Me: Can you tell me a little about your transition?
Heath: Aw, it was very peaceful. And it was totally unintentional. I had no comprehension that what I was doing would lead to death.
Me: Yeah.
Heath: I’m quite disappointed in myself, but in that state of mind—the lack of sleep—I’m sure you, as a mother, can sympathize with what I’m saying, of having that lack of sleep and believing you’re making sound decisions when actually they’re quite poor.
Me: Can you describe your surroundings and thoughts once you realized you had died?
Heath: I had two simultaneous reactions. One was sheer gratitude. It is bizarre to imagine that that would come across my mind—to be so grateful to be removed from the sleeplessness, the anxiety, the noise in my head. I wouldn’t necessarily call it communication. I wasn’t doing it as clearly as we’re doing it now. But it was noise. So there was that moment of sheer gratitude, and what followed afterwards was that classic feeling of ‘What have I done?’ But I was quickly immersed in love from family members who were there for me, and this didn’t allow me to dwell on my fears or worries.
Me: Do you think your death was your destiny?
Heath: No. I feel it was a true bobble.
Jamie: I don’t recognize that word.
Me: Sounds British. I’ll look it up later, but it probably means a mistake.
Heath: Yes, that’s it.
Me: Tell me more about your afterlife. What do you do there, and what does it look like?
Heath: First I enjoy watching over my daughter. I have huge regrets that I’m not there for her. I would have given up my career—everything— knowing what I know now—just to be the father. But my afterlife is simple, not doing much, not holding on to that celebrity flag as some do after they cross over.
Me: Yeah.
Heath: It’s about me watching over her.
Me: Okay. Can you describe your surroundings?
Heath: They look a lot like where I grew up and where my daughter lives and travels.
Me: That makes sense. Did you gain any new insights given your new perspective in the afterlife?
Heath (chuckling and readjusting his jacket): What did I gain? I definitely gained the value of a human life. It’s more fragile than we think, because we have this false sense of security and this false sense of control. But really, we just become great puppeteers.
Me: Oh, yes, that’s true. Were you here to learn or teach anything?
Heath: I did have a lot of struggles with intimacy, opening up, being honest and willing to be loved. I feel I didn’t come in to be some star and set a huge example for others. I really came to have a life that I loved and to learn how to accept love. Many people, when they fall in love and kind of crest over that hump of ecstasy, past the exploration, right when you’re about to hit that steady groove, that’s when I would—
Jamie (giggling): I don’t know that word either! It’s like waddle or waggle; it means unstable.
Me: Maybe wobble.
Heath: Yes, that’s when I would become unstable and want to pull back or sabotage it. That was my moment of learning, but I don’t feel that I achieved that lesson completely.
Me: Aw.
Heath: But I’m going to try and make sure that my daughter does.
Jamie: Wow, he’s really smitten by her!
Me: Aw, yeah, she’s a lovely little girl.
Jamie: He’s just so quick to talk about her.
Me: So, were you here to teach anything?
Heath: I’d be very pleased if people actually learned something from me, but it wasn’t a conscious effort on my part to teach anything.
Me: So there was nothing in your spiritual blueprint for you to teach?
Heath: Yes, not in this lifetime.
Me: Okay. Any regrets, Heath?
Heath: Just the fact that I’m not being a father to my daughter.
Enjoy this telling video of Heath where he talks about being a father and about his views on death. Note how exhausted he appears!
For those of you who can’t play embedded videos, here’s the URL:
Heath Ledger
