For months now, I’ve longed for a more tangible presence from Erik. Nothing quite measures up to the intensity of a mother’s longing to hold her child in her arms, to kiss his cheek, to caress his face. Through our psychic medium, Kim O’Neill, Erik had mentioned that he has been practicing manipulating his energy so that he could eventually appear in a form we could see. To facilitate this, he asked us to talk with him, engage him, and channel him whenever possible. These, he says, give him the opportunity to practice extending his energy. He describes this as being similar to “puffing out my chest like I used to do when I was a little kid so I could look bigger.”

For the last week or so, I’ve been following his suggestion with keen devotion. At first, I felt a little silly talking out loud, engaging in idle banter to an empty space. I had to sequester myself in areas where I could be alone, for fear that my family, already concerned about my grief, would think I had finally tipped over the cliff into an abyss of insanity. Eventually, I conversed with Erik silently. The first few weeks, it felt like I was responding to my own dialogue, but with practice, I could hear Erik’s voice in my head as he answered my questions and reacted to my remarks. I could also see his image in my mind. I could feel his energy, his mood, his personality. The dark and somber mask that he wore the last few years of his life had been shed revealing the happy, mischievous boy I remember so well and miss so much.

The first physical visit occurred night before last. I had been talking with him all evening, and as I lied down to sleep, I could see a form at the foot of my bed on the left side. I felt it was Erik; his presence was so palpable. When I directed my gaze toward him, I could see his upper body. It was a translucent, shimmering blue with gold around the fringes. His arms were crossed, as was so typical of him, and he wore a broad grin that seemed to say, “See, I told you I could do it.” I could feel his pride so strongly. After 15 seconds or so, his form began to drift up and to the right and slowly dissolved. The last thing I saw before he was completely gone was that wonderful smile.

The next morning, I was sitting in my car in the garage waiting for Lukas and Annika so that I could take them both to school. I began talking to Erik again. I told him I loved him. I asked him what he’d been up to lately. I thanked him for the visit, and in general, engaged in trivial chit chat. I clearly felt his energy in the front passenger seat beside me.

When Annika passed in front of the car, she had a strange expression on her face. Although she usually sits in the front seat, for some reason, she paused at the front passenger window, then entered the rear passenger door to sit in the back seat. That night, she told me she saw Erik sitting in the front seat. It alarmed her. Things like that tend to freak her out as of course they would to most 15 year-old girls. When I told her that I had sensed his presence there at exactly the same time, her eyes widened to the size of cup saucers. I wonder how well she slept last night?

Hopefully, this is the beginning, not the end. Hopefully, it is the beginning of an exciting and enlightening journey traveled by a healing family with the help of a wonderful spirit.

Erik on a Rollercoaster