are the best :)

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Aw Shree, you are such a treasure. I’m so glad Chitra has you as a friend especially since you live in India too. That gives me such comfort! We are all blessed to have you!! I’m going to try your channeling technique too. All of us who suffer such losses might wish to do the same. Love you!

  • BeFreeMyAngel

    Chitra – I share your pain and suffering and anguish you feel. I wish I could give you a big hug and share with you my love. Im not eloquent with words and Im not good at getting my feelings out but your anguish over your life is exactly how I feel. I didn’t have a husband who left the family, for I know exactly where he is, yet he abused his children in unspeakable ways and I left him, but he might as well have left us. I did not bring four children into this world to be fatherless, yet they are. I live on very little income. I feel like my kids have been hit with one hurdle after another surviving abuse, physical and mental handicap, learning disabilities, depression, trying to hurt themselves and others, they can hardly function without a great deal of support. Sometimes I feel like I have already failed them. I am only one person and I can’t raise these kids to be valuable citizens on what I have yet, if I leave them with sitters and to their own devices they do not behave and get along well with others. I am dealing with grief of loosing my ten year old child too. Now I have very little steam each day to go forward, but I push, some day’s I cry all day, others I can find a few small things to be thankful for. Some days I can find nothing to be thankful for. That is the nature of the beast I deal with, we are all different in our journeys and I wish I could reach across the oceans and give you a hug, this is the best I can do. I will send you love and light and peace and blessings and please know that I share in your pain and I am so sorry you have to feel this way and go through these things♥

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      How beautifully loving to extend your love despite your own anguish. I send my love to you, you angel here on earth.

  • http://sites.google.com/site/kookyspookyookyjournal/ Jason

    Chitra,
    I do not know your whole story, as I have not had the time to read all the posts on Elisa’s blog. But as I was reading this email I felt the strong desire to formally Connect with Spirit. After doing so I started writing as I read your letters. I strongly feel that the words do not come from me, but from those with you in Spirit. Inspired not directly channeled. I don’t have any way of validating the truth or falsehood of the following text. But, I am guessing it to be from your Angels, or those who love you. I strongly feel it was more than one voice speaking to me. I did not have any vision per say, only that when I think of what I’ve written out, I See a wall of light. I don’t know what that means. So I’ll leave the meaning up to you.
    Love and peace,
    Jason

    “The comfort you seek cannot come from an external source, but from within. Within your soul, you have the power to overcome your soul’s grief and pain sitting within your darkness. If only you look up from within, you will see that you are never alone. But a part of the cosmos. A beacon of love, a symbol for motherly love. An example of the divine love that radiates from the Source of all Universal light. A message of love to all who read your story. A symbol of love to your children and communities. You do not See right now, and the broader perspective is hidden by your grief. But through your perseverance, you will emerge into light before you pass. Glory of love and peace will surround you through the end of your years. It’s up to you to find the meaning of it all to carry you through to the end. Do you stay in the dark well looking up at the light and cry for the passing clouds? Or do yo hunt for the ladder in the darkness to climb out. It is a common symbol for everyone. How to apply our grief and pain to our future life. How do we transform grief and pain to serve others in our lives. We think we are stumbling around in blindness and in the dark. But in reality you have wrapped a wool cloak about yourself. We must seek ways to pull that cloak off. For under it is a shining robe of glowing silk. Wrapped in love we can not understand in this life time. We must seek to let others see the love and light of our humanity though our daily life. Sometimes that is as simple as a strangers seeing a mother’s love for a child. Sometimes that is a simple tear for their pain. Sometimes that is a smile of compassion. Often the biggest lessons and resolutions we will take from life is the contemplation of the long journey and the experience of life’s little moments. Destiny and the future is not set in stone. Only those close to the divine can see all the possibilities of what might be, but even that is always in flux. For we will not forbid the hearts desire. Even so, remember and know that your hearts desire is close to our souls wish. But the movement and change you seek is within you, not those around you. Find the power of your love, the power of your compassion, the power of your forgiveness, the power of your convictions, for they are your secret weapon. They will carry you through to the next phase of your life. You have much that you might do that you are unable to see. It is up to you to discover it. For that is the crux of human existence, to find the power of love within ourselves. To let others see that light as a beacon to enlightenment. It is up to you to accept such words. To question is but a natural part of the great journey. It is up to you to hear, up to you to accept love in return, wherever it may be found. It is a choice you do not have to accept. Seek out the peaceful spaces in the sun where ever you can. Close your eyes, lift your head up to the sun and pour your love out to your child, to the sun, to the Spirits of Heaven. Accept what ever love you may find in return. The smallest flower, the lightest breeze, the faintest warmth of the suns rays can be symbols of our love for you. For in the end it will be the memories of life’s quiet moments, symbols, signs, and dreams of love that will carry you to the peace of Heaven and into the next life. Love found will never be truly lost and will be rejoined all too soon in the Spirit Divine never to be lost again.

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      This is so clearly a Divine message Jason. I hope it brings Chitra peace.

  • KateC

    Much love for Chitra. I’m holding you up in love from across the globe.

  • http://sites.google.com/site/kookyspookyookyjournal/ Jason

    I just wanted to say on a more personal note, how very sorry I am about your pain and loss. I am praying that you find the peace you seek. Love and happyness your way,
    Jason

  • Shannon

    Jason, you ROCK!

    Chitra,

    I send thoughts and prayers of love and compassion to you. May you find the love and comfort of the Divine within you so that you will know you are never alone.

    Blessings,

    Shannon

  • buddy boy

    Take your time damb it!

  • Alexis

    Dearest Chitra,

    I would like to share a quote that I really love with you, which helps me when I’m feeling lost; it is from Eleanor Roosevelt:

    “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself’ I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.’”

    I am so deeply sorry for your pain, the terrible losses you have experienced and the difficult life challenges you have endured. You are a very brave and honorable woman, a wonderful mother who clearly loves her children very much.

    Shree’s suggestion to hold your daughter’s image in your mind in order to feel her loving presence that is with you, always, would be a great way for you to still be with her. Please just try to relax, if just for a moment and focus on being with her, with love and joy–your love for her and her love for you can help you to do this and to enable you to heal. You must focus your heart and soul on the LOVE–not the loss!

    Please know that what Jason has said is true, that there is light within your own soul which you are going to be able to find. You and your son are not alone, you have friends who are here for you and will carry you in their hearts and prayers. Your souls inner courage, determination and LOVE will not fail you–you are not alone!!!

    I also agree with Elisa, that the driver and company responsible for injuring your son should be held responsible. I know how tired you must be, but please, at least ask a lawyer about this matter!

    I wish you continued hope and courage and send you and your son much LOVE!!! XOX

  • guitarlinda

    Dearest Chitra, Only you know how you feel but I can empathize with your pain. In my darkest time, I wanted to end my life but I found many things that helped me and I am very happy now. These things helped me: I decided to help others as best I could so I volunteered at a nearby school to help children with their reading, I visited nursing homes, the hospital and other places where I played music or read stories or listened to others. I called or wrote to people who I thought might be lonely or sad. It was very difficult and scary for me at first to leave the house and be active. Counseling was most helpful as well.

    I also starting writing about all the things I was grateful for including beauty of all kinds, happy memories, the blessings in my life, my abilities to walk and hear and see. Also I made myself exercise almost everyday. All of these things helped little by little.
    I am most hopeful that something suggested here will give you an idea or spark of energy to try. Blessings, Linda

  • Alexis

    Dearest Be Free My Angel,

    You are clearly a very courageous woman, a devoted and loving mother who has also sacrificed much for her children. I believe that your children chose you to be their mother for your ability to help them, to guide and nurture them, to love them unconditionally and to be their mother lioness; fiercely giving your all for them! You have bravely undertaken such a difficult and challenging lifetime, both for yourself and for your children. You are doing so from a place of unselfish love and with the intent to be and do the very best for these beautiful souls, you included! You are not alone, you have a special place in the hearts of us all and it is so important to know that; even though it most certainly must feel that way so often!
    I send you much love and hope for a positive, bright and happy life for you and your beloved little ones. XOX

  • chitra

    Elisa and dear Friends,

    Thank you, I have gone through all of your replies. I have shared a little out of my life diary ( sorry, it is full of tragedy only, and the happiness – for which I tried a lot to get through my children’s happy life – but It was not stable with me even in the dreams!!!!).

    Shree, Jason – you touched my heart. no words to express my thoughts to you, but I should say that I have started to train myself and put my mind in that way as you told ( but it is very difficult for me to continue this life with the outside world – which is running as it is – I am not blaming it- but even though there is nothing for me with others, I struggle a lot to control myself and to be usual at work place without tears – and with the news of those married girls in the age of my daughter ….. but I am still trying to come out of these all) and a lot and a lot of questions arising and going back and forth and arguing myself to seek the truth in the dark.

    Shree, My email I’d is mothi_singh@yahoo.co..in
    As you are from India, You know, the Diwali festival – on 5th November, I am busy in the dreams with my daughter Lavanya – ( which we both planned together to celebrate this festival after her marriage ( but she went without seeing anything ) -lot of works – shopping, decorating the home, preparation of sweets, crackers, Lakshmi pooja, – the house is full with my Lavanya and her family and with noise – yes, with her kids – one boy and one girl – I bought new dresses for them – so many sweets and delicious dishes, too busy on too much of works, laughs , funs ……. O! I should have four hands and 48 hours per day! ) Somebody is disturbing my dreams – asking with questions – purchase all are over? What is the program on the holidays? Where are you going? …….., I awake and blinked without answers and quit that place. I do not know how can I push these days. Slowly I am training myself to accept these all in a quite way.

    Regards,

    Chitra

  • Skoshi

    Dear Chitra, you have had so many life blows that it leads me to believe you made a very ambitious life plan before reincarnating. Not only that, but you incarnated as a woman in a place that is very hard on women. There are news reports here that it often happens in India that when men no longer wish to be married to their wives, they douse them with gasoline and light them on fire. Your husband left you and your children on the side of a road when they were only little ones. How horrible for you and them. But you did your best and all of you survived. You are a credit as a mother. It hurt my heart to read your words that you are a failure. You are not. You are struggling against VERY hard circumstances. Please know that the good forces of the Universe are behind you. Pour your loving heart energy out and it will come back to you. It IS coming back to you, but you are so wounded it is hard to feel the comfort.

    I know your circumstances seem very bleak, but as a fellow traveler on this earth, I (and a lot of others reading your words) can assure you that NONE of us can predict tomorrow. Worrying about it eats up a tremendous amount of energy and does not accomplish any good. Your future may be FAR better than you could ever imagine. Best to be thankful that your husband abandoned you rather than doing something even worse; that your son received help and survived despite overwhelming odds; that through Elisa you and your daughter have had a chance to openly communicate; and that we are sending you love and support. We are your true sisters and brothers.

  • http://channelingerik Pat

    Jason…I am in awe of what you wrote. How did these words come to you?

    Chitra…we are all with you in spirit as you question the “why” of your life. I feel that this blog may help you with the reason that we are walking the path we have chosen.

    Now, it is up to you to end the suffering. As Jason, suggests, look for love everywhere because it is everywhere if you truly “look”. If your perception is only of suffering and misery, it too, will be everywhere.

    I truly believe that in order to end one’s suffering, one has to stop seeing “me” in terms of my pain, my loss, my suffering. When you stop looking at the “me” and see the world IS “me”, then you will realize that you are not alone– separateness is but an illusion.

    When we “suffer” we isolate ourselves from others. When we “love” we rejoin the power of all of life because the ending of suffering is love.

    Remember Chitra, you have the power, it is within you to chose that which you see in life. It is your choice and no one else’s. Seize it, own it–take that ladder and climb out of the well.

    We all love you Chitra and know in our hearts that you are on your way. You are beginning with self-reflection which will light your path to understanding and then the belief that you CAN do it!

    God bless you on your journey.

  • BeFreeMyAngel

    (((((((((((Alexis))))))))))), thank you !

    ((((((((((Chitra)))))))))), enjoy the festivities, make new traditions, Peace and Blessings♥

Return to the Homepage