I came across this site through facebook. How do i email you for a chance to get a reading? thanks

Also I think it is interesting that I came across this blog. I was thinking about suicide a bit today and though I wouldnt do it, i was feeling very low. I have my highs and lows and just today is an emotional roller coaster. I am living in Japan and was depressed about the difficulty of me being able to move and live in Norway. Actually I am an american but I travel around a lot. So when I came to this blog, I not only felt better reading your son’s view of life and the afterlife, but it felt good reading a blog about someone who has a connection to Norway. Sorry, not good at explaining things but I just felt a lot of relief and that i should try to enjoy my life more (but I am sorry for the loss of your son).

Hi Erik and Elisa,

Just wanted to wish Erik a wonderful Birthday tomorrow!

Hugs, Kisses and Warm Fuzzies!

Rebecca
XXOO

LOL..My kids think I’m nuts naturally I’m the only girl in the house (apart from the cat) so to them I’m nuts I’ve posted Erik’s webpage on my personal FB and a few websites I go to, so hopefully some people will take a look!

Awww Maria is so special …..
Love and Light Susanxoxo

@ Steve – I’m not trying to single out gays; I chose homosexuality as a good example regarding judgmental attitudes.

You are very right on all counts, many people shield indications of homosexuality to avoid criticism or worse. Have you ever heard of the Pink Pistols? My heroes.

Why does anybody care who is gay? So what if two women hold hands, or two men do it? I hope nobody cares when I do it. Try having dinner and holding hands with a black person of the opposite gender; I’ve been down that road and it’s amazing who cares.

Point being, offering up critical disapproving behavior without understanding is a judgmental attitude that should be avoided. Many other judgmental attitudes make sense, disapproving of public drinking & intoxication, screeching car tires, sonorous public flatulence to name just three.

My Dear Anna:

I came across your first posting late last night, and it somehow deeply touched me. It wasn’t so much what you said, I think, as the way you shared so much of yourself that rang a clear soft bell in my heart. I started to reply right then and there, but before long it had become well past time to finally lay down my head, and rest.

. First, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to share so honestly. Your posting, in fact, is a perfect example of why it’s usually so good a thing to express one’s self whenever one truly has something they need say. It is a truly brave (and precious) thing to share publicly about matters of utmost importance when one is in a vulnerable state of mind. There is indeed “a personal reason for being called to respond” when one upon the journey stands at last, trembling and without defense, upon that great fault line between all that promises hope, on the one hand, and the flat oblivion of crushing disappointment, on the other, and offers up “Here I stand, can anyone out there see me? Does anyone hear me? Is there a place for me here?”

(And the answer to these great and important questions, by the way, are “Yes,” “Yes, and Yes!”)

What if the general idea that wherever we find ourselves upon the journey, is exactly the place from which we are to start anew, applies to you, as it does to me and to everybody else? What if there is no question too large, pressing, or urgent, to be answered by growing and/or deepening in our understanding of Love? What if it only seems as if we are left alone in our ordeals, with no mouth to scream, and nothing but dark visions coloring even our personal notions of Heaven? Carl Jung referred to “Christ’s most human moment” as that in which he called out from the cross, wounds tearing his skin, his ribs popping one by one from his weight nailed upon the cross, and desperately parched with thirst, “My God! My God! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?”

And in that quietly epic moment, the light of day fading in the clear desert air, the Heavens responded only with silence. No answer was given. Or was it?

(As I see it, the story of Christ is neither unique nor an artifact to be left growing dust upon the storage shelves of one or the other churches that have claimed its proprietary ownership. Rather, it is a living mystery of unparalleled power. (Erik too, and my soul mate Scott, and many others that so many of us here shall always love so dearly, have also experienced this resurrection. In a sense, that is exactly why we are here.) And it is all about Love, nothing but, and far beyond reason, immediately and always at hand. But please understand: I mention these notions sacred to me not because I’m about “Christianity” (though I have been personally touched by and thus come to love the Christ sprit), but in recognition of the crucifixions you are now undergoing day after day, in every small death and rebirth, and to offer to you, in a spirit of greatest humility, a reminder that a personal promise of resurrection awaits. As I see it there is no creed anyone must follow: an open invitation has been extended to the open gates of Heaven, excluding not one of us. And we need not wait until we’re dead to claim it, although many do.)

I have read your posting “between the lines,” Anna, and the earnest cry of your soul has touched mine. I am given a vision of you, and it is this: a soul of rare luminosity and beauty, called to walk (at least for a time) upon such a bleak landscape, horizons grown utterly dim yet still darkening.

Like a most amazing butterfly that has somehow in its gentle flight left far behind the garden it has known, and is dismayed to look down upon the ground and see, as if frozen in black and white, a muddy WWI field of battle. “How can this place possibly be my home?,”she wonders, as bullets fly by and blood is spilled upon churning Earth. “And if it is (as it appears to be), if I am of this place, then I dare not even think of how my personal Heaven, as the great second and eternal act, will appear unto me.”

And though on one level I don’t know you at all, Anna, it is a belief deep within my heart that we are all of us “in this together,” the living and the loving, the living and the dead, and that life on Earth is so challenging for us because that is exactly how we grow. It is also so that some of those who feel the furthest from Heaven are in truth honoring a sacred calling to do special work, and will be given whatever assistance needed, when needed, to accomplish what they have come here for. Still others, I believe, are particularly troubled during their time here because, for some reason, they remember Heaven too well. For such souls, connecting to this place as “Home” can present a supreme struggle.

(Yet for all of that, I am heartened by the knowledge that Jesus, too, wept.)

I feel it important to remind you that you are not failing, not ever, even when your doubt is reaching a shrill crescendo and the pain is greatest. You are doing the great work of being human. It is sometimes not fully necessary to have any idea as to why, or even What in the Hell?!, as much as it is to set one’s sights upon losing no opportunity to love. That you are doing, because your trials are expanding the room within your broken heart for the sufferings of others, and deepening your understanding of the textures of compassion. I can promise you this, and it is not really of but through me: you will help people. And the difference between that time and now, is… zilch. There is nothing you need do but stick around, and do your very best to never “take the bait” and shut yourself down. You have only one way to go, and that is forward.

As to this idea with which you have become so haunted, of being the clanking lost ghost in the dark castle of Heaven’s eternal castle, it is easy for me to see that you are describing in clear and honest terms the Hell of your present experience. It is only a dream, Anna, and I say that with full respect for the power of dreams, on every level. It is less something to fear than a question sacred to you, to be answered in the fullness of time. How will you begin to slip out of those rusty old chains, and head out of that clammy dark castle at last, to step out for a nice Chocolate milk shake (cherry on top, please) and a throat lozenge or two (!)? A time will come when you will step forth (any kind of step will do, really) into the brilliant promise of your present potential. In a sense, you are holding to yourself a divine flame to force the growth to which you are destined. It is not really torture inflicted by a wanton and heedless God, as it seems. Your mind is not your enemy; it only seems so.

You are ultimately free to do as you must and as you like, Anna, and it is no one else’s to judge. Yet in the meantime, you need not fear this great question. Exactly as it is so uniquely yours (and I mean arising from the inside, and not a teaching), so will come your “salvation.” You yourself will find the answer, are even now finding the answers. Then, you will be free to focus your considerable energies and gifts upon (among many other things) reaching out to those countless “living ghosts” shuffling about all around us, utterly lost, heart-broken, and dead of hope, resigned to merely “doing their time” here upon an Earth grown tired and cold. At times, you alone will be able to hear their cry, or “read” the unanswerable terror in their eyes, and simply give unto them the greatest and most transformative gift: that of being seen by a heart that cares, at last! In time, I know that you will see: there has always been a reason.

You need not fear that God is insane, only his people are. And again, it is all for a reason.
Maybe it is a good time for you to find something to lean upon, Anna, because there is something that has been taken from you, and it feels as if you spin. Remember what it is you loved, and still love, and call it back into your life. You will see; it will find you worthy, and is awaiting only your call. Now is an excellent time, because now is when you need some help.

And, know that you are never alone. And most certainly, neither ridiculous nor any kind of fool, despite your pain.

One last thing, on the notions of heaven so weighing you down. There is a wonderful ancient Chinese proverb to the effect that “Living life is like riding a wild horse. Thinking about living life is like riding a wild horse, on top of a wild horse.” How true is that? And it occurs to me: if thinking about living life is like trying to ride one wild horse atop another, how might one even begin to describe the burden added when one adds to this already-impossible mix thinking about life in any Heaven to come?

My sense is, your thoughts of despair turn towards this dead Heaven only when you have basically given up on seeing your needs met here on Earth. Tell you what, Anna: let’s make a deal. I won’t give up on really playing this game called life, if you won’t. I’m not saying it’s easy, just that I’m glad you are in the world.

And that is why I’m glad that you dared share.

Gratefully,

Paul Hampton

Hello Elisa,

I mention the blog often, I think some people are afraid that they might learn something they don’t want to know. I have to admit, freaked me out a bit to learn I have angels and all watching me all the time. Now I feel a little weird changing clothes…lol. I sometimes think of charging admission…..lol. But yea, I am posting about the blog out there. Don’t need the session, I am just glad to help for the greater good.

And I am glad you have Maria in your family. Sounds like she’s helped raise the kids like a 3rd parent. Never can have too many people to turn to.

-Stanley

Paul, First of all I don’t know if you’ll go back and read this past blog, but I hope you do. I didn’t want to continue this into the next days topics because I really don’t want this to be about me. I thankyou for your kindness, empathy, and the time you took to respond to a stranger so I owe you this response. First of all, nothing you have said isn’t without warrant, except that I kind of got the notion that you think I’m extremely depressed or experiencing some “dark night of the soul”. I’ve never been diagnosed but I believe I have always had a mild case of dyspraxia for most of my life. As a result I’ve had to think more things through than most people who have better heuristic abilities. This has carried over into most areas of my life including my spiritual world. So, I’m just being me trying to make a positive contribution to this blog because I do over-think some things but that’s how I survive. Yet, because of all the “negatives” I can and do experience –I do see the positives. Thanyou for caring, Paul

Awww shucks that would be awesome. I am diligently working towards my goal as we speak. I plan on moving to Tokyo by next year in order to get some marketing/publishing skills and learn Norwegian so hopefully by 2013 I will be able to work in Norway.