Channeling Erik
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  • Archives

  • January29th

    A Visit to Big Sister

    Posted in: Afterlife, Channeling, Energy, The Physics of Thought, The Soul, Visitation

    So many people, including family members and friends, have reported visitations from Erik that are vivid, tangible and accompanied by a certainty that his presence is real. Here’s an email his big sister, Kristina, sent me recently:

    “Erik came to me yesterday just as I was falling asleep. My eyes were half-closed so you know how you see little blips and things go across your vision when you do that? Anyway it started as a small tiny “icon” of a face, then it grew bigger with features, and then there was Erik’s face! It wasn’t in color or 3D or anything; more like shades of darkness imposed upon darkness (from eyes half-closed, I guess) but I knew it was him. I hadn’t even been thinking about him. Then lots of images in the same dark outlining started appearing and I couldn’t make some out or keep up with them all, but I kept seeing a big flying bird, like an albatross. I tried to see his boat (I think he was trying to show me) but I couldn’t make it out. Other images were of him turning his head to look at me, with only his head visible, almost as if he were in a canoe (I couldn’t see anything else) or a hammock(?). it was brief but I enjoyed it and smiled to myself before falling asleep. And you know the other night I told you about how I felt him with his hand on my head while I was laying on my pillow.”

    In a recent channeling session with Kim, Erik told us he had a new boat. He claims that all souls are able to create anything they want just by thinking about it and manipulating energy. They can use their thoughts and energy to travel as well. He also says we’re able to use our thoughts to create our reality here on Earth, but it’s instantaneous in the afterlife.

    It doesn’t surprise me that he created a boat for himself. I’m not sure what it looks like, although I’m sure I’ll have many opportunities to ask him. One thing for sure, I’ll bet it’s sleek, fast and loud. Heaven will never be the same again!

    Erik and Kristina Boating Together

  • January27th

    Little Black Bird

    Posted in: Channeling, Death, Death of a Child, Grief, Suicide, The Soul

    I met a remarkable woman last night who shared a story that will send chills down the spine of even the most recalcitrant skeptic. Like me, Becky lost her 20 year old son to suicide and we share many of the same struggles. She recounted many stories, but this is one of my favorites.

    As most of us bereaved mothers do, she longed for a sign from her son that would assure her he was at peace, that he was still around, somehow. One day, while lying on his gravesite, she pleaded for him to give her such a sign. Right away, a black bird flew across her, followed a moment later by the rest of its flock. Okay, so that could be explained by coincidence, right? I mean, birds do fly in the sky, even the sky above a gravesite. But this is where the story defies explanation.

    One day, she found a little black bird perched on one of her son’s bookshelves…in her home! She knew it was him. She felt his presence. Furthermore, the bird didn’t flinch, much less fly away, when she gently scooped it up in her hands. She carried it lovingly to the door and let it go. As the bird flew away, she said her grateful goodbyes. How did that little bird get into the house? There were no open windows. Becky wasn’t in the habit of leaving doors open. And why a black bird? Couldn’t it just have easily been a sparrow, a bluejay? I do believe it was her son trying to let her know that he was free from earthly bonds, that he was okay, at peace and with her. What do you believe?

  • January26th

    Death and Channeling, Part III

    Posted in: Afterlife, Channeling, Death, Death of a Child, Dreams, Energy, Grief, Guardian Angel, Life, Quantum Physics of the Soul, Struggles, Suicide, The Physics of Consciousness, The Physics of Heaven, The Physics of Thought, The Soul

    Through the medium, Kim O’Neill, Erik shared volumes of information about death, but I wanted to start by letting him know that, although I would like to channel him on my own, my grief makes it difficult to have the quiet mind necessary to hear him. Here’s his response:

    “I’m just going to have to talk louder than your grief! Your grief is causing a lot of static. It’s like if we were at a water park, we’d have to talk louder to hear each other.”

    ‘Can you do that, Erik?’ I ask.

    “Oh, sure.”

    ‘But how will I know it’s you and not a conversation I just make up in my mind?’

    “Because you know me, Mom. You know the way I talk. You know my sense of humor. I’m gonna say, ‘Mom it’s me,’ and you’ll know it’s me. You’re going to be able to feel the difference between your grief, your head talk and me. And I’ll talk louder than your head talk so you’re probably gonna have to tell me to keep it down a notch CUZ I’M GOING TO BE TALKING REALLY LOUDLY! Here’s my plan for now. I’m going to be coming to you in dreams, lucid dreams. So I’m coming to you first. In the morning, you’re going to have total recall about what we talk about, usually. If you don’t, when you go to the computer and start typing. It’ll just come out.”

    I ask, ‘How often can you come to me?’

    “Any time I damn well please!” he says jokingly.

    ‘Well then, how often do you think that can be?’ I ask this because I want so desperately to have him with me all the time. It’s funny; when a person is around, you feel okay about seeing them only sporadically. It’s no big deal if they go away on a trip for a week or two and hang out with friends more than home, but when they die, they become the center of your every thought and emotion. You want them to be around you, communicating constantly.

    Erik goes on to say, “Well, I’d like to come every night the day before you wanna write something the next day.”

    That, of course, means I will be determined to write daily. Communicating in dreams, however, is one thing, but feeling their touch is another. So I ask, ‘How can I better feel your presence?’

    Erik assures me by saying, “I’ve been working on building my ability to manipulate physical matter on the earthly plane. Every time we pass away and our soul goes to heaven, we’ve gotta work on our ability to expand our electrical energy so that, if we want to, we can move material objects; we can really make our presence known in the most tangible way possible—to materialize, to touch others, and to have them feel it. That’s what I’ve been working on. So, what I’m going to do is this: I’ll come up and hug you; I’ll touch your arm and you’ll know it’s me; I’ll come up and give you a kiss on the cheek, and I’m going to rub your hair. I’m going to put my hand on top of your head and rub your hair back and forth just like I used to do. Remember how it used to piss you off when I messed up your hair like that?” (He laughs really hard for several seconds. Of course, now, I’d give anything for him to have my hair in a rat’s nest all the time.) “And when you drive you’ll hear me saying ‘Mom, go faster’ or ‘it’s yellow, you can make it; you can make it; go through the light.’”

    ‘Yeah, I remember what a backseat driver you were, Erik!’ I respond with a chuckle.

    He laughs and says, “Yeah, it was easier to be a backseat driver with you than with Pappa, huh? You took it better than he did! And Mom, this is what you’re going to write about in a book: How parents can rise above the grief to actually be able to feel and hear and be aware of their kid around them. You’re also going to be smelling me, Mom. It’ll be the smell like I’ve been working outside, kinda like a sweaty guy smell.” Ah, how well I remember that scent. It wasn’t objectionable to me a all; it was just a sign of how much he loved working outside on cars, bikes, and his welding.

    Erik continues with, “Mom, you did everything you could. The problem was I didn’t listen to you. I thought all that stuff was a bunch of bullshit, but now I know! Oh my God, if only, if only, if only. I created something that was much more stressful than it was supposed to be. Even when I had the gun in my hand, it was like should I, shouldn’t I, should I, shouldn’t I? It happened so fast that my guardian angels couldn’t do anything to stop it. They tried to get other people to call or come over, but there wasn’t enough time.”

    Just before his death, his older sister, Kristina, experienced something that gives Erik’s statement credence. She says, ”I had been reading about learning disabilities and suicidality in children/teens for my behavioral science course, and I of course was thinking about him the whole time that morning. I got a strong urge to pick up my cell phone and text him ‘I love you’ for no apparent reason at all. But it was in my purse in the other room and I didn’t go get it. I feel remorseful about that.”

    On the day of his death, Erik’s younger sister, Annika, and his Aunt Teri recall passing by his room as they walked down the hall to go to the lunch we had planned. In fact, their encounters occurred within ten minutes of his death. They both claimed they saw him sitting at his desk, staring ahead solemnly. Oh, how they wished they had recognized his sadness and stopped to comfort him! In retrospect, these three incidents were most assuredly his guides’ attempts to muster our help and intervention.

    Yet Erik reassures us as he continues, “I know you knew it was a possibility this would eventually happen, Mom, but there was nothing you could have done beside worry and do all the stuff you did to help me. Did you know a third of parents around the world have kids who are suicidal? I know that now. You need to let other parents know that too.”

    ‘Could you tell me more about what it’s like to die, Erik?’  I ask.

    “I literally felt no pain. I felt no pain. Mom, it’s really important to put that down because a lot of kids die in accidents like car accidents or motorcycle wrecks. Some have been murdered; some have drowned. Even if a child has died of a heart attack or cancer, the parent is always going to worry about the pain and suffering they might have had during death. But tell everyone there is no pain. My soul popped out of the body at the moment of my death. I truly felt nothing. You know, Mom, I’m going to be totally honest with you about everything. I felt this shocking, this immediate sense of peacefulness, happiness, euphoria. It was stunning. I felt like I was floating, like I was levitating. After my soul popped out of the body, at that moment, I heard a shot. I can’t gauge the time.

    “I was feeling this awesome euphoria and enjoying it and it then it was as if this invisible hand was telling me ‘look there, look down.’ So I looked down and I thought, ‘holy shit’ and I realized it was me. For a couple of seconds I wondered, ‘how can I be there and be here too?’ And then I realized, ‘Ooooh, it’s my soul! This is my soul! Then I came into this overwhelming knowing about who I really am, all of my past lives. At that moment I could understand what you were trying to help me heal from in those past lives. I got this immediate knowing and I was like, ‘Oh, oh, that’s what Mom was trying to help me with. Wow, she knew!’ I could see you for who you really are, I could see Pappa for who he really is, and Lukas, Kristina, Michelle and Annika, everybody, everybody—family, friends, everyone on the earthly plane. I could see them for who they really are. This knowing was rapturous. I know that’s a word I wouldn’t use on the earthly plane so I’ll say this so you’ll know it’s really me, ‘It was fucking rapturous!’ I all of a sudden had all this wisdom and I thought, ‘Aaawww, why didn’t I have all this when I was there?’ Then I realized I could have. I could have.

    “Mom, that’s where you’re headed. You are going to feel this knowingness, this peace in this lifetime, and then you’re going to teach everybody else in the family. You’re going to feel neutral, objective about the choices other people make. It’s a lot easier being in spirit because you can see someone else’s destiny even when they make choices that change that destiny. Spirits can immediately be neutral and not judge themselves or others.”

    “So of course I already told you what happened when I saw all the mess I made. I knew you were going to find me and that was not my goal. I didn’t think. Once I pulled the trigger I couldn’t change my mind. I felt this horrible sense of loss knowing what you guys were gonna feel and I had my own sense of loss, scared, real scared that you guys weren’t going to be able to pick up on me. I was real frightened about it. Then I had this tragic feeling of grief knowing you were gonna find it, Mom. I knew it. I felt this impossible to describe sense of remorse. Maybe it was even more grief than you feel, Mom, because I did it. I did it. I have no one to blame but myself. I knew I would have to have therapy because of it. So you know I went to Norway right away to see Bestefar (his grandfather), but my guide made me come back and watch when you found me. It was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced, seeing you break down in my lap, sobbing. My guide made me look at what pain I caused for you. It was unbearable.” (Here, Kim, again describes him kneeling, hands together as if begging, tears streaming down his face asking for forgiveness.)

    “Then I felt this pulling, this pulling like a gravitational pull and I heard this “zinnnggg” and all of a sudden I was standing there in front of a whole bunch of other spirits and I recognized them all! There were hundreds of them. I was like ‘Oh, there’s Aunt Sophie; there’s my brother from the Middle Ages,’ I could recognize everybody from all my past lives and my brother from this lifetime.” (I had lost a baby during my 24th week of pregnancy. It was a boy. We named him, Seth. It happened around 16 years ago, so Kim could not have known Erik had a brother on the other side.)

    “There was this big table where everybody was going to sit down…like a family dinner. There was a lot of music, there was a lot of laughing. Oh, and, Mom, I asked four souls from your soul group who aren’t part of your life now if they could help you through all this. I want to do something to help the family. I want to be able to do something for you guys. If there is anything at all I can do to help anyone in the family, please let me know, and I’ll do everything I can. I want to feel like I’m still part of the family. Ask me to do stuff. I can’t exactly take out the garbage but… Spiritual being can move physical objects just as well as you guys.”

    ‘Okay,’ I joke, ‘I’ll get a chore list together for you!’

    Erik laughs, then continues, “Mom, you’re going to notice things have been done, and you’ll ask other people ‘Did you do that?’ ‘Did you do this?’ and they’ll say ‘no’ and you’ll know it was me!” I found that so comforting. Proof of his presence is crucial. I don’t want to feel like I’ve really lost my little boy forever. That would be too much to bear.

    “Okay, let’s get back to what happened next,” I prod. Erik was always easily distracted, just like his mom.

    “Oh yeah, right, Well, I was at this big long table, and I felt dazed. I was still euphoric, but I was dazed. It’s like one minute I was in my physical body and the next minute I was a free spirit without physical limitations, and I kept asking, ‘I’m really a spirit, right? I mean, I don’t get to go back to that lifetime; I’ve let that lifetime go?’ Then I started “the review.” Nobody did the review but me. I was sitting at the table. Uh, I was sitting there and everyone was talking about how happy they were that I’m back. No matter how we pass, we’re always welcomed back with open arms. Everyone is always thrilled to see us again. Anyway, so I’m sitting at the table, and I’ve got my elbows on the table. I’ve got my head in my hands and I’m reviewing my life. I started sobbing when I remembered being a little boy and you calling me your ‘little man’ and doing things with me and telling me what a big man I’m gonna be. I’ve taken all of that away. Those were the worst moments of the review. I want to thank Pappa for treating me like an adult. Pappa, you treated me like an adult for as long as I can remember. Thanks, Pappa; that meant a lot to me.”

    “So I finished my review and I considered what I could have done that I didn’t; what I did do that I shouldn’t have. I don’t know how long the review took. I didn’t mark time. No one here marks time. But it didn’t take long, because the candles were still burning on my cake, my “welcome home” cake. Then I felt this heaviness, this real emotional heaviness. I was approached by this female soul who offered to counsel me; she offered me therapy. So I’ve been going to therapy. She’s not only helping me understand why I did it, why I took my life, but how I can go back to the earthly plane with this heaviness added to the healing I was supposed to do this lifetime without doing the same thing again. Wow, Mom, if I could have seen what I was healing from (in past lives,) no wonder I was so fucking depressed and angry. No wonder, Mom!”

    “I want you to let other people know that we have lots of company here. A lot of parents who have lost kids worry that their kid is all alone, but it’s not that way. We imagine what we want to eat, and it’s right there. We live where we want; we live how we want; we don’t feel hot or cold. Thought creates reality much faster here. It happens in an instant.”

    I only booked an hour with Kim, so, sadly, it was time to wrap things up. I ask him, ‘Okay, I’m running out of time, but do you have anything else you want to say about what it’s like to die?’

    “Shit yeah, tons but don’t worry, I’ve written it all down. We can cover it later.”

    Erik writing things down? Could it be? That might just be the biggest transformation of all! I can hear him laughing in agreement.


    My "Little Man" Just Left of Annika and Lukas

  • January22nd

    Stacy

    Posted in: Afterlife, Channeling, Death, Death of a Child, Dreams, Grief, Guardian Angel, Suicide, The Soul, Visitation

    Erik always had a deep crush on a girl named Stacy. He met her when they were both around 14 years old. She was beautiful and kind and saw the lovely soul my son was even when he was in the gangly stage with a pimply face. Sadly, she moved with her family to the west coast so they had to communicate online and through text messages. Worse yet, she left him for another man, had a baby and denied him a happy future with the girl of his dreams. I say this tongue in cheek because Erik and Stacy never had that kind of relationship. Theirs was strictly platonic. But they did adore each other down to the core of their souls. (Not that Erik would have refused a romantic relationship with her. After all, he was a teenaged boy!)

    Shortly after Erik died, he came to me in a dream. In that dream, he told me that he was going to watch over Stacy and her little boy forever, and he asked me to pass this information along to her. So in the morning, I found Stacy on Facebook and sent her the message as he instructed. The next day, she replied with a response that floored me. She said that she had been thinking of Erik a lot lately and asked him to help her land a job she applied for at a daycare center. Sure enough, she was hired! On her first day, she was feeling very nervous, because the staff and kids were all strangers to her. However, as soon as she crossed the threshold, a little boy ran up to her, flung his arms around she legs and said, “Hi, I’m Erik and I love you with all of my heart!” Right then, she knew with great certainty that my son was communicating with her through a stranger. It was his way of saying, I’ll always love and protect you and your family. She broke down into bittersweet sobs.

    I’m told that the loved ones we have lost often contact us through children and even animals. Sometimes they’ll contact us through technology as I will share with you all later. They want us to know that they are always with us; that this three dimensional world we live in and perceive with our five senses is but the tip of the iceberg. Our true existence is in a larger, more meaningful reality–a domain that we consider our real home, a domain that, as souls, we return to with great anticipation and joy.

    Guardian Angel Erik

  • January21st

    Death, Continued

    Posted in: Afterlife, Channeling, Death, Death of a Child, Dreams, Ghosts and Spirits, Quantum Physics of the Soul, Struggles, Suicide, The Physics of Consciousness, The Physics of Heaven, The Physics of Thought, The Soul, Visitation

    I’d like to dive in to where I left off in the first channeling session with Erik. As he mentioned, after he saw his body and voiced dismay at the “mess” he created and his concerns about how we would react when we found him, he escaped to Norway to visit his grandfather, Bestefar. I’ll get into the abilities of a soul later, including how they travel and manifest whatever they wish.

    Once he was in Norway, he says, “I felt this magnetic pulling sensation, pulling, pulling, pulling me almost like a vacuum. And all of a sudden there I am, there I am! I started looking around and saw that Allie was there! Denise was there! Denise was right there in front.” (As mentioned early, Allie was one of Erik’s former girlfriends killed by an accidental gunshot wound to the head back in March 2009, and Denise was his aunt (my sister) who committed suicide to end years of suffering from the complications of diabetes.) Erik approached Denise, who was standing in front of the others and asked, “‘Did I go to Hell?’ She responded with a big laugh and said, ‘Because you see me?’ Then they both laughed and Denise added, ‘Erik, you idiot!’ They hugged and everyone else came up to hug him and welcome him back to Heaven. Denise told Erik she already knew what he was going to do and asked him if he could just stay for at least fifteen minutes to visit with them before he go back to check in on us.

    At this point, Kim says Erik’s case is a “huge anomaly,” because under ordinary circumstances (if the word “ordinary” can ever be appropriate in this subject matter!) committing suicide before it’s your time to go is a big no-no. Souls that end their lives always have to go through some form of therapy in isolation to help them understand why they did what they did, how they forestalled their chance to work on certain issues, etc. But Erik didn’t have to go through all of these steps, meaning he is probably a higher level soul. (More about soul hierarchy later.) Instead, Erik met and mingled with his soul group, stayed for a short period of time, and then returned to Earth where he’s living with our family now.)

    In the channeling session, Erik continues, “I wanted you to know I was there. Those are the orbs you saw in the pictures you took. That’s me! At first, souls materialize as balls of light and then later we can materialize in a form you can see. And that was me visiting Pappa in the dream where we were standing next to the truck. It was also me in the dream Popi (his maternal grandfather) had of me in his lap. And Mom, that dream Kelley had, that was Allie sitting next to me!”

    Kim adds that Erik is very well liked and is seen as extremely charismatic to others in Heaven. She also commented that Erik is going to be very tangible in dreams. She’s amazed how he already has so much control and power over his energy despite his recent arrival. She says, “This much electrical power is astonishing!”

    Next, I asked Erik if he was more comfortable in the spiritual plane than the physical plane, and he answered, “Yes, it was like having pain all the time like with a migraine or an abscess. I found some peace in Norway, but all the peace I found was fleeting. That’s why I always jumped from one thing to the next, to the next, to the next. That’s why I didn’t stick with anything long-term. The pleasure or enjoyment or stimulation it gave me was always so fleeting. I would start feeling pain again and then I’d jump to something else.”

    Kim then started to get choked up and said, “I see Erik getting on his knees, his hands together as if pleading, and tears are streaming down his face. He’s begging you to forgive him for what he’s done.”

    I plan to practice channeling Erik on my own. If this goes well, I will urge anyone who has lost a loved one to develop their own skill, too. Apparently, everyone has the ability to channel those on the other side, including their own guides. Maybe this will give hope to other parents who have suffered what I believe is the ultimate tragedy, losing a child. If I can establish a relationship with my son in the afterlife, so, too, can they.

    I urge everyone to read about the scientific evidence for the existence of an afterlife, the survival of consciousness after death, the fact that we live many lives, and other matters I once considered the domain of quacks and charlatans. I recommend two books in particular. One is entitled “The Hidden Domain.” This deals with the quantum physics of the soul, consciousness, thought, and the “other side.” You have to digest each page slowly, because it’s pretty heavy stuff! The second book is entitled, “The Afterlife Experiments.” Here, you’ll read about experiments that are performed using strict scientific methods to establish the fact that consciousness, and therefore the soul, does survive after death and communication with departed souls is possible.

    Peace, everyone!

  • January19th

    First Channeling

    Posted in: Afterlife, Channeling, Death, Death of a Child, Ghosts and Spirits, Grief, Struggles, Suicide, The Soul

    Grasping for contact of any sort with a lost loved one is natural. Years before, I would have considered channeling through a medium a little wacky, great fodder for jokes, even. But when Erik died, things I once doubted became urgent lifelines for me to cling to in hope. However skeptical at first, when I spoke to Erik through world-renown psychic, Kim O’Neill, I felt it was truly he. His personality, his wit, his manner of speaking, it was all Erik. Furthermore, she conveyed details she could not possibly have known such as the fact that he suffered from bipolar disease since he was 10 or 11 or the fact that he killed himself while sitting in a chair at his desk in his bedroom.

    One of the first assurances Erik expressed was that we, his parents, did everything we could to prevent it. He said he had contemplated suicide for many years, really and just wanted to make certain he did it in a way that would ensure his passing. In recent months, he even researched all sorts of suicide methods on the Internet. Although he thought about taking an overdose of pills, one of his biggest fears was that he would survive, but remain impaired for the rest of his life. In the end, Erik felt shooting himself in the head assured him the biggest guarantee for “success.” Next, he had to choose a moment when he felt sure we would not be in the house when the gun went off. That opportunity would occur on October 6 during the ill-fated attempt to treat my sister, Teri, my daughters, Annika and Michelle, and my grand baby, Arleen to lunch.

    Naturally, I asked him the heart-wrenching “why” of it all, and here’s what he had to say: “First, guys, I want you to know that you shouldn’t blame yourself. Dad, you’re better about that than Mom, but Mom, do not blame yourself. It is because of you that I lived to be the age that I did. It had nothing to do with school; it had nothing to do with the family; it had nothing to do with my health; I got real depressed when I was about 10 or 11. That’s when the bipolar disorder started. It would haunt me, haunt me. And it was real unpredictable; it would come and go. The lows were so terrible that I knew I wasn’t going to live to an old age. I just needed to figure out how and when to do it without killing you both with grief.” I asked him if, once he decided to take his life, he was afraid of dying and he replied, “Oh no! I was afraid of living!”

    I also asked him what death was like, and he replied with great exuberance, “Oh, Mom, it was great, it was awesome; aw, it was fantastic. When my soul popped out of the body, awww! I didn’t feel any pain. One second I was sitting in my chair, and the next second my soul was out of my body and I was like, ‘this is so fucking great!’ I felt no pain or discomfort. I could fly. I felt happy; I felt joyous; I felt warm; I felt secure. That happiness, that joy was overwhelming. And I was flying around and flying around, then I looked down at my body, and I’m like ‘Oh shit. Oh shit shit shit.’ I was surprised by all the blood! I was so surprised! I wasn’t even thinking about that. I was just thinking about relief. I wasn’t even thinking about what I was going to look like! I wasn’t thinking about the clean up.” Then laughing heartily to himself, Erik announced, “Cleanup on aisle six!” Kim was a little shocked by his irreverent humor, but I assured her that this was very typical of him. This was very “Erik.”

    He goes on to say, “Right after my soul popped out of my body, I heard the gunshot, and at first, I was a little confused to see my own body sitting in the chair. I thought, ‘Wait, I’m here. Why is my body down there?’ But then I realized I was a soul. I was really worried about what would happen when you found me, Mom, so I went to Bestefar’s house in Norway right away. After a while of hanging with him, though, I started to feel real, real, real sorry for what you guys were gonna find. The person I was most worried about was Michelle, because of all the people in the family, she’s the most sensitive. She’s the most vulnerable to being fucked up by something like that.” With a chuckle he added, “But don’t tell her I said that. I don’t want her to be pissed off at me. Mom, I knew you were going to be crushed, but I thought you would be able to deal with it if you knew I was going to be so much happier in spirit and that I was going to be with you. I’m with you all the time, but I’m in spirit and I’m happy. So you have a son who is with you in spirit and I’m safe and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I figured you would be able to understand that and accept it. I’m still with you. I’m with you all the time.” (All of this repetition left me with the impression that Erik was nervous about my reaction. This is exactly how he would talk if he came home after curfew or brought home a bad grade.)

    I will continue to share Erik’s description of his death and his first moments in the afterlife, but this has all exhausted me. I need to rest and lick my wounds.

  • January15th

    The Candle

    Posted in: Channeling, Dreams, Ghosts and Spirits, The Soul, Visitation

    My eldest daughter, Kristina, shared an interesting experience with me that occurred a few weeks after Erik died. She was up late studying, as medical students are notoriously known to do. As part of her ritual, she lit a candle in honor of Erik and placed it on her desk by her study materials. WIthout warning, the candle’s flame began to dance erratically. Now this might not seem so weird to you, but since it was a chilly night, the air-conditioning was off. There was no breeze, no source for air currents. Kristina even covered her mouth with a sheet of paper and turned her head to the side to make sure her breath was not causing the air to stir and therefore the flame to jump. At that moment, she also felt Erik’s presence strongly and knew he was up to his old mischief as a prankster playing a practical joke. Next, Kristina asked Erik to still the flame. It froze in place instantly. After waiting for a few seconds, she then asked him to make the flame leap upward. It did. In fact, the flame seemed to obey every order she barked out, “Stop…Move…Grow…Shrink.” Last, Kristina asked Erik to move the flame slowly to one side. She was floored when it gradually shifted sideways until its base seemed to disconnect completely from the wick. In other words, the flame seemed to float in mid-air! Kristina felt a sense of awe as well as comfort knowing that Erik is still around and, better yet, has retained his well known reputation as an accomplished jokester.

    In my reading, I have found that there is a general consensus on how newly discarnate souls can communicate with their loved ones here on Earth. As we have seen in my earlier posts, contact in dreams is one way. Another is the manipulation of energy: flickering or dimming the lights, playing with candle flames, etc. As they learn how to control their energy, souls communicate with us in manners that are less subtle, even physical manifestations. I just hope Erik puts more time into practicing his “energy work” than he did doing homework! (Just kidding, Sweet Boy.)

  • January14th

    First Hug

    Posted in: Afterlife, Channeling, Death, Dreams, Grief, Love, Suicide, The Soul, Visitation

    Let me start by saying my writing abilities have suffered greatly since losing Erik. I’m sure they’ll come back, but simple decisions like paper or plastic are hard enough. You can only imagine how challenging the construction of a decent sentence might be! But bear with me, please.

    Soon after the funeral, we decided to seek the help of a well known psychic/medium who also happens to be a dear friend. She had just undergone major heart surgery plagued by complications, so we had to wait for an agonizingly long time as she recovered. To make matters worse, it seemed I was the only member of the family who had not been graced with Erik’s presence. Why? No grief could possibly as profound and heart wrenching as that of a mother who has lost a child, so I suspected that my grief was a heavy cloak draping my mind as well as my heart. Therefore, all of Erik’s attempts to communicate with me may have been blocked. I would just have to be patient.

    Over a month later, my prayers were answered in the form of a dream. Erik appeared before me in my kitchen. He had a sweet, loving smile on his face. I folded him into my arms and held him for a long time. This was different that any other dream I’ve ever experienced. I could smell his face. I could feel my lips grazing his cheek. I could feel him in my arms. It was unquestionably real; nothing like the sensations in a typical dream.

    They say the soul’s consciousness travels to other planes during sleep. In fact, we can visit one another in our dreams here on Earth. This actually happened to me long ago. I had a dream that my daughter, Michelle, and I were on the bow of a huge ship tossed around in heavy seas like a toy boat. For some strange reason, hundreds of tiny turtles were crawling on the deck and, while struggling to hang on, Michelle and I fought to keep them from slipping overboard through the rails. When I woke up, my first thoughts were how uncharacteristically vivid this dream was compared to my usual ones. As I made breakfast for the kids that morning, Michelle said, “Mom, I had the weirdest dream,” and she described the same story, turtles, boat and all!

    That said, I believe those on the “other side” visit us in our dreams and we sometimes visit them. Early on, this is the only way a newly discarnate soul can communicate with us, because they haven’t learned to focus and extend their energy enough to appear before us in the physical. Stay tuned for more, as Erik increases his abilities.

  • January13th

    Ghost Hunting

    Posted in: Afterlife, Channeling, Death, Death of a Child, Ghosts and Spirits, Grief, The Soul, Visitation

    Although these first sightings offered some comfort, I was far from convinced. My inner battle between science and mysticism would prove to be a difficult game of tug-of war for several months. Nevertheless, I longed for proof of his existence and for confirmation that he was “alive” and at peace. In my desperation, I decided to stoop at nothing to open a line of communication with Erik regardless of how delusional I appeared to my family and friends. In fact, I even bought a “ghost hunting” set on Amazon to help me in my search. Before October 6th, I would have thought this was a sure sign of insanity, but afterwards, it was my lifeline. The kit came with all sorts of equipment, much of which I really didn’t know how to use for its ghost detecting purposes. It had a gauss meter, a temperature probe, an EVP listening device, an infrared motion detector and some other gadgets. That night, I placed the motion detector in Erik’s bedroom on top of his desk so that it would cover most of the space in the room. Then I closed the door and went to bed.

    The first night, the alarm went off at around 4:00 AM with a sound so loud and annoying, it could have wakened the dead in all neighboring counties. I went up to his room, hoping to see my sweet boy in spirit form and discovered that the door was open. Someone else in the family had apparently opened it. so I suspected the motion detector was set off by one of our three cats. The next night, we set the motion detector again, this time reminding everyone to keep Erik’s door closed or risk being threatened within an inch of his or her life. I even made sure the air-conditioning to that room was off so nothing could be blown into movement. At exactly 1:01 AM (which happens to be the time of my birth), the alarm sounded loudly. I jumped out of bed, flew up the stairs, and stood before his closed bedroom door. I heard no movement within. When I opened it, I didn’t find Erik, but I did feel his presence strongly. His face, which popped clearly into my mind, had a mischievous grin that said, “Ha, I gotcha!” There was nothing in that room that could have possible set off the alarm: no bugs, no open windows that might allow a breeze to move something, no cats, no nothing. Only his wonderful energy and the feeling of having been the butt of a practical joke. So typical of Erik. At last, my skepticism had received its first significant dent.

  • January12th

    Our First Sightings

    Posted in: Death, Death of a Child, Energy, Grief, Orbs, Quantum Physics of the Soul, Suicide, The Soul, Visitation

    Many believe that the soul is a form of energy that, in accordance with the laws of physics, can neither be created nor destroyed. This is a comforting thought, because it offers hope me that Erik still lives somewhere in that form and that he has simply shed his body as though it were a set of clothes. As I would soon discover, theoretical physicists and other scientists are now just beginning to explore the existence of an afterlife and other spiritual phenomenon once relegated to the domain of New Age “kooks” and opportunistic gypsies hunched over crystal balls.  There is concrete physics and mathematics supporting it all. Nevertheless, as a physician with a strong background in science, I confess that I’ve been extremely skeptical about such matters all of my life. My journey, my research, and my experiences would eventually turn me into a believer. Our first sightings of Erik represent a huge step in that direction.

    However painful the visitation and funeral were, we longed to commit every detail to memory, because to forget any moment was to let part of Erik go. We weren’t ready for that, so we took hundreds of photographs. When we mustered enough courage to look at the photos, we were struck by what we saw. Each one had glowing orbs hovering around in various places. We were sure it wasn’t something on the lens, because they appeared in different areas from the same angle and were produced by multiple cameras. Had we seen these in previous pictures? After reviewing almost 2000 photographs taken from that same camera over the last several years, we did not come across anything like it.

    The days after our discovery, we began to shoot photographs everywhere around the house. On one photograph, you can clearly see a glowing orb hanging around the casket. On another, an orb is hovering around Uncle Jim’s left elbow. The next day, that elbow had a swelling the size of an orange. He had developed an olecranon bursitis in it, which needed to be drained and then treated for over a month. Was Erik warning us?

    In the last photo, Michelle and I were headed for Erik’s room to take more pictures when suddenly Michelle’s hair stood on end, and she felt a definitive and intense presence that to her was clearly him. So, she quickly raised the camera, pointed it in the direction of that presence, and snapped away. When she reviewed the photograph in the viewfinder her jaw dropped.  If you examine the picture below, you’ll notice how everything is in sharp focus except that one orb. Furthermore, it appears to have a comet’s tail as if it were it’s moving rapidly past everything else in the room. Could it be Erik following his Mama? Maybe he wants to make sure I don’t mess with the stuff in his room!

    Could this glowing orb be Erik's soul?

    Can spirits warn us of things to come?

    Is Erik stalking me?

     

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