OMG Moment
Lot’s of things to share with you guys before I post another Ask Erik question later on today. First, something really cool happened this morning. On the way to work or school, my daughter, Michelle usually stops by with Arleen, my first and only grandbaby, so I can mercilessly kiss on the two of them and so she can borrow Annika’s hair straightener. Arleen is now two years old and today is huge: first day in daycare. Anyway, while I was making a cup of coffee for Michelle, Arleen, starts running around the kitchen screaming happily. Not atypical for her, but she kept looking behind her like someone was chasing her. Since she and Erik were so close, I thought I’d ask, “Who is it, Arley?” She looked at me matter of factly, occasionally glancing toward the den, and said, “Is Erik.” (She doesn’t believe in using pronouns yet.)
This brings such comfort, because children her age have yet to be “contaminated” by any sort of indoctrination or suggestions. Out of the mouth of babes…
I knew, then, that Erik was in the room playing with her as he loved doing when he was “alive.” I couldn’t see him, but she certainly could. She HAS NEVER mentioned his name unless I prompt her with his picture on my phone. Maybe he was wishing her well on her big day?
He may have also made an appearance to set my mind at ease about Linda’s email yesterday, like, “No worries, I’m here, and I wanna be here. I wanna do this. You have to believe in this, Mom.”
By the way, I would like to thank all of you for your feedback and advice. As you may have seen from my replies to some of your comments, I figured out why Linda’s criticism hurt me: Lately, I’ve been using the blog as a little cave, an escape from reality that keeps me from remembering, from grieving, from mourning. This is very selfish of me, and I’m not at all proud of this cowardly behavior. So I will be brave and set aside some time now and then to grieve. I promise to keep the purpose of this blog simple and pure: helping Erik, helping others, and healing myself through these two. Love you all!
Teasing Arley
That’s so awesome Elisa! I wonder what age it is that kids start to lose the ability to see people who are passed? I hear stories all the time about kids having psychic abilities as well as the abilities to see spirits. I suppose it’s probably the cultural conditioning that ends up kind of erasing that part of our senses.
You know, Nate, I’ve wondered about that too? I don’t remember ever having imaginary friends or seeing spirits when I was little. I think you’re exactly right, that cultural conditioning burns it out of them. Or maybe their guides and deceased loves ones manifest themselves more to children at first until those kids get a handle on their new lives and bodies, sort of a human-in-training program??
Elisa, I’m so glad you’re feeling better.
But!
Your notion of having been “selfish” and “cowardly” is untrue, and unduly harsh. On the contrary! You have been generous and brave. Please be as kind to yourself as you have been to others. We all want that for you.
Actually, I love looking for my own flaws, as weird as it sounds, Pilar. It’s like a teachable moment, a golden opportunity to learn a valuable lesson to help me grow. I see failure/defeat/mistakes as steppingstones to success rather than weapons meant to sabotage my self-worth. So I relish my foibles, I really do. It’s what helps me grow, spiritually.
Awww. Nice picture, girl.
Hey Elisa,,,,
I have to say I love your blog,,,
everything happens for a reason i think ,,,,
My ma does not believe in this stuff but yet she told me about your blog,,,an ambulance driver told her,,,long story,,,,
you put in to words,,,,my feelings,,,my thoughts ,,,my pain,,,,,,,
I just wanted to say thanks
Thanks Deidre! Glad you’re in the family now!
what’s up with the way the blog is printing or posting replies?
Oh, I’m glad you mentioned that, Danielle! My daughter, Kristina, is fixing it so that the comments are organized into threads like they should be. Stay tune, technical difficulties, yadda yadda.
I agree with Pilar. Elisa, you have been so courageous and brave. Love on yourself, as you do with Michelle and Arleen. I think reality always catches up with us. I remember a friend who lost a husband telling me the grief came in waves. All of the sudden, when she least expected it. Be kind to yourself.
Sherry
Elisa,
How is coming to terms with your own grief in your own way selfish? We didn’t judge Linda so lets not judge ourselves. I think you’re holding yourself to a bit of a high standard. You do what you do to get through. Cowardly….now that’s kinda harsh. Your one of the bravest people I know. Let’s not “should” ourselves. How you handle your grief is unique to you. There is no way you “should” do it.
Craig
Nah, Craig, I don’t hold myself to high standards. I just expect to face my mistakes and use them as teachable moments for growth. Here’s how I explained it to Pilar: Actually, I love looking for my own flaws, as weird as it sounds, Pilar. It’s like a teachable moment, a golden opportunity to learn a valuable lesson to help me grow. I see failure/defeat/mistakes as steppingstones to success rather than weapons meant to sabotage my self-worth. So I relish my foibles, I really do. It’s what helps me grow, spiritually. I hope that makes any sense as all!
Niiice.
Thats very cute and Arley is very lucky to have someone play with her like that….even if they are deceased. I hope that she is at least able to carry a very lucky girl to have a ‘special uncle’ to play with, even if he happens to be ….ummm… deceased. I hope she retaines her memories of her uncle Erik, and how they played and how much he loved her…
very special =D
Thanks for sharing this.
Tom
You have such a handsome family. And you are probably the LEAST selfish person I’ve met in a very long time.
I was thinking again about the fact that I didn’t have invisible friends or see anyone from the other dimension when I was a kid and it dawned on me: why would I? If we’re little and we “see” something, we SEE something. It wouldn’t feel weird or noteworthy unless some adult shamed us for saying we saw someone. Perhaps when Arleen grows up and joins everyone else in our agreed upon view of “reality” she may not remember having seen her Uncle Erik after he crossed, because to her, there’s nothing odd about it?
Oo! I like that theory!!
I really like that pic – it shows Erik’s true fun-loving nature. I hope you are feeling better today. IMO, I don’t think you are being selfish or anything of the sort. Stay strong and go about life at your own pace. Do what you need to do to cope. Make sure Elisa is happy; in turn, your happiness will radiate out to those whom you care about.
T
Oh I’m over it for sure. Once I figured out what responsibility I had for my feelings I was back to normal. I think when you have conflicts with another person it works best for me to analyze and address the only part I have any control over: my responsibility. When I focus on how mean or unfair the other person is, it gives them all the power and turns me into victim mode. Ugh I don’t like being there!
Elisa,
I had an idea watching Ghost Hunters International. I watch those kinds of shows sometimes (Ghost Adventurers, Ghost Hunters) and wondered if you have tried using any of the equipment they use on those shows to try and communicate with Erik at your home? Maybe Erik could help you choose which tool would be most effective.
Yes, Todd, definitely. One of the earlier posts describes what I did and some of it definitely worked. I think it’s entitled something like Ghost Hunting??
I also felt that this blog has been all about bravery and sharing, rather than escape and cowardice. Funny how we all see different things.
Though I don’t remember it, when I was growing up, I had an “imaginary friend” (according to my mother) and she would hear me in another room having a conversation, but not the kind I had when I was playing, but as if someone were asking me questions she couldn’t hear and I was answering. I wish I could remember it myself.
Hey Suzy, I agree it should be about bravery and my guides, who I channeled last night, agree with you too! Here’s what they said (paraphrased):
Hey Girl!
Keep the post up as it is. As human beings, we need to learn how to find ways to love even the unloveable and send love to those in pain, perpetrators and victims. Stories like Avery’s evoke anger and disgust and hate, but we must learn how to find compassion and understanding and we must learn to send loving vibrations to both sides. Perpetrators and victims are, like us, a part of the whole. What affects them affects us too. If we send hate and scorn, it affects the whole and therefore every individual soul. If we send love and healing, we all benefit as an individual and as a collective. Since the information was channeled from Erik and Avery’s guides without censor, I feel like it was meant to be shared. We are being challenged once again and must learn from even those things which break our hearts.
I was thinking about why this experience with Arley was so comforting for me. I guess it’s because children her age are so pure. They haven’t been contaminated by any indoctrination or belief system so it’s more confirming for me. Out of the mouths of babes and all that. Still need that confirmation that this is all real, you know? I added this to the post as well.
It is such a confirmation when our children are obviously seeing things and/or people that we don’t. When my daughter Emiline was just 2 weeks old, she would look behind me and smile, and she did it a number of times. It wasn’t one of those “gas” smiles but an actual smile where you knew she was connecting with someone. I couldn’t believe it and yet I knew she was seeing special spirits who were around.