Erik was always a fan of an eclectic mix of music: hard rock, rap, reggae, spanish classical guitar and, of course, grunge. Nirvana was no exception. He loved their music. Personally, I also enjoy crazy percussion, screaming electric guitar with lots of palm muting, so Kurt cobain is right up my alley too. Then again, I like Kid Cudi, Matisyahu, Sublime, Rebelution, Caroline Herrera, and, yes, some show tunes. An motley, crazy mix for one crazy old lady. Sigh.
And now, Kurt will take the stage:
Me: Erik, let’s see if we can squeeze in one more.
Jamie: Yeah, Erik just brought in Kurt.
Me: Okay. Kurt! Hey, buddy, what’s going on? We’re here to give you a voice.
Jamie: Ah, it’s not how I imagined his voice would sound!
Me: Really?
Jamie: Yeah! It’s kind of mumbled and scratchy!
Me: Okay.
Jamie: Scratchy. I just imagined it would be, I don’t know, very smooth.
Me: So, Kurt, are you cool with us giving you a voice?
Kurt: Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re about.
Me: Okay, okay. Well, let’s first talk about your beliefs. What did you believe about death and the afterlife before you passed on?
(Pause)
Kurt: I think—
Jamie (to Kurt in a very calm, soothing voice): Back up, Kurt. Talk slower to me.
Kurt: I think that earth is an illusion and that the afterlife is the real life we are meant to live.
Me: And that’s what you thought before you died?
Kurt: Yeah.
Me: Wow, so you were a pretty spiritual dude!
Kurt: Well, I don’t think people saw me as spiritual. They saw me more as crazy.
Me: Aw, Sweetie…
(Long pause)
Me: Well, some people think that I’m crazy now, so, you’re preaching to the choir. What was death like for you, Kurt?
Kurt: I wasn’t afraid.
(Long pause)
Jamie: God, did he shoot himself?
Me: Yeah, I think so.
Jamie: Like with a big-ass gun?
Me (somberly): Yeah, I think it was a shot gun.
(Long pause)
Jamie (to Kurt): Kurt, don’t show me the pictures. Just talk to me.
(Pause)
Jamie: I thought he died of an overdose.
Me: Gosh, I don’t keep up with these things, but I’m pretty sure he shot himself.
Jamie: Wow. No, don’t show me pictures, Kurt! Just talk to me, Honey.
Kurt: I am! I’m showing—
Jamie: No! No!
Me: Sweetie, just tell us how it was to transition to Home. What was it like for you? If you don’t want to share this, it’s okay.
Kurt: It was my ultimate fucking release.
Me: So it felt euphoric? Is that what you’re saying?
Kurt: It was partly a ‘Fuck you’ and partly a ‘Marry me with Home.’
Me: Ah, yeah.
Jamie: He’s not alone when he dies.
Me: Okay.
Kurt: I was very much high when I pulled the trigger. But it was in rebellion to the emotions I was having. It was to all the people I loved— not to my fans—I was equal to my fans. It was to the people that SHOULD have loved me.
Me: You mean the ‘fuck you’ was meant for those who should have loved you?
Kurt: Yeah.
(He mentioned names, but out of respect, they will not be mentioned here.)
Me: Okay, so you made your transition; it was a great release. How did you feel afterwards, and what did you experience in the afterlife?
Kurt: Ah! A drug that I could not find on earth! And trust me, I put anything and everything into my body!
Me: So, how is the afterlife for you now? Can you tell me about your “life” in the afterlife?
Kurt: Man, I like it so much, I—
Jamie (chuckling): He’s a CUSSER!
Me (laughing hard) Erik and he should get along well!
Jamie: Seriously! He likes the F word a LOT!
Me: Go ahead, Kurt. Pull out all the stops. It’s not like I haven’t heard it before—and used it before!
Kurt: I like Heaven so much, I don’t want to fucking come back to earth anymore.
(Jamie has a lot of trouble repeating these F-bomb laden sentences.)
Me: Yeah.
Kurt: That was a goddamn big mistake! Look at my fucking life! I was given to people as an accident. They didn’t love me; they didn’t want me. Everywhere I went, doors shut, doors closed. I came here purposely, I know, to feel the misery and the suffering of what people can go through, because, I tell you what, when you get here, you don’t have it. How can you fully know yourself unless you stretch your head—unless you stretch your heart into places where people will never tread? That’s what separates you.
Me: From—
Kurt: From the whole.
Me: Ah, I see.
Kurt: It’s the experience, not the knowledge. We only gain knowledge through experience. You don’t gain it with fucking age. I know fucking old people who sit still for goddamn years. They don’t know shit.
(My heart bleeds for poor Jamie having to repeat this litany of swear words.)
Me: So you were very brave to take on that life of misery, then. That showed a lot of courage, Kurt!
(Long pause)
Kurt: You are a rare woman for acknowledging that.
Me: Aw, Sweetie. I just call ‘em like a see ‘em. So tell me what your afterlife is like?
Kurt: Aw, I live where the music is! I find people who enjoy my music who make there own. I’m like a muse. I’m a muse for other people.
Me: Is that your life’s work there?
Kurt: Yes.
And now, enjoy his art with the song, Lithium. Then, be sure to click on the Facebook Like button or any or all of the other social connect buttons so we can help our family grow.
