Channeling Erik

May11th

43 Comments

Erik’s Advice on Destructive Patterns

Posted in: After Death Communication, Afterlife, Bereaved, Channeling, Communication from the dead, Contact with the dead, Death, Grief, Grieving, Heaven, Human Experience, Immortality, Jamie Butler, Life After Death, Messages from the dead, Psychic medium, Struggles, Suffering, Suicide

There has been much heated debate on the last couple of posts so let me summarize my take on things:

1) Remember the written word doesn’t convey tone, and, as humans, we tend to fill in empty spaces with worst case scenarios. So many assume Erik’s comments were rude and sarcastic, but be assured they were intended to be loving.

2) We humans also attach our own interpretation to words. For instance, selfishness to some may be a terrible thing that we must exclude from our thoughts and behavior. I always taught Erik the concept of selfishness as defined by Ayn Rand. It can be a useful emotion when it protects and honors the Higher Self and the Greater Good, but when it hurts another, it must be tempered with love or redirected appropriately. When we hurt others, we hurt ourselves.

3) When Erik likened the human experience to a school play, some took offense again. I don’t understand that at all. Clearly, to me, it was meant to give us hope and comfort. When we struggle, it helps to remember that eventually the curtain will fall and we’ll go back Home all the stronger for our strife.

4) Erik is not perfect, but he shouldn’t be attacked when he makes a mistake–if he did. Are we to lavish him with praise when he provides information about the afterlife and Bigfoot, only to cut him down when he hurts our feelings? Is he not allowed to protect his own feelings and those of his deceased friends as they’re pummeled by our grief? Surely it’s not a one way street. It would be a truly malignant form of selfishness if we think that we can protect our own feelings but he can’t protect his.

5) So be open to listening to Erik and his messages warts and all. Assimilate it and process it and integrate it in a way that is meaningful to YOU and in a way that speaks to your Higher Self. There is no cookie cutter response that fits each and every one of us. So please don’t blame your misinterpretation or your attempts to fit a square peg into a round hole on Erik. If something hurts our feelings, that usually means there’s a kernel of truth to be found. So before you lash out, search for that truth.

6) Erik is not asking us to stop grieving. He knows it’s important to lean into the grief in order to find a bearable place in our new normal. But he wants us to be mindful of what it does to others on both sides of the veil, sending thoughts of love as well.

That said, don’t be a fair weather friend. He had plenty of those when he was here on earth. Don’t be cruel. He had plenty of that on earth too. If you disagree, it’s okay to share that, but there’s ALWAYS a way to do so with compassion–something he didn’t have enough of when he was here.

If you missed the interview on Everything Positive Radio, here is the link to the archived recording aired originally on May 6th.

http://sjrn.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=35&Itemid=93

And now for today’s channeling session. Hopefully, this won’t be fodder for caustic insults, too.

Channeling Transcript

Me: Now, along the same lines, why do some of us repeat the same destructive patterns over and over again? I mean, you see it out there—the woman that chooses men who abuse her, those who keep getting into drugs—

Erik: Oh, my god, it’s so hard to watch and so tiring. I’ve been there myself. And when we see this play out, we want to scream, “Don’t you get it?” but that’s the point. They don’t WANT to get it. We just have to sit and watch. It’s painful to see, no matter what side of the veil you’re on.

(Pause)

Me: Why? Why do they not want to get it?

Erik: I dunno. You’re gonna have to ask ‘em, because everyone is extremely different. There’s not one big general contract that says, “Be stubborn and never wake up.”

Me: So I guess each one will have to figure it out for themselves, hopefully with the help of friends or guides or someone. Okay, why are so many couples struggling in their relationship?

Erik: Cuz there’s this huge pressure and idea that you find somebody, you marry them, you stay with them for 80 years and you die together.

Me: Well, yeah, I thought that was the point of “Until death do us part.”

Erik: Actually, humans aren’t put together to be monogamous for an entire lifetime, at least not in all cases. We’re really put together to be monogamous with a partner as long as the relationship is successful, loving and inspires spiritual growth, but at the same time we’re put here to have connections with other people. I don’t know if you want to put marriage into it or out. Marriage is kinda structured for government reasons. It’s not necessarily about love. Look at the Greek times. Everybody had a wife and a husband, but then you also had your lover, you know, and that lover could have been married to somebody else.

Me: Yes, and homosexual relations were common and completely acceptable too. I guess boundaries didn’t really exist when love or lust was involved, but I don’t know.

Erik: Now that was the real 60s back then. The Greeks were really promiscuous, for sure.

Me: Are some of our relationships temporary because the spiritual contract with that person has been satisfied?

Erik: Absolutely. It’s like, “Okay, you brought these children, these souls into my life; we’ve worked through these issues, and now we are meant to be with somebody else.” But people want to just beat the shit out of themselves, because they’re not hitting the mark that society says they have to.

Me: Yep. God, society sucks sometimes!

Erik: Yeah, it’s completely outdated. So what I say—BOLD PRINT—Love who you need to love.

Me: Wow.

Erik: And the way that you need to put a boundary on it is you do it with respect. You know, you don’t just marry someone and have an affair. That’s not cool. But if you’re married to someone and you go, “Hey, I also like this person,” and the marriage is comfortable with that and you have that lover on the side like they did in the Greek days, then hell yes. I know that’s not gonna be the norm, but the only way it’ll work is if you have boundaries based on mutual respect. That’s all I’m saying.

Me: God, Erik, we’re going to get our heads handed to us on a platter with this.

Erik: I know, there’s gonna be that talk, “Oh my god, Erik thinks we should all be swingers,” but that’s not it at all. I’m saying be with who you love. Don’t stay in a loveless relationship where the contracts may have already been completed. And no matter what relationships you have, it’s all okay if you have mutual respect.

Me: Still, people can interpret things in their own way so the message could get distorted.

(How timely is this part of the conversation!)

Erik: Not a helluva lot you can do about it, Mom.

Me: Okay. (Sigh) Let’s see if I can squeeze in one last question. It seems a lot of people are at a loss as to how to complete their time here on the earthly plane. Has this been the case throughout history, Erik, or is this something new because of our technology bombarding us with information and the fact that so many possibilities are available to us now that we don’t just spend our time and labor on simple survival?

(Pause as Jamie listens)

Erik: In other words, you mean how marketing really sucks, because they feed us “food” we don’t wanna eat?

Me (chuckling): Yeah, that could be part of it I guess.

Erik: If we just ditched marketing altogether and followed our intuition of what we’re attracted to, then everyone would feel really satisfied. We need to be informed, that’s one thing, but when we’re indoctrinated to ignore our intuition and accept external influences instead, that’s not cool.

Me: In a way, things were so much simpler when we just had to survive—forage for food and shelter. The joy of simple survival. Now it’s so hard to find joy, because we’re like, “If I buy this car, they tell me I’m going to have joy,” If I go to this resort, they say I’ll have joy,” etc. It hard to determine for ourselves just how to find joy, and that’s always on the inside. No billboards there.

Erik: True, and we get so busy looking and comparing that we actually don’t have any downtime to go inward.

Me: Yeah!

Erik: Whatever happened to sittin’ on the front porch and having sweet tea?

(I’m thinking Long Island iced tea, but okay.)

Me: I know, and I’m so guilty of not taking that sort of time to just chill. Although I remember so many times sitting with you on the back porch talking and talking and talking. Remember that old beat up pink leather couch we sat on?

Erik: Oh yeah. Nice times together, Mom.

Me: Yeah. Well, I guess that’s it, Sweetie, at least until next time.

Jamie: He’s blowing kisses!

Me: Aw, bye, Sweetie! Now that you’re all dressed up, go out on your hot date and no more sneaking around the ladies locker room!

Erik: Damn, I hadn’t thought about that!

Me (laughing): Oh, sure!

 

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  • Tony

    Great posting and very nice preface to the posting.
    I didn’t read all of the replies on the previous postings and didn’t realize many were upset by the whole “school play” analogy. I just wanted to say that I actually found that part to be one of the most meaningful and comforting points.
    Throughout my life I’ve often told myself during hard times things like “in 100 years will it matter”. Putting things into perspective like that can be of great help at times, and I thought the “school play” analogy was wonderful. It actually reminded me of when I was a child, how during a school play I was extremely anxious with stage-fright. At that point in my life that was all that mattered, it was such a huge obstacle to overcome, but it passed and everything was fine. And now, 30+ years later, its but a memory, a fond one at that! Its nice to think that someday in the future my entire life here, both good and bad moments, will be remembered the same way when the “play is over”.

  • iola

    Boy, another explosive post! Will our hearts be able to take it? (just kidding)
    I do want to say here, that I have been guilty of judging where some of us are coming from. Thought about it all last night…came up with “who the hell are you, Iola?” so if I upset anyone with my posturing, I am sorry. Will try to do better each day. I guess part of the reason I am here is to listen to other points of view, and learn from it. You have all done so much to further my own journey in a positive way…I cannot imagine life without you all, and the support that comes with it.
    On a lighter note, I was told yesterday that Erik and Andy want to be included in our cabana boy party. I told them they would have to don skinny towels, carry margueritas on a tray and do their hair up blonde and spikey! They keep me smiling when its hardest to do so!

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      ;-) Iola

  • nikki

    LOL at the marriage stuff. I was thinking about all of that yesterday, since Catholics are guilted into the whole marriage for life thing and paying for annulments etc. Once again the Catholics are gonna be shocked when they hear the truth. Yep that’s you Sister Bernadette :)

    Erik is a sweetie and so appreciated. We need to remember that he did feel loss on the earthly plane. Was it two friends that he lost? That is more than most 20 year olds. He knows grief, maybe not the loss of a child grief, but does it really matter?

    Take care and go find someone to love LOL. I see trouble on the horizon with that one :)

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      It’s okay. I’m dressed in a suit of armor just in case. And yes, Erik lost a lot of young friends before he left the earthly plane, but in his passing, he also lost all of his friends and family still remaining here, at least in the physical sense. Those who were a phone call or hug away are not so easy t reach. In a way, it must be a little lonely for him.

  • Denie

    I have never discussed with anyone that I felt my marriage was done after 22 years. It would sound like I was being heartless. But it is true we were done. I always knew I would be married twice. Of course, I didn’t go into my first marriage thinking it was temporary, it was supposed to be forever. More grief.
    When you’re done you’re done.

  • elizabeth Schrader

    Erik & Elisa,

    Thanks so much for all the information that you share with our group. The key to it all is love and mutual respect. To be honest I actually think the Greeks had this whole “life” thing about right. Hopefully people in our group will remember “God” is a loving “God” and not judgmental. The judgement comes from ourselves and others.

    It was a bit disappointing to read the caustic comments about Eriks message on grief. But as Elisa said the written word doesn’t give tone and can be misinterpreted.

    Elisa thanks so much for bringing Erik through to all of us. It must be very hard sometimes when you feel you have to defend his message to the group. And please tell Erik thank you too for helping us learn more and grow.

    Love and Light to All

  • Elizabeth M

    Wow Elisa,

    I haven’t been following the follow up posts, but sorry to hear some have been so nasty. Please continue to speak your truth (and Erik’s) as you know it. It is for ALL of us in the CE community to then to take it or leave it. For those on the spiritual journey and those dealing with grief, there is LOTs of very good information/thinking/points of view out there to help build our own world and self view. We all have responsibility for our own thinking and to follow our own truth. Sometimes we hear/read things with don’t like, don’t get or never thought of. That is part of the journey and part of the challenge to our own status quo. But at least take the thought out; have a good look at it, turn it this way and that, and then say “Oh, I see” or “Nahhh”, as it fits us. I can’t believe there is such a fuss over the word “selfish!” Yes, of course we are selfish – we are ego driven! I truly believe that once one reaches true spiritual awareness, grief as we experience it subsides. I certainly know I’m not there yet, but there is comfort in knowing that it is attainable. It will take work. And pain is pain. So, we must honor the pain, but we don’t have to get stuck in our thinking about it. Keep knocking on all those doors in our minds and maybe, at some point, a wondrous one will open.

  • Joanne

    Hi Elisa and everyone,
    There really hasn’t been anything in this post or the last few posts, to warrant caustic insults either to the blog directly or to you privately. I’ve been quietly reading the blog for the last couple of weeks, as I work through my own fears, issues and ideas, and many times I think “Erik! are you reading my thoughts”. This post included, how very french Erik, thank you. However, my point really is that, if we feel Erik is talking to us directly through the blog, enough that it causes one to respond so defensively, then it probably is a message we really need to hear and would be wise to at least try examine it a little before dismissing it. Your words Elisa, Assimilate it and process it and integrate it in a way that is meaningful to YOU and in a way that speaks to your Higher Self. That’s why I read this blog and love it Elisa, keep doing what you and Erik are doing, it’s very, very much appreciated. With love and light Joanne

  • Allen

    Elisa, I really enjoyed this post and appreciated your ability to be both forthright, tactful, and elegant at the same time.

    What is also interesting to me is that some months ago, I stumbled across that “Virtue of Selfishness” by Ayn Rand on the internet as a PDF file and saved it – but just hadn’t read it yet. As soon as I saw your reference to it in a post, I remembered that I had that file and found it. Kinda weird…

    The commentary on marriage and love and spiritual contracts is interesting too. Makes me wonder,, based on observations of others, why things like that (making a significant change) can result in suffering through such a painful process affecting all sorts of areas in one’s life – mentally, financially, family & friendship dynamics, etc.

    Just random thoughts…

  • Tracy Lamont

    Firstly, thank you, Erik for all the work you do on the other side in order to ease our grief and educate us about things we’ve ‘forgotton’ during our most recent incarnation. It is most definitely appreciated – however you choose to word it. In fact, if you toned down your delivery, I wouldn’t be sure it was coming from you, so carry on doing what you do! You’re a star and – in the words of Billy Joel – I love you just the way you are!!
    Secondly, God Bless you, Elisa for defending your precious cub like any self-respecting she-wolf would do. I love and respect you all the more for that.

    Now, this is a timely session for me as Neil and I are currently ‘going through’ the break-up of dear friends. We love them both and find it impossible to take sides. They were both our most solid supporters through our grief and never let a day go by without a call or a visit to ensure we were ok. Now they have decided to part and Simon has a new partner – who is also a good friend to us. This is all so complicated for us as we don’t want to take sides. And it’s also obvious that Barbara, (the wife who is alone now), definately hates the idea of us resuming our friendship with Simon now that he’s with our other friend. Because of this, we’ve cooled our close friendship out of respect for Barbara, but miss our friends and the closeness we once all shared.
    It seems obvious – now that Erik has put it into words – that Simon and Barbara have just come to the end of their emotional contract and it is time for them both to move on. It’s just so hard to see the pain they are going through. Unfortunately, neither of them are spiritual, so introducing them to Erik is not likely to change their mindset.
    Even so, we’ll be there for them for as long as it takes as they were there for us.
    That’s what friends are for.
    Love & Light to my dear CE family xxxxx

  • M and M

    Very interesting piece. The breadcrumbs that Erik is leaving is finally starting to make sense to me. Repeatedly he communicates to us to stop blaming, and the discussion on marriage is yet another crumb. If the contract is up, it’s up. It’s not that the other person did something wrong or bad, that’s just the symptom to the underlying issue of things being done and that not being recognized. Instead of going to blame, shift to love instead (easier said than done, I know!).

    I am now reading everything Erik says through the filter of what I think he is trying to do, bring us back to coming from our authentic, higher self. It seems that Erik remembers and can still feel negative emotions, but he now comes from a place primarily of love. We, on the other hand, come from a place of duality, complexity, and swirling negativity. So it makes sense that what he says can shake us up at times. What an enormous shift he is helping us to make. Again, I am so grateful! And again, just my perspective, I appreciate everyone’s different views too.

  • Pamie

    Elisa & Erik,

    Great post! I have totally enjoyed reading the last few and I am just not getting the whole heated debate thing. I know we all have issues that we are working through and things that we disagree about but aren’t we here to learn and discuss? We all view stuff through our own filters and buttons get pushed…but shouldn’t this just be part of our growing and learning experiences? This kind of discussion just (to me) points out how we are all at different places in our spiritual evolvement process and reminds us to try and be open to new ideas and concepts even if they are painful.

    Again, I am amazed at how in sync I am with what Erik is telling us( he must be whispering over my shoulder again!) In an attempt to get “unstuck” I made reservations a week ago to fly out to FL for a few months to see if I can get my life back on track. When I read today’s post you can imagine my delight! I really love you guys, there are days when this blog literally is the only thing helping me to hold on to my sanity, LOL.

    Love and Light,

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      If you’re going to Florida, Pamie, does not mean you’re coming to Atlanta? You may have already said, but….Hope you can!

  • Lorna

    I agree with Tony, the playground thing gave me comfort. I feel lighter, in the back of my mind I can just release and let go of the pressure I feel. The people and society I try to please constantely and fail miserbly at does not serve me as strongly as it did. I can be slightly smug knowing that I am overcoming and learning lessons from my contract. ner ner na ner ner to everyone one who has put me down and made me feel inadequate…I’m doing ok and being able to read and interact with MY ce family means the world to me.

    Here’s to everyone’s own personal growth and don’t let negative remarks that are meant to hurt you, demean what you have done to get where you are

    xo

  • iola

    Wow, Elizabeth…you express my feelings so perfectly! Thank you. You guys all keep me honest!
    Love and hugs to you all!!!!!!

  • ebb

    Hmmm, about that preface, amen sista!!!!!

  • Skoshi

    This ties in perfectly with the previous post about being “stuck”. People also feel stuck in unsuccessful relationships…or perhaps it’s more accurate to say relationships that had been successful but have outlived their usefulness to one or both parties? Many people have now come to think that relationships are successful if they served their purpose and have ended amicably. Then it’s time to move on. I think a lot of folks used to stay married because there was just no impetus to end them, but they were no longer fulfilling. Now that people are living longer, I know a lot of couples who have gotten divorced in their 60s. My ex- was abusive. At 40 I thought, either life is too short to live this way OR life is too long to live this way, and I don’t want another 20 years of this.

    Why people repeat patterns…Pema Chodron would say it’s “shenpa”…we’re stuck, hooked by something, and we get in a grove and repeat the familiar pattern…whether it’s just one lifetime, or – if you believe in reincarnation – lifetime after lifetime. We are drawn to and repeat the familiar. Even psychologists say that. It takes a Herculean effort sometimes to break a pattern…same with overeating or drinking, or binge spending or gambling…or the INTERNET! So Pema would say, the next time you recognize a pattern you consider to be unhealthy for you, instead of beating yourself up, think, “I’ve grown in wisdom and now recognize a pattern; now I can take steps to break the pattern!”

  • True

    You Go, Mama Bear! Don’t let anyone mess with your babies!! ;-)

    You are definitely striking a chord – getting people to think – isn’t that why we’re here….to learn and explore…..and sometimes that can hurt!

    Keep doing what you’re doing – I am still amazed at what a gift you and Erik and your lovely mediums are to all of us.

    Love you!

    True

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Love you too, True! Truly.

  • Susan

    Great post today.. I agree we are all here to play our parts in the big drama of life. We each have our own talents (some of us know what they are and some are still finding out)but we are hear to learn as much as we can……….

    Great topic on destructive patterns and relationships….

    Susanxoxox

  • Susan

    oops, typo (in a hurry) I meant here, not hear LOL…….;-)

  • Steve

    I have to say that I’m completely aligned with this message here. As a gay man, I haven’t been trapped into the cultural norms of heterosexual marriage and all that goes with that. I feel that cheating and promiscuity are not healthy, I do feel that loving the person you love and being HONEST about this with everyone involved is the natural way, God’s way, to approach relationsihps. If your partner or spouse wants monogamy, you must respect that if you love and want to be with your spouse. If bringing in a third or having an open relationship is 100% OK for EVERYONE involved, then why is that wrong?

    But, I have to say, when I saw the words “Ayn Rand” I had to swallow my pride and not tell you how that book she wrote makes me feel so…nevermind! But hey that’s my own stuff and I need to allow for others’ to have different philosophical and political views because that’s what makes life so interesting and great :)

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Steve, have you ever read The Virtue of Selfishness? It’s not about conservative or liberal. It’s a great read for everyone and helps us understand what makes us tick. Worth a read. Promise.

  • http://avalonrisen.com Ceridwen

    The fascinating part of Erik’s words for me was about relationships, and I SO related to everything he said about them! They made me think of a couple of terms I’d like to share:

    1. Polyamory (many loves) – the ability to LOVE more than one person in a relationship format (NOT to be confused with “swinging” – the difference is LOVE!)

    2. Polyfidelity – A close personal relationship with more than one person – with respect and fidelity with each other in that relationship.

    3. Compersion, n.: the feeling of taking joy in the joy that others you love share among themselves, especially taking joy in the knowledge that your beloveds are expressing their love for one another.

    I personally believe that humans are not particularly wired to be “monogamous” per se…monogamy is primarily a societal construct pushed on us since we were little children – especially with little girls, who grow up planning their “fairytale marriage to Prince Charming”…

    As Erik says, look at the Greeks for example! Be with who you love! If it includes the three pillars of a successful relationship: Love, Trust and Respect, you can successfully have a romantic relationship with more than one person…or if you are into “serial monogamy” – having fidelity with one person at a time – then you can know when the contract is up and it’s time to move on to the next person you have a contract with…

    Now I know this idea may sound strange to some in here, but I’ve been studying this for some time. I even discussed it with Robert, and through him, Erik told me that my husband and I like to spend a LOT of time in the “hippy commune”, or City of Lights, up there – MERGING with groups of people in total joy of sharing LOVE! LOL!

    Some societies on Earth are open to these ideas – even some places in this country (for example, California!), but most of the country still can’t wrap their minds around it…love needs to be possessed, and jealousy abounds…”you’re MINE and you can’t even look at someone else or you will be breaking the loyalty you have with me!” Look at the state of “marriage” in this country – over 50% end up in divorce – some very nasty! You have “pre-nups” because you don’t trust your partner enough to not want to rip you off if you should split up with them…

    You need all three: Love, Trust and Respect – you can’t have a successful relationship if any ONE of them is missing! And all of us – gay, straight, etc., should have the inherent right to love who we choose and marry who we choose!

    Now, all this is not to say that there is anything wrong with monogamy – for some of us have found our romantic soulmate and just might want to be with them and them alone – that’s fine! If it is YOUR idea and not an expectation from society or your family, then go for it! I’m trying to make sure I’m not sending the wrong message here…but I really think that we have to eventually become more accepting of alternative forms of relationships! I mean, how does some gay couple’s marriage hurt someone else’s monogamous relationship? It has nothing to do with each other – both couples have the right to find love and happiness with whomever they choose (or even with a third or fourth partner as well!)

    Whew – that was a mouthful, eh? (Getting ready to duck behind my shield now…), LOL!

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      I’m ducking behind my shield too, Ceridwen, so you’re in good company. I completely agree. I think that our puritanical/quaker roots hold us back. A lot. That entire belief system has us by the balls, so to speak. It makes us afraid to follow instinct, to listen to our Higher Self and to honor the Greater Good. As long as we base our decisions on what honors the Greater Good, we can’t go wrong.

  • Su

    I think you’re right Elisa; Erik does have a way of saying things so that it provokes a discussion or what’s probably meant to be a healthy non judgemental debate.

    Having lost two friends to suicide and experienced grief many other ways – at the time, I would’ve also been stunned if someone had called me selfish while I was going through the grieving process – ‘I’ being the operative word. The way I see it now, grief, as incredibly painful and devastating as it is, is very much a personal journey. We look inwards at our own agony, what grief is putting ‘me’ through and how ‘I’ can/can’t get past this, why ‘I’ need the loved one/s back. No matter how much we see and feel others are hurting too, I believe through human nature we are more consumed with our own pain. Until we let go, our energy directed on owning our own grief, while grief has a hold on us. Also as Erik explained his own way, some people end up wearing their grief as a badge permanently because they lose track of who they were without it – grief becomes their main identity in an unproductive and unloving way to themselves or others. But generally it cruelly distracts us. While grieving is still raw, we don’t function completely or wholly, we’re not totally available to anyone here or in spirit. We can only offer parts of ourselves to the world as pieces of our fragmented soul are slowly but surely coming back to us individually over time. Until we allow grief to take its natural course to healing, it’s very difficult to truly see past the magnitude of our private turmoil. This may appear selfish but to me, it’s survival. This is what I came to understand by Erik’s words.

    Blessings to you both for sharing your journey with us.

  • Jane

    You know Elisa, to my understanding I am the only one who mentioned feeling angry about the reference to this life as a “school play.” I mentioned it once at the beginning of an otherwise loving and positive post which is how I always am about Erik. Yet whereas someone else can call Erik a dick and get an apology from you if I just mention that I felt angry at the idea of this as something “pretend” (or as just a test or any other characterization that to me makes light of the terrible suffering humans & others go through here) I get what seems to me to be judgement and saying “‘some’ got offended AGAIN.” I don’t judge Erik. I see him as an amazing friend and helpful messenger. When I take issue with the message I am more questioning the Spirit world and God in general and this whole setup we have here. I respect Erik very much and as such feel he can handle my questions. I put them up here publicly b/c I feel that either they can help flesh out the issues or that I can speak for a couple others who may not dare to say what they think and b/c I am willing to take backlash for what i see as the greater good of trying to stand up for people who are hurting and suffering and struggling. As well as communicating to the spirit world that any scenario that comes across as making suffering acceptable, especially the suffering of children, is not and will never be ok with me. That is not to be against you or Erik b/c I truly appreciate this blog and all you both have done but rather a protest to the terrible things that happen here on this planet. So while I can completely understand how the “school play” analogy is helpful to some (and that is great!) I feel protective of those who may feel even further marginalized by the analogy. For example I would not tell poor Madeline’s parents, from an earlier post, to just hang in there b/c soon we will be done with this whole school play. I would never have said that to YOU or anyone in your family either, just b/c there’s a chance that someone may feel their very real suffering is not being taken seriously.

    I am just trying to represent the voice that may not be being heard, and hopefully even get some answers and feedback and help working it all out. I have nothing but love and respect for Erik and appreciation for his efforts and his voice which for the record is hilarious and refreshing regardless of how i feel about whichever message he is sharing. As long as dissent is truly allowed here then i will present my thoughts – which are often agreement and gratitude and even joy – in hopefully a positive and constructive effort. I have said nothing caustic. If the message affects one of us or some of us differently it would seem to be helpful if we can all discuss things and be supportive of different interpretations and especially of feelings. If i feel angry or someone feels hurt I would think that would be normal given the emotional nature of the topics and that as long as we express our feelings and thoughts with respect then it can help all to discuss and be supportive of each other and tolerate the different ways the message strikes us.

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Personally, I don’t remember who was offended by the school play metaphor but it was more than just you, and that’s okay. Some comments come by way of email. Everyone has their own interpretation based on lifetimes of pain and joy. What I’m doing is no easy task, I assure you. I get several hundred emails a day. Reading all the comments on the blog takes time as well. Juggling that with work, kids, grandkids, transcriptions, cooking, housework, writing books, and squelching my own urge to sob over my loss is a daunting undertaking. I painstakingly try to be fair. I even ask myself, “have I not replied to her/his comments enough”? “Have I said the right thing”? “Do I convey the right tone in my words so it won’t be misinterpreted”? “Do they all feel like I’m treating them equally”? These are the same inner ruminations I have when I think about my own children. As with them, sometimes I lie awake at night wondering if I’ve done the right thing that day–if they all feel equally loved. But I can say that I am not perfect. I never will be–not in this lifetime or the next. However, my intentions are pure beyond what anyone can imagine and know that ANY thing that comes off as dismissive, mean, etc. is not. I don’t work that way. Oversights, yes. Forgetfulness, yes. Wrong choice of words, yes. That said, I’m doing the best I can and I’m giving all that I know how to give. I have nothing left. As for Maddy’s family, since I know they’ll probably never see that analogy about the school play, they’ll be fine. It’s meant to bring comfort, not to trivialize our life here. As for the suffering of children–or anyone for that matter–it’s not okay. It just is. What better hope is there than to know it won’t last forever and that the suffering will bring spiritual growth to someone? I can’t possibly be responsible for how everyone reacts to everything I say. At some point, we have to be responsible for our own reactions.

  • Stanley

    Hello Elisa,

    It’s interesting about the timing of the topic of destructive behavior. I never did drugs or drank…my drug of choice was self injury. I started back when I was 17, at the time I was going through a pretty bad patch of child abuse, and self injury was my way to numb out the pain inside. That hurt that feels like your guts are being ripped to shreds through your belly button. Like any addiction to numb out, I felt I had control over it. Every few days swiftly became 3 times a day on average. And thumb tacks got traded in for razor blades. It was just last year in fact I was able to get control over it. The last time I gave in to a urge was December 13th 2010. Sure I still have urges, but I have found meditation or astral projection as ways to calm down. I think the point is, we as society are taught that your not allowed to feel. We are told “real men don’t cry”, “Be a man and handle your s**t”, “Be a man and take it!”. So we bundle it up and push it down inside. We drown it in beer or wine, we take drugs to numb out the pain, or in my case, in the words of Linkin Park “bleed it out”. I do regret my choice of handling my pain. My arms from wrist to shoulder are covered in scars. Although faded, they are there. A reminder of a bad choice. I wonder how less stressful we would all find life, if we were allowed to feel angry, sad, upset, frustraited, tired, and the sort. To not be attacked or looked down on for expressing ones feelings. I just found it interesting this subject was touched on when it was. Some good advice there. Do what feels right for you.

    -Stanley

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Aw, my sweet Stanley. I hate that you’ve suffered so. We all have destructive patterns. I sure have plenty of them, and I agree with you. If we could only have the courage to surrender to our emotions and just feel, feel, feel, life would be so much better and the scars, internal and external, would further fade. Sending you a big fat hug, my boy.

  • http://www.mybizvideoguy.com GeorgeN

    Elisa, I am so thankful that you stick to providing the “unvarnished” transcripts of Erik’s communications. So much of what I read here in the blog entries feels true to me in my journey through this life. I’m sure, at times, Erik makes provocative statements to jar our human thinking allowing us tthe opportunity to grow.

    My immediate reaction when I read something Erik has said that bothers me at some level, is to ask myself what my discomfort is about? Often, I discover some fear I have is at the root. It becomes an opportunity to re-examine my beiefs and see if it’s time to grow some more.

    May you and all members of the CE family find the love, acceptance and inner peace we are seeking and diserve. If we are open to knowedge and willing to change we will grow, while if we cling to who we are now and what we currently believe, our path to enlightenment will be long. It is our choice.

    Love to all,
    George

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Hallelujah, GeorgeN. This is why I love you so much. (Don’t worry. I love you all.)

  • Gwen

    Ceridwen……

    Wow! Good for you….Don’t need to hide behind a shield of armor! Thanks for “putting it out there” ….It is amazing how society does affect us and sometimes it is on a unconscious level….So sometimes we really are not aware of the “persuasion” to these particular belief systems…
    To Skoshi: I personally experienced a marriage that lasted 26 yrs. and my thought was “I do not want to spend the next 20 yrs. in an unsuccessful marriage”…So I left the marriage “Felt the Fear and did it anyway”!! I had no knowledge (spiritual or otherwise) of what I know today so yes there was the UNKNOWN.
    I really appreciate all those who are contributing to this post and what I am reading ‘THANK YOU ERIK AND ELISA’ is really helping me to be more open minded and understanding ….And there is such “release” in doing so…

    Gwen

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      You’re so welcome, Gwen. Thank you for giving Erik a chance to do something wonderful for others.

  • iola

    Elisa,
    I just wanted to tell you that you do more than ‘all you can do’..and it does not go unnoticed. You are the most loving, giving, kind person, who helps us all, and your son is a branch off the same tree.
    In all the discussions and opinions flying about each day, I think it gets overlooked just how much you have taken on. Erik gets to zoom about alot faster..but I love him too for all he does for so many.
    So I am taking this moment, to honor you, to send you a hug, and to wrap my spiritual arms about you, lady! This has got to be a drain on you sometimes, yet onward you march. I know its only words, but they are meant from the heart, as everyone here will agree. You and Erik are lifesavers, healers, and the reason the world works even a little bit right.
    So kick back , prop your feet on a footstool, and sip a cold something…do it just for you. And when you go to sleep, smile at all the good you have done, and let the rest go for now.
    You are loved.
    And yes, I think the kiddos need to help with the firewood and vege weeding. Gotta keep em occupied! LOL :-)

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Oh, Iola, I’ve been on the verge of tears all day, and this lovely comment of yours opened the floodgate. Sometimes I just feel so tired and lonely. It’s so nice to know that I have a friend in you. And I’ll be a friend to you and Andy forever.

  • Jane

    Fair enough Elisa, thank you for the reply. And yes you can’t and shouldn’t have to be responsible for my or anyone else’s reactions. We are each responsible for our own reactions to the message and to each other. Thank you again for this blog. I have wondered how you manage to respond to all the comments every day and still have your non-blog life too. I hope you are doing ok with so much on your plate.
    Hugs,
    J

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Hugs back.

  • Shannon

    The relationship/marriage/love issue is so interesting. I left an abusive marriage after 13 years. It was over long before I left, I was just too “married” to my ingrained belief that with enough love any marriage could last forever…

    During the 4 years I worked as my divorce attorney’s assistant I learned one very profound thing: EVERY relationship (marriage, parent/child, siblings, grandparent/grandchild, employer/employee, business partners, etc.) has an expiration date. Expiration dates come as death, divorce, separation, parting of ways, etc. However, unlike a carton of milk, that expiration date is not stamped on everyone’s head. Most of us mourn the loss of a relationship as one mourns the loss of a loved one, beating ourselves up over what we coulda/shoulda/woulda done or worse, how the other person wronged us. It would be so much healthier if we could just take a step back and acknowledge that the relationship has run it’s course and it’s time to move on. It’s easier to forgive ourselves and others when we view our relationships from this perspective.

    Just my 2 cents…

    S.

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      The whole expiration date metaphor is something that might give comfort, allowing us to go easy on ourselves and know that, as you say so eloquently here, Shannon–Sometimes a relationship has just run its course and it’s time to move on. What a release that would be if we could just surrender ourselves to that idea, knowing that letting go is not at all the same as giving up.

  • Christine

    I think we all need to try our best not to take anything too personal. Statements are just statements – nothing is said to be hurtful. I get messages from my boy that could be interpreted as mean, but a message is a message. Elisa, please please please never edit any messages.

    With love

    • http://drmedhus.com Elisa

      Of course I never will. I figure if Erik or an angelic being he has with him says something, they must intend for it to be heard.

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