Channeling Erik

October6th

42 Comments

Happy Homecoming, Erik

Posted in: Channeling, Death, Death of a Child, Grief, Grieving, Love, Post traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, Suicide, Violent deaths

October 6th. Two years ago. Lives ripped apart forever. This day is hard for me. The memories. Even driving down Echo Lane this morning brought back that time when we were speeding home in response to Maria’s phone call, everyone screaming at the tops of their lungs. Even opening the front door to water my plants today reminded me how frantically I tried to open it so I could run upstairs to check on my baby, to hopefully save his life. My legs like rubber, tears streaming down my face, wails of despair echoing in that otherwise still early afternoon.

Today, if you were to look at me, you’d see a woman with a calm face of stone. But in truth, there’s another woman inside screaming for salvation. Screaming for an escape. Today will be a day when I bury myself where I’ve buried my heart.

To Erik: I love you more than life itself. That’s all I have the strength to write. Here’s your favorite song, Sweetie.

As you listen to this song, imagine Erik jamming along with a big grin on his face.

Erik Rune Medhus

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  • AmyPal

    I can’t even express how this makes me feel. No glory in the afterlife or other spiritual future can possibly take away the pain or mask the visual impact of what happened on that day. I hope–and know, too–that this day (and all October 6th to come) will somehow mark a transformation for you and your family’s relationship with Erik, as his caring and compassionate nature seeks new and creative ways to ease your pain.

    All of my heart is with you and your family today.

  • Denise

    I felt your emotions the moment I clicked on the site name. I cannot imagine surviving as you have. I have to hold fast to my belief that everything happens because we chose it for a specific reason, otherwise it makes no sense.
    My heartfelt love and compassion embrace you today and every day.

  • JoAnn

    lots of love to you today Elisa,,,this is also the date that my grandfather crossed over. my father was only 5 yrs old when it happened so I never did get to meet him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1209732421 Iola Regnier Gomez

    Love and compassion to you, sweet Elisa. I am with you today. always.

  • Michael

    Much love and light to you Elisa as you gather the strength to make it through this difficult day.

  • M and M

    The beautiful thing about love is that one is never alone in the good times or in the bad times. While you cannot physically see or feel us, hopefully you can sense all the loving hands reaching out to you, Elisa, and your family. You are not alone in your grief. I have been with you for more than a year and celebrated along side of you as you grow stronger in your channeling abilities. I am looking forward to the day when the veil disappears and the channel becomes clear, for all of us. Until then, we keep marching along, appreciating the little things, because that is where the magic is. No matter where your mind takes you, always ground yourself back in the now as that is where the truth is, where creation happens. Sending you waves of love, you are never alone.

    • http://www.channelingerik.com Elisa Medhus, MD

      Thank you everyone.

  • Anonymous

    Elisa, I’m sorry for the pain you feel on this aniversary, but know that I’m sending you love and spiritual healing. These two years have shown how to turn something tragic into something of value to this world through this blog. You continue to inspire me and many others through your one step in front of another approach of walking through the darkness, toward the light.

    A special warm hug,

    GeorgeN

  • Steve

    Hi Elisa,

    Just wanted you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you today.

    Steve

  • Anonymous

    {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}

  • Tiffany

    My thoughts are with you today (well, and everyday for that matter). My little guy left us 7 years ago, on his birthday on October 2nd. This was the first year we were able to celebrate his birthday joyously. We have a little bear that was meant for Penn, and my kids now call it Penn bear. Sinec they never knew their brother, it is the only physical link they have to him. So we took it with us for ice cream that day. Penn Bear sat at the table with us. It was lovely.

    • http://www.channelingerik.com Elisa Medhus, MD

      {{{{{HUGS}}}}

  • Amiejmie999

    Love and wishes with you Elisa

  • amy cavanaugh

    The worst thing you can say to someone like you on a day like day is
    “I know how you feel.” The death of a loved one is so intensely personal, especially when it is premature and your child. That said, we love you Elisa for being so candid about your experience. It has helped all of us deal with our mortality and work through the grief process intimately and not out of the grief pamphlet the social worker hands you. A few months ago I got a letter from Hospice telling me how I felt. I noticed there was a code on the bottom that said “6″. Obviosuly this was a form letter mailed to all families at the 6 month point. What was worse it was addressed to Keith. I wrote back a harsh letter telling them how dare you tell me how I feel and cause me to worry about the grade I was going to get in grief. So with that said, I do not know how you feel, but I love you!!!!

    • http://www.channelingerik.com Elisa Medhus, MD

      Love you too, Amy.

    • anna

      I don’t believe the worst thing you can say to somebody is “I know how you feel” because the only reason someone would pour their heart out about some personal human tragedy is because they believe that something about that person or group of people in fact understands that “pain” and we need to support each other through that experience. I think the worse somebody could say is: nothing, and often times that’s what they do because they are afraid of the type of reaction that you have. I’ve read through so many of these blogs and I can’t imagine that anybody here doesn’t understand that kind of pain. Actually, believing that no one understands your pain isolates you from the people you need the most in your life right now. So to Elisa, I do feel your pain eventhough my own situation is not the same and I hope that you sharing that pain with all of us on this blog will continue to help us not feel so alone in our own pain.

      • http://www.channelingerik.com Elisa Medhus, MD

        Well, I supposed the very worst thing somebody can say is, “Wow, sucks for you.” That’s Erik making this comment, by the way. Sigh. That boy!

      • Denise

        natural born smart ass….my kind of guy!

  • Karen Gros

    I just came across your blog. My 18-yr-old son committed suicide 17 days ago. Since then, I’ve felt as though he’s speaking through me. I started writing my thoughts on facebook (search pages for Garrett Velasquez). I’ve been nailed to the cross by some that disagree with my method of grieving. But I felt as though I needed to document my feelings. Since Garrett’s death, I’ve felt him speaking to me and through me. This led me to a search today that led me here. I’m looking forward to sharing my journey with you.

    • http://www.channelingerik.com Elisa Medhus, MD

      Oh, Sweetie, how I feel for you. But it looks like you’re a gifted channel, so that’s a good thing. Garrett isn’t really gone. He’s only left his body. He’s with you and perhaps this was even his destiny, just like it was for Erik. Maybe you’re supposed to give Garrett a platform through which to speak. XOXO

    • Anonymous

      Karen welcome.
      You were guided here for a reason. My heart aches for you. I lost my 19 year old 8 months ago.
      Elisa, Erik and the CE family have helped me heal in ways I never would have imagined. Our loved ones live on in spirit.

    • Patrick

      Karen:

      A kind welcome I wish to extend and we all hope you return often. I have an 18 year old myself, so I can begin to imagine your point-of-view from its far and distant edges. I wonder how many of the “disagreers” hammering you to the crucufix of their disagreement have suffered a loss as you have? I will venture to say zero.

      There is no “method” of grieving: you owe explanations to NOBODY. By their disapproval, these people are sending you very valuable information. Remember all that happens.

      Please, please tell us of your experiences with Garrett, this will be a most generous gift. Let me warn you, Erik and Garrett are going to put you on the top of the prank list; be prepared! Do you like gaseous intestinal emissions smells? Do you like your e-mail font changed to Greek? How about marijuana smells inside the car next to police headquarters? I hope you like the sound of car alarms.

      Come back soon! Hugs and hugs, Patrick

      • http://www.channelingerik.com Elisa Medhus, MD

        I bet Garrett and Erik are already scheming. He still pranks with Antal. Got another airsoft BB a couple of days ago–two in about a week. It’s a sweet and boyish way to say, “‘sup?’

      • M and M

        Oh Patrick, I just have to say I laughed so hard at your post- the full on, people looking at you like you are nuts kind of laugh. “Gaseous intestinal emissions smells” started it. Thank you for the release, I needed that.

    • amy cavanaugh

      Like our friend Paul Crockett says “Death is an imposter” when Keith died I immediately sought out communications with the afterlife-I got kicked out of Widow class for it, but havent looked back. This is a magical place, it will not relieve the pain but it will make you feel less isolated.

  • Anonymous

    There are no words to describe the effects of these anniversaries on those of us left behind. Those of us on the young widows board often wonder when we will stop counting in “toddler months”. I am 22 mo out myself and I know I will never be the same. My love and thoughts go out to you and your family today. (((Elisa)))

    • amy cavanaugh

      no kidding on that one-everytime I think that I have made some headway something comes up and I experience a set back. Where is the young widows board?

      • Anonymous

        http://www.ywbb.org
        You will find lots of people there who understand. I met many there I now call my dear friends. Good luck dear.

    • http://www.channelingerik.com Elisa Medhus, MD

      {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

  • Irina

    I am thinking of you today Elisa!Love to you an your family!

  • Anonymous

    Dear Elisa,
    You are loved more than you know. I send you my love, light, strength and courage on this most difficult day.

  • Pamie0424

    After having been through possibly the worst experience a parent can have, you carry on with strength and grace providing hope, light and comfort to so many. On this day, especially, know that love and light are being sent your way by so many of us who love you and stand together with you to do whatever we can to help make this world a better place.

    • http://www.channelingerik.com Elisa Medhus, MD

      I love all of you too.

  • Andy B

    Healing hugs to you Elisa…remember we’re all spiritual beings trying to have a human experience…

  • Kerrie Aus

    Dear Elisa, Oh how I feel for you. From one mother to another that has been through similar pain I am sending you love.All I can say is send those memories away and bring in the good ones.Erik was and is much more than the memories of that day.Enveloping you in a giant hug.Love and light always and may Erik inundate you with ADC’s and confirmation of his ever loving presence.xx

  • Simonadkins2

    Hello ELISA,my heart goes out to you today and I don’t know what to say because nothing can be said of such a tragic loss,I know I’ve said it before about the spiritualist medium Gordon Smith that his book ‘the unbelievable truth’ would be a fantastic read for you,also in 2003 the BBC made a very serious documentary on him called ‘talking to the dead’ the BBC only makes serious documentarys, but there are portions of the film that maybe very relevant to you and increase your faith even more,the reading to the mother who lost her son is wonderful as is the bit when Gordon visits America and they try to trick him, my love and my spiritual connections are with you. Simon

    • http://www.channelingerik.com Elisa Medhus, MD

      I love Gordon! If he comes back here, you and I will have to go together!!

  • Nancy

    My thoughts and prayers are with you today Elisa.

  • Stacey

    Elisa, may the pain from your grief you feel in your heart on this day get lighter with each passing year.

  • Tracy Lamont

    Haven’t checked in for a few days, however, I was thinking of Clan Medhus on this day. Hope you all got through it relatively unscathed. My love and thoughts were with you all. You all have a place in my heart xXx

  • Anonymous

    Elisa and family, I’m many days late in reading this and am sending you a late but very bigggg hug.. You are all amazing, you are all gifts to so many of us as is Erik, not many of us will ever know what you feel or experienced but God specially picked you for the task, not as a punishment, as testimony of how spiritually evolved you are and because he knew you would take the most unbearable tragedy imaginable and use it to spread love, hope and understanding. Big love and prayers to heal your aching heart xxxxx

    • http://www.channelingerik.com Elisa Medhus, MD

      Ah, your words buoy my spirits. Of course, I’m on this path to learn as well. In fact, truth be told, many of the CE blog members are more evolved than me. That’s good, because I learn something precious from you guys every single day.

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