Channeling Erik

May10th

44 Comments

Erik’s Advice to Those Who Are Stuck

Posted in: After Death Communication, Afterlife, Channeling, Communication from the dead, Human Experience, Jamie Butler, Life After Death, Michael Newton, Psychic medium, Spiritual enlightenment, Struggles, Suffering

A lot of blog members were quite hurt by Erik’s pointing out the selfish side to grief. Here’s an example from John Joseph:

Hey this one’s for Erik:

Spirit or not, you’re being a dick telling people they’re “selfish” when they miss someone they love more than you will ever imagine, no matter how many fucking realms of light you move in.

It DOES NOT HELP to try to guilt people trapped on earth out of their FEELINGS. If you’re really spiritual and loving, you’d know that FEELINGS don’t have a a moral compass attached, they just ARE.

You can actually know someone is fine and still MISS them. Get a clue about real feeling beings with feelings, loves and histories. And don’t give me that new age clap trap that is. just. so. hollow.

My reply to John:

I think Erik meant to create just this kind of reaction. One facet of it for SOME is selfish, but not for all. He made that clear (I think), but you’re right, grief is a touchy subject, very personal and raw. Remember, Erik is Erik. I’m not sure if he meant to say these things for some greater purpose or if he just did so because he’s just a young boy, but it is what it is. Sorry if he hurt your feelings.

I suppose I should have added that lashing back at Erik doesn’t help. It’s like fighting fire with fire. Erik is just a young boy without a body. He’s not been in the afterlife very long, so we can’t expect him to behave like some highly enlightened celestial being. Did he mess up with his crass wording, or did he mean to incite this reaction to get us to think? I don’t know. I wish I did. If he did mess up, cut him some slack. After all, the earthly plane doesn’t hold a monopoly on mistakes.

The entire grief experience is complex. Like Candis says, it does have a mind of its own. That’s the part of it we can’t expect to control, nor would we want to. I guess all we can look at is that part that we can at least try to control, and that is to consider the perspective of the loved one we have lost. After all, it must hurt our loved ones so much to feel our grief day in and day out, especially in cases like Erik’s where they know they’re responsible for that grief. We must grieve, but we need to remember to temper that by sending them thoughts of love. Take a look at Love. We could easily say we seek it because of our own selfish needs, but it’s much more complex than that. Our relationship with grief and love are quite intricate, multi-tiered and personal.

Channeling Transcript

Me: What about advice to those who feel confused and stuck? So many people say they feel like they’re in an elevator sort of stuck between floors. They don’t know what direction to take, like their paralyzed in life.

Erik: You mean how to move forward on evolving, or—

Me: I don’t know. They just feel stuck, like they’re going nowhere.

Erik (teasing): Well, that’s just the happy-go-lucky energy on earth. It really has a way of putting you in a slow-moving whirlpool, so that you just do the same damn thing again and again and again. Usually, the best thing is for them to get out of their environment whether it’s to get away from their job, whether it’s to get away from their house, whether it’s to move away from family—just get out of the environment where those ruts are. That’s usually what’s holding you in a whirlpool pattern. Of course everyone has their own unique circumstance and path and stuff, but a lot of times, the frustration people have over that stuck feeling is cuz they’re about to enter a new chapter in their life.

Me: Ah, okay.

Erik: And if they’re totally afraid to move, tell them to go take two weeks out of their environment. Go do Outward Bound. Go do something that’s completely out of your structure, out of your thoughts. Do something totally out of character or outside your comfort zone. Like if you’re working in a safe little cubicle, go to Africa and help build irrigation systems, whatever. You know what I’m saying. That right there—going to the opposite extreme—that’ll wake ‘em up.

Me: Yeah, so many of us have blinders on, and that narrows our focus so much that we don’t even see those opportunities at our feet that propel us forward in our evolution.

Erik: Yes, and the best medicine is sometimes to get out of your own shit to really see what things look like.

Me: Yeah, sure. And also, what about—I was just thinking about this as you were talking—what about past life regression to the between lives part so they can find out what spiritual blueprint they made for themselves. They can regress to that point and think, “Wow, THAT’S what I’m here to do!” Maybe they can find out what contracts they agreed to or—

Erik: If they’re strong enough where they really wanna research, past life regression is the best.

Me: Okay.

Erik: Because it’s not like you’re going to some doctor and the doctor is saying, “Here’s the answer. This is what you need to do.” When you do hypnotherapy, when you regress, the information is on your own shoulders. You discover it for yourself. You’re finding it; you’re getting it, so you own it for yourself.

Me: Yeah, that’s true. You assimilate information the best when you are the one who discovers it. So why do we forget our past live and our between lives period? I think we’ve talked about this before, but—

Erik: Well, if you remembered them, you wouldn’t be who you are. That amnesia is a safety net for us to experience a newness in life. If not, everything would be old hat.

Me: Okay, that makes sense.

Jamie: He kind of puts it into a vision of when you’re at one job, and you’ve done it for 25 years and you’re over it and you want to do something new; you go to a completely new job that relies on different tasks, different memory, different information, different effort, different everything.

Erik: You want that clean-cut cuz you wanted to be complete and finished with that old job. You don’t want to drag parts of it into the new one. If our amnesia doesn’t kick in, and we’re continuously carrying over the old job, pretty soon, we’re going to find there’s not a new job to do.

Me: Interesting.

Erik: Personally, I’d like it if we came in with SOME memory.

Me: Ah, I guess some people probably do, huh?

Erik: More now than ever.

Me: So, why do you think that would be good, Erik?

Erik: Well, just that little piece of information, that would make us feel so secure, there’d be less fear in the world, knowing that we came from somewhere else and that the cycle of life is not about death.

Me: Yeah.

Jamie: “The cycle of life is not about death.” I like that. I like that a lot.

Me: Yeah, just knowing that life on the earthly plane always has a happy ending no matter what you go through, everything ends up just fine. One of the perks of being an eternal soul. People really need to have something to look forward to, you know?

Erik: Yes, they do.

Me: But I guess some fear is important, because it gives us that duality tool.

Erik: Only if the fear doesn’t paralyze someone. Unfortunately, that’s often the fucking case. What’s the point of life there on earth if fear is like this massive stun gun that paralyzes you so you don’t move forward?

Me: True. Too true.

 

 

 

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  • Su

    The advice on being stuck was just what I needed today. Thank you x

  • iola

    John Joseph,
    Erik is correct from a certain perspective…grief is selfish..its normal and needed, but the grief you feel after someone you love passes is because you are now going to go on without them..mainly. Some is for the life that person didnt get to live, but some is for yourself. Why do you rant at Erik when you dislike his answers? Get your big boy pants on and try to look at it from multiple sides. Its complex, but try to give it a shot ok?
    We seem to be quick to get angry at the messenger here…alot lately…whats up with that?
    Why should Elisa feel she needs to defend what he says that rubs your ass the wrong way? Try to look at it from where he is, not from your own space..and stop yelling at Erik when you dont like his truth…..damn bunch of kiddos!
    Sorry, I just dont get why we congregate here, then bitch when we dont understand fully the message. maybe we all need a Martguerita?????

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Sing it sister! BTW, it’s hard to capture tone in text, so you guys can’t possibly know Erik’s tone when he said all this. It wasn’t condescending and sarcastic. It was loving.

  • nikki

    Of course this is only an opinion, so be nice:)
    I have been all over the place in the grieving process. We all have our own story and each situation sets itself up for a different method/cycle of grieving. But…I think I can relate to what Erik is saying, now if I can put it into words.
    It seems the first couple/several months after we lose someone is a “transition” period for both those left behind and the spirit. My Eric in particular seemed confused and maybe even a little insensitive at first. He sent confusing messages via Jason/Robert and even a couple of dreams that family members had were somewhat abrasive. Eric eventually acknowledged that he was confused at the time and in his defense I am sure I/we were sending mixed messages as well.
    I went from “oh poor baby, I love you, please know I only want you happy”, to yelling “F*ck You, Eric” while sitting in the car watching my daughter walk up to school with the heaviness of grief. If the spirits feel everything well, I guess they have cycles of good and bad too. I do not regret any of that, I needed to be mad damn-it. We had no warning, there were no signs, I didn’t get a goodbye hug or one last chance to say I love you.
    But, now three months later, I am mostly over the “poor me” and I want him to know, I kinda understand. I want him to be happy and mostly I hope he is with us in spirit until I get that hug.
    What I think Erik was trying to say is, we need to go thru the cycles (there is no time frame for this) but we also need to evolve. I am forever amazed at the number of people that claim to have “faith” and believe in an afterlife, but walk around wallowing in self pity and grief for years and years. Sure we miss them, sure I want Eric to physically be at every holiday, family event, game night and vacation. But life isnt like that. We can remember them and send them love every time we miss them. Tears and sadness are part of the process. To be honest I would be really disappointed if No one cried when i left this world. But as some point I hope they are happy for me and realize I am still with them in spirit. We don’t really “die” we just leave our body.

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Exactly. It’s all about balance. Erik seemed to be talking about one subset of people who grieve to feel pampered. Reread the entry and see if you get that too. He said SOME people, I think. (But no time to check it again as I’m headed out the door.) Some people grieve only in a self-pity way, ignoring their loved ones both living and dead. That’s just not good for everyone if taken to an extreme, hence the divorces, the neglected children, etc. when a child in the family dies.

  • Yvonne

    All of this is just underscoring for me is that Erik is someone who did not have too much life experience on earth, so his perspective is, as you say, as that of a kid. On the other hand, he has a Spirit’s eye view of the otherworld and its inhabitants. He also said that he recalls all of his lives.
    This is what is most confusing to me about humans in that world. THEY KNOW STUFF. They even know the future but can’t tell us what to do because of the free will thing. BUT THEY DON’T KNOW STUFF. See what I mean? This makes it difficult at this end to separate out what is correct and True, and what is just opinion.
    I don’t know, Elisa. It could get really tricky if we take these words as the gospel, and we shouldn’t. On the other hand, I myself have been burned by Spirits who say things that aren’t true or incorrect, even misleading. This is why I always, ALWAYS confirm with my Higher Self, and with Love. But even then, sometimes the fear robs us of confidence in what we are hearing and seeing…the bible says “test the spirits” – but how?

  • M and M

    Elisa, I would just like to say kudos to you for posting ALL of what Erik says. Even when you know an issue will be a charged one. There are no wasted experiences.

    I respect everyone’s opinion about the last post and find the different perspectives a reminder that our world is filled with wonderful diversity. The way I take what Erik says is to pull out the parts that stick with me, good or bad, and leave the rest as those parts are for someone else. Erik has said many times that he is not to be elevated to the status of supreme being, that he is learning just like the rest of us only in a different environment. He has also said that we need to think for ourselves. I love the different reactions to what he says because it reminds me that there really is no one way of looking at something. Everyone is right. There are always an infinite number of perspectives, and even someone on the other side who is trying so hard to help us cannot be the one person to save the planet. We need each other and we need our differences. It is so much better to go through an experience to learn something than to intellectually talk about it to learn.

    And thank you for the information on getting unstuck. That is exactly what I needed! Being stuck seems to be such a common issue these days, which makes sense with what people keep saying about all the change in energy going on. Like they say, you can’t solve a problem from the mindset that created it, so it make sense that you can’t move into the new by hanging on to the space of the old.

  • Jane

    I like the advice about stuckness. Always reminds me of the movie Pushing Tin, which is not the best movie, but in many ways is about needing to get out of a rut. They do things like jump in icy streams and lay underneath a plane taking off. Also in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Phaedrus tells his students “You’re getting stuck b/c you’re trying to write about, say, an entire building. You’re getting overwhelmed. Start by writing about one brick in one wall of the building.”

    I felt angry about the grief statement and the reference to this life as a “school play” when in fact it is not pretend for us. My husband was kind enough to channel a bit and Erik was kind enough to come hang out. Obviously we are not Elisa and Jamie so this is for whatever it’s worth, take it or leave it and no hard feelings at all, only meant to help.
    As far as the school play thing, Erik said it helps some people to think of things in that light. And he also said “Analogies are not my strong suit” LOL!
    He said the Spirit world feels our suffering with us “in the most sensitive way you can imagine.”
    As far as grief he said “People should feel free to feel it and go through it. Be free with it but be free of it [as well.]” By be free of it he meant (b/c i asked what he meant by that) “Don’t lean on it or reach for it. Reach for love.” and “Be happy at them.” (the loved on who has transitioned.)

    There was more on how suffering was never part of the plan and that humans evolved it b/c it was “the easiest first ways of communication… easiest reaction to have and easiest to inflict…Love is more abundant but if the human brain is feeling fearful or anxious it’s the easiest to reach for. Collective consciousness was still so new, it’s just the way you went. …The human race will clearly evolve past needing it. There are so many other ways to learn and grow. It’s fast food, it’s like choosing to use Fossil fuel when you could use Solar…Humans are capable of more but the idea is not that prevalent.” -Anyway as you can see it is a little murky (b/c i take notes, need to get a recorder) and I’m sure at some point Erik and Jamie and Elisa can if they like address it and communicate it. It’s just interesting food for thought so i thought i’d share. I love how helpful and what a good friend Erik is. Oh he also said “it’s ALL real, it’s not separate” meaning the spirit world and our world. So they are affected by us down here, our reality. So what we do and go through really is important.

  • Elizabeth Schrader

    When Erik talked about how spirits can feel our grief it made me feel more than a tad selfish. I went through a very hard three year grieving process when I lost my mother. She was a wonderful person and my best friend. It took me three years to not cry every time I talked about her. Sorry Mom. I did also send my love to her but my grief was incredibly deep and I’m sure she was subject to that feeling much more than my love for her at first. I kept the idea of lower vibrations from sadness in mind when I recently put my little cat to sleep – I don’t want to send her my sadness, only the love I’ve always had for her. But if this were my sister or husband I don’t know if I could focus myself enough to keep my grief at bay. That’s not to say my little cat deserves less – she was my shadow for 17 years and I miss her everyday but I try to send her loving thoughts and not too many tears. I think knowing this information and reading this blog has made me look at life and death in a different way. And reminded me to keep on smiling because the world needs our joy.

    Love and light to all!

  • Renuka Alimchandani

    Hi Elisa…..This is the first time I am posting a comment.Had to.
    I definitely think grief is selfish….when you kno your grief is causing pain to the one you are grieving for and stiil continue doing so…..How come it is not selfish???when you know your loved one you grieve for wants you to be happy…is it not selfish
    if you continue dragging the weight just coz you dont have the resilience to come out of it ???

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      I guess you’re right Renuka. It’s like we have to be able to lick our wounds and feel comfort, but it seems like when we tend to our own needs, we’re dubbed selfish. But that tend to fly in the face of our being divine! Why shouldn’t we take care of ourselves–divine beings that we are. But I think it needs to be tempered with love to our deceased. If I’m a mom who wallows in grief, neglecting all the needs of my other kids and my husband, then that’s when the selfishness takes on a negative quality. But if I try my best to be there for my other loved ones and tend to their needs (living or dead) the best way I can, then it becomes a more benevolent selfishness. So like Ayn Rand writes in The Art of Selfishness, there is a benevolent form of selfishness, one that we use to take care of ourselves. If we don’t do that, we can’t take care of anyone else.

  • iola

    Erik is VERY loving and sweet. I am sorry if I was ranting earlier. I know I have gotten some responses from Andy that I did not understand..and I got angry about it..then I calmed down and tried to see it as he does…helps to look from another view. Love to you all, today. :-D

  • elizabeth Schrader

    After reading several other posts and rereading Erik’s info on grief I feel a bit better about my long transition after my mothers death. You still have to put one foot in front of the other every day and there are other people that need you too, ie sister, husband, father and friends. And Elisa funny you should mention Ayn Rand’s book – it’s actually titled “The Virtue of Selfishness” and my cat’s pulled it off the book shelf this morning and it’s sitting on the floor of my office – funny that’s the book they reached for:)

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      That’s right! The Virtue of Selfishness! I know I got it wrong! What a great book, though. You’re cat has great taste!

  • steph

    For anyone that was hurt or offended by Erik’s thoughts on grief, please take a moment to consider that he most likely wasn’t trying to hurt anyone or “slam” anyone. I think what he was trying to point out is that our grief over a lost one is somewhat about US, not necessarily for or about the one who passed over. It’s about US missing them, about US wanting them, US not wanting to go on without them. They have moved back home and are happier than ever so our grief is actually selfish in the respect that is more about us than anything. This does not mean we are bad, ignorant or cruel people, and I don’t think that is what he meant to suggest. Personally I interpreted it like, we are so sad when we lose someone and we can be overcome with grief, which is sad for us, for our loved ones still here and for those who have also passed – we are subjecting ourselves to the sadness and sometimes wallowing in it when we could keep a perspective on it and perhaps realize they are not gone, we still have things to accomplish and this is all part of our souls growth and journey and why make ourselves miserable indefinitely (that which I am GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY) I also think sometimes we think (in a subconscious way) the sadder we are the more our loved one will know/ or that will express how much we in fact loved them – but that just makes everyone sad. I think he just wanted us to possibly open our eyes to why we do experience or feel grief and what does that really mean (with all of our new insight of course). I do not think for one second he was trying to belittle or put anyone down for their feelings – you have to look at all of his fruits (words and intentions) not just one and he is a good apple and truly wants to help people so I don’t think this was anything other than that (with his bold, no-nonsense, funny delivery that we all love the rest of the time). It’s just a sensitive subject for many of us and sometimes words can be taken wrongly or sting when we need to maybe work on something we are not ready to yet or face a new way of looking at something that is a very different concept for us.

    Secondly, this session is very good for me right now. I am SO stuck. Just wish I had someone to tell me personally what exactly I need to do, step by step. I guess I know inside to some degree and that is probably where all the conflict starts to come in to play :) As always thank you for sharing with us and exposing us to these ideas and insights!

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      God, Steph, I couldn’t have said it better myself! Thank you for helping me find my voice.

  • http://www.fearlessendeavors.com Nate

    Been awhile since I commented here :)

    Yeah, on the grieving, I think that there can be attachment. So, it’s not necessarily about shutting out the grieving or ignoring it or sucking it up and ‘getting over it’….it’s more about noticing it and accepting it and also paying attention to any patterns that form. Sometimes it’s hard to be honest with ourselves and realize that some of our habitual patterns and cocoons are actually comforting even when on the outside we may be saying that we want to get past them. Erik’s comments, although stated in a way that may have been taken the wrong way by some, really seems to me like the pure wisdom of prajna…cutting through the bs to see reality as it really is, away from all the stories.

    On stuckness….

    I’ve been dealing with stuckness (most of it tied to work) for what seems like 10+ years. Part of me feels like I’m not doing what I’m meant to be doing, yet another part of me is learning to meet myself where I’m at…to be a little bit lighter on myself and not so hard on myself. It’s certainly tough and I haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m not giving up.

  • Nina

    Whoah! What a backlash! Erik definitely speaks his mind but I can look past his words to see what he’s truly trying to say. His opinions and straight forwardness doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve lost five people in the last 3 years who were very dear to me but I dunno, I just don’t find what he says to be hurtful. I get where people are coming from though.

  • Nancy Antia

    Hello Elisa,
    I know Erik always tells the truth and that’s it. When people can’t stand the truth, then they should start looking inside their hearts and minds and see what’s wrong. Erik said somebody who lost his life lost everything and everybody around,particularly his or her loved ones. On top of that, he or she has to cope with the tremendous burden of the grief of the loved ones down here. Some DPs can communicate but others can’t. Can you imagine the pain and sorrow they must feel when they’re in spirit and they can’t come and say something like: Please, don’t cry. I’m fine.
    Every coin has two sides, does it not? Let’s be fair with Erik. As I said, I believe he’s only telling the truth and I respect him for that.

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Plus, what about Erik’s needs and those of his friends there in the afterlife? Are we only to consider ours? Are we to embrace those words that make US feel good and lash out on those meant to make the deceased feel better? I feel like some are acting like fair weather friends here.

  • Jane

    Well-said Steph!

  • michelle c

    Elisa It is hard to relay the spoken word over this medium …reading words is a lot different from ‘hearing’ the words…. the tone and inflection in the voice makes all the difference hence Eriks words when written may sound different causing misunderstanding of the full meaning of his words and his intent…..
    Sorry again for not posting more often am still recovering from illness .
    Much love sent to all the Erik family xx

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      I hope you’re feeling better, Michelle C.! Sending love!

  • JoAnn

    i like both the advices and also the advice on over /under weight and being a sissy.all of the advice is sound and Erik is not meaning every single person he says some people and i think when he gives us the advice he is pointing out that the advice is For the people that are not handling a situation as best for them. Advice generally is meant to be for the ones of us that are having a harder time than others may be having and he is trying to point out what can help them. i mean i don’t know if i am making any sense but when people are dealing with things and their way seems to be working for them then they don’t generally need advice,it is the people that are having a hard time dealing and maybe the way they are looking at it or how they have learned to deal with a certain issue isn’t working for them ,so people that see that and care about that person try to give them advice so they have a different way that might work for them.

  • JoAnn

    i wanted to ask if everyone could help me i have been having a really hard time this week and have been feeling so defeated and sad,,,

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Sending you love Joann. Call me if you need to talk.

  • renuka Alimchandani

    H Elisa….I am so sorry.It was not at all meant to be projected to yo atleast.I know what a beautiful and strong person you ve been!!!!!!……I was just hurt at comments being lashed out at Erik….I know how loving and caring he is…..He s made up my days by just being there with me so had to explain what i thought he must be trying to project.With due respects to all those who ve suffered the loss,why can we just be acceptingand accomodating of different perspectives we have.why get rude and hurting????
    Love to all.

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      I agree. There’s a way to say things with compassion, always. But first, we must all look at our interpretation of words and our prejudiced definitions of them. Selfish to one person may mean quite a different thing to another.

  • guitarlinda

    re:John Joseph…I don’t condone his words but think he is suffering and that his expectations of being comforted by reading the blog were shattered and perhaps it seemed to him like he personally was being diminished or attacked. I think we should be gentle with him as well as others who visit CE.

  • Nancy Antia

    Addendum:
    Highly reliable mediums keep telling us that when grieving is too deep, it prevents our beloved DPs from reaching us. When we learn this, and send them love in any possible way that suits us and them (we know them well),no matter if it’s not in its purest expression, our natural and acquired selfishness melts down. The result is there’s only love here and up there. The bridge is made of love. For all this, remember that genuine love tolerates imperfection.You’re not asked to not feel bitterness, desperation, self centered thoughts, guilt,loneliness, and a large variety of the so called negative feelings. Be true to yourself and find the love that’s in your heart.It’s all they need from us.

  • http://rockymountainghostlywriter.blogspot.com Betty

    I thought you might want to read a couple chapters of Same Moon, Same Sky and see what Elisa and I and most probably Erik were up to. Since anyone who is a blog member of channelingerik already knows Erik’s colorful language, the vocabulary of our fictional Erik will not shock you.

    The eBooks on Amazon KINDLE and Barnes and Noble NOOK are correctly formatted and look great. Unfortunately those formats can’t be copied and pasted, so these first 2 chapters are copied from the manuscript on my computer. Sometimes the formatting gets messed up when I paste it. Erik loves those words: “messed up” so if the formatting looks terrible HERE, I’ll blame it on him. If you want to see more information click on the thumbnail cover Elisa has linked at the right of this page.

    Elisa and thought we were finished when what is now called PART ONE was completed. I guess we couldn’t see the end of the road because PART TWO starting rolling off the computer and now a sequel, tentatively called “T” is lurking.

    SAME MOON, SAME SKY
    by Elisa Medhus, M.D. and E. J. Daniel

    Chapter One
    Faded Gecko

    I sat down at the foot of Momʼs bed. Bet sheʼd be surprised to see Iʼd found my
    favorite shirt. Yeah, it was disreputable, but I got it on a bitchinʼ trip to Hawaii when I was seventeen and learned to surf. It still fit. I liked it. Fortunately, even though sheʼd pushed it to the back of the closet, she hadnʼt tossed it.
    Mom was reading. Probably a medical journal. She did that when it was quiet and
    Dad was still watching 60 Minutes on TV. I had my back to her, but I could see out of the corner of my eye that it wasnʼt a journal. No wonder she didnʼt see me, she was hiding behind People Magazine. What? That wasnʼt her usual style. Maybe she saw a headline while standing in line at the supermarket about little green men having lunch with the President and the First Lady. I wondered if aliens could attend the White House in their natural bare-assed state or would they have to stop by Walmart for some clothes made in China before they could pass through the W.H. security. I never heard anyone mention seeing aliens with clothing. On the other hand, the lead story could be
    yet another boring blurb about some wannabe actress on her fifth stint at rehab after a judge had patted her hand and said, “Thereʼs no need for such a beautiful, talented young lady to spend time with a lot of disgusting inmates at the local lock-up.
    I shifted my weight as I turned toward Mom. She suddenly put down the tabloid and stared at me. She looked taken aback. Bet she never thought Iʼd find that shirt.
    “I donʼt believe it!” she said.
    “Iʼm resourceful,” I said.
    “You look wonderful!”
    “Itʼs a little wrinkled, but it still fits. Okay. Itʼs frayed and the geckos are faded. Whatever.”
    Mom leaned forward and tried to touch my hand. I got up.
    “See ya,” I said and made a quick exit.

    Chapter Two
    Wet & Wild

    Fuck! I hurtled down the tunnel slide at warp speed and nearly took out a couple ofrug-rats. Why the hell were kids lurking at the bottom of the slide? The pool is about two city blocks long. Couldnʼt their parents park them in the shallow end? Maybe they left their kids to their own devices while they boogied off for a latte or a cold one.
    I hoped my loud FUCK got the attention of the babe lounging poolside slathering on suntan lotion. Does that crap really work at this altitude? I swam over so I was just opposite the babe in question. The scent of HawaiianTropic wafted off this incredible specimen. H.T. always reminds me of my out-of-control days in Hawaii when hormones were allowed to do what hormones were supposed to do. This aphrodisiac clouded my mind. I had to get to band practice.
    What the hell, Mom wouldʼve said, “Life is short.” Dad wouldʼve countered with,“Take the bull by the horns.” No bull or bullshit here, and I was the one who was horny.I offered up my sexiest, most persuasive smile. That always worked. But, did she see me behind those trendy wraparound sunglasses that cost about a thousand bucks? I couldnʼt tell. Okay. Sunglasses are necessary at high altitudes. Iʼm guessing there are ultra-violet rays.
    Since I couldnʼt get her attention, I climbed the pool ladder to give her the full effect of my excellent body. Sheʼd have to be brain-dead not to react. Okay, that was crass.It was possible that she didnʼt have all her faculties. But, at her age, which I judged to be about twenty, she must still have functioning neurons and synapses. At least shehad long, sexy blonde hair (tinged a little green from the chlorine). Did that mean she was a bottle-blonde? Whatever. She could be whatever she wanted to be. Shit. She didnʼt react to my posturing.
    I glanced over to the end of the hot springs pool. It was jammed with old folks in the therapeutic section that was 104 degrees. Was that their answer to creaky, arthritic joints? I canʼt visualize letting myself ever get that decrepit.
    I plopped down on the lounge chair beside the unresponsive babe (which was conveniently vacant: the chair, not the girl.) The Gods must love me to provide this opportunity. The babe looked away.
    Iʼm the lead singer-guitarist in my band. I sang, ʻAnd when I die, donʼt bury me tall, just pickle my bones in alkeeholʼ. (Not one of my usual tunes. My Grandpa taught me that to get Momʼs attention.) It also got the babeʼs attention. She swiveled her head toward me. Yes! I do have a great voice even without band and backup.
    Then I saw tears running down her cheeks. She removed her sunglasses and wiped the blue-est of blue eyes. Great start, dude. What the hell had I done? Maybe I shouldʼve chosen lyrics a little more upbeat.
    My Mom wouldʼve jumped in and asked her what was wrong. Female tears scare the crap outta me. I didnʼt want to know her problems. I have enough of my own. “What do you think of the Ute Indians?” I asked in an attempt to move rapidly away from anything else that might be on her mind.
    She looked confused, ”What?”
    “Donʼt you hike in the mountains? You mustʼve seen the Utes.”
    “I donʼt want to see them. Theyʼd be pissed off,” she said.
    “Cause they were run out of this valley and slaughtered?”
    “Exactly.”
    “Given enough time,” I said, “anyone can get over anything and theyʼve had enough time.” That was, of course, bull crap. I hadnʼt worked out my shit yet.
    “I donʼt like to talk about death,” she said.
    Really?
    In that case, I grabbed her hand, pulled her off her lounge chair, and she had just enough time to toss her expensive specs on her towel before I dragged her up the ladder to the tunnel slide.

    * *

    “You have to scream or itʼs no good,” I said.
    We screamed. Every time. We mustʼve gone down the tunnel at least a dozen times. Okay. I exaggerate. After she climbed out of the pool, she twisted her hair and wrung it out like an old dishrag. Then she shook it. Reminded me of my giant schnauzer who would wallow in the snow and then charge past me in the mudroom before I could dry him off and wait until he got into the kitchen to shake. If Mom wasnʼt there, it was cool. The massive furburger would plop down on the heated floor and live happily ever after. But, if Mom was preparing a meal when Friedrich trotted in covered in snow, sheʼd go into semi-meltdown.
    Not that this girl actually reminded me of a dog. Not at all.
    “I feel like Iʼm sixteen again,” I said.
    “I hated being a teenager,” she grimaced.
    “Iʼll bet. I can see you in one of those tiny cheerleader costumes jumping up and down at basketball games with a bunch of other hotties.”
    “Not for a second. I was fat.”
    “What happened?” I looked at her ass as she bent over to adjust the beach towel on the lounge chair. There wasnʼt an ounce of flab on this babe.
    “I donʼt know. Guess I got fed-up being a blimp,” she said.
    She looked sad again. Iʼm an asshole. Just when I thought Iʼd pulled her out of whatever tragedy sheʼd been reliving, Iʼd shoved her back into it.
    “Whatʼs your name?” I said.
    “Crystal.”
    “Your parents named you after a rock?”
    Then she laughed. “And yours?”
    “Stoner.”
    “Be serious.”
    “Well, my parents didnʼt call me that all the time. Sometimes they referred to me as Erik.”

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      You and Erik worked so hard on this, Betty! Kudos to you both! My husband just finished it and told me this morning how great it was and how it all came together so well. And this comes from a guy who usually only reads motorcycle magazine articles!! I urge everyone to download this great novel.

  • Steve

    I really like this posting today – good stuff. And my take on grief is that we are missing the big picture when we grieve so much that it hurts ourself. Once we realize that nothing is permanent on Earth, that everything is constantly changing AND that we and the one’s we’ve lost are eternal…the separation from a loved on is just really a tiny blink of an eye when you look at the big picture. It’s only an illusion that our lives seem so long here. They aren’t. We are eternal souls and the time here is just a sliver of our existence that never ends.

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Yes, Steve, and I know that some took offense at Erik’s reference to life on the earthly plane as a school play, but he means that to give comfort, so we won’t take the heavy stuff so seriously and so we’ll know that it’ll all end up just fine no matter what we do and what happens. So many people, so many interpretations.

  • Denise

    If the Universe extends out to infinity from where I stand then I AM the center of the Universe, thank you very much. So let’s get on with making me happy and pain free, please. Oh, you don’t do that? I have to do it??!

    As we live in this illusion of reality bathed in ignorance we can reach for growth or wallow in our own little pity puddle. Are we selfish? Yes we are, but aren’t we trying to gain enlightenment in this place that makes it nearly impossible. Our focus is always me, me, me. When I do the right thing for someone else’s benefit it makes me feel good and if I am hurt by someone else it’s still about me.

    I have grief (I am getting a very sarcastic “poor me” for that one). Lots of it, for departed loved ones, my childhood, my financial circumstances, blah, blah, blah…how tiresome. I am trying my best to understand why I can’t just let it go. Perhaps it is who I am; there’s that illusion again.

  • Candis

    I did not find what Erik said to be hurtful, just confusing. Because when a wave of greif hits you, you don’t have much choice but to try and deal with it and it takes time (in this world, in our current state of being) to integrate the new state of being “without” into a whole new you again. No way around that usually. (Well, I think there can be flash miracle recoverys, but they are still rare.)
    If you deny or somehow fail to cope with this necessary integration, you walk around doing a lot of unconscious damage to yourself and everyone around you. And that damage will not stop until you face the music. In fact, it may be more selfish NOT to do your grief work, if you are in fact capable of it at the time.

  • guitarlinda

    re: life is like a school play……..
    the Seth used the play analogy as well and that has been very useful to me when I get too involved in judging myself or an event….I like the idea that this earth life is temporary and that our roles are chosen

  • Lorna

    JoAnn

    I do hope you feel better soon.
    Am writing this and my son Harry, who is 4 asked me what I was doing and when I told him he said I hope she feels better someday or Saturday or Sunday or Thursday.

    We are both sending you love nad hugs and kisses…sorry, thats all we got xo

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Aw, sweet Harry!

  • Skoshi

    Erik’s comments on grief…I think he often comes across as blunt on paper. I’ve seen many times when people take offense at something written because the feeling tone and facial expressions demonstrating concern don’t come across. Erik is a “tell it like it is” kind of guy; he doesn’t sugar-coat. Sometimes that’s what people need though. I have known people who have grieved greatly because their loved ones were not “saintly” and they were genuinely desparately concerned that they were suffering in hellfire. It helps to know the way things truly are.

    JoAnn – Will send you Reiki. – xoxo

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      I wish you all knew Erik as I did when he was here in the physical. He was so soft and affectionate and loving–not a single mean or petty bone in his body. Please just remember that and trust me when I recount who he truly is.

  • Ryan

    A Very clear point that came across to me from Erik was the difference between grief and loving. Welling up with tears over someone a year after they have passed is not the same as grief. Grief is the stuck part. Grief is the shutting down parts of your own life. When you think of someone you loved and are overwhelmed and brought to tears, that is love. Its appreciating the love. Its a release of the grief. People should not feel selfish for feeling this way. Its uncomfortable to breakdown in front of people and all, and we have so many negative associations with tears, but tears are good. With only the slightest bit of attention given, we all know the difference between depending on the sadness and expressing the intense appreciation for the love and the relationship shared.

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Deeply missing maybe what that is. Ah, semantics. It gets us humans into so much trouble with each other.

  • Karen A

    I’m trying to catch up after being on vacation for a week, but I wanted to say to the CE family that I believe Erik is spot on about the greiving being selfish and also about our earthly life being like an actor in a play. I actually read this information in a book that one of the other famous mediums wrote (I can’t remember which one). THey said that when we grieve too much and too long, we hold the vibration of the person we are greiving closer to earth and prevent them from doing what they need to be doing in the afterlife. I have told my children and husband that when I cross over, please don’t grieve for me, have a party and celebrate my life, my time in the afterlife, and the next life I choose to live. Also, I read that Shakespeare (or the Royal who used Shakespeare to put out his works) was a spiritual person and that line from his play “All the worlds a stage and we are but actors playing our part” is a good description of our time here on earth. Also, on the subject of being selfish, I believe that we are all selfish to some degree, even if you do good deeds so you can feel better about yourself, is being selfish. But it’s better to to the good deed and be seen as selfish, than not. Our job/part here on earth is to truly see love in everything and everybody, and help those in need when you get the chance. Hugs to all!

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